You girls should never have problem finding a BF

[hotpotato]

I don'twant a woman who dominates me because I hate being controlled but I don't want to dominate a woman as well. In my relationship we truly have an equal relationship and that is what I prefer. Nobody is trying to compete or outshine the other.

 

No one tries to compete, thats just how it happens. This is especially true if the woman is strong and bright and capable and the guy is average.

 

I still maintain that most men do not want to be take on the traditionally female role.

[Do_The_Herp]

I remember there was a get together where me and both of the guys were talking, and they were both saying things like "Man, I have no game, I'm so bad with girls" and in my head I'm thinking "WTF - I would happily date either of you, I like both of you! Aghh!" - I kinda came to the conclusion that it's quite unlikely that either of them would openly talk about failing with girls in front of me, if they actually had interest in me.

 

Wish I was one of them, jeez.. Then again, I would be one of them, I'm the kind of person to jokingly say that sort of stuff around a girl, while still desiring them, never making a move. I'll bet at least one girl that I've known fleetingly in my life has felt that way about me. lol

 

Probably counter-productive to say the least , but I figure if a girl really likes me for who I am, she's not going to give a hoot and suddenly go cold because I mentioned that I have no game or suck with women, you'd think that they'd see it as a golden opportunity to snag an otherwise great guy, who's merely had bad luck. Maybe I'm too optimistic.

[Woggle]

No one tries to compete, thats just how it happens. This is especially true if the woman is strong and bright and capable and the guy is average.

 

I still maintain that most men do not want to be take on the traditionally female role.

 

Alot of women lose attraction when a man does. Most men would probably not have an issue with it if they didn't know that fact.

[MidwestUSA]

It works for me, a car has to have the right feel to it. It should look good, run smoothly and not have any screws loose. Inspect carefully before making that commitment and handing over the cash..make sure you don't pick a dud because you will be paying for it years to come. They take regular maintenance. You don't want to end up stranded on the side of the road because of a blowout. Want me to continue? Great analogy I think it was Keenly who started that one .

 

Cup-holders. You forgot the cup-holders. Bonus points if my drink of choice is continually topped off without my having to ask, and spills are cleaned up promptly.

 

 

I find the navigation system annoying and unnecessary; I got where I am in life because I know where I'm going. Don't need any further help with that.

[hotpotato]

How are you dominating? Why would you want to or even think that you are?

 

You probably think guys don't come up to you because they are afraid of comparing up to you. I think it's just because they got better things to do. Who the **** wants to put up with **** where there shouldn't be ****.

 

 

 

What I am looking for is like;

 

If you got rid of everything that is spiritually superficial (what I think it is), job, home, income, fancy degree....all the things used for measuring cock....you know, stuff you brag about that when you are dead and gone is of no matter. If you got rid of that and we are still right for each other and that would be the girl I'd want.

 

Women that concerns themselves with "who wears the pants", is competing. We shouldn't be competing. I love her and this is what she has to offer and it doesn't matter to me how much that is. She is seperate from that.

 

I'm not exactly dominating or bossy. In fact, I start dating a guy, and I become too nice. If you are assuming I am domineering, you are assuming wrong. I would never want to be in a position in which I had to tell a grown man what to do.

 

I've tried not to concern myself with who wears the pants, but it turns out that a lot of men do care. Most men do not want to be outshone by the wife, they dont want her to be in charge, etc.

 

Most women don't have to worry about this, but I'm not most women. I'm different.

 

No where else is that controversial, except in this thread.

 

If you are trying to say men don't come up to me because I'm a beeyotch, that wouldn't make any sense. If a man is cold approaching, he doesn't know anything about me besides what I look like. Besides, I've already had guys tell me they would never approach me in person, and their reasons had nothing to do with my temperament.

[hotpotato]

Alot of women lose attraction when a man does. Most men would probably not have an issue with it if they didn't know that fact.

 

Men who don't taking the traditionally female constitute a niche.

[Under The Radar]

Nice doesn't equal attraction.

 

 

Attraction, often times, is something we cannot even put our finger on.

 

 

Yes, with men, a large part of attraction is going to be physically based.

 

 

This is why we see books like "Men Who Love Hot Bitches" (NO, I don't own this book - LOL).

 

 

It's not that men love bitches (trust me on this). It's that men are often attracted to the physical. Women are too, but in my experience men tend to focus much more heavily on appearances. Thus, many men put up with bitchy behavior from good looking women.

