Western men seeking foreign wives.

[BlueIris]

Stereotypes only make your arguments less credible.

 

That’s true. And stereotyping is its own type of mindset.

 

I figure if someone is prejudiced against one group and idealizes another group, they definitely shouldn’t date within the group they dislike and should date within the idealized group! For everyone’s sake.

 

Like i said, that's the problem I've found with most American woman...always asking what a man can do for them.

 

Yet, you assess and praise your friend’s wife, who is foreign, for what she does for him-- ironing shirts, cooking meals, making efforts to please him. So you too are assessing by what a partner “can do for” their partner.

 

You’ve said that American women don’t make as much money as you do and “insist” that you pay for them, and that you find that unappealing. While I’m glad to hear you found a girlfriend that you really like, you’re again dating someone who makes far less than you do and that you pay for. You’re perpetuating your own cycle and choosing women who will continue to confirm your bad feelings about American women. Why not date women who are self-sufficient?

 

I feel ya. Really not many nice, decent women here.

 

If you don’t consider most American women nice and decent, you should definitely look elsewhere for women you do consider nice and decent. No one wants to date someone who’s predisposed to find them inferior.

 

I wonder how well posts would fare that stereotyped and discussed general dissatisfaction with and short-comings of Asian women, South American women, Eastern European women. I truly don’t know. Maybe there wouldn’t be any difference.

[Els]

I figure if someone is prejudiced against one group and idealizes another group, they definitely shouldn’t date within the group they dislike and should date within the idealized group! For everyone’s sake.

 

I'm not sure this would be great for the Asian women those guys are after - these ideals sound like a fantasy house of cards that would tumble down as soon as the honeymoon phase is over. But, those women also do have the capability to make their own judgements and decisions as to whom they will date, so I suppose all will be well.

[taiko]

I keep hearing more and more about men going overseas to find women to marry because they don't like the way western women behave. The other day I spoke to my cousin and found out he's engaged to be get married to a girl from back home. I saw pics of her on facebook and she's very attractive. I've never dated a foreign simply because there aren't that many around, but I've worked with some guys who were happily married to foreign women. I've been to a couple places overseas and I noticed the women there are very approachable and easy to talk to.

 

Anybody have any experience with foreign women or married to eastern women?

 

Yes I have experience, with a Filipina specifically. Since getting involved with her I discovered on the net that collection of folks who are specifically targeting a specific country as a search site for a spouse. We made no search nor advertised on any dating sites, it was more of an unsolicited match maker type deal. Still we both fit the stereotypes that the general public puts on these relationships. For different reasons we both were at the bottom of our respective cultures most eligible list, or at least after a lifetime thought that way about ourselves.

 

Without going into the details of either of our testimonies I will admit that our marriage could be seen as an act of dual desperation and I wouldn't recommend going this route intentionally unless it is a last resort. Now if work or study took you to some other land and you met someone that is different then planning on a spouse from X province of nation Y and then taking a trip.

[Els]

Yes I believe what you say is true about the unhappy marriages. I actually don't even think it's american women (the ones I'm talking about) fault they're like this. I think the media and men are behind a lot of this shyt, but that's neither here nor there. My bad, I should have phased my OP "things aren't working out with western women" I just think things are out of hand and I'm looking for a solution.

 

I have no desire to back to traditionalism. For one, I'm a clean freak and don't mind cleaning. lol Also because on my salary, I make pretty good money, but it's never enough. I aiming to fix some of the other problems I mentioned which are a bigger deal than getting my meals cooked and my laundry done.

 

Then you should just go for the women who share the same core values as you, regardless of what race or nationality they might be. I sincerely doubt 'Eastern women' are going to be a magic bullet solution to this, as they aren't all a hive mind and are as varied as any other women anywhere else.

 

But traveling is always a good thing and broadens your horizons, so there's nothing wrong with taking a trip overseas to work or study. Certainly you would be meeting MORE women than just staying at home.

[Mr. Lucky]

Without going into the details of either of our testimonies I will admit that our marriage could be seen as an act of dual desperation and I wouldn't recommend going this route intentionally unless it is a last resort. Now if work or study took you to some other land and you met someone that is different then planning on a spouse from X province of nation Y and then taking a trip.

How is your marriage? Are you satisfied with what your partner has brought to the relationship ???

 

Mr. Lucky

[taiko]

How is your marriage? Are you satisfied with what your partner has brought to the relationship ???

