Mr. Lucky Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 It also describes a mother. No thanks! Heck, rather than marrying someone like that, I'd like to get one for my wife. Maybe my wife needs a wife ??? Mr. Lucky 11 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Heck, rather than marrying someone like that, I'd like to get one for my wife. Maybe my wife needs a wife ??? Mr. Lucky Every wife needs a wife 11 Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 This attitude is why many good men are looking elsewhere for a decent woman. Why? All I did was ask what he does for her? That does not make me or anyone else an indecent woman. Let me tell you: I have been married for almost 25 years. I did all of that haus frau stuff for a long time. Took "care" of him. Bore 3 children and worked part time in addition to being responsible for all of the housework, and childcare. I have moved when he wanted, and have gone along with different thing HE wanted, like joining this or that church, spending more time with his family than my own, and other assorted things. Here is what I have gotten in return: Told I am not a good wife or mother, just because I have not been happy go lucky every day. Told I am defective because I have to take meds for depression and anxiety. Compared to the meek and mild church mouse SIL, and his own mother. Called every filthy name you can imagine. He has never supported me in any way. Or he just pretended to. I have been deathly ill and he left me to go out of town to an amusement park with our church youth group, leaving me with two small kids. When my mom died in 2013, he got pissy over something and threatened not to bring our sons to their grandmothers funeral. (I was staying with my handicapped niece that week and making ALL of the arrangements). I started working fulltime 5 years ago. I lost my job in February. He made fun of me, kept his pay separate and made it where I had to ASK for "his" money. Screamed and yelled at me if the house was not spotless at all times. But he allows our kids to make big messes and he makes big messes and I am to clean up after everyone. He also undermines every parenting decision I make. No matter what it is . He has taught our sons that they don't have to respect me. TMI ALERT: We have not had sex in over a year. He does not hug me, show any affection at all. Not that I want it from him anymore. I am currently ready to start a new job and I am in school fulltime as well so I can get a more marketable degree, and get the hell out of this marriage. Oh, and everyone he knows thinks he is just a swell guy. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 And do not get me wrong. I know there are selfish, crappy women in the world. But it is not limited to Americans. I don't understand why in this 21st Century, that women are still expected to be quiet, meek, and bow down to men in order to be considered "decent". If my husband would have shown me kindness, affection, and real love and respect, I would have done anything for him. Given him all of my love and care. My story is all too common in America, I am afraid. Some men want us to be the little haus frau with no opinion or brains, yet they also want us to be responsible for every damn thing else, and bring in the big paycheck. Oh, and I would not mind treating if I were in the dating world. In fact, I would love to do so for a nice guy. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I am currently ready to start a new job and I am in school fulltime as well so I can get a more marketable degree, and get the hell out of this marriage. Godspeed! You many find you don't need to antidepressants when you dump the true depressant. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 As an 'Eastern woman' (sheesh, what a broad term), you're harboring a fantasy, nothing more. Gender expectations and sexism go both ways in most places, and are hard on men as well as women in many aspects. This might not apply if you are with a woman who is only with you for immigration's sake, but let's assume (and hope) that that isn't what you're looking for. As for the rest of your post, sure some 'Western' men are in happy Rs with 'Eastern' women. It's sheer statistical probability. It is really not the way to go if all you want is an easy time with women without having to put in any effort, though. Effort is still needed, just perhaps in different areas. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Lets reverse this. Any women seeking an exotic Dutch man? Can cook and clean when he feels like it, is not hairless, and has a mysterious Dutch accent with a hint of Brit. Is also very good at following orders and likes being pampered in the morning. Any takers. Anyone. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Lets reverse this. Any women seeking an exotic Dutch man? Can cook and clean when he feels like it, is not hairless, and has a mysterious Dutch accent with a hint of Brit. Is also very good at following orders and likes being pampered in the morning. Any takers. Anyone. What sort of 'orders' are we talking about again? