Women feeling "safe" with taller men.

[toolforgrowth]

Yes and I date too, sometimes successfully. That doesn't take away from the fact that I'm at a huge disadvantage.

 

By the sound of it, you were significantly disadvantaged as well (though in different ways than I currently am). Kudos for overcoming your significant disadvantages!

 

I plan on overcoming my significant disadvantages as well.

 

I appreciate that, but I never looked at my daughter as a disadvantage. I viewed her as the best wing-person I could possibly have. Could I see this woman in my daughter's life? No?

 

Next.

 

But I also REALLY enjoyed being single, so I wasn't in any rush.

[DukeNukem47]

And I don't think you're stupid. My word choice was poor. I should have said "emotional capacity", not "intellectual capacity".

 

I sincerely apologize for the error.

 

The button line is that not all short people have your experience. You are assigning your experience to the entire dating world, and that's simply not reality. I had more dating problems as a single parent than I ever did as a "shortish" man.

 

I cannot relate to you because I had an entirely different set of problems.

 

And I also stayed away from clubs. Those are meat markets and I'm too old for that kind of scene. I wanted a family oriented woman, not one who listens to music that goes NNN SSS NNN SSS NNN SSS NNN SSS lol

 

I don't date women from clubs either, at least not more than casually (and, thus, don't take them very seriously).

 

My experiences come mostly from work and school (both undergraduate and graduate).

[toolforgrowth]

I don't date women from clubs either, at least not more than casually (and, thus, don't take them very seriously).

 

My experiences come mostly from work and school (both undergraduate and graduate).

 

Yeah, you're younger than me by at least a few years, probably more. I will definitely concede that you have a different set of dating issues than I do as a result.

 

A lot of my experience these last couple of years has also come from work, but I put a stop to that. I've dipped my pen into the company ink far too much, to be honest. Lol It's one thing if it's your job, entirely another when it's your career.

 

At my age, dating involves children, divorces, exes, and emotional scarring. So when I hear people talk about height being an issue, I'm like "Is that all?" My GF recently had multiple court dates to force her ex to comply with the parenting time order (he was withholding their daughter from her). She's been fighting this ever since we first met.

 

Could you deal with it if a woman told you that? I wouldn't judge you if you say no or think any less of you. But the point is that that's the kind of thing you deal with when you date at my age.

 

Height never crosses my mind.

[MrNate 2.0]

Try knocking off 5 inches and let me know how you feel about it.

 

I know a few girls shorter than me even with 5 less inches.

 

Should I send 'em your way?

[EveAFlame]

Height is the biggest disadvantage in the western dating world among non-handicapped people.

Are you serious?!

[alphamale]

I know a few girls shorter than me even with 5 less inches.

 

Should I send 'em your way?

sure, we need more "spinners"

[toolforgrowth]

Are you serious?!

 

To be fair, he's speaking from his experience. He has yet to experience what it's like to date when you're a single parent, or when you have a crazy ex spouse, or when you're competing with people 10 to 20 years younger than you.

 

But I can't lie, that's what my reaction was too. My height has never been an issue. True, I'm taller than him, but not by much. I'm still not considered "tall" by either men or women.

[EveAFlame]

To be fair, he's speaking from his experience. He has yet to experience what it's like to date when you're a single parent, or when you have a crazy ex spouse, or when you're competing with people 10 to 20 years younger than you.

 

But I can't lie, that's what my reaction was too. My height has never been an issue. True, I'm taller than him, but not by much. I'm still not considered "tall" by either men or women.

 

Try dating as what is categorized as the least desirable race. I can't change my skin color. I've been brushed off by people online because of my race. And the whole Amazonian thing doesn't help. (No I do NOT play basketball.)

 

So yeah. All those kvetching about height makes me a little ill. But can I blame men for finding black women unattractive? No. It is what it is. I don't get angry with them, I don't rail at them, I don't blame them.

[toolforgrowth]

Try dating as what is categorized as the least desirable race. I can't change my skin color. I've been brushed off by people online because of my race. And the whole Amazonian thing doesn't help. (No I do NOT play basketball.)

 

So yeah. All those kvetching about height makes me a little ill. But can I blame men for finding black women unattractive? No. It is what it is. I don't get angry with them, I don't rail at them, I don't blame them.

 

I think this further illustrates that no one person's dating issues outweigh or are somehow worse than someone else's. We ALL have disadvantages of some kind. Some people are short, others have kids, others are Amazonian.

