clamdiggerwtf Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 My friend is also saying I'm overcomplicating this. I could get her to say "I know someone who likes you..." and hint at who it is, but I doubt that'd be a good idea. I think getting a messenger screen name is the best thing I could do right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Originally posted by clamdiggerwtf My friend is also saying I'm overcomplicating this. You ARE overcomplicating this, my young friend! I could get her to say "I know someone who likes you..." and hint at who it is, but I doubt that'd be a good idea. This would not be a bad idea. Why do you doubt this would be a good idea? I think getting a messenger screen name is the best thing I could do right now. This is a good idea. As you have said, you are a lot less nervous when you talk to her that way. Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Yeah, I'm a lot less nervous, but I really couldn't advance myself. I don't know how I'd go about asking for a phone number while talking on a messenger. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Originally posted by clamdiggerwtf Yeah, I'm a lot less nervous, but I really couldn't advance myself. I don't know how I'd go about asking for a phone number while talking on a messenger. How about. "BTW, mind if I call you sometime?" Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 10, 2005 Share Posted April 10, 2005 Originally posted by HoldOn How about. "BTW, mind if I call you sometime?" I agree with HoldOn!! You are overcomplicating things! Talking on a messenger is much like talking, only difference being that you lose body language and tone. (Just like in a forum.) But you can replace these to some degree with emoticons. (Just like in a forum.) So, ways to ask her for your number on Instant Messenger: As HoldOn said, "BTW, mind if I call you sometime?" OR "Hey, could I give you a call sometime?" OR "BTW, may I have your number?" OR "You know, I don't think I have ur number. May I have it?" OR "Hey I know your parents are strict but I would really like to call you sometime after school, when would be a good time to call? Right after dinnertime? About 7 o'clock? Great, then just give me your number and I'll call you this week around that time. Thanks!" OR "Hey you know sometimes I have trouble in that one class we have together, can I call you sometime for help with homework?" OR... OR... OR... The list goes on and on, Dude, take your pick. Whatever fits with your mood and the topic of your conversation at that moment. JUST DO IT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 I'm trying to think of excuses not to do this, but now I'm out. I guess I have no choice but to go for it. Thanks for your help... again. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by clamdiggerwtf I'm trying to think of excuses not to do this, but now I'm out. I guess I have no choice but to go for it. Thanks for your help... again. Anytime. I'm happy that you are finally out of excuses!! Link to post Share on other sites
TGC Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 These guys have got the right idea. From personal experience (explained in my other post as Anon27), the only thing that will hold you back is confidence. As for the instant messenger situation... I talked to this girl for ages on MSN, we had conversations that lasted well into the night, and I didnt have to constantly try and think of something to say, it just flowed. When it got to real-life talking, however, I couldnt think of anything to say and the conversation was mainly one-way (shes a very outgoing girl). We have been really good friends for a while now and havnt talked as much on the internet, and talking in real-life has become a lot easier. I think it was because I used up all of the easy conversation starters on the internet, such as "what's on at the weekend?", "what did you get up to last night?" etc. Go for it mate. I've been in the same situation as you many times before, and I can't help hating myself for not being more confident. You can do this. She obviously really likes you, and even if it isnt in a "love" way, she definitly values you as a close friend. Believe me, if you tell her you really like her, she won't take it as an insult. If the feeling isn't mutual, you will just continue the same way you did before, and you will become a lot more confident around her, trust me. Just go for it mate, and remember if anything goes wrong, it's not the end of the world. TGC Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 I wish I had known back when I was in high school how nervous guys can be. Back then, I thought most guys were too cool to be nervous, and it was just us girls who were afraid. Kind nice to know how wrong I was. Link to post Share on other sites
TGC Posted April 11, 2005 Share Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by Tamed Wildflower I wish I had known back when I was in high school how nervous guys can be. Back then, I thought most guys were too cool to be nervous, and it was just us girls who were afraid. Kind nice to know how wrong I was. The guys only after sex are the ones too cool to be nervous. Ones with really strong feelings for someone like me and clamdigger are jibbering wrecks. TGC Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Wow... I think she likes me. She was told I liked her today, which was completely unexpected, especially since I stumbled into class barely awake. She came and sat down beside me, which I didn't notice until she scared me horribly by hitting the desk. We were having to watch some movie in class, and she had her head down, but I swear she kept looking up at me sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by clamdiggerwtf Wow... I think she likes me. She was told I liked her today, which was completely unexpected, especially since I stumbled into class barely awake. She came and sat down beside me, which I didn't notice until she scared me horribly by hitting the desk. We were having to watch some movie in class, and she had her head down, but I swear she kept looking up at me sometimes. We told you so!!! Congratulations, Clamdigger!! Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 OK.... so did you get her number, lover boy? Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Nah, she can't talk on the phone... She's grounded... she always is... She has a computer, but hasn't got any sort of internet connection yet, so I can't talk to her through that, of course. If she wants to talk to me, I'll probably be talking to her all morning tommorrow... Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Can you hang out with her outside of school, or is she grounded from hanging out with friends too? Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by clamdiggerwtf Nah, she can't talk on the phone... She's grounded... she always is... She has a computer, but hasn't got any sort of internet connection yet, so I can't talk to her through that, of course. If she wants to talk to me, I'll probably be talking to her all morning tommorrow... Jeez!! She's always grounded!! What's she in for? Murder? Treason? What unforgivable misdeed has this 15-year-old committed??? Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Like I said, she has strict parents. She doesn't really do anything bad, to tell the truth. Probably grades, cause she (and I) is failing algebra. I'll hopefully figure something out. I gotta hurry up with this... I only have about six weeks of school left. Link to post Share on other sites
