You girls should never have problem finding a BF

[Salvatore85]

While I agree with the first paragraph I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I read the second.

Such a hilariously incorrect generalisation.

 

How is it incorrect? Somedude whines constantly about not being able to find a girl, however he then goes on to describe what he wants in a female and you'll realize why he's in the predicament he's in. He could find the perfect girl who peaks his interest in every way but if she's not petite with huge tits and ten years younger than him, he's simply not interested.

 

People need to understand their own self worth when analyzing potential mates. If she's beautiful and you're average looking by all means take a chance but don't freak out when she's not interested. The same way you come off as very intelligent and I highly doubt you want to settle for a female who couldn't keep up with you intellectually-wise. Having standards is wonderful, but you better make sure you live up to them as well when you're holding someone else to them....

[Salvatore85]

LOl my problem has been that I wasn't picky enough. Despite what some people imply, average or less attractive men cheat and leave just like the hot ones do. LOL @ problems being caused by being too picky.

 

I'm a good example of why some women just shouldn't "settle." I've tried dating men who were average or below average, which caused a lot of problems.I'm smart and strong willed, which is a turn off to average guys.

 

A man wants more than a woman who is cute...He wants a woman who can make him feel like a MAN. I just can't give that to an average man. There is a small pool of men who will have me long term. I guess its true to say I didn't meet their standards. One could say I came in with no standards which caused everyone a headache.

 

I truly should only be dating a few specific types of man.

 

I could land a guy who is 50 years or older or maybe one who is extremely unattractive, but I don't want either one. So sue me.

 

What's below average to you though? And what exactly is an average man?

[somedude81]

How is it incorrect? Somedude whines constantly about not being able to find a girl, however he then goes on to describe what he wants in a female and you'll realize why he's in the predicament he's in. He could find the perfect girl who peaks his interest in every way but if she's not petite with huge tits and ten years younger than him, he's simply not interested.

That's a huge load of crap and you know it.

 

People need to understand their own self worth when analyzing potential mates. If she's beautiful and you're average looking by all means take a chance but don't freak out when she's not interested. The same way you come off as very intelligent and I highly doubt you want to settle for a female who couldn't keep up with you intellectually-wise. Having standards is wonderful, but you better make sure you live up to them as well when you're holding someone else to them....

That still doesn't explain how to know when a normal girl is out of your league or not.

[hotpotato]

I've never heard that average or less attractive men won't cheat or leave.

 

Though they do have less opportunities then the above average men.

 

Every man has opportunities, though some have to shell out money.

That is the undercurrent of what you and many other men say. If women would just date more average men, then the problems would just disappear. Tbh many average men are paired, so women are picking them.

.

What a huge load a crap.

 

Though what is a turn off is when you keep making assumptions about guys. If you make an assumption and are too strong willed to admit that you're wrong, then that is a turn off to all men.

 

 

Lolz i've had men straight up tell me I was "intimidating" then go on to women who were less so.

 

Attraction 101 most men do not want to be the beeyotch in the relationship.

 

And you can't do that because.....?

 

 

 

What kind of men are they? Men with the patience of a saint?

 

Well, first off , my normal weight is about 150 lbs around 13% body fat. Most men don't want to date a female who is in better shape than they are. So there goes most of the population.

 

With the last guy, he flat out told me I was in better shape than him, smarter than him, I was just too intimidating. No man wants to feel useless or that his date would be fine without him.

 

Yes, he does need to be patient because I am also introverted, which is common to many FAs.

 

I can't do that because...I'm not going to change my personality and stop doing what I love so I can stroke a mans ego.

 

Really?

 

Yes, really, because those are the only guys who will give me the time of day outside OLD.

[hotpotato]

What's below average to you though? And what exactly is an average man?

 

A below average man is a man who is less attractive than most of the male population. Average to me, means just that, average. He's not an outlier as far as being very attractive or very unattractive. I have dated plenty of average guys.

[Salvatore85]

That's a huge load of crap and you know it.

 

 

That still doesn't explain how to know when a normal girl is out of your league or not.

 

How is it crap dude? Your post history is where the majority of this info comes from mate.

 

No one is normal. We all have our own little qwerks and odd-ball moments. We all color outside the lines occasionally the trick is to find someone whom shares that some balance as you. What you deem normal, someone else might consider absolutely crazy. You're currently chasing females much younger than you and it's not working, something has to give. There's probably a girl your age who's good looking and intelligent just waiting for a guy like you to come along...

 

You're a good guy Somedude, you really are. You're passionate about finding the correct person for yourself and that's admirable but you have to realize changing your "ideal" isn't the same as lowering your standards.

[Salvatore85]

A below average man is a man who is less attractive than most of the male population. Average to me, means just that, average. He's not an outlier as far as being very attractive or very unattractive. I have dated plenty of average guys.

