OLD The truth about what really works for guys.

[USMCHokie]

The games & flaking & deceit goes both ways. The more options a male or female has online the more inclined they will be to do this imo.

 

As for women being played, yes plenty are, but also plenty are having a lot of fun bonking good looking players. First date sex is the more the norm for the successful OLD guys I know (so they say), and the women are not dippy teens. They know what they are doing. Still for LT relationship minded women they need to be savvy when it comes to guys that appear a little too good to be true. Still lots of guys who are not obvious players have jumped on that bandwagon I reckon after getting disillusioned with finding a decent girl for a gf and hearing tales of how much action their more desirable friends are getting.

 

Indeed, it goes both ways. My SO told me about the time before we met when she'd be on Match and literally have a date every day of the week, sometimes twice in the same day (one for lunch and one for dinner)...I'm not sure how far it got with these dates, but I'm sure it's easier for an average woman to take advantage of this, get a ton of free food, and then get fat from eating out all the time...

[PegNosePete]

It's now just a big ol mess for men & women. Too many games and deceitful people have ruined it.

Well, they haven't "ruined it" for the 17% of marriages in the US last year which came from online dating, or the 20% of all current committed relationships in the US that began online.

 

Online Dating Statistics | Statistic Brain

 

In fact I would say this proves that despite all the bitter and jaded people out there, overall OLD is extremely successful and a very good way to meet a long-term partner.

[the tank]

It's easy to get date as men on OLD, but getting a relationship...I delete my account one week ago after three months of use .

 

It wasnt a lost of time since I learnt a lot about myself , what I want in a relationship and that my time is precious... I dont want anymore to chase or to go in date just because I fear to be alone.

 

How to get answer ? A good picture and opener . Be original

[isisisweeping]

There have been a couple threads in the past couple of days about OLD. Did it work, did it not work? Most guys said it's a waste of time. Guys message girls that don't respond, so they message the next and the next, until they hit the bottom of the barrel with girls 2 times their size. I've seen so many great profiles on okcupid redit from fairly good looking guys having no luck. There's always somebody that pops up online saying the problem is you, work on yourself. Well the problem is you, unfortunately there's only so much you can do to improve yourself. From send better messages than "hi, hello" to read their profile and find common interest to any other tip. I myself 31 5'11" 180 lbs had really bad results with girls age 21-35, I think maybe older people have better results, IDK.

 

 

My ex husband does very, very well at online dating and he's obese (with thinner, pretty girls.) Of the guys I'm messaging, some say it's hard out there and some say they were overwhelmed with responses. I don't really see a huge difference between the two groups, except the latter is more confident in general, tend to be more aggressive/dominant/natural leaders, and are exceptionally well-spoken. The ones overwhelmed I know are 40 but dating in the 25-35 range, but I don't know if that's a coincidence. That's all I know, not being a guy.

 

As a female, I like someone who read my profile, who had good answers to the questions along the lines of what I think (Profile means a lot. It's worth the effort.), and shows consistent interest and enthusiasm.

 

 

 

 

Oh and I met my ex-husband through online dating when it was less common. We were together a long time and I still think he's a great guy.

Edited July 30, 2014 by isisisweeping

[antonio1149]

My ex husband does very, very well at online dating and he's obese (with thinner, pretty girls.)

 

I find this hard to believe, unless your ex has a very high-earning, high powered career and makes this blatantly obvious in his profile ("Hi, I'm Dr. Jones, I may be fat but look at my mansion and my Porsche."). Or unless he's targeting older, not-very-good-looking women.

 

Someone commented earlier that good-looking guys are having no luck. Many have spoken about the out of whack men/women ratio causing even average-looking women to become extremely picky. The "thin, pretty" girls are the ones everyone contacts and therefore are guaranteed to be the most picky. It can't simultaneously be true that great looking guys are having trouble scoring with even average women, but obese guys are a hit with the top 5% quality women. It's not logical.