 

But we all have advantages, too. I think we tend to forget that sometimes.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yes, but you have to COMPENSATE for not being tall. Every single quality that you listed there has to be that much better because you are short (and, even then, it won't help with many women).

 

Sorry man, but you are in denial.

 

Spare me the armchair psychoanalysis..

 

I cant believe I am even going to reply...Its like pissing into the wind.,.

 

 

I know plenty of guys taller than me..In fact, most of my friends are taller than me..Not that I ever would, but if I did bother to research it, I guarantee they didnt have more options than I had as far as women go....Period..

 

And the way you are making the argument, its as if a guy thats successful in life/dating/relationships/ etc was so purely because he had to compensate for his handicap in life..If thats the case, then congratulations...you just made the most ridiculous argument I have ever read on here....and thats saying a lot..

 

Never in my entire life has a woman said I was "too short"..Could I have been and they chose not to tell me? Sure..Who cares.? If I sat around and complained about it like you guys do, then I would be the worlds biggest hypocrite.. Maybe they were too heavy for me...Maybe they are batshyt crazy...maybe they were too dumb for me...See how this works?

 

Practically no one in this world "checks off all the boxes"...No one..Some guy may be tall and have a 2 inch dick...Some guy may be tall and cant hold down a job..Some guys are tall and have emotional problems...Some guy may be tall and just be an ugly doofus..I can go on forever...The way you guys talk. all you need to do is be 6'+ and the world will fall at your feet...Doesnt work that way...

 

I've never done a single thing in my life with the sole intent of being attractive to women..Never..I do plenty of positive stuff for myself, though...thats what suits me..No guy should put that much weight in that aspect anyway...Having a relationship with a woman is a wonderful and fulfilling part of a man's life, but its not all encompassing..

 

TFY

[DukeNukem47]

Yeah, you're younger than me by at least a few years, probably more. I will definitely concede that you have a different set of dating issues than I do as a result.

 

I'm late 20s.

 

A lot of my experience these last couple of years has also come from work, but I put a stop to that. I've dipped my pen into the company ink far too much, to be honest. Lol It's one thing if it's your job, entirely another when it's your career.

 

I don't really care. I could just get a job elsewhere if things get too weird. No biggy.

 

At my age, dating involves children, divorces, exes, and emotional scarring. So when I hear people talk about height being an issue, I'm like "Is that all?" My GF recently had multiple court dates to force her ex to comply with the parenting time order (he was withholding their daughter from her). She's been fighting this ever since we first met.

 

I haven't experienced this at all. Most women that I've dated/tried to date were never married with no children.

 

Could you deal with it if a woman told you that? I wouldn't judge you if you say no or think any less of you. But the point is that that's the kind of thing you deal with when you date at my age.

 

I've had the option to date women with children in the past, but didn't. Usually, they want to introduce me to their children right away, which I thought was strange. Also, I can't really relate to them.

 

Height never crosses my mind.

 

As you said, we have different struggles.

 

I know a few girls shorter than me even with 5 less inches.

 

Should I send 'em your way?

 

If they're okay with short guys, then sure!

 

Are you serious?!

 

Yes.

[DukeNukem47]

To be fair, he's speaking from his experience. He has yet to experience what it's like to date when you're a single parent, or when you have a crazy ex spouse, or when you're competing with people 10 to 20 years younger than you.

 

True, I don't have any of these things. Ideally, my first marriage will be my last one.

 

Try dating as what is categorized as the least desirable race. I can't change my skin color. I've been brushed off by people online because of my race. And the whole Amazonian thing doesn't help. (No I do NOT play basketball.)

 

So yeah. All those kvetching about height makes me a little ill. But can I blame men for finding black women unattractive? No. It is what it is. I don't get angry with them, I don't rail at them, I don't blame them.

 

Personally, I find black women attractive and have dated them.

 

That's good that it doesn't make you angry. I guess you're a better person than I am. I'm okay with that.

 

Spare me the armchair psychoanalysis..

 

I cant believe I am even going to reply...Its like pissing into the wind.,.

 

 

I know plenty of guys taller than me..In fact, most of my friends are taller than me..Not that I ever would, but if I did bother to research it, I guarantee they didnt have more options than I had as far as women go....Period..

 

And the way you are making the argument, its as if a guy thats successful in life/dating/relationships/ etc was so purely because he had to compensate for his handicap in life..If thats the case, then congratulations...you just made the most ridiculous argument I have ever read on here....and thats saying a lot..

