what do you think?

[NopeNah]

this is comical to say the least. So... after reading my own posts and how polite im being and after saying that I was going to give her her space and leave her alone... im STILL being called crazy and told that I need help? LMAO.... you guys are a hilarious bunch. I really can't continue this anymore because you guys clearly have an agenda.

Not to say the least...It is straight comical!

[JerseyFresh]

Thank you for the 2 or 3 NICE posts above... and again... laughing at the rude ones because I haven't been rude in quite a few posts now even while being attacked.

 

 

I have almost completely left her alone since January 5th. I texted her ONE time on the 12th and she replied.... it wasn't a nice text, it was a sort of argument. but it was done and I've left her alone since then. So for as far as her knowledge goes... I've left her alone for 11 days basically.

 

 

Yes... I have driven by to see if hes there.... some nights he is... some nights he isn't. I'm not sure what the **** to tell you guys really about driving by.... it makes me feel better KNOWING.... when I DONT KNOW if hes there I lay in bed stressing over it.... when I DO see that hes there... im like ok **** it and I deal with it... and if hes not there... I sleep a little better.

 

 

but I guess i'm just a crazy psycho lunatic.

 

 

You guys CLEARLY don't really care to help people here (a great deal of you anyway) you just like to bash people who come here hurt and looking for answers. I GET that you're "giving me advice" but a lot of you aren't being very nice about it.

 

 

So I made her a video... so I drove by... begged.... got a little psycho... OK< I get it... I made some mistakes that could have or may have ruined my chances.... but to ****ing attack me calling me psycho and crazy when you've probably all done or WOULD have done the things I've done in the same situation is absurd.

 

 

You can look up peoples ****ing license plates and names online pretty ****ing simple.... if people DIDNT DO IT.... then it wouldn't be able to be done. Do I feel a bit "out of my mind" the last few weeks? YES... but im not psycho. I'd never hurt her or anyone else. I miss her and I miss her kids that I raised for almost 2 years after her divorce. And I know the kids miss me... and I know that she misses me too... she just convinced herself that this is the easier way and "made a decision" and stuck by it.

 

 

Whether you guys want to agree with that or not is fine but don't start bashing me and talking **** about me or her. Yes, im going to talk **** back if you do... which is WHY I've talked **** in my previous posts. If you guys were being understanding and nicer, I would be also....

 

 

If you don't like the video idea.... just say "hey man... I know it sounds great... but I don't think it will work and here's why" its pretty simple.... instead you guys are like "oh my god that's creepy. ewww don't do that youll push her away... you need mental help oh my god" chill the **** out dude.... seriously.

 

 

Yes... I looked up who this guy is..... if hes going to be around her and the kids.... i'd definitely like to make sure he wasn't a scumbag. Those kids are mine more or less. I've raised them since they were babies. I have DONE NOTHING besides look up who he is..... I haven't gone there again, I haven't confronted or threatened him, I haven't said a word to her about him.

 

 

And yet... you guys are mostly all attacking me. And i'm sure i'll get attacked again for this post even though I've been polite. No, im not insecure.... im only insecure because of the break up... that's a standard reaction. Any other time i'm cool calm and collected. Im not one of those men who has a problem admitting if they're upset or in love or depressed or whatever the ****.... I don't think its "unmanly"

[seminoles84]

Get on with it already.

[Simon Phoenix]

Thank you for the 2 or 3 NICE posts above... and again... laughing at the rude ones because I haven't been rude in quite a few posts now even while being attacked.

 

 

I have almost completely left her alone since January 5th. I texted her ONE time on the 12th and she replied.... it wasn't a nice text, it was a sort of argument. but it was done and I've left her alone since then. So for as far as her knowledge goes... I've left her alone for 11 days basically.

 

 

Yes... I have driven by to see if hes there.... some nights he is... some nights he isn't. I'm not sure what the **** to tell you guys really about driving by.... it makes me feel better KNOWING.... when I DONT KNOW if hes there I lay in bed stressing over it.... when I DO see that hes there... im like ok **** it and I deal with it... and if hes not there... I sleep a little better.

 

 

but I guess i'm just a crazy psycho lunatic.

 

 

You guys CLEARLY don't really care to help people here (a great deal of you anyway) you just like to bash people who come here hurt and looking for answers. I GET that you're "giving me advice" but a lot of you aren't being very nice about it.