 

 

Attraction ...... that X factor ...... gets A LOT of people into bed together ...... many people who don't really know the other individual they are having sex with.

 

 

It's almost like the Universe is playing a cruel joke on us at times because: That initial attraction ...... you know, the butterflies in the stomach ...... they go away. That's why we all know the courtship phase to be called the Honeymoon Stage of a relationship ...... lasting 6 months to two years (though in my experience it's usually a year or less).

 

 

Then you hit the second stage of a relationship: The Power Struggle Stage ...... and real problems arise that involve other characteristics beyond attraction to solve ...... to truly be compatible with another human being ...... male or female.

 

 

Attraction, many times, doesn't consider important intangible qualities critical to relationship survival and ultimately growth. Qualities such as communication, trust, patience, empathy, forgiveness, open mindedness, compassion, kindness, respect, selflessness ...... and the list goes on and on. Many people will need qualities like these to sustain a long term committed relationship.

 

 

Most of us, especially as we grow older, and experience failed relationships, begin to appreciate the intangible qualities expressed above. Those qualities become attractive to many of us, but it takes time to see them legitimately established in a prospective mate.

 

 

OLD, for instance, makes it almost impossible to quickly determine if someone meets many of the important traits. Many people are selecting dates based in large part on physical appearance ...... which IS critical for attraction. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, physical attraction alone doesn't guarantee anything ...... especially something like a long term happy and sustainable marriage.

 

 

So, is it easier for the average woman to get sex if she wants?

 

 

Yes, it is.

 

 

Is it easier for women, rather than men, to find a long term sustainable relationship as mentioned above?

 

 

The answer is a resounding no, it is not.

[somedude81]

This doesn't make sense to me.

 

Men would happily compete now, but won't because I'm taken? What about when I was single? What reason was there then?

 

 

Single for 6 years, but you'd say that men were competing and I was unaware of it? I don't see how that could be possible. It's not like I was turning anyone down...

 

 

OLD is the only scenario where the competing made sense. My boyfriend was blindly competing against a few other guys. He had no idea who I was competing against or how many there were, all he knew was that he wanted to date me and was going to make that happen.

 

 

Out of all the men who talked to me on OLD, he's the only one who actually asked for a date. So he got it.

 

 

So simple. All he had to do was ask me on a date. No jumping through hoops. No doing anything fancy. Just ask me for a date. Boom. Done.

 

 

All these suggestions of having to compete so hard and make all these perfect moves to win the girl - in reality, all it takes is asking her out.

Seriously? He was the only guy that asked you out? I thought you had several guys messaging you and asking you out. And that you at least went out with a couple of guys.

 

Honestly I'm stunned.

 

I can't believe he was the only guy that actually asked you out on a date. And then he basically became your boyfriend on the second date.

 

Well I guess you're really lucky things are working out with him.

My experience is extremely relevant to the thread topic. Therefore I'm discussing it.

 

 

I don't expect when things go good for you that you'll totally forget about your past and present struggles.

When I was with my ex, I almost completely stopped posting here. There was a four month period where I didn't make any threads and I sporadically logged in to give advice and joke around.

 

When I was with her, my past didn't matter. My issues were irrelevant. She was my present and I was happy. There weren't any struggles that I wan't able to quickly work out with her.

[hotpotato]

@Enigma

Im very different from most women. Yes, I can be intimidating. Its not something I try to do. Ive had multiple guys tell me im more in shape than them, too smart, too this, too that. They are guys who have never met, but yet they tell me the same thing. Plus, I dont have this issue with men who are very macho. Its a huge difference between dating an average man and one more comfortable in his masculine identity. But ok, these guys are just making things up.

 

Besides, if I try to stay in shape, why should I have to settle for a man who doesnt?

 

Ive tried dating average me . They save a few, dont want me. What should I do?

 

I have never tried to make any man look like a beeyotch, unless working out, loving books, and having a couple hobbies that are not traditionally feminine is considered trying to make a man look like a beeyotch.

[Els]

No one should adjust their requirements. If either gender is looking for a sports car, and they keep adjusting their standards once, twice, three times, eventually they and up with a Honda civic and a whole bunch of unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

 

You like what you like. You can't change what you like.