Mr. Lucky

Very satisfied. It was the second best decision of my life but I recognize it was one of the biggest risk taken.

[BlueIris]

I'm not sure this would be great for the Asian women those guys are after - these ideals sound like a fantasy house of cards that would tumble down as soon as the honeymoon phase is over. But, those women also do have the capability to make their own judgements and decisions as to whom they will date, so I suppose all will be well.

 

Good point. In some cases, that's very true. The rate of abuse is higher than average in marriages via the mail-order bride industry and the VAWA was amended to provide some protections for those women in particular as a result. (I don't mean to imply that that is what Jay or anyone here is talking about or could be in any way involved in though!) The risks and stats should be respected.

Edited September 9, 2014 by BlueIris

[VeronicaRoss]

I grew up in Hawaii surrounded by friend's parent's traditional marriages rooted in Asian culture -- Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipino. We called white guys from the mainland who fixated on Asian women 'Rice Kings' and laughed at their cultural assumptions about a submissive 'more traditional wife' and their ignorance or what was behind that 'submissiveness'.

 

My Asian American female friends chased after their own dreams and avoided Asian American guys because of their crazy expectations of a spouse. Most didn't want to emulate their parent's marriages.

 

If you are a narcissist you can't accept when you are creating your own problems including rejection, no one can give enough to you from any country. If you can't find anyone where you are, or are rejected repeatedly, the problem is very probably you and you'll get far more out of examining yourself and making some changes.

 

Every culture has it's downfalls and when you swim outside of your own waters, you have lost knowledge and intelligence about your situation.

[Els]

My Asian American female friends chased after their own dreams and avoided Asian American guys because of their crazy expectations of a spouse. Most didn't want to emulate their parent's marriages.

 

Interesting, this hasn't been my experience (I'm an Asian living in a Caucasian country, but not America). Personally I bump into much more 'crazy expectations' by the guys on LS, compared to the Asian guys I know. Myself and several other Asian girls are in happy Rs with Asian guys - IMO the stereotyping that your friends are doing is much the same as the stereotyping that is being done here about 'Western women' or 'Asian women'. Not all Asian guys are the same - they are as varied as 'Western guys'.

 

I wouldn't want to emulate my parents' marriage 100%, but the way my father treats my mother is very, very admirable. Fortunately I have met a man who treats me equally well, just in different aspects (as the aspects I prioritize are different from my parents').

[Els]

Good point. In some cases, that's very true. The rate of abuse is higher than average in marriages via the mail-order bride industry and the VAWA was amended to provide some protections for those women in particular as a result. (I don't mean to imply that that is what Jay or anyone here is talking about or could be in any way involved in though!) The risks and stats should be respected.

 

Well, to be fair, I was talking about Asian women who are in countries or circumstances where they have equal legal rights and options to support themselves, and are just desiring happy relationships. The mail order bride industry is a whole other can of worms, IMO. Most of the ones advertised on the internet are really just scams, but the genuine ones that exist... well, I'm divided on those.

 

On the one hand, they really are a way out for women living in such poverty that most of us could never imagine, but on the other hand they are certainly very vulnerable to abuse, and it must be terrible to be in a marriage with a man whom you do not know or love. At any rate, I'm glad that there are legal protections being arranged for these women. Life would be a constant swing between a rock and a hard place for them.

[Mr. Lucky]

This whole discussion is an exercise in futility as marriage is a crapshoot regardless of your country of origin. The two best relationships in my circle of friends (besides my own :-) are an "arranged marriage" Pakistani couple who never spent a moment alone before the ceremony and two gents that have been together for 3 decades. Both couples treat each other with respect, affection and consideration. Wish it was as easy as pointing to the map and picking a country for your spouse....

 

Mr. Lucky

[piggyoink]

http://forum.gaijinpot.com/forum/community-center/off-topic/16705-what-s-the-difference-between-an-asian-girl-a-white-girl

 

I have dated three Filipinos Americans and one Full Filipinos in Japan. I have also dated three Japanese American and more then I can count full Japanese. Also I am now married to a full Japanese woman. I dated many Koreans in South Korea and two Korean Americans. I date three Chinese American and three Chinese in China. As well as six Hispanic and two women from Brazil, one from Venezuelan, and two Mexico women, and about 6 white women. Here are my basic thoughts about these women

OK, I dated too much and was a slu__ too.

 

Japanese Women

 

1) Smart and well spoken.

2) Very well educated

3) Fast learns

4) Smart with money

5) So-so in bed, except my wife.