 

 

So I made her a video... so I drove by... begged.... got a little psycho... OK< I get it... I made some mistakes that could have or may have ruined my chances.... but to ****ing attack me calling me psycho and crazy when you've probably all done or WOULD have done the things I've done in the same situation is absurd.

 

 

You can look up peoples ****ing license plates and names online pretty ****ing simple.... if people DIDNT DO IT.... then it wouldn't be able to be done. Do I feel a bit "out of my mind" the last few weeks? YES... but im not psycho. I'd never hurt her or anyone else. I miss her and I miss her kids that I raised for almost 2 years after her divorce. And I know the kids miss me... and I know that she misses me too... she just convinced herself that this is the easier way and "made a decision" and stuck by it.

 

 

Whether you guys want to agree with that or not is fine but don't start bashing me and talking **** about me or her. Yes, im going to talk **** back if you do... which is WHY I've talked **** in my previous posts. If you guys were being understanding and nicer, I would be also....

 

 

If you don't like the video idea.... just say "hey man... I know it sounds great... but I don't think it will work and here's why" its pretty simple.... instead you guys are like "oh my god that's creepy. ewww don't do that youll push her away... you need mental help oh my god" chill the **** out dude.... seriously.

 

 

Yes... I looked up who this guy is..... if hes going to be around her and the kids.... i'd definitely like to make sure he wasn't a scumbag. Those kids are mine more or less. I've raised them since they were babies. I have DONE NOTHING besides look up who he is..... I haven't gone there again, I haven't confronted or threatened him, I haven't said a word to her about him.

 

 

And yet... you guys are mostly all attacking me. And i'm sure i'll get attacked again for this post even though I've been polite. No, im not insecure.... im only insecure because of the break up... that's a standard reaction. Any other time i'm cool calm and collected. Im not one of those men who has a problem admitting if they're upset or in love or depressed or whatever the ****.... I don't think its "unmanly"

 

You aren't looking for honest answers. If you were, you wouldn't fly off the handle every time you get answers. And I'm sorry if the answers are blunt, harsh, and don't come with a pretty pink bow on top, but there's a reason for that. Driving by her house is not the least bit cool, neither is doing a background check on the guy. Yes, those sites exist for landlords and employers to check records of applicants, they aren't for ex-boyfriends looking to scheme and plot to overthrow or frame the men their ex-girlfriends are dating.

 

Now, maybe in normal situations you are a normal, laid-back guy -- you probably are. But in this situation you are acting the fool in extreme ways, from what you are doing, to what you having been planning to do, to how you are acting when people give you advice. You are conducting yourself horribly right now and not giving off a very good representation of yourself or your motives. And please stop using the "well, I'm sure you all have done these crazy things, so it's OK for me to" argument. Many people on this site have done crazy things -- WHICH IS WHY THEY ARE ADVISING YOU NOT TOO BECAUSE THEY REALIZE THEY WERE CRAZY. Just because someone else smoked crack once doesn't mean you should. We aren't doing you a service by blowing smoke up your ass -- if your approach really f--king sucks, we're going to tell you it really f--king sucks. You can choose to whine and cry about it, but it doesn't change the fact that what you are doing and want to do is completely counterproductive in every way.

 

Either way, the across the board suggestion which hits on all of your manic impulses is R-E-L-A-X. Step back, take a breath, decompress, and stop going all bats--t. These situations are hard, but taking your stance makes them unnecessarily harder.

Edited January 16, 2015 by Simon Phoenix

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Thank you for the 2 or 3 NICE posts above... and again... laughing at the rude ones because I haven't been rude in quite a few posts now even while being attacked.

 

 

I have almost completely left her alone since January 5th. I texted her ONE time on the 12th and she replied.... it wasn't a nice text, it was a sort of argument. but it was done and I've left her alone since then. So for as far as her knowledge goes... I've left her alone for 11 days basically.

 

 

Yes... I have driven by to see if hes there.... some nights he is... some nights he isn't. I'm not sure what the **** to tell you guys really about driving by.... it makes me feel better KNOWING.... when I DONT KNOW if hes there I lay in bed stressing over it.... when I DO see that hes there... im like ok **** it and I deal with it... and if hes not there... I sleep a little better.

 

 

but I guess i'm just a crazy psycho lunatic.