TGC Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Well she definitly likes you then. Only 6 weeks of school left? Can you not see each other at all during the holidays? Surely they can't ground her for the WHOLE summer? Now you know she likes you, just make sure you don't get nervous around her. She likes you for who you are so just be whoever that is. TGC Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Maybe you two should spend more time studying than flirting with each other during class! Then, she wouldn't be grounded all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by clamdiggerwtf Like I said, she has strict parents. She doesn't really do anything bad, to tell the truth. Probably grades, cause she (and I) is failing algebra. I'll hopefully figure something out. I gotta hurry up with this... I only have about six weeks of school left. Clamdigger!! Why did you not think of this before? Form a study group, you silly boy!! You can make it just the two of you, but that might not help your grades much. Make it the two of you, and one or two other people who are doing much better in the class, then have study sessions. Her parents wouldn't object to that!! Grounded for life just because her parents are strict-- that's what I call over-protective parenting, far more damaging to teenagers than anything that the parents might be afraid of! But that's a debate for another thread... Only six weeks left, that's enough time, you just gotta make sure that you get to be buddies with her, and then I bet she would love to hang out with you over the summer. Hey here's an important question: What would her parents allow her to do? When you do ask her out, where would her parents allow her to go? Are they the type that would take the two of you to the movies and then sit 5 rows behind you? Would they ever allow the two of you to be in their house together alone after school? To talk on the phone in the evening? To come over to each other's houses when the parents are there? To go to a school dance together? Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 I don't know exactly HOW strict they are, but I know for a fact they are strict. Today didn't go so well. She said something to me this morning joking around, and I responded, and laughed. We didn't talk anymore through the day. Why is this bad? I should be talking to her, but I can't approach her! My friend also thinks she likes me, and she followed me around yesterday! Why can't I just say something to her? I probably seem rude now, she may think I'm trying to ignore her... I have to say something tommorrow. I don't think I don't talk to her now from fear of rejection, but out of fear of saying something at the wrong time, or being annoying... This is stupid, someone is making it fairly clear to me that they like me, and I do this... Any ideas to get over it? I'm sure things would go a lot better if I could just manage to get out a "Hi" before she says it to me... Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 How odd... My friend just said that the girl loved me to death, but wasn't sure if she'd wanna date me or not. Oh well, at least now I know. Maybe I'm just to quiet and shy for her? Well, I won't bother her over it now. She never came out and said she didn't like me, but I should probably take it like that. Sorry to all of you for wasting your time. Thanks for trying to help though. *sigh* Finally, I can think normally again. Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 You guys know what sucks about this? I think she DID like me. I believe yesterday when she came and sat beside me, she wanted me to talk to her, but I wouldn't. She was messaging me all morning getting me to talk, then she came and sat beside me. I didn't say a thing to her, and I think I screwed it up. She continued to follow me for a little more of the day, too. I should have talked more... At least I didn't lose a friend, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Originally posted by clamdiggerwtf How odd... My friend just said that the girl loved me to death, but wasn't sure if she'd wanna date me or not. Oh well, at least now I know. Maybe I'm just to quiet and shy for her? Well, I won't bother her over it now. She never came out and said she didn't like me, but I should probably take it like that. Sorry to all of you for wasting your time. Thanks for trying to help though. *sigh* Finally, I can think normally again. I tend to think you are too quick to assume the worst here. You said it yourself, she loves you to death, but isn't sure if she wants to date you or not. SHE ISN'T SURE YET. This doesn't mean that she doesn't want to date you. As I have said several times in other threads, for a lot of women and girls (much more so than for guys), whether or not a female is attracted to someone is based partly on the vibe that the two people have between them. She could be just kind of waiting to see whether or not a feeling of attraction developed in her toward you. But I am really glad that you can "think normally again", without being so nervous, because the best thing that you can do to increase the possibility that she might develop an attraction to you is to be at ease around her, comfortable around her, to be yourself. It's possible that it was your nervousness that was making her feel like the situation was too awkward between you for her to imagine feeling the ease and comfort of a relationship with you. Ironically, now that you feel normal again, she may decide she wants to date you!! So don't despair, and don't think you were ever bothering her. For now, don't worry about whether or not she likes you. Just relax and let a friendship develop over the next 6 weeks. If you sense that the two of you have grown comfortable with each other, that a fondness has developed between you, then ask her if she'd like to hang out with you after school, or over the summer. Does this sound like it makes sense? How do you feel about it? Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Yeah, but she's acted as if she's liked me for so long now, I'm confused now. Today she was making a point to say "hi" everytime I saw her. Thats not odd or anything, but she's doing it more than she used to... Maybe I can talk to her easily now that this is over... maybe it will be harder, I don't know. It seems like she's making a point to get me to notice her... I don't know... maybe she's trying to get me to talk more, or something? Maybe thats why she doesn't know if she likes me? I want to talk to her more, and at least get some sort of IM screen name or something so I can talk to her over the summer, regardless of it just being as friends or not. She knows I like her... she made what you people, and my friend claim as clear signs she likes me, but she doesn't wanna date me? Maybe she wants to hear me say I like her or something? This is so confusing. I'd try to do what you said, but if things go as they have for the past few months, we won't grow any closer. I only really get conversation started up with her once every week or so... I was just trying to forget it, but then she specifically comes up to me in first period, and starts talking to me randomly. She didn't follow me today, but she was telling me "hi" at the most random times. Turns out that I couldn't forget it that easily... I still like her, but I don't wanna try anything now, especially since she already knows I like her... Don't need to make her uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
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