 

I have to ask, what is up with people and Honda hate? Even Rodgers made a few allusions in his manifesto to guys in Hondas getting girls (gasp, the horror!).

 

I had a Honda, it was a perfectly fine car!

[Otty]

Obviously, women do receive much more interest in online dating and it's pretty obvious why. There is plenty of research out there to support the fact that women are only attracted to about 10-15% of the male population (and mostly to the same men). Men, on the other hand, would be prefectly content with sex or a relationship with 50% of the female population. Since most women are chasing the same small group of men, these men get tons of attention and other men very little.

 

To compound this situation, a rapdily increasing number of women today have illegitimate children (48% of births to women 18-30 in the U.S), are morbidly obese, or date interracially (not an issue except most interracial relationships are black men/white women and white men/asian women rather than black women/white men or asian men/white women), which leaves men in general, and to an even larger extent, certain subsets of men, without many options. It's simple supply and demand: you have a huge number of average men, who would have married 30, 50 or 75 years ago, who vastly outnumber the numbers of eligible women. Throw in women's pickyness in only finding attraction to 10-15% of the male population, and you are left with the environment we have today.

[MidwestUSA]

I have to ask, what is up with people and Honda hate? Even Rodgers made a few allusions in his manifesto to guys in Hondas getting girls (gasp, the horror!).

 

I had a Honda, it was a perfectly fine car!

 

Honda/Acura has the BEST A/C!!!

[Phoe]

Seriously? He was the only guy that asked you out? I thought you had several guys messaging you and asking you out. And that you at least went out with a couple of guys.

 

Honestly I'm stunned.

 

I can't believe he was the only guy that actually asked you out on a date. And then he basically became your boyfriend on the second date.

 

Nope, he's the only one I went out with, cause he was the only one who asked me to go on a date.

 

 

Others were messaging me and having nice conversations with me, but no asking out happened.

 

 

Then I went out with my boyfriend, things were awesome, we decided we didn't want to date others and my profile was deleted in a few days.

 

 

There's no telling whether the other guys were just taking their time with deciding whether they wanted to ask me out, or if they had no intentions to and were simply chatting with me.

[Under The Radar]

just got called a racist again

 

 

 

Uh, I'm still looking for the first time you were called a racist .

 

 

Dude, are you schizophrenic or am I?

 

 

Doesn't matter ...... no judgments in my book - LOL.

[hotpotato]

People make things up all the time. There are all sorts of cliches for breaking up with someone, usually used to soften the blow. "It's not you, it's me," "I'm just not ready for a relationship," ect. I hang out at the gym sometimes. There are plenty of women there in ridiculous shape. Those are the girls that have the most men after them. We aren't afraid of them. My guess is there is something else going on.

 

So the guy who said he loved me and is painfully honest with me much of tge time is lying? Ok! Being sexually attracted to someone isnt the same as wanting to date or marry them. Of course, a lot of women get sex thrown at them.

 

Most people end up with so eone who looks like them and shares their core values. Some couples look enough alike to be bro and sis, have similar bodies, etc.

 

Im not saying the intimidation is the only issue, but it complicates relationships.

 

I wonder if you could get an honest answer out of one of your male acquaintances. Maybe you could ask him why he thinks you have trouble dating. I have a couple female friends who call me to get guy answers sometimes because they know I don't BS them.[/Quote]

I have problems dating because Im very, very different from most women. Ive already had people here and elsewhere tell me what the issues are. The people in this thread are trying to tell me something different. Because people in this thread are espousing ideas like give average guys a chance and believe women should settle, im being told completely different things.

 

 

 

No, none of those things should be turnoffs. If you are into a lot of the same things guys are, many men see that as a plus, because we can do them together.

But theres the problem. Im telling you from first hand experience, having a lot of male interests doesnt necessarily make a woman romantically attractive. It can make her seem like one of the boys but not gf material. This is coming from a girl who gets called "brah."

[MidwestUSA]

Uh, I'm still looking for the first time you were called a racist .

 

 

Dude, are you schizophrenic or am I?

 

 

Doesn't matter ...... no judgments in my book - LOL.

 

Do not feed, can't you read the signs?

 

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs. Blockin' out the scenery....

 

Nevermind. Take my meds.

[Do_The_Herp]

Obviously, women do receive much more interest in online dating and it's pretty obvious why. There is plenty of research out there to support the fact that women are only attracted to about 10-15% of the male population (and mostly to the same men). Men, on the other hand, would be prefectly content with sex or a relationship with 50% of the female population. Since most women are chasing the same small group of men, these men get tons of attention and other men very little.