 

 

You guys CLEARLY don't really care to help people here (a great deal of you anyway) you just like to bash people who come here hurt and looking for answers. I GET that you're "giving me advice" but a lot of you aren't being very nice about it.

 

 

So I made her a video... so I drove by... begged.... got a little psycho... OK< I get it... I made some mistakes that could have or may have ruined my chances.... but to ****ing attack me calling me psycho and crazy when you've probably all done or WOULD have done the things I've done in the same situation is absurd.

 

 

You can look up peoples ****ing license plates and names online pretty ****ing simple.... if people DIDNT DO IT.... then it wouldn't be able to be done. Do I feel a bit "out of my mind" the last few weeks? YES... but im not psycho. I'd never hurt her or anyone else. I miss her and I miss her kids that I raised for almost 2 years after her divorce. And I know the kids miss me... and I know that she misses me too... she just convinced herself that this is the easier way and "made a decision" and stuck by it.

 

 

Whether you guys want to agree with that or not is fine but don't start bashing me and talking **** about me or her. Yes, im going to talk **** back if you do... which is WHY I've talked **** in my previous posts. If you guys were being understanding and nicer, I would be also....

 

 

If you don't like the video idea.... just say "hey man... I know it sounds great... but I don't think it will work and here's why" its pretty simple.... instead you guys are like "oh my god that's creepy. ewww don't do that youll push her away... you need mental help oh my god" chill the **** out dude.... seriously.

 

 

Yes... I looked up who this guy is..... if hes going to be around her and the kids.... i'd definitely like to make sure he wasn't a scumbag. Those kids are mine more or less. I've raised them since they were babies. I have DONE NOTHING besides look up who he is..... I haven't gone there again, I haven't confronted or threatened him, I haven't said a word to her about him.

 

 

And yet... you guys are mostly all attacking me. And i'm sure i'll get attacked again for this post even though I've been polite. No, im not insecure.... im only insecure because of the break up... that's a standard reaction. Any other time i'm cool calm and collected. Im not one of those men who has a problem admitting if they're upset or in love or depressed or whatever the ****.... I don't think its "unmanly"

 

I get what youre saying... but you came for advice. Weve been giving it to you. None of us are going to sugar coat it or give it to you easy. Thats the point of advice.

 

We are not calling you insane for your past mistakes. We are calling you that because we've all told you not to do it anymore (video, drive by, etc) with several reasons why and you keep telling us we are wrong, we don't know her/you, and how weve never been in love etc. So I don't know what else you want us to do. If you dont like how we answer them, there are other places to go. Might I suggest therapy? And I'm being serious. You display a lot of traits that therapy can definitely help. Im not saying that negative because it isnt. Taking about this will help out and help you discover yourself better.

 

You seem to be warping stuff around to fit arguments. BASICALLY its been ten days since ive talked to her or there are more or less mine.....no you talked to her four days ago and the kids are not yours. Be honest with yourself. You cant do anything. Dont talk to her. She cant miss you if you're there. She might say she misses you. Ive had many ex's say that, but it doesnt really mean they want you back either.

 

Did you send the video yet? Im being serious.

Edited January 16, 2015 by ConfusedHumanBeing

[Chi townD]

Yeah, dude. Do what you want. I'm just in a recliner with a tub of popcorn waiting for you to put all of these things you've talked about and are SURE they're going to work into play.

 

 

Actually, I'm looking forward to what's going to happen. Hopefully, it's all going to work out the way you've planned it in your head and I KNOW you'll be back here telling us all how wrong we were and rubbing our noses in it.

 

 

So, what are you waiting for?

[JerseyFresh]

No, I have not given her the video yet. It's not completely done. I was thinking of giving it to her next week and apologizing for how I've acted the last few weeks. and then telling her that i'd leave her alone now. Then saying that I had made this video before all this happened and I'd rather just give it to her than have put the work in for nothing, but that I no longer have false hopes of it doing anything.

 

 

I was going to drop a birthday present off for her older son also.... I think shed appreciate that since we were so close until 4 weeks ago....

 

 

Now... DONT ****ING FLIP OUT AND TELL ME IM CRAZY.... TALK TO ME.... look at what I said... and then give me your opinion without calling me names or telling me im crazy or whatever the ****. its annoying the way some of you reply.

