NJ123 Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 No. I'm not seeing my friend until later this week so hopefully he has managed to obtain the kit. Having read a lot of the posts on here I'm not sure if all of you are getting the point: Gut feeling - it's just not there for me at the moment. She is acting normally. Our relationship and sex life remains good. We are best friends and that remains. But, people are right - she does dress provocatively at work. Very. This may be my doing, I've always encouraged her to look her best. Her affair - it wasn't affair. It was a drunken mistake and she was devistated by it. However, the inuendo laden facebook messages continue and I note that today having checked her panties there was masses of creamy discharge both at the front and back inside the panties plus a small amount outside. It almost seems that it has come from both vagina and anus. But, I will not jump to conclusions until I have undertaken the test. That will be the proving evidence. That honestly doesn't sound like a wife that's staying faithful. The suspicions are just way too high. And usually someones gut feeling is right most of the time. I really hope she's not cheating on you though, but you'll at least find out soon from the test results. If let's say she really is having an affair, what would you do in that situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 However, the inuendo laden facebook messages continue and I note that today having checked her panties there was masses of creamy discharge both at the front and back inside the panties plus a small amount outside. It almost seems that it has come from both vagina and anus. But, I will not jump to conclusions until I have undertaken the test. That will be the proving evidence. Same guy or different men? Are there patterns? More importantly, is she playing along and flirting herself? She could be having an emotional affair, maybe these messages turn her on enough that all of the fluid is from her? Is she have a dirty side? Like masturbating at work? Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 No. I'm not seeing my friend until later this week so hopefully he has managed to obtain the kit. Having read a lot of the posts on here I'm not sure if all of you are getting the point: Gut feeling - it's just not there for me at the moment. She is acting normally. Our relationship and sex life remains good. We are best friends and that remains. But, people are right - she does dress provocatively at work. Very. This may be my doing, I've always encouraged her to look her best. Her affair - it wasn't affair. It was a drunken mistake and she was devistated by it. However, the inuendo laden facebook messages continue and I note that today having checked her panties there was masses of creamy discharge both at the front and back inside the panties plus a small amount outside. It almost seems that it has come from both vagina and anus. But, I will not jump to conclusions until I have undertaken the test. That will be the proving evidence. Get in the car and go buy it yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 However, the inuendo laden facebook messages continue You have a serious problem; more serious than you may be willing to admit. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
happyman64 Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 James Does your wife stay in the office all day? I know you went to see her at work and she wasn't there does she often go out for long lunches? Have you ever met her boss? HM Link to post Share on other sites
jackslife Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 OP, I'm sorry you are going through this. What I don't understand is why you are dragging this out. You could have bought the kit yourself and tested it in 24 hours, you don't need a friend to buy it. Key loggers, VAR's, all could have been sorted over a weekend. You seem to be putting things off in the hope that you don't have to face the what you will discover. It must be awful for you, but you can't keep checking your wife's panties wondering if that's another man's juices. It may be worth considering that she wants you to find out and stop her. If she was really careful about avoiding having her affair discovered she wouldn't be leaving stained underwear in the wash basket every night and FB messages for you to see. It's painful but you need to get on and get this sorted. Link to post Share on other sites
MadJackBird Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 Get yourself tested for STDs. She is on the pill, if she is cheating she likely is not using protection. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 Her affair - it wasn't affair. It was a drunken mistake and she was devistated by it. No such thing. She made a choice and alcohol had nothing to do with that choice unless she is a 15 year old having her first drink. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I note that today having checked her panties there was masses of creamy discharge both at the front and back inside the panties plus a small amount outside. It almost seems that it has come from both vagina and anus. But, I will not jump to conclusions until I have undertaken the test. That will be the proving evidence. just save those panties for when the test kit does come in. You might find she just loves to eat cheesecake in bed with her panties on, or something. the kit will tell the truth. do not procrastinate on this though...you will end up blurting something to her, she will go on high alert, and your chances of finding anything out will be near zero Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 James kind of disappeared. I wonder if he found something? Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Did you test her panties yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 James kind of disappeared. I wonder if he found something? He's mentioned that he takes a while between posts because he doesn't get so much time to browse freely here. Link to post Share on other sites
Man Mountain Makino Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Friend, it appears to me like she is riding at least one guy's baloney pony regularly. Just get the facts and proceed. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Silveron Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 You have a couple of issues here: First, is she cheating? We can't answer that, however from what you tell us it doesn't look good. Second, her actions of wearing this clothing and more importantly her communication to others is allowing herself to be viewed as a sexual object which is disrespectful to you and the marriage. Third, it is making you walk on eggshells that if you do not find her cheating, the continued thoughts of when will it become physical again happen? I say again because she did cheat with that one night stand. If she was truly remorseful she would not be putting herself, you and the marriage into this position by her choice of wardrobe and the way she is talking to other men. One random night I would just ask her out of the blue, "Can I see your phone?". If all of a sudden she becomes defensive then you know your answer and you don't even have to look at it to know what you will find. If she starts on the privacy and trust bs then again you know she has something to hide. She knows what she is doing, if you call her out on it and she becomes defensive and tries to turn it around on you then that is a red flag she is doing something she shouldn't be. The FB messages alone would have made me confronted her if I was her husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Author James7 Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 Testing kit arriving tomorrow. I have saved the panties from the other day as they so much on them. I assume the kit works on dried semen? Interesting facebook messages again (and I stress that I had to read this in archive) - She had a message trail with a female colleague where they were "rating" male colleagues and speculating on penis sizes. Further flirty message exchanges with her and this male colleague - again, nothing direct but plenty of suggestive comments one in which she suggested that she doesn't always wear knickers. Some of you will jump up and down that this means she's doing it. But again, I've worked in these environments whereby colleagues exchange flirty and dirty talk with absolutely nothing going on. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 I've worked in these environments whereby colleagues exchange flirty and dirty talk with absolutely nothing going on. How did you know nothing was going on? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NateGrey Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 (edited) Testing kit arriving tomorrow. I have saved the panties from the other day as they so much on them. I assume the kit works on dried semen? Interesting facebook messages again (and I stress that I had to read this in archive) - She had a message trail with a female colleague where they were "rating" male colleagues and speculating on penis sizes. Further flirty message exchanges with her and this male colleague - again, nothing direct but plenty of suggestive comments one in which she suggested that she doesn't always wear knickers. Some of you will jump up and down that this means she's doing it. But again, I've worked in these environments whereby colleagues exchange flirty and dirty talk with absolutely nothing going on. Your post has, to me, a lot of denial in it. I don't care who these people are, if she is married she shouldn't be rating other men and their penis size. Come on now, if that is what her work environment is like there is a problem. She also continually exchanges flirty messages with these people? There are a bunch of red flags going off in your face and you don't seem to see it. If this were my wife and no other incidents had happened besides what you described in this post we would still be having a serious serious talk about boundaries and the behavior would have to stop. Edited December 5, 2014 by NateGrey Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Your post has, to me, a lot of denial in it. I don't care who these people are, if she is married she shouldn't be rating other men and their penis size. Come on now, if that is what her work environment is like there is a problem. She also continually exchanges flirty messages with these people? There are a bunch of red flags going off in your face and you don't seem to see it. If this were my wife and no other incidents had happened besides what you described in this post we would still be having a serious serious talk about boundaries and the behavior would have to stop. I agree on the flirty messages and that a serious talk about boundaries would be in order over them alone. But the dick talk? Women talking about guys & their stuff is no big deal. Looking & joking around doesn't mean a thing. It's that big stain on her panties that is going to tell the tale here. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 ... But, people are right - she does dress provocatively at work. Very. This may be my doing, I've always encouraged her to look her best. She can look her best without plunging necklines or skirts way up to here. You know this - stop blaming yourself for her issues. Her affair - it wasn't affair. It was a drunken mistake and she was devistated by it. This is sad. I hope we are all wrong and your wife isn't cheating but, with this in her past, I'm afraid you are going to discover your worst fears are true. However, the inuendo laden facebook messages continue and I note that today having checked her panties there was masses of creamy discharge both at the front and back inside the panties plus a small amount outside. It almost seems that it has come from both vagina and anus. But, I will not jump to conclusions until I have undertaken the test. That will be the proving evidence. The fact that you have to go through such a disgusting process in order to find the truth is a crime. I wish you could verify things some other way. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Estimating penis size with other women is no big deal IMO, but speaking about "no knickers" with a male colleague is a bit raunchy and maybe a red flag. But sometimes there are "in jokes" and "no knickers" may have come up in general chitchat at work, so mentioning it again may not be as bad as it sounds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NateGrey Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 I guess you are right about the dick talk. I guess for me the problem was that in combination with all the other things she was doing at work. On its own it isn't as bad I guess. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 I really don't know of any woman, except a hooker maybe, that would walk around all day with panties soaked with semen. It would smell, and wet underwear feels gross. You are not going to find anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 rating dick sizes, ****, every guy in here needs to take a step off the soap box. I know many men, myself included, who rate women on a scale of fugly to ****able to wife material with their male colleagues, and some on a daily basis as if it were a game. It doesn't mean we all go and cheat on our spouses. I also agree with smackie, that is gross and no woman I know would do it. But archiving messages is weird, especially super flirty ones. Plus, I think it maybe likely she gets her kicks from these things and maybe these stains are just her ****ing horniness for the dirty talk. I am looking forward to the test results. Plus, I would just straight up talk to her after the kit test if it is negative then. I would explain to her that you are having doubts about her commitment to the relationship and that you think she feels like she is missing something and that you want to figure it out. If it is the case that it is semen, then you have to figure something out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author James7 Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 Thanks for all you're input. It does help to get a balance. Look, for me it's important to apply the same standards for me as well as her. This isn't sticking my head in the sand....... Her one night stand........ I had an affair several years ago. It went on for 4 months. I didn't get caught, I ended it and I have never cheated again. Hers was one occasion. What makes her different to me? You simply can't say once a cheat, always a cheat as I am evidence that this is not the case. Talking about male colleagues dick size - again, us men do this all of the time. We tall about boob sizes so what makes women any different? Flirty messages - they could be seen as banter. I have banter every day with female colleagues as do others around me. Yes, sometimes the conversations can be innappropriate but they are held with people who are happy to have them. These for me do not add up on their own to certain guilt. I am of course concerned about the mess in the panties. I'll test this when the kit comes but this is something that I'll feel awful about doing. If it's semen then she has a lot to answer for. If it's not then I wouldn't be surprised. Look, my wife is gregarious, outgoing, sexually adventurous and open minded. She makes the most of what she has and is a very sexy woman. This is what attracted me to her in the first place. I am not possessive or threatened in any way and am very comfortable in my own skin. Those of you accusing me of sticking my head in the sand or being to soft on this are a mile wide of the mark. Those of you suggesting that just because she is married she shouldn't engage in banter even of a sexually suggestive nature really must have led a pretty sheltered life. Mate mate will drop the kit in later. I'll do the test and let's see where we go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
happyman64 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Good Luck James with the kit. I hope the news comes back that she is not screwing around on you. Link to post Share on other sites
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