 

I don't see how someone's looks determine whether or not they're average or below average? My ex was beautiful and I would consider her below-average due to her terrible attitude towards others.

 

And I apologize if my assumption was off base...

[GoreSP]

You just did a slippery slope logical fallacy.

 

Nobody has to keep lowering and lowering their standards till they are at the absolute bottom.

 

I really want a McLaren P1, but that's way out of my reach for now. So I'm willing to lower my expectations to a Scion FR-S which I will still be incredibly happy with.

 

Bad analogy.

Finding a life partner has nothing to do with buying a car…

[Imajerk17]

I'm just as hard on both genders on here when they talk about frustrations in their dating life.

 

I tell guys who are struggling that they need to take more initiative. I tell women who are struggling that they at least need to put themselves out there differently or they need to reconsider their people-picker.

 

hotpotato, a 150-pound girl who is in shape actually sounds perfect to many men. The girls I usually check out are the curvy-athletic types, but the challenge for myself is that most of them already have rings on their fingers. Where have you been meeting the guys you date? Who do you say yes to? Surely you've had some nice guys ask you out no?

Edited June 8, 2014 by Imajerk17

[hotpotato]

I don't see how someone's looks determine whether or not they're average or below average? My ex was beautiful and I would consider her below-average due to her terrible attitude towards others.

 

And I apologize if my assumption was off base...

 

Most of the time when people rate others it is about looks. Much of the time we dont know that person so looks are all we have to go on.

[somedude81]

Bad analogy.

Finding a life partner has nothing to do with buying a car…

 

Tell that to Keenly. It was his analogy.

[Salvatore85]

Most of the time when people rate others it is about looks. Much of the time we dont know that person so looks are all we have to go on.

 

Maybe that's the issue the majority of us are running into?

[somedude81]

How is it crap dude? Your post history is where the majority of this info comes from mate.

 

 

"He could find the perfect girl who peaks his interest in every way but if she's not petite with huge tits and ten years younger than him, he's simply not interested."

 

 

That whole line is 100% false.

 

I've posted on this board hundreds of time that all I want is a cute, sweet, and not obese. Hell, I actually said that a few posts back.

 

I'm also not turning down girls at all despite what your post seems to suggest. I've also asked out a wide variety of women.

 

What you are talking about is my ideal. And I'm completely fine settling for girls that are not my ideal.

 

 

No one is normal. We all have our own little qwerks and odd-ball moments. We all color outside the lines occasionally the trick is to find someone whom shares that some balance as you. What you deem normal, someone else might consider absolutely crazy.

I already found her

 

And now I have to find another girl who is just like her.

 

 

You're currently chasing females much younger than you and it's not working, something has to give.

The reason I'm chasing women who are much younger than I am, is because that's the women I interact with on a daily basis.

 

I don't have a clue where to meet women who are 25+.

 

And yes, I've been messaging women on OLD up to 30 years old, but I never get a response. So that basically means that my only source of women are college age girls.

 

There's probably a girl your age who's good looking and intelligent just waiting for a guy like you to come along...

I'm sure there is, I just don't know where to look.

 

 

 

You're a good guy Somedude, you really are. You're passionate about finding the correct person for yourself and that's admirable but you have to realize changing your "ideal" isn't the same as lowering your standards.

Thanks.

 

Changing my ideal isn't the same as lowering my standards.

 

I know exactly what my ideal woman is. But I know that she will have no interest in who I am right now.

 

My ex girlfriend was not my ideal woman. And yet I was absolutely crazy about her.

 

I lowered the requirements of ideal woman to girls that I can actually date and still be completely happy with.

[GoreSP]

Tell that to Keenly. It was his analogy.

 

And you continued it...

[Phoe]

If men only cared about women being cute and nice, I'd be married right now.

 

Ditto.

 

 

Nice and cute is not enough. Not even close.

[Phoe]

When those women finally do become single there is lots of competition for them.

 

No man has ever had to compete for me, and I've only ever seen a handful of situations where multiple men were competing for one girl.

 

 

And funny enough, the girl was always what I and many other would consider low quality... like the girl at work who slept with half her department, generally behaved in a slutty manner in public, cheated, got pregnant more than once and got abortions.

 

 

2 men at my work were madly in love with her. She would be with one, cheat, and then leave for the other, then cheat and go back to the other. Back and forth back and forth. Get pregnant. Abort it. Cheat with a RANDOM. Go back to one of the 2 original dudes. Talk crap about BOTH of them around the workplace. Get one of their names tattooed on her.

 

 

Then one of them died. So she goes back to the other one again. And he just eats it up.

 

 

I've never watched guys compete over the really nice high quality girls I know. Only the disaster drama queen ones.