[frigginlost]

No, I have not given her the video yet. It's not completely done. I was thinking of giving it to her next week and apologizing for how I've acted the last few weeks. and then telling her that i'd leave her alone now. Then saying that I had made this video before all this happened and I'd rather just give it to her than have put the work in for nothing, but that I no longer have false hopes of it doing anything.

 

 

I was going to drop a birthday present off for her older son also.... I think shed appreciate that since we were so close until 4 weeks ago....

 

 

Now... DONT ****ING FLIP OUT AND TELL ME IM CRAZY.... TALK TO ME.... look at what I said... and then give me your opinion without calling me names or telling me im crazy or whatever the ****. its annoying the way some of you reply.

 

The very first sentence of the very first reply to you in this entire thread:

 

"The only PROACTIVE thing you can do is go NC"

[Chi townD]

This is an advice forum and not the law. You're free to do what you want to do. If you don't want to take the advice, you don't have to. I gave you my opinion and you don't agree with it. That's your right.

 

 

Personally, I don't think it's going to work. But, give it a try! But, don't be surprised that you don't get the results you want. And you'll probably ask yourself why it didn't work.

[Ducktape]

No, I have not given her the video yet. It's not completely done. I was thinking of giving it to her next week and apologizing for how I've acted the last few weeks. and then telling her that i'd leave her alone now. Then saying that I had made this video before all this happened and I'd rather just give it to her than have put the work in for nothing, but that I no longer have false hopes of it doing anything.

 

 

I was going to drop a birthday present off for her older son also.... I think shed appreciate that since we were so close until 4 weeks ago....

 

 

Now... DONT ****ING FLIP OUT AND TELL ME IM CRAZY.... TALK TO ME.... look at what I said... and then give me your opinion without calling me names or telling me im crazy or whatever the ****. its annoying the way some of you reply.

Listen Fabio, the thing is, even tho you are telling her that, it isn't the truth. You are still expecting something out of that video. A reaction. She'll know you'll be playing games, nobody make a video and then give it to an ex just for old time's sakes. She'll pick up on that and that won't help you. Nor will giving a present to her oldest son. She made the decision to not have you in her life anymore, you gotta respect that. Good luck!

[Simon Phoenix]

No, I have not given her the video yet. It's not completely done. I was thinking of giving it to her next week and apologizing for how I've acted the last few weeks. and then telling her that i'd leave her alone now. Then saying that I had made this video before all this happened and I'd rather just give it to her than have put the work in for nothing, but that I no longer have false hopes of it doing anything.

 

 

I was going to drop a birthday present off for her older son also.... I think shed appreciate that since we were so close until 4 weeks ago....

 

 

Now... DONT ****ING FLIP OUT AND TELL ME IM CRAZY.... TALK TO ME.... look at what I said... and then give me your opinion without calling me names or telling me im crazy or whatever the ****. its annoying the way some of you reply.

 

My opinion of it is the same as it's always been -- it's a very bad idea and comes off as pushy and manipulative. You'd be better served to let 17 years of interaction marinate on their own then trying something like this, which tends to come off as panicky and transparent no matter if it's filmed by Spielberg or it's five minutes of you begging into a GoPro. And you should get the kid a present because the kid would like it, not to score points with his mom. That's more manipulation and a sign that your heart is not in the right place.

 

That being said, you seem driven to do this no matter what, so best of luck.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

No, I have not given her the video yet. It's not completely done. I was thinking of giving it to her next week and apologizing for how I've acted the last few weeks. and then telling her that i'd leave her alone now. Then saying that I had made this video before all this happened and I'd rather just give it to her than have put the work in for nothing, but that I no longer have false hopes of it doing anything.

 

 

I was going to drop a birthday present off for her older son also.... I think shed appreciate that since we were so close until 4 weeks ago....

 

 

Now... DONT ****ING FLIP OUT AND TELL ME IM CRAZY.... TALK TO ME.... look at what I said... and then give me your opinion without calling me names or telling me im crazy or whatever the ****. its annoying the way some of you reply.