 

Never in my entire life has a woman said I was "too short"..Could I have been and they chose not to tell me? Sure..Who cares.? If I sat around and complained about it like you guys do, then I would be the worlds biggest hypocrite.. Maybe they were too heavy for me...Maybe they are batshyt crazy...maybe they were too dumb for me...See how this works?

 

Practically no one in this world "checks off all the boxes"...No one..Some guy may be tall and have a 2 inch dick...Some guy may be tall and cant hold down a job..Some guys are tall and have emotional problems...Some guy may be tall and just be an ugly doofus..I can go on forever...The way you guys talk. all you need to do is be 6'+ and the world will fall at your feet...Doesnt work that way...

 

I've never done a single thing in my life with the sole intent of being attractive to women..Never..I do plenty of positive stuff for myself, though...thats what suits me..No guy should put that much weight in that aspect anyway...Having a relationship with a woman is a wonderful and fulfilling part of a man's life, but its not all encompassing..

 

TFY

 

I've never had a woman straight out reject me for being too short. In most cases, I don't know why they rejected me. But, when they inevitably end up with tall men, it becomes obvious.

 

From what I've seen, men that are 6'0+ have it extremely easy in life (though still not nearly as easy as attractive women). They have no excuse for being a failure at anything.

[Got it]

True, I don't have any of these things. Ideally, my first marriage will be my last one.

 

 

 

Personally, I find black women attractive and have dated them.

 

That's good that it doesn't make you angry. I guess you're a better person than I am. I'm okay with that.

 

 

 

I've never had a woman straight out reject me for being too short. In most cases, I don't know why they rejected me. But, when they inevitably end up with tall men, it becomes obvious.

 

From what I've seen, men that are 6'0+ have it extremely easy in life (though still not nearly as easy as attractive women). They have no excuse for being a failure at anything.

 

Seriously? All one needs is height and life will be damn skippy? Come on, that is such a self pitying broad brush. We all have our trails and tribulations in life. It is very pompous of you to think yours trumps all others. It is so self indulging.

 

Especially since you have zero evidence of your height ACTUALLY posing an issue. Correlation is not causation.

 

Why haven't you asked women why they are ending things? Have you ever stayed friends with a woman after dating her? Do you have female friends? What do they tell you?

 

Height may be an issue prior to starting to date but most women won't waste their time dating someone and decide that height was just too much of an issue. Maybe one or two but most are pretty set on that. It is a lack of attraction, personality, sense of humor, sparks that is going to be the death knell.

[NJ123]

[/b]

 

Seriously? All one needs is height and life will be damn skippy? Come on, that is such a self pitying broad brush. We all have our trails and tribulations in life. It is very pompous of you to think yours trumps all others. It is so self indulging.

 

Especially since you have zero evidence of your height ACTUALLY posing an issue. Correlation is not causation.

 

Why haven't you asked women why they are ending things? Have you ever stayed friends with a woman after dating her? Do you have female friends? What do they tell you?

 

Height may be an issue prior to starting to date but most women won't waste their time dating someone and decide that height was just too much of an issue. Maybe one or two but most are pretty set on that. It is a lack of attraction, personality, sense of humor, sparks that is going to be the death knell.

 

I told him to stop worrying about this. I'm over it now after realizing how dumb it is to be pissed off over something we can't control. Just need the mindset of who cares? There will be a bunch of women that don't give a **** about it anyway even if we have less options.

[DukeNukem47]

[/b]

 

Seriously? All one needs is height and life will be damn skippy? Come on, that is such a self pitying broad brush. We all have our trails and tribulations in life. It is very pompous of you to think yours trumps all others. It is so self indulging.

 

I didn't say that my issue trumps all issues IN LIFE. I said that it trumps just about all issues in western DATING culture, which it does.

 

Especially since you have zero evidence of your height ACTUALLY posing an issue. Correlation is not causation.

 

Oh come on. At worst, my height is hurting me. At best, it's not helping me.

 

Why haven't you asked women why they are ending things? Have you ever stayed friends with a woman after dating her? Do you have female friends? What do they tell you?

 

Women generally don't end things with me. It's usually my decision to end things (or not ask them out at all). I have very rigid standards when it comes to what kinds of behavior I'm willing to tolerate from women.

 

Height may be an issue prior to starting to date but most women won't waste their time dating someone and decide that height was just too much of an issue. Maybe one or two but most are pretty set on that. It is a lack of attraction, personality, sense of humor, sparks that is going to be the death knell.