[somedude81]

Ditto.

 

 

Nice and cute is not enough. Not even close.

 

Last time I checked, you are happily in a relationship. So yes, nice and cute is enough....

[MidwestUSA]

Last time I checked, you are happily in a relationship. So yes, nice and cute is enough....

 

She's got more going for her. That wasn't nice.

[Phoe]

Last time I checked, you are happily in a relationship. So yes, nice and cute is enough....

 

It worked this time, yes, but for 25 years, it didn't work well at all.

 

 

There's clearly more to it than just being cute and nice. Because if that was enough, I wouldn't have struggled so pathetically and embarrassingly so.

 

 

If cute and nice was enough, I would've been snatched up quick, and held on to. Probably married with children.

 

 

Instead, I spent 25 years feeling very unwanted, having only a handful of men ever ask me out, went out with all of them but 2, and clearly wasn't good enough considering they cheated and left.

 

 

Cute and nice is not good enough.

[Salvatore85]

Ditto.

 

 

Nice and cute is not enough. Not even close.

 

I disagree Phoe. I think for the majority of men, nice and cute is more than enough. The girl I'm currently seeing is nice and cute, my ex was gorgeous and a bitch. I'd much rather be around the nice and cute one.

[somedude81]

No man has ever had to compete for me,

You probably were not aware of it.

 

Of course, as soon as you started OLD, men were competing for you. Though you cut that competition off very quickly.

 

And even now there are men who would compete for you but since you are happy with your BF, you have no interest in letting those men compete.

 

 

And funny enough, the girl was always what I and many other would consider low quality... like the girl at work who slept with half her department, generally behaved in a slutty manner in public, cheated, got pregnant more than once and got abortions.

 

 

2 men at my work were madly in love with her. She would be with one, cheat, and then leave for the other, then cheat and go back to the other. Back and forth back and forth. Get pregnant. Abort it. Cheat with a RANDOM. Go back to one of the 2 original dudes. Talk crap about BOTH of them around the workplace. Get one of their names tattooed on her.

 

 

Then one of them died. So she goes back to the other one again. And he just eats it up.

 

 

I've never watched guys compete over the really nice high quality girls I know. Only the disaster drama queen ones.

Competition isn't always visible and most of the time those guys who are interested in her, have no idea who they are competing with.

 

Basically, if a woman goes out on four first dates in one month, all those men are in competition with each other.

 

Hell, when I talk with a girl in one of my classes, I'm indirectly competing with all other men she talks to throughout the week. Odds are she'd only go out on date with a couple of the guys she likes best.

 

BTW, that women sounds like somebody to be completely avoided. I really don't know why some guys go after women like that.

[somedude81]

She's got more going for her. That wasn't nice.

 

It was not meant to be taken as an insult....

[Salvatore85]

It worked this time, yes, but for 25 years, it didn't work well at all.

 

 

There's clearly more to it than just being cute and nice. Because if that was enough, I wouldn't have struggled so pathetically and embarrassingly so.

 

 

If cute and nice was enough, I would've been snatched up quick, and held on to. Probably married with children.

 

 

Instead, I spent 25 years feeling very unwanted, having only a handful of men ever ask me out, went out with all of them but 2, and clearly wasn't good enough considering they cheated and left.

 

 

Cute and nice is not good enough.

 

You are a complete outlier. I'm willing to bet 95% of the single men on this site would kill to have a girlfriend like yourself. You seem very sweet and your avatar proves you're very attractive. I honestly have no answer as to why you struggled so mightily?

[Imajerk17]

In fairness to somedude81, I don't think he meant that Phoe was "just" nice and cute.

 

Yes, many men have bad people-pickers too. Many guys are drawn too much to the hot messes.

 

(Look at me, hating on both genders today. Equal-opportunity basher!)

[somedude81]

It worked this time, yes, but for 25 years, it didn't work well at all.

 

 

There's clearly more to it than just being cute and nice. Because if that was enough, I wouldn't have struggled so pathetically and embarrassingly so.

 

 

If cute and nice was enough, I would've been snatched up quick, and held on to. Probably married with children.

 

 

Instead, I spent 25 years feeling very unwanted, having only a handful of men ever ask me out, went out with all of them but 2, and clearly wasn't good enough considering they cheated and left.

 

 

Cute and nice is not good enough.

Does the past matter when you're happy now?

 

From my impression of your poor history with men, you're a bad judge of character. You've dated the wrong guys.

 

OK, so you haven't been asked out a lot. And that's probably because there was something off putting about you.

 

Actually, I remember the PM conversations we had almost two years ago and you did come off a bit awkward and weird. So I'm trying to imagine how you might have been in real life, and I can start to see why you weren't asked out that much even when you were going to college.