 

I still know that its going to be a bad idea to send that video. I know you probably worked hard on it and still are.....but Im almost positive it wont get ANY sort of reaction you're hoping for. Im going with a couple different ways:

 

1. She gets it, watches it and does nothing---no response.

2. She gets it, has a good laugh at you expense then--no response

3. She gets it, gets mad/upset/freaked out--bad response

4. She gets it, boyfriend gets mad causes drama--bad response

5. She gets it, thanks you for it and says it's sweet, but she doesnt break up with guy and pushes you much farther away in your mind and gets more cold--bad response

6. She gets it, swept off her feet, drops her boyfriend for no reason gets back with you.

 

I think 6 is unlikely and I think you know that too. At least I hope.

 

Your best bet is still to sit on it, quit talking to her fully. No text, calls, drive by's, visits, nothing. Drop off the face of the earth. You can heal from it AND if there is ANY chance which is still slim, thats the only way.

[JerseyFresh]

So.... i'm not sure how to take this. Im sure it just "is what it is" but it felt sort of odd.

 

 

She texted me out of nowhere like an hour ago. The place we lived together had a gym. and there is this card that beeps to get you in. Anyway, I still use the gym (with her permission)

 

 

Anyway.... after not talking for a week she just texted me and said

 

 

"i want the key to the gym back please"

 

 

I replied "why the attitude, ive left you alone, no need to be mean"

 

 

then she said "just forget it. keep it. I don't care. when I move ill get it back"

 

 

then I said "I've left you alone... I use the gym every day with your prior permission and I haven't bothered you one bit, no need to be mean"

 

 

she said "its fine. you're right. thank you for that. ill just get the key when I move out of here"

 

 

then I replied "ok... DO you mind if I use the gym? if you want the key ill drop it in the mailbox now"

 

 

then she AGAIN said "its fine. like I said ill get it back when I move"

 

 

 

 

When we first broke up she was talking all the "moving" **** and i'd BEG and plead and offer to help her with money to stay there. And so.... I feel like she KEPT saying it hoping that I'd beg.

 

 

but I didn't.

 

 

So.... there was NO reason for her to text me out of nowhere.... at this time... why? And I had posted a picture of me in the gym yesterday... maybe she looked on my instagram and saw it? in which case... shes stalking my instagram which means she gives a ****....

 

 

OR... she could just want the ****ing key lol I know... but whats you guys opinions here? I wanted so ****ing bad to drive over there after that and drop the key off JUST to see her for a minute. but I didn't.

[Simon Phoenix]

Unless you two use the same key, you shouldn't have responded at all. If you do use the same key, maybe she just wants the key. Need to know that first and foremost.

 

If she has her own key, and you have yours, and you don't run into each other there, then there's nothing to talk about. You shouldn't have responded at all and you shouldn't have made a thing out of it. That was too dramatic a conversation for a gym key, and the blame for that drama resides in both of you. Next time, let it go.

 

And just because they might (emphasis on might) pay attention to you on social media does not mean they want you back or are even thinking on that level. It doesn't really even mean they give a s--t. It could be natural curiousity.

 

Either way, if you two are sharing the key, then go drop it off at a time you know she won't be there in an envelope. If you have separate keys, ignore it.

[JerseyFresh]

Unless you two use the same key, you shouldn't have responded at all. If you do use the same key, maybe she just wants the key. Need to know that first and foremost.

 

If she has her own key, and you have yours, and you don't run into each other there, then there's nothing to talk about. You shouldn't have responded at all and you shouldn't have made a thing out of it. That was too dramatic a conversation for a gym key, and the blame for that drama resides in both of you. Next time, let it go.

 

And just because they might (emphasis on might) pay attention to you on social media does not mean they want you back or are even thinking on that level. It doesn't really even mean they give a s--t. It could be natural curiousity.

 

Either way, if you two are sharing the key, then go drop it off at a time you know she won't be there in an envelope. If you have separate keys, ignore it.

 

yeah we use separate keys. we each have one. I don't even know what would make her remember that I still had one. she WORKS at a gym so she doesn't even use the one at the development. Only thing I can think of is she looked at my page. I know she was with him all day today.... and honestly it was pure luck because someone saw them and texted me. but anyway... I just don't get why shed text me out of nowhere for no ****ing reason. she doesn't need the key.

[Ducktape]

The way I understand it, the key is linked to the apartment, yes? And you don't live there anymore, yes?

 

She's just trying to close loose ends, getting back her things before it gets too awkward asking for them back. It's easier to ask for it now that it's still fresh and you're still pinning for her, rather than in 1 year when she's ready to move out to another place, and you're in another city, hanging out with Hulk Hogan and Terry Crews high fiving each other when you synchronized your chest bumps to perfection.