 

To compound this situation, a rapdily increasing number of women today have illegitimate children (48% of births to women 18-30 in the U.S), are morbidly obese, or date interracially (not an issue except most interracial relationships are black men/white women and white men/asian women rather than black women/white men or asian men/white women), which leaves men in general, and to an even larger extent, certain subsets of men, without many options. It's simple supply and demand: you have a huge number of average men, who would have married 30, 50 or 75 years ago, who vastly outnumber the numbers of eligible women. Throw in women's pickyness in only finding attraction to 10-15% of the male population, and you are left with the environment we have today.

 

Rapdily? RAPDILY YOU SAY? HOly ****, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHY ARE THE WHOSITS RAPDILY INCREASING THE WHATSITS? OH LAWDY ALL OF US SINGLE GUYS IS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED brb

[Under The Radar]

Rapdily? RAPDILY YOU SAY? HOly ****, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHY ARE THE WHOSITS RAPDILY INCREASING THE WHATSITS? OH LAWDY ALL OF US SINGLE GUYS IS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED brb

 

 

 

Holy **** ...... now I need some meds .

[somedude81]

You are a complete outlier. I'm willing to bet 95% of the single men on this site would kill to have a girlfriend like yourself. You seem very sweet and your avatar proves you're very attractive. I honestly have no answer as to why you struggled so mightily?

 

Heh, Phoe is practically my dream girl and I've had a crush on her, off and on for almost two years.

 

But I never made a move for various reasons and she got snatched up.

 

As the saying goes, "you snooze, you lose."

[Els]

There is plenty of research out there to support the fact that women are only attracted to about 10-15% of the male population (and mostly to the same men).

 

Really? Why don't you go ahead and cite it?

 

(Hopefully you know what sources actually count as 'research')

 

women today have illegitimate children /QUOTE]

 

Never really thought I'd hear that word from someone who purportedly comes from a developed country.

[Under The Radar]

Really? Why don't you go ahead and cite it?

 

(Hopefully you know what sources actually count as 'research')

 

 

 

a racist again

 

 

Uh, no ...... Elswyth is NOT a racist, but......

 

 

...... thanks to your post she'll need to take meds now, too.

 

 

As usual, thanks for chiming in - LOL.

[somedude81]

Since the topic of girls lifting and having muscle has come up, and it's probably deserving of it's own thread, I'd still comment.

 

To me, a woman having muscle is sexy as hell. While my ex did not lift weights, she did ballet since she was 6, and her legs and butt were phenomenal. I was jealous of her calves they were so nice. It was just so hot to stroke her legs.

 

Though also important, she had big boobs and a squishy belly. For me, a hard stomach on a woman is a big turnoff.

[Under The Radar]

FYI, ballet dancers of either gender are known for having phenomenal calf development ...... from years of being in the contracted position for the lower leg (up on the tip of their toes).

 

 

SD, if *I* ever become president, I'll make you the official national judge of female calf development.

 

 

...... I wouldn't hold your breath .

[Els]

 

Though also important, she had big boobs and a squishy belly. For me, a hard stomach on a woman is a big turnoff.

 

Interesting. I hadn't known that belly squishyness was a turn on; I'd always assumed that guys were just fine with them because they were one of the things that came with the whole package.

 

Might explain why my guy seems to enjoy grabbing the love handles.

[somedude81]

FYI, ballet dancers of either gender are known for having phenomenal calf development ...... from years of being in the contracted position for the lower leg (up on the tip of their toes).

Yeah, it really helps their calves.

 

I'll never forget the memory of her going on pointe to kiss me after she showed me her shoes and a quick little demo.

 

SD, if *I* ever become president, I'll make you the official national judge of female calf development.

Awesome.

 

Of course it's a visual and hands on judging procedure.

...... I wouldn't hold your breath .

Too late, I've already started thinking about proper categories.

 

 

 

Interesting. I hadn't known that belly squishyness was a turn on; I'd always assumed that guys were just fine with them because they were one of the things that came with the whole package.

 

Might explain why my guy seems to enjoy grabbing the love handles.

Yeah grabbing love handles is definitely something I was thinking of. I also like to give a little belly poke.

 

Women should be soft on their torso.