6) In general they are not jealous

7) They age well.

8) When it is over the break up is relatively painless.

 

Filipinos Women

 

Filipinos are a great mixture of Spanish, Polynesian, and Asian.

 

1) They are needy; they always need you and don’t want you to be with your friend’s, family, or other people beside them.

 

2) They don’t age well. They get to 40 and turn into fat, bald, and very old looking ladies.

3) Amazing in bed

4) Not good at saving money and they spend money like there is no tomorrow.

5) If you breaking up with them it is you verse their whole family. They seek revenge and want to do the most cruel things to you, your friends, and family.

6) They are not very ambitious. Your life is the most important thing to them and they want to be your slave.

7) They are extremely jealous of everything and everyone.

The Filipina women I have dated had amazing talents in journalism, teaching, and sciences, but did not use their tales, because they did not want to look too smart. Instead they did job below their gifted talents so they would not look smarter then their boyfriend. I always thought this was a great waste of God given talents.

 

Koreans Women

 

1) No fashion style at all with only a few exceptions to this.

2) They act like little girl even thought they are in their 20’s and 30’s

3) They are dead in bed.

4) The have few thoughts of their own and have great hate for their families.

5) Their education is limited

6) They for the most part act nice until they get married.

7) Full of rage and hate when you break up with them.

8) Visa hunters

 

Chinese Women

 

1) Smart and ambushes

2) Some are amazing in bed and some are dead in bed. It all depends

3) Penny pinchers. It drive me crazy

4) They remember every bad thing you ever did to them, but forget there own mistakes

5) You are not good enough for them, but too good for everyone else.

 

 

 

Hispanic Women

 

1) Never a boring moment in lover or bed

2) They start out thin and become fat as you date them

3) They don’t age well

4) Violent and vindictive when you breakup with them.

5) When you dating them, they are all good women

6) Very adventures in life

 

White

1) Great fashion

2) S0-so in bed

3) Jellies

4) After dating them for sometime they don’t take care of themselves

5) Whinny

6) Breaking up with they and they are always crying. They are always trying to get back together with you and will not stop calling and visiting you at home and work.

7) Not very adventures in life

8) Very controlled by their families

[SJC2008]

This may surprise some people but I don't need a woman to all the cooking/cleaning, just to do her share.I don't need her to wash my clothes, or anyone for that matter as I've been washing my own since about 12. I just want a woman who is submissive to her man in a healthy way. Most women want a masculine man and will be submissive in the bedroom but they want to "run the show" with everything else.

[William]

I'll re-state the topic:

 

"Anybody have any experience with foreign women or married to eastern women?"

 

Experiences and current relationships, like a marriage, are welcomed. Thanks!

[BetheButterfly]

I keep hearing more and more about men going overseas to find women to marry because they don't like the way western women behave. The other day I spoke to my cousin and found out he's engaged to be get married to a girl from back home. I saw pics of her on facebook and she's very attractive. I've never dated a foreign simply because there aren't that many around, but I've worked with some guys who were happily married to foreign women. I've been to a couple places overseas and I noticed the women there are very approachable and easy to talk to.

 

Anybody have any experience with foreign women or married to eastern women?

 

I'm an American woman who is happily married to a foreign man. He's wonderful and awesome!!! We share the same values which makes living together a joy! We have many couples for friends who, interestingly enough, consist of an American man and a foreign woman. They all seem to have happy marriages except for one couple. Personally, I love hanging out with international couples!!!

 

My hubby is Ecuatoriano/Colombiano, and most of the foreign women with whom I enjoy hanging out (who are married to American men) are from Brazil and Spanish-speaking countries. They do tend to be much friendlier than many American women. As a girl though, I was always drawn to the Latin American community because of their happy and warm generosity, hugs and kisses, and welcoming personailities, so maybe that's why I enjoy being with "foreigners" so much.

[BetheButterfly]

I grew up in Hawaii surrounded by friend's parent's traditional marriages rooted in Asian culture -- Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipino. We called white guys from the mainland who fixated on Asian women 'Rice Kings' and laughed at their cultural assumptions about a submissive 'more traditional wife' and their ignorance or what was behind that 'submissiveness'.

 

Some American men assume Latinas are submissive too. That's so not true for many Latina women!!!

[Absinthe]

I live in Singapore (I'm female) and have a lot of female friends here who are Singaporean, Malaysian, Filipino, Chinese, Vietnamese and Indonesian. Submissive, they are not!