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 What sort of 'orders' are we talking about again? I rather not say. That will ruin the whole mystery of it all. But having read some of your posts you are probably not very far off mark 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 My accent has always been good to me.....especially now that it is coupled with a bit of Canadiana. I am also a very domesticated man thanks to my mom from a younger age...... The kitchen is pretty much my area...cooking up meals, doing laundry, cleaning, single dad, professional career Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Lets reverse this. Any women seeking an exotic Dutch man? Can cook and clean when he feels like it, is not hairless, and has a mysterious Dutch accent with a hint of Brit. Is also very good at following orders and likes being pampered in the morning. Any takers. Anyone. Hmmm...always been curious about a poly household... Any chance you're bi? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Hmmm...always been curious about a poly household... Any chance you're bi? Depends. How is your hubby at pampering exotic Dutch men in the morning? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Depends. How is your hubby at pampering exotic Dutch men in the morning? Well he's damn good at pampering me! I woke up to snuggles and sex. Then he let me sleep in while he prepared vegetarian breakfast burritos, walked the dog, did the dishes, and painted our daughter's closet . I should mention, he's an "Eastern" looking man ! Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Well he's damn good at pampering me! I woke up to snuggles and sex. Then he let me sleep in while he prepared vegetarian breakfast burritos, walked the dog, did the dishes, and painted our daughter's closet . I should mention, he's an "Eastern" looking man ! Sounds good. Well... You have to try everything once One request though. I do NOT do vegetarian breakfast. Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Sounds good. Well... You have to try everything once One request though. I do NOT do vegetarian breakfast. Not to worry. We eat seafood, just not disgusting Anerican mass produced meat products. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mangina Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I'm US born and my parents are from Greece. We go and visit family every other year. The girls there are very nice and arent always looking at their iPhone. They don't do drugs or hook up with strangers, I know there probably are some who do, but I haven't seen it. Over here when try and say hi to a girl, I can tell she gets uncomfortable. It makes me feel terrible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aj22one Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Anybody have any experience with foreign women or married to eastern women? haha what's a foreign/eastern woman man? My wife was born in the US but her family was born in Pakistan. I guess she's eastern but maybe not. She's a big Mets and Knicks fan since she grew up in Queens. Not much different than anyone else around here. haha I've always had a thing for brown women. Never cared whether they came from west or east haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Like i said, that's the problem I've found with most American woman...always asking what a man can do for them. Uh, I hate to break this to you, but most 'Eastern' women also do observe and evaluate what the man does for them in their relationships. It might not be explicitly stated, but trust me, no woman with decent self esteem and reasonable legal rights ANYWHERE is interested in a R where the man isn't putting in any effort. No, it's not JUST American women, but we seem to have a higher percentage of them. Divorce rate here is about 50%. The country my friend's wife comes from is more like 20%. Those are much better odds. You neglect to see the other side of the coin here. Divorce is not common in some countries because it isn't socially acceptable. That may be a good thing in a way because it compels people to work on issues rather than cutting and running at the first sign of problems... but can also be a bad thing when people just stay in a M that hasn't been happy for years and has little prospect of being happy in the future. Note that this also affects men in sexless marriages, or with emotionally abusive wives. They are not necessarily able to leave. It goes both ways. There have been several cases of suicide by men in some Asian countries due to this. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
bastus Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 If you think the dating world of humans is tough, check out the love life of black widows, where one misstep can lead to a lethal end. do not take it seriously ,just trying to make a joke :bunny: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 If all it takes to be an "Eastern" woman is taking pride in being a wife, then I'm Eastern as phuk!! Jay, if you want to search elsewhere for a wife, go for it. The problem American women may have with this is being judged harshly for not being "traditional" (which you never blatantly stated, but is implied). I've lived in a country with women like the ones you're seeking. And even though the divorce rate is extremely low, these people are not in happy marriages for the most part. Especially those our age. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I The difference is in the attitude. My friend's wife takes pride in being a good wife, that's why she does the things she does. Sure, her husband does a lot for her, but that's because she doesn't ask for anything, or demand anything, or act like she is entitled to anything. Has anyone here said that they were 'entitled' to anything? It's a bit of a tricky thing, entitlement. Reciprocation is chicken and egg. Even if she doesn't explicitly say so, chances are if your friend did not treat his wife that well, his wife would not be treating him that well either (or would not be with him in the first place). In a healthy R both partners want to treat each other well. You assume I don't see the other side, because my opinion differs from yours. No, I assume you don't see the other side because I have much, much more experience with 'Eastern' culture than you do. How long have you spent actually living in such a culture? What I find most interesting about this thread is the fact that every woman is acting like no man should meet a woman overseas. Why is that? I know plenty of guys whose American wife left him, cheated on him, or screwed him over. Thanks to my buddy, I have now met a few guys who have successfully married an Asian woman, and those guys are the happiest husbands I know.No one has actually said the bolded. For the record, I know several happy couples consisting of Caucasian men and Asian women. They aren't really all that separate from the couples I know who are both Caucasians or both Asians. They're all individuals and all act differently according to the dynamics within their individual relationships. FTR, in one of the Caucasian man/Asian woman couples I know, the woman is a very successful career woman, and the man does most of the housework, relocates to wherever she needs to be for her promotions, and works full-time to boot (although he works fewer hours and earns less than she does). It works well for them, and their races (or genders) have nothing to do with any of it. They each just try and help each other out and work with each others' strengths and weaknesses. Stereotypes only make your arguments less credible. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jay1983 Posted September 8, 2014 Author Share Posted September 8, 2014 If all it takes to be an "Eastern" woman is taking pride in being a wife, then I'm Eastern as phuk!! Jay, if you want to search elsewhere for a wife, go for it. The problem American women may have with this is being judged harshly for not being "traditional" (which you never blatantly stated, but is implied). I've lived in a country with women like the ones you're seeking. And even though the divorce rate is extremely low, these people are not in happy marriages for the most part. Especially those our age. Yes I believe what you say is true about the unhappy marriages. I actually don't even think it's american women (the ones I'm talking about) fault they're like this. I think the media and men are behind a lot of this shyt, but that's neither here nor there. My bad, I should have phased my OP "things aren't working out with western women" I just think things are out of hand and I'm looking for a solution. I have no desire to back to traditionalism. For one, I'm a clean freak and don't mind cleaning. lol Also because on my salary, I make pretty good money, but it's never enough. I aiming to fix some of the other problems I mentioned which are a bigger deal than getting my meals cooked and my laundry done. Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Can definitely see the appeal. Dated a Sikh girl from Kenya once. Had the most beautiful henna drawings on her body for weddings/holidays. Sometimes felt like dating a character out of 1001 nights. She was very much not submissive though. Rather agressive in wants and needs which I can appreciate. My first ltr was Italian and more of the good wife mindset. No fun though as you are at the mercy of your inlaws approval and wims. I think in the strong familial cultures your relationship is never a self contained unit but you are practically dating each other families. Which takes a lot of adjusting if you are from a more individual focussed background. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 But I think those men who want to seek true love in other cultures might be more helped seeking it in them rather than outside their culture. Especially since my last ltr which I let go way too far and doing some soul searching I think that is the case. Men and women both are taught the man should provide for and protect the woman leading to the expectation of the man giving and the woman recieving. In itself that is fine, and has been since forever, but some including me take that way too far. I should learn/work on to stop being taken for granted and mistreated in the name of being the caregiver and demand being an equal partner. In effect, stand up for my needs, learn to say 'eff off and walk away when necessary. All hypothetical, but I think that new found attitude will help me choose a better partner (in my own culture ) Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I know plenty of guys whose American wife left him, cheated on him, or screwed him over. Unless you live at the YMCA, don't you also know some women who's husbands have cheated on them and left for younger/greener pastures ??? Thanks to my buddy, I have now met a few guys who have successfully married an Asian woman, and those guys are the happiest husbands I know. There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting a partner that prioritizes and defers to your wants and needs in a relationship. That's why I'm surprised you look down on (American) women that might want the same thing... Mr. Lucky 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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