[Simon Phoenix]

yeah we use separate keys. we each have one. I don't even know what would make her remember that I still had one. she WORKS at a gym so she doesn't even use the one at the development. Only thing I can think of is she looked at my page. I know she was with him all day today.... and honestly it was pure luck because someone saw them and texted me. but anyway... I just don't get why shed text me out of nowhere for no ****ing reason. she doesn't need the key.

 

Who knows. Maybe she discovered you driving by, maybe she heard you were at the gym from someone else, maybe she saw it on social media, could be a million reasons. None of them were worthy of discussion though. Next time don't bite on that bait -- let it slide. Or just join a new gym and send her the key back unannounced with no discussion.

[tojaz]

Hey Jersey I know the video sounds great... but I don't think it will work and here's why.

 

Because from her perspective right now, it's not going to mean the same as it does to you. Just like I'd guess that a sad song you've heard a hundred times probably hit's you a little harder these days. Being a sensitive guy who seems to be in touch with his emotions, I'm betting you can get that. When your in love, every love song seems like it's about the two of you, every romantic poem means more, flowers smell sweeter, and every cloud looks like a heart. That doesn't translate to her right now, that's just not the frequency she's receiving from you right now. That doesn't mean you won't get your chance, and if you do then you will have this video in your hip pocket at a time when she's programmed to receive.

 

I know it doesn't seem like it, but there are a lot of people posting here that are trying to help, and a lot of them are people who have been where you are now, even if they might not remember how rough it was or what it felt like back then, I believe they honestly want to do the best for you, that's why the majority of the people here take the time to post advice. Look at the post counts next to the names, look at the join dates. Look at mine, because in 2009 I was writing posts that sounded a lot like yours, when I was in the thick of it, I was sure that at any moment I was just one letter or one old photograph away from winning her back... I wasn't, but I knew it felt a lot better to think I was doing something proactive because doing nothing drove me a little crazy.... ok a lot crazy. In reality I was just sabotaging myself.

 

There's a reason people on this forum always suggest that you work on you, it's because it's the only thing you really have any control over in these situations. Make the most of it! Hitting the gym is awesome, and congrats on the new career prospects. What else is there to be worked on though? I know I've been wondering about that 75% you say you brought to the break up and what you've learned from that.

 

That's always been the key to these things, it's not about stacking the deck to get her back, it's how to be the person she (or the next one) isn't going to let out of her grasp the next time around. The rest will work itself out.

 

TOJAZ

[JerseyFresh]

Hey Jersey I know the video sounds great... but I don't think it will work and here's why.

 

Because from her perspective right now, it's not going to mean the same as it does to you. Just like I'd guess that a sad song you've heard a hundred times probably hit's you a little harder these days. Being a sensitive guy who seems to be in touch with his emotions, I'm betting you can get that. When your in love, every love song seems like it's about the two of you, every romantic poem means more, flowers smell sweeter, and every cloud looks like a heart. That doesn't translate to her right now, that's just not the frequency she's receiving from you right now. That doesn't mean you won't get your chance, and if you do then you will have this video in your hip pocket at a time when she's programmed to receive.

 

I know it doesn't seem like it, but there are a lot of people posting here that are trying to help, and a lot of them are people who have been where you are now, even if they might not remember how rough it was or what it felt like back then, I believe they honestly want to do the best for you, that's why the majority of the people here take the time to post advice. Look at the post counts next to the names, look at the join dates. Look at mine, because in 2009 I was writing posts that sounded a lot like yours, when I was in the thick of it, I was sure that at any moment I was just one letter or one old photograph away from winning her back... I wasn't, but I knew it felt a lot better to think I was doing something proactive because doing nothing drove me a little crazy.... ok a lot crazy. In reality I was just sabotaging myself.

 

There's a reason people on this forum always suggest that you work on you, it's because it's the only thing you really have any control over in these situations. Make the most of it! Hitting the gym is awesome, and congrats on the new career prospects. What else is there to be worked on though? I know I've been wondering about that 75% you say you brought to the break up and what you've learned from that.

 

That's always been the key to these things, it's not about stacking the deck to get her back, it's how to be the person she (or the next one) isn't going to let out of her grasp the next time around. The rest will work itself out.