 

But so many of them are used by Western men, that as someone said in an earlier post, it is no incentive to be the good little girlfriend. I lived with one guy who had five one night stands a week on average, all whilst seeing a regular girl (presumably the favourite). One male friend told me that he had so many women throwing themselves at him, it was hard for him to pick one...so he didn't.

 

However my experiences of Asian (Chinese or Chinese descent) men don't make me surprised that an Asian woman would go for a Westerner...and no, it is not just for the money!...They may not be players, but they can be shallow to the point of ridiculous. Women are expected to be FLAWLESS, with porcelain skin and straight hair, which makes me laugh as it's hardly as though swathes of these dudes could be described as acne-free Adonises.

[atreides]

LOL I too have dated Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Filipino, Ukrainian, Israeli, and almost all Latin countries and currently married to a Guatemalan.

 

I just found some of the below spot on and funny by the words used.

 

Japanese Women

6) In general they are not jealous << very true

7) They age well. << not all do.

8) When it is over the break up is relatively painless. << agreed, very little drama

 

Filipinos Women

1) They are needy; they always need you and don’t want you to be with your friend’s, family, or other people beside them. << this cracked me up, deja vu.

3) Amazing in bed << eh..

5) If you breaking up with them it is you verse their whole family. They seek revenge and want to do the most cruel things to you, your friends, and family. << LMAO!!!!

 

Chinese Women

2) Some are amazing in bed and some are dead in bed. It all depends << SO TRUE!!!

3) Penny pinchers. It drive me crazy << LMAO!

 

 

 

4) They remember every bad thing you ever did to them, but forget there << all women i have dated do this though

 

 

White << I am assuming american right?

2) S0-so in bed << for me, better ratio of good in bed than bad.

7) Not very adventures in life << have been the most adventurous for me

 

 

 

Hispanic Women

I am married to one.. going 16 years.

 

1) Never a boring moment in lover or bed << started out vanilla, learned fast, became adventurous and is now awesome.

 

2) They start out thin and become fat as you date them <<LMAO!!! LOL! Frijol y arroz Y tortillas in WAY TOO MUCH proportions... makes that special shape... lol... they love sugar, sugar, sugar.. oh and more sugar.. my wife though is fit, loves to be healthy... opposite of her mom.

 

 

3) They don’t age well << disagree totally.

4) Violent and vindictive when you breakup with them. << can be violent period.

 

Fun post.

Edited September 11, 2014 by atreides

[PinkInTheLimo]

I am currently ready to start a new job and I am in school fulltime as well so I can get a more marketable degree, and get the hell out of this marriage.

 

OK, I was reading your post and thinking "She's got to get the hell out of that marriage." Thanks god, you are indeed considering it.

 

Stories like yours make me happy that I am not married, and that I never gave up my own career for a relationship. I could have done it when I was younger and naive but my life did not go that way, which actually forced me to invest in better education and a career. Best thing I ever did.

 

If I ever marry, I will always be able to leave without too much collateral damage if he starts to treat me like crap.

[jackslife]

I haven't read the whole of this thread, so apologies if this has already been covered.

 

There is another dark side to this. One of the guys from my rugby club (late 50's) had been married, divorced etc, so goes to Thailand and meets up with a younger thai bride who he marries. He has a business over there and eventually cuts ties with England and moves over there.

 

A couple of years go by and then last year he started contacting his close mates in the UK asking and then begging for money. He seems in a terrible state so they club together and send the cash. He phones and writes asking for more, saying his wifes family are threatening to harm him. They send more cash, but beg him to come home, offering to buy him a plane ticket and see he is okay on his arrival.

 

He calls again, finally they stop sending the money. All goes quiet for a few weeks, then his family in the UK are informed he died of a heart attack. He's been cremated and that's that.

 

This is not a friend of a friend story, I knew him personally (though not well) and know his mates as well. Apparently it happens a lot in Thailand, but is kept quiet by the very bribable police there and a government who don't want to ruin the countries name.

[Els]

I haven't read the whole of this thread, so apologies if this has already been covered.

 

There is another dark side to this. One of the guys from my rugby club (late 50's) had been married, divorced etc, so goes to Thailand and meets up with a younger thai bride who he marries. He has a business over there and eventually cuts ties with England and moves over there.

 

A couple of years go by and then last year he started contacting his close mates in the UK asking and then begging for money. He seems in a terrible state so they club together and send the cash. He phones and writes asking for more, saying his wifes family are threatening to harm him. They send more cash, but beg him to come home, offering to buy him a plane ticket and see he is okay on his arrival.

