HoldOn Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 What is she interested in? Is she in any clubs? Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Clubs? No. What is she interested in? She's basically the average teenage girl. She likes funny things, and she plays guitar (somewhat). Our musical tastes are different, but not many people share mine (Dream Theater, Metallica, Tool, Megadeth...), and she has the typical mainstream taste. She would be one of the popular "preppy" types, but she has too nice of a personality, and most guys at my age are also after a huge chest. Not to say she looks bad (she doesn't), but thats not really why I like her... Basically she's just a very talkative girl, with common teenage interests. The few times I have started talking to her, she gladly kept the conversation, but I still can't just start talking. When I've been around her, I've found that we laugh at the same things a lot. I know she likes computers somewhat, but I'm sure its not nearly as much as me. When I told her I built my computer, her responce was "Really? I wish I could do that." I said I felt geeky about being able to do it, but she denied it. I try to stray from this subject, though. I don't wanna seem geeky. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 As for the computer stuff... yes, it is sort of a cultural stereotype that computer techies are geeks. So what? What matters is that SHE doesn't think it is geeky! Dude, when you told her you built your comp, she was INTERESTED. She ADMIRED your skills. This is definitely something you can talk about with her. As far as non-verbal cues... you have been given some good advice here, Man! Sit a little bit closer, touch her arm lightly when you are talking. When you are walking next to each other and talking, walk close enough that your arm occasionally brushes hers. When her hair falls in front of her eyes, brush it back behind her ear. If this kind of gesture makes you nervous, you could be a little silly about it. You already KNOW that she is okay with sharing the same personal space with you. You are NOT going to annoy her by doing these things. At worst, she will just think of this kind of gesture as the same kind of silliness as when you poked her in the head. As for your nervousness... no need to be nervous about being nervous! (You are already nervous enough!) I bet that she finds this a little endearing. I also bet she's almost as nervous as you. My best advice is to be as playful as you can in your flirtation-- the poking on the forehead was a good example. Playfulness is fun, it makes the other person think you are cute and endearing, and it is light-hearted enough that it doesn't put you in a position of having to be rejected outright. If she is playful back, then she likes you. If she rolls her eyes or moves to sit a few feet further away, then she doesn't. You can do this-- have fun with it! Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Knowing if she likes me or not isn't my main concern now. I just need to be able to approach her more. I'm fairly sure she doesn't care about any kind of touching. When I did the "poking" thing she started poking my leg after I poked her everytime. She's pulled me around by my arm several times before to get me to go with her to her friends or something. She never tells me to leave or anything, but normally when she starts talking to someone other than me, I leave. Unless of course, she's talking to me and my friends, then we can all talk, of course. My problem is talking to her, I'm becoming fairly confident that she does like me. Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Actually, I'm still not to sure she likes me, but she shows many signs of it. As far as letting my arm touch hers... I haven't quite done that, but our legs were touching for quite a long time, though it wasn't intentional on my part... I was actually just to lazy to move my leg. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 She totally likes you. If you don't ask her out, you'll kick yourself for it. Take a chance. Or do you want to be on this website forever analyzing every move this girl makes. I assure you, she likes you. Be a man! Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 She likes me? Well, thats good to hear, but that still doesn't help me with my new problem. I still can't approach her. I won't say anything unless I'm spoken to. I've got a chance to talk freely on Thursday and Friday, though. We'll have a substitute in my first period, so I can freely talk to her on the computers. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 I still can't approach her. I won't say anything unless I'm spoken to. It's just your own brain that's holding you back. What else is preventing you. Perhaps you aren't ready to date yet. I'll tell you that I think she'll be really flattered if you ask her out. I'm sure asking girls out is hard, but someone else will ask her out if you don't. Then you'll wish you had acted. I think you should just set a date in your head "I will ask her out on Friday" or whatever, and then just do it. I swear she won't kill you or anything. It's just a question! Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 I'm telling you, I just can't start conversation. I'm not afraid of talking to her, I'm just afraid of being the first one to speak. I've liked other girls in the past, but not to the point I'm as open with them as I am with this one. Not to mention the fact this one is definitely my friend, and possibly likes me back. Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship? I'm already at least two years behind in this, three if you wanna count the fact that the majority of people in my grade are 15. I get strange "empty" feelings because of this, and its causing quite a bit of depression. I know I'm taking this far too seriously, but I really like her - she isn't just some sexual object. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 You got some more good advice from HoldOn here. Remember, when you ask her out, you don't have to make it some kind of life-altering proposition. You don't even have to say, "Will you be my girlfriend?" You could just ask her to go somewhere fun with you, and not even make it clear that you would like it to be a date. That way when you are together, you can look for more clues in body language and tone to see if she thinks of it as a date. Also, once in this position, you should definitely venture more clues with your body language and tone. Look at her attentively when she is talking. Tickle her. Wrestle with her. Laugh. Like I said, have fun. You CAN approach her. You only THINK you can't!! Another thought: could you possibly let one of her friends know you think she's cute and see how the friend responds? Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Thanks for the help, but I can't seem to approach her. I don't bother her when she's talking to other people, even though she makes no indication for me not to, I just instinctively do it. I know this is getting me nowhere, so... I'll surely be talking to her for an hour and a half on both Thursday and Friday. I need to get in everything I possibly can. What exactly should I say to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Originally posted by clamdiggerwtf I'm telling you, I just can't start conversation. I'm not afraid of talking to her, I'm just afraid of being the first one to speak. I've liked other girls in the past, but not to the point I'm as open with them as I am with this one. Not to mention the fact this one is definitely my friend, and possibly likes me back. If she is your friend, why should it be strange for you to start a conversation with her? Don't friends start conversations with friends all the time? Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship? I'm already at least two years behind in this, three if you wanna count the fact that the majority of people in my grade are 15. I get strange "empty" feelings because of this, and its causing quite a bit of depression. I know I'm taking this far too seriously, but I really like her - she isn't just some sexual object. You know what? You are a remarkably sweet guy. All 15-year-old girls should be so lucky to have a guy crushing over them because he likes them for who the complete picture of who they are, instead of just working to see what base they can get to. Under all that nervousness, you are remarkably mature. And given that you built your own computer, you are obviously possess a remarkable intelligence. What's not to be attracted to here? Seriously, dude, she's a lucky girl. And I say this from a young female perspective, too. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Another thought: could you possibly let one of her friends know you think she's cute and see how the friend responds? Ahhhh, high school love. Anyway, i feel like I am beating a dead horse here. You can talk to her. Just do it. I bet it will make her day if you ask her out anyway. I'm already at least two years behind in this, three if you wanna count the fact that the majority of people in my grade are 15. Everyone is different, age doesn't matter. It is when YOU are ready. I don't know how to convince you that you can do it. Just think what is the worst case scenario, then ask yourself whether you can live with it. You're not going off to war or something. It's just talking to a girl, that's all. Even if you stammer a little and get a little embarrased, she'll just think it's cute. Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 I know that I'm ready though. Yes, she's indeed my friend, but she's also someone that I like, which is making this strange. Sure I have a few more friends that are girls, but I can talk to them normally, since I look at them as just any other person... I can't convince myself to talk to her, though. I had a hard time talking to some of my female friends now, actually. I sat beside them in class and such, so I began talking to them. I still don't approach them much except for an occasional "Hi", or maybe short conversation. What's not to like? I can't carry conversation, so it becomes boring to talk to me, I'm sure. I'm also not exactly the greatest looking person in the world. I'm a fairly skinny kid at 5'10", I have brown hair that goes to my chin, and dress the same way (random t-shirt color with some funny quote on it, and blue jeans), and I'm a bit of a class clown, which I'm sure is bad. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Ahh, you're just dissing yourself now. There's nothing wrong with anything you described. There's nothing wrong with being the class clown or being skinny. Come on, now. You're putting this girl on a pedastle (sp?). She's just a normal girl and you're good enough for her. So, what do you talk about? Same s*** you talk about with other people. listen to anything she says for clues about what she'd like to do. Ask her what she's up to this weekend, so you can see what kind of things she'd like to do. Then next week, ask her to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Thats the thing... I think she may like me, but I can't see why. I'm about as average as it gets. I lack confidence, I know. But what am I going to do to fix that? Its just my mind telling me that, but its impossible to ignore. I don't even know if this topic is going anywhere, I don't really want to waste you guy's time. Again, on Thursday and Friday I have plenty of time to talk to her (not exactly face to face, but its still talking). I need to get the message accross to her. What exactly should I say? By the way, don't get me wrong. The advice you've been giving is great. It brought me out of denial that someone could possibly like me. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Hey, stuart smalley, Just tell yourself "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough. And, gosh darnit, people like me" You've got to stop your negative inner dialogue as Dr. Phil would say. When you catch yourself saying these negative thoughts, STOP yourself and think of something good to repeat to yourself instead! Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 It may seem that simple, and I guess it really is, but I can't overcome it. I feel as if I talk to her a lot on Thursday and Friday its really gonna help, though. If I can get myself used to talking to her over a computer, I feel I can be more confident actually talking to her. I need your advice on what to say on those days, as its probably critical. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Advice on what to say... Tell me this: Let's just sat that you absolutely KNEW you were talking to someone who likes you A LOT, and let's just say you thought you were a really good-looking, funny, smart, sweet, genuine, good-hearted guy who is absolutely crush-worthy, and let's just say you were being really true to yourself, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Not a clue. What should I say? I don't wanna let her know to fast, or anything. But I want to make sure she knows. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 It is that simple. Sorry I can't give you a script of what to say, but I already gave you some ideas. Here are some more: -Ask her what she's doing this weekend. Hey, I'm going to see such-as-such movie, do you want to come? -Tell her about a great show you saw. -Make fun of a teacher. -Talk about how hard/easy/stupid a class is. -Talk about your school's sports team or something. you know, btw, are you going to the game? So am I. or whatever. Regardless, you've got to relax. No pressure here. Just talk to her like all your other friends. Carpe diem, dude. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Besides, I'll bet you a million dollars she's thinking "I think he likes me, why doesn't he ask me out??" Link to post Share on other sites
Tamed Wildflower Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 Oh Clamdigger!! Look, what I was trying to get at is two things: 1) You have to be yourself. 2) You are interesting and funny and crush-worthy... So, I'm sure if you just STOP trying to figure out the Right Thing to say, and just say what You would say, you will in fact be saying the right thing! So talk about computers, for example, or something funny that has happened recently, slip in a compliment, for example, "You know what? You a fun person to be around!" or "Hey! You're really smart!" Am I not just repeating HoldOn's suggestions? You should take some of his advice, Clamdigger, he knows what he's doing here. By the way, you sound really attractive, Dude. You are definitely crush-worthy! :: Link to post Share on other sites
clamdiggerwtf Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 -Ask her what she's doing this weekend. Hey, I'm going to see such-as-such movie, do you want to come? I could consider doing this, maybe. I just don't get out much, so I'd have to make plans to. -Tell her about a great show you saw. Don't watch much TV, but I could talk about it a bit, thanks. -Make fun of a teacher.</i> Do it already. -Talk about how hard/easy/stupid a class is. Do it already. -Talk about your school's sports team or something. you know, btw, are you going to the game? So am I. or whatever. May be a good idea, but neither of us like sports. <_< Crap... italics don't work... Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 6, 2005 Share Posted April 6, 2005 I'm a girl, chica! Anyway, you're overthinking this! Computers aren't dorky and neither are you. I'm sure you are totally "crushworthy", as WildFlower said! Link to post Share on other sites
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