 

Personally, I think the guys who brag about all the chicks they hook up with through OLD are blowing smoke.

Edited July 30, 2014 by antonio1149

[isisisweeping]

I find this hard to believe, .

 

 

 

Don't know what to tell you. I don't know about top 5% because that's not how I see people and that's not what I said, but they are quite attractive and not fat. I've met several.

 

 

He is very successful but it's not a point in his profile.

 

 

I can't speak to what people's issues are or how these supposedly good looking guys are striking out.

[Sith Apprentice]

overweight men are invisible online. End of story. He's either a liar trying to make himself look good or he's dating FUG's.

[Dork Vader]

Did not read all the post and do not need too.

 

 

I have had a lot of success with internet dating when I'm trying.

 

 

You really have to cast a wide net with your profile. But you can NOT be generic. You have to stand out from the crowd yet not be so specific that you can only catch one type of fish. You have to look serious about dating with out looking desperate. But you also do NOT want to look like you only want something casual.

 

 

You can not post selfies, pictures of you with hats on side ways. Or in General any type of picture you would find under a google image search of "douchebag"

 

 

You MUST read their profiles.

 

 

No matter what getting attention is going to take some work. While I have gotten numerous dates I have NOT had anything last off of net dating. So far a lot of the woman I've met had some serious baggage. If baggage was not the issue lack of chemistry was. I did meet ONE woman who was absolutely amazing. Problem was she worked WAY to much.

 

 

You're not going to get responses from the vast majority of women you meet. Of those fewer will give you their number. Of the numbers you get fewer will go on a date.

[SJC2008]

Women are the pursued gender so if a woman resorts to OLD it's because she has unrealistic expectations, is rebounding or is very shy. In many cases, you can say it because of unrealistic expectations *and* ...

 

Of the six women I've dated IRL, three were above average and one was below. That means 50% of the women I have dated IRL were above average. Of the 12 women I have had dates with/dated online, one can be considered above average, that's 8%! Why is this??

[SJC2008]

10 char

 

 

 

HOKIE! What's up? I graudated from college in December!

[ascendotum]

overweight men are invisible online. End of story. He's either a liar trying to make himself look good or he's dating FUG's.

 

Maybe he weighs 330 lb (hence obese def) but is 6'5 and built like a lumberjack. Any guy that waddles & jiggles when he walks is not going to get pretty thin things online. No way, though she did say thinner girls. I guess a 280 lb woman is thinner for a 330 lb guy.

[jay1983]

I'm with ktya - OLD works like a champ. Like an ATM for women.

 

Other things: avoid all that PUA crap. In my experience, most decent women on OLD are get this, looking to actually meet a genuine man.

 

 

This thread is vomit worthy and I'm deleting my OLD account within the next 3 minutes.

 

An ATM for women? But you're looking to bait someone looking for something genuine?

 

Disgusting.

 

This mentality seriously ruins OLD for ACTUAL genuine men looking for a quality woman, and now I wouldn't even know who to trust at all on that thing.

 

This thread....wow. Just wow. You guys disgust me.

 

I'm seriously depressed now.

 

The two of you, please peep game. There's a correlation here and I think this guy spells it out perfectly.

 

OP you're a good looking guy, no homo. Don't let OLD lower your standards because that's what it does. The mai problem is that men usually outnumber women and many men date down for easy sex so the women get big headed because they're attracting better men than they did IRL. Well, they get pumped and dumped and wonder what they they did wrong and still ignore them men in their league. Those are two factors that will cause most men to quit before they get their first date. Even if my men date down example isn't true you're still at a numerical disadvantage.

 

Most of my attention on POF came from BBWs and I'm not "Big and tall". So if BBWs are going for me, a cute chunky guy, Imagine what men average/cute women are going for!!!

 

Old doesn't work for most people because most men are just looking for sex/cheating and most women are dating up or are rebounding.