 

He calls again, finally they stop sending the money. All goes quiet for a few weeks, then his family in the UK are informed he died of a heart attack. He's been cremated and that's that.

 

This is not a friend of a friend story, I knew him personally (though not well) and know his mates as well. Apparently it happens a lot in Thailand, but is kept quiet by the very bribable police there and a government who don't want to ruin the countries name.

 

Coming from around the region, I have no trouble believing this. There is much that goes on in most SEA countries that is covered up.

 

If anyone REALLY wants to be in a relationship or marriage with someone from around that region, it should be under the caveat that their newfound partner move to their country.

[DaisyLeigh1967]

OK, I was reading your post and thinking "She's got to get the hell out of that marriage." Thanks god, you are indeed considering it.

 

Stories like yours make me happy that I am not married, and that I never gave up my own career for a relationship. I could have done it when I was younger and naive but my life did not go that way, which actually forced me to invest in better education and a career. Best thing I ever did.

 

If I ever marry, I will always be able to leave without too much collateral damage if he starts to treat me like crap.

 

Yes you were smart

[Cristo]

Great thread!

 

OP, don't stress about what some of the foreign-born women discuss here. More than likely, they come from rich (by third world standards) families and were brought up pretty far removed from the country itself.

 

I know some women like this and there was a huge difference between what they told me and what I experienced when I went to these countries. Most get their information from the news and not from experience.

 

Also, the guy that brought up his friend that disappeared/died knows way too little about that guy's story to really comment on it. I've also met guys in a similar situation (though, to my knowledge, they didn't die). Every one of them went for the bar girls (hookers), which is a definite no no.

 

Just realize that if you do decide to go this route, you will have to put a lot of time and effort into it. A good portion of the girls on the dating sites are scammers and hookers (not all, but most).

 

In the end, you will have to meet women through friendships or cold approaches on the ground just like in the US (however, you will get much better responses when cold approaching there than here).

 

Personally, I'm okay with American women. They are considerably different from women in third world countries, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Both have pros and cons.

[jay1983]

Great thread!

 

OP, don't stress about what some of the foreign-born women discuss here. More than likely, they come from rich (by third world standards) families and were brought up pretty far removed from the country itself.

 

I know some women like this and there was a huge difference between what they told me and what I experienced when I went to these countries. Most get their information from the news and not from experience.

 

Also, the guy that brought up his friend that disappeared/died knows way too little about that guy's story to really comment on it. I've also met guys in a similar situation (though, to my knowledge, they didn't die). Every one of them went for the bar girls (hookers), which is a definite no no.

 

Just realize that if you do decide to go this route, you will have to put a lot of time and effort into it. A good portion of the girls on the dating sites are scammers and hookers (not all, but most).

 

In the end, you will have to meet women through friendships or cold approaches on the ground just like in the US (however, you will get much better responses when cold approaching there than here).

 

Personally, I'm okay with American women. They are considerably different from women in third world countries, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Both have pros and cons.

 

Thanks man, that's exactly what I was telling jasmine, what she said didn't add up to what I've seen. And you're not very likely to hear about positive stories from women because, well......... I'm not gonna bother.

[Cristo]

Thanks man, that's exactly what I was telling jasmine, what she said didn't add up to what I've seen. And you're not very likely to hear about positive stories from women because, well......... I'm not gonna bother.

 

Exactly.

 

I mean I do know some horror stories too. This one guy that I know (my good friend's cousin) brought a girl back to the US from the Philippines.

 

It was a disaster. She came with a child and ended up getting pregnant by another guy (that wasn't her husband). He dumped her, but ultimately took her back.

 

It's important to note the back story though. This guy had only dated and had sex with 1 girl (so he lacked experience). He's fat, about average looking, not particularly intelligent, and very socially awkward. Also, he met his girl on a dating website and spent zero time in the country. Basically, he was the perfect target for a scammer (which is what he got).

 

This is in contrast to another guy I know. This guy is currently in an 8 year marriage with a woman 20 years younger than him that is strikingly beautiful. However, this guy made multiple trips, got to know this girl for 4 years, spent a lot of time with her family, and dated multiple girls from that country. He's above average height and is very intelligent (though he looks like an old man).

 

As I said previously, you have to go about this in a smart way. The guys that are naive or half-a** it are the ones that get screwed in the end.