 

I only find the concept of "sparks" to exist on online dating forums. I've never heard of it mentioned IRL. If I don't see a girl again or a girl is mad at me, I usually know why...and it's rarely due to lack of sparks.

 

Usually, I made a mistake in the seduction (came on too strong, didn't go far enough....or, especially these days, am simply not that interested and conveyed that fact).

[Phoe]

This is such a weird concept to me.

 

Do the women who feel less safe with a shorter man not go out in public alone? If you are not safe when with a shorter man, then you are just as not safe if you're by yourself at the market, or out with your girl friend, or at lunch with your mother.

 

I feel safe because of myself. I am smart, aware of my surroundings, strong, resourceful. I do not feel like being out and about is a threat to my safety.

[DukeNukem47]

This is such a weird concept to me.

 

Do the women who feel less safe with a shorter man not go out in public alone? If you are not safe when with a shorter man, then you are just as not safe if you're by yourself at the market, or out with your girl friend, or at lunch with your mother.

 

I feel safe because of myself. I am smart, aware of my surroundings, strong, resourceful. I do not feel like being out and about is a threat to my safety.

 

I don't think that women are being honest when they say things like this. I think it's actually "My friend has one and it looks really good in movies so I want one too".

[NJ123]

This is such a weird concept to me.

 

Do the women who feel less safe with a shorter man not go out in public alone? If you are not safe when with a shorter man, then you are just as not safe if you're by yourself at the market, or out with your girl friend, or at lunch with your mother.

 

I feel safe because of myself. I am smart, aware of my surroundings, strong, resourceful. I do not feel like being out and about is a threat to my safety.

 

Yeah, I think it's just some psychological thing in some women that they'll feel "safe" with a tall man due to them being so much shorter.

[SolG]

I've started noticing height just for you NJ :-) There are seven guys in my immediate work area, and I would class all of them as tall. Yesterday I asked them their heights; 2 × 6'3", 2 × 6'2", 2 × 6', 1 × 5'11". As a work group, we're not entirely sure that the 14.6 (or was is 16.4) per cent thing holds true everywhere :-/

 

Because I find it interesting, I even discussed it with my therapist (6'3" btw). He said that there is actually a demographic/occupational skew with regard to height. Things like racial and genetic profile and early nutrition make a difference. Even certain occupations attract a larger proportion of tall men: obviously sport and modeling, but also politics and the military, etc, etc... I apparently work in such an industry.

 

By your theory I should be in woman Nirvana given that I interract with lots of tall men--a goodly proportion also not ugly by any means--all the time. But I'm not. Because attraction comprises so much more than just height.

[Ethan78]

He said that there is actually a demographic/occupational skew with regard to height. Things like racial and genetic profile and early nutrition make a difference.

 

Yes I eat weetabix at 6am and I am taller than any of the men in your workplace.

[NJ123]

I've started noticing height just for you NJ :-) There are seven guys in my immediate work area, and I would class all of them as tall. Yesterday I asked them their heights; 2 × 6'3", 2 × 6'2", 2 × 6', 1 × 5'11". As a work group, we're not entirely sure that the 14.6 (or was is 16.4) per cent thing holds true everywhere :-/

 

Because I find it interesting, I even discussed it with my therapist (6'3" btw). He said that there is actually a demographic/occupational skew with regard to height. Things like racial and genetic profile and early nutrition make a difference. Even certain occupations attract a larger proportion of tall men: obviously sport and modeling, but also politics and the military, etc, etc... I apparently work in such an industry.

 

By your theory I should be in woman Nirvana given that I interract with lots of tall men--a goodly proportion also not ugly by any means--all the time. But I'm not. Because attraction comprises so much more than just height.

 

Well, at the end of the day if we're being realistic the tall men will always have more options than a short man though even if you're not interested in those particular men. It is what it is though. I stopped complaining about it.

[autumnnight]

Upon deep reflection I have decided that the man I feel safest with is a man who actually likes and respects women.

[stillafool]

This is such a weird concept to me.

 

Do the women who feel less safe with a shorter man not go out in public alone? If you are not safe when with a shorter man, then you are just as not safe if you're by yourself at the market, or out with your girl friend, or at lunch with your mother.

 

I feel safe because of myself. I am smart, aware of my surroundings, strong, resourceful. I do not feel like being out and about is a threat to my safety.

 

I completely agree. I feel safe by myself. I don't understand this feeling of"safe" with taller men or any man for that matter unless I'm walking down a dark alley on the wrong side of town. Does the man have to be there always for them to feel safe.