[jay1983]

Shouldn't be a surprise AT ALL. Men are playing women like the ATM, as mentioned here, with OLDing. All they have to do is ACT like they are interested for a few texts. Show up for 2 dates and women feel the "connection" think he's the one. Every week here you see women wondering why the guy went poof 90% of the time it's was from OLDing. I'm glad the men on this thread are being so honest. Maybe some women will finally open their eyes to how horribly they are being played with OLDing.

 

Start the countdown for the inevitable....well I met the love of my life there blah blah blah. Good for you! The TRUTH is the VAST majority of women are being played for fools online.

 

It's now just a big ol mess for men & women. Too many games and deceitful people have ruined it.

 

I think you said it right too.

[Eau Claire]

Millions of people have met their partner on OLD....including me.

 

Advice...listen to those in life who are positive and successful and not the whiners and losers. You don't learn to play guitar from someone who can't play...you learned from someone with talent. You don't learn to speak French from someone who can't speak it...you learn about how to be successful with OLD and other relationships from those with successful relationships...not the moaning negative unsuccessful.

[jay1983]

Let me clarify some things. I got a lot of hits on OKcupid, I even got that stupid "you are hot" approval thing they have. It's just that the girls I liked and really wanted to meet, weren't serious about it. They were just bored and wanted some attention, deleted their profiles after a week or 2. AKA attention whores.

 

@Normal person - I started to take your advice when you told me you used a paid site. I thought that would weed out the attention whores. So I did a quick search on match and I swear, right on the first and second page, were 5 of the same attention whores that I chatted with on OKcupid. They put their pics on there, but I doubt they paid to use it.

 

The girls that I actually met were very misleading. For example one was 50 lbs heavier than in her pics talking bout she gained a few pounds since. Another look normal in her pics and looked like a straight up crackhead when I saw her in person, with black in her teeth, ect. Another was really small, cute looking but had 2 kids, a ****ty job and a ton of problem, took 2 different psych meds, would flake and then call me back and set something up, meet, than flake again. lol no lie.

 

If I were to bang the big girls and some other that just didn't meet my very realistic standards, I could have had great success, but I don't wanna add to this fu*ked up cycle of sh*t.

[jay1983]

Millions of people have met their partner on OLD....including me.

 

Advice...listen to those in life who are positive and successful and not the whiners and losers. You don't learn to play guitar from someone who can't play...you learned from someone with talent. You don't learn to speak French from someone who can't speak it...you learn about how to be successful with OLD and other relationships from those with successful relationships...not the moaning negative unsuccessful.

 

Your a little older. I think women start to really mature get realistic around your age, but that's neither here nor there.

[Woldemar]

Well, this is an eye-opener. I'm curious to know if "seeing 9 women and sleeping with 3" gameplay holds true for the majority of men, or is there still hope? Are we, the hopeless romantics, setting ourselves up for failure by joining the OLD scene?

 

I get plenty of attention from men in real life, sometimes overwhelmingly so. But as I grew older and got more experienced, I've become very picky. I figured joining an OLD website would increase my chances of meeting that special someone... or so I thought?

 

I've gone on several dates, none of which have sparked up my interest...great men, all showed interest in pursuing it further (again, so I thought?), but the chemistry just wasn't there, so I never took it to the next level (kissing, sex, etc.) with any of them and politely "friendzoned" them.

 

Until I met this one guy. He is basically a replica of everything I'm looking for in a partner. Now that I've read this thread however, I'm starting to think I might have landed the type described here. He tends to disappear every once in a while, and yet when we're together makes me feel like we have a really strong connection. This was confusing me to no end, to the point where I started to question my own worth. Having read this thread was like a splash of cold water on my face. But glad I found this. Just really disappointed, and still very curious - is this really how the majority of men in the OLD world think? No hope? Maybe a little?

[Andy_K]

Having read this thread was like a splash of cold water on my face. But glad I found this. Just really disappointed, and still very curious - is this really how the majority of men in the OLD world think? No hope? Maybe a little?