 

TOJAZ

 

 

 

thank you.... honestly. that was the nicest post yet that gave me advice without calling me a psycho. I appreciate it greatly. and yes... I feel like every song I hear was written about us. How sad is it that her texting me made my night.... even if it was just to ask for the key back... to know that she had to think about me for even one second put a smile on my face.

 

 

I told my mom what she said about asking for the key then changing her mind.... after my mom called her a "****ing bitch" she said "you know that was just her way of seeing what your reaction would be... to see if you'd bite and start asking her questions" thankfully I didn't. I think I handled it DECENT... sure I could have done better probably but seeing how I feel.... being short and ending it was hard for me.

 

 

I'm still in a pretty good mood even though I'm sitting home alone on a Friday night. If I had money to bet... shes probably out with him... I don't know lol. but I feel at least somewhat decent that she texted me.

[Chi townD]

She may have saw the instagram pic and freaked out knowing that you're still a little too close to her. She may have thought that, "Man, if he was here, he could have saw me and the OM together and could have caused a scene."

 

 

Could have been one of a thousand things. She might want her new man to have that key. You never know.

[JerseyFresh]

She may have saw the instagram pic and freaked out knowing that you're still a little too close to her. She may have thought that, "Man, if he was here, he could have saw me and the OM together and could have caused a scene."

 

 

Could have been one of a thousand things. She might want her new man to have that key. You never know.

 

nah, he works out at the same gym she does. AND, after we broke up she told me I could keep using the gym... she even said it to me a few weeks ago. So she knows I've been going there. As for "causing a scene" she knows that I know hes there every night and I haven't caused a scene.... the "old me" would kick his teeth through the back of his head and smile at her as I do it....

 

 

but I'm not like that anymore and I've kept my cool... even the first night I saw him I didn't even raise my voice.... I was just like "wow really.... just so you know I was rubbing her back 2 nights ago watching dirty dancing" so... that was the extent of my "psychoness"

 

 

I'm JUST replying to your statement. NOT being confrontational... feel free to reply lol

[ilovedmike]

She probably texted for the key just to feel you out to see where your head was at but then when she noticed your (phony) nonchalance she got an attitude because she didn't get a response she expected or hope for.

 

Perhaps she is checking to see if her lapdog is still available "just in case"..

 

On the other hand maybe she lost the key or she just texted you coz she wanted to hear from you. Maybe she's shocked you've left her alone. Next time, (if there is one) --Do NOT make note that youve left her alone because that indicates you left her alone as a tactic & have been acutely awware of leaving her alone to a point where it sounds like a "plan" instead of natural reasons.

[JerseyFresh]

She probably texted for the key just to feel you out to see where your head was at but then when she noticed your (phony) nonchalance she got an attitude because she didn't get a response she expected or hope for.

 

Perhaps she is checking to see if her lapdog is still available "just in case"..

 

On the other hand maybe she lost the key or she just texted you coz she wanted to hear from you. Maybe she's shocked you've left her alone. Next time, (if there is one) --Do NOT make note that youve left her alone because that indicates you left her alone as a tactic & have been acutely awware of leaving her alone to a point where it sounds like a "plan" instead of natural reasons.

 

 

 

I like it, I like it. thank you!

[bigtrouble]

nah, he works out at the same gym she does. AND, after we broke up she told me I could keep using the gym... she even said it to me a few weeks ago. So she knows I've been going there. As for "causing a scene" she knows that I know hes there every night and I haven't caused a scene.... the "old me" would kick his teeth through the back of his head and smile at her as I do it....

 

 

but I'm not like that anymore and I've kept my cool... even the first night I saw him I didn't even raise my voice.... I was just like "wow really.... just so you know I was rubbing her back 2 nights ago watching dirty dancing" so... that was the extent of my "psychoness"

 

 

I'm JUST replying to your statement. NOT being confrontational... feel free to reply lol

 

You see your situation better than we do, our posts are only advice, based on what we've been through, in the end you still need to do what you think is best for you.

[Ducktape]

in the end you still need to do what you think is best for you.

One year ago I fell and my foot hit a metal beam. I did what I thought was best for me and for the pain to go away and I walked it off. After one week of walking it off, I went to the hospital.

 

Turns out I had a calcaneus fracture and tore my plantar fascia. Had to use crutches for 4 months afterwards.