 

Not the majority, a minority. A small group of the guys who are especially good at creating that 'chemistry' feeling with women. If they made you feel it, they can almost certainly do the same with others too. Guys that are good at dating don't get that way by accident, they do it by dating a lot.

 

There are exceptions to every rule. I hope your guy is one.

[PegNosePete]

What this says is that OLD works...for some people. You can't tell someone who has had a horrible OLD experience that they are mistaken because of some stats you read online. I know people who use OLD to get laid, and get laid often, but everyone else I know on there has just seen failure.

Of course it works for some people and not others. But just because one person (or many people) has had a horrible experience, doesn't mean "it doesn't work!!!". It works for some but not others. The fact that 17% of all marriages last year began from an OLD site means that it works for A LOT of people.

 

Generally those who fail at it, are incredibly bad at it. Their photos and profiles are terrible. And rather than following advice and fixing it, they just blame the tool, quit, turn bitter and tell everyone about how rubbish it is. Well sorry but it does work, you're just using it wrong!

[Diezel]

At any given time, I could be going out with 3 women through OLD. It's just that sometimes it takes a little too much work and they might not be quality women.

 

Specially with the way apps have taken over? Now you are lucky if you can get someone to respond with anything longer than a sentence. It's a huge turn-off.

 

Once you learn how to maneuver yourself through OLD, it gets a little easier.

 

But to say that the men posting here are "disgusting" or whatever... well, I guess it's easy to say such a thing when your inbox (as a female) is consistently having messages being sent to. I wish I could sit back and take my pick of the crop of 15 men a day.

[isisisweeping]

Maybe he weighs 330 lb (hence obese def) but is 6'5 and built like a lumberjack. Any guy that waddles & jiggles when he walks is not going to get pretty thin things online. No way, though she did say thinner girls. I guess a 280 lb woman is thinner for a 330 lb guy.

 

 

Okay, I was a size 2/4 when I was with him. One of his girlfriends now is a size 4 and the other is a size 6. They are pretty - I'd say prettier than me. (He is poly.) Another girl is a 10 or 12 I'd guess, I haven't talked to her, so a little chubby. He sees beauty in a lot. I always appreciated that about him.

 

 

He is 6'4. He is obese by body fat not just weight, though he does carry it well.

 

 

*shrug* just reporting what I've seen. I've got no skin in the game.

Edited July 31, 2014 by isisisweeping

[Keenly]

I feel like people are looking at the wrong statistics.

 

The 17% of marriages stat means absolutely nothing...

 

Look at the statistics of the # of people looking and the frequency of their messaging / initiations / searches and compare that to the number of relationships that actually form from this interactions and I have a feeling it will be less than 5%, which by any form of measurement is an abject failure.

[Eau Claire]

I feel like people are looking at the wrong statistics.

 

The 17% of marriages stat means absolutely nothing...

 

Look at the statistics of the # of people looking and the frequency of their messaging / initiations / searches and compare that to the number of relationships that actually form from this interactions and I have a feeling it will be less than 5%, which by any form of measurement is an abject failure.

 

The negative whiners see abject failure.

 

My guy is confident. He met me. We are great together.

[PegNosePete]

I feel like people are looking at the wrong statistics.

How about this statistic then?

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/481786-online-dating-did-does-work-you

52% of Loveshack voters are either in a relationship from OLD or have had many dates from OLD.

23% found it a waste of time and effort.

The happy customers outnumber the unhappy ones by more than 2x.

[mattny]

Just food for thought, some women complain about guys bringing multiple women on dates...yet I could go dig up several articles from womens magazines recommending to date 3 men at a time....double standard?

 

I set up another 3 dates this weekend. One yesterday, friday and saturday. Yesterday I went running with a girl around Central Park. The most unique date I had, we were both comfortable in our environment and really hit it off. I have a lot of fun with OLD so far and havent touched any of the mainstream sites, and met some really awesome people from all walks of life.