People who can't get a date with "anyone"?

[AD1980]

Oh, man, do women ever have to be flexible, too! Do ya'll think you're a prize?

 

ife.

 

Thats because women are attracted to way less% of the male population physically then vice versa.

 

Men can find most halfway decent women attractive women dont,unless youre the streotypical tall dark and handsome male your women only tolerates you physically but she doesnt find you appealing visually at all

Edited May 27, 2014 by AD1980

[SteveC80]

People are individuals. Some short guys and fat chicks are very desired by the opposite sex!

 

Alone and lonely is equivalent to alone and lonely, regardless of shape or size.

 

I agree if short men went for less attractive women theyd have better luck,of course the cute or good looking women with options will all pick the tall guy with thigns goign for him over the short guy with things going for him but if short guys go out with women like fat chicks or kind of blah looking broads who have flaws like them they might have some sucess.

[Weezy1973]

This dude says otherwise:

 

Though I do see what you're saying and am not denying that you should work to be the best you can be.

 

1. That dude is just some random guy on YouTube. When I say there is a lot of evidence to support the idea of leagues, I'm talking about peer reviewed psychology journals. I know you're young, but as a rule, peer reviewed journals trump random Youtube dudes.

 

2. That dude is also talking about getting a date - not actual couples in relationships. I agree that you may be able to get a date with someone out of your league, but the chances of having a relationship (or sex) with someone out of your league are slim to none. And frankly if you're a below average looking guy trying to get a date with a '10', chances are pretty slim as well.

[AD1980]

1. That dude is just some random guy on YouTube. When I say there is a lot of evidence to support the idea of leagues, I'm talking about peer reviewed psychology journals. I know you're young, but as a rule, peer reviewed journals trump random Youtube dudes.

 

2. That dude is also talking about getting a date - not actual couples in relationships. I agree that you may be able to get a date with someone out of your league, but the chances of having a relationship (or sex) with someone out of your league are slim to none. And frankly if you're a below average looking guy trying to get a date with a '10', chances are pretty slim as well.

 

How do you know what your "league" is? People dont walk around with signs that say im a 6 or im a 7

 

And most people arent extremes that make it so obvious you see very few 10's or 1's and 2's out there most people are either average, a little below average or a little above you rarely see gorgeous people or hideous ones

[hasaquestion]

People are attracted to people with similar "value".

 

That's what I don't get about guys who complain about how picky women are. Its far easier to become more "valuable" when you're male, than it is when you are female.

 

For example, join a fraternity. Bingo, you're basically entitled to a bunch of sex and female attention that you might not have gotten otherwise. Why? Just because you're in a frat and girls want to go to your date parties.

 

If you're male and a "4", you can become a "7" by gaining status, applying yourself to lifting, teaching yourself some game, understanding the emotional makeup of the opposite sex, and generally observing the men who outperform their superficial appearance and applying their approach.

 

If you're female and a "4", outside of losing some weight (the analogue of the lifting option above?) you're not going anywhere.

[Weezy1973]

How do you know what your "league" is? People dont walk around with signs that say im a 6 or im a 7

 

And most people arent extremes that make it so obvious you see very few 10's or 1's and 2's out there most people are either average, a little below average or a little above you rarely see gorgeous people or hideous ones

 

Most people inherently know their league (i.e. are self-aware) and most people are attracted mostly to their league.

 

And, yes I agree - most of us are varying degrees of average. The guy in the video I commented on was talking about 10s.

[SJC2008]

I doubt the majority of permasingle men are holding out for porn stars. The main reason many men who struggle with women don't improve is because insecurity in men is a bigger problem than in women. Insecurity is more of a biological thing for women women when it comes to attracting them. Women are supposed to be insecure, men aren't. I'm not saying men don't have a threshold that won't turn them off when it gets crossed but the "allowable" amount is much less when it comes to men.

 

Secondly, we're told to hit the gym, have confidence, be charismatic, funny etc and all the girl has to do is have a vagina. Leagues do exist, I'm a firm beleiver in that but as a "chunky" guy who is cute I can tell you that the vast majirity of cute chunky women are with thin men. Plenty of women with stomachs proportionate to mine have thin BF'S. So I guess I'll have to bust my but in the gym so I can get a chunky girl or start dating BBW's. Men are told to be a million things and women just have to show up.

 

I really regret OLD. After so many rejections and flakes it has made me so insecure and after looking at myself as to what I'm doing wrong I'm so insecure I don't even know how to talk to woman and am literally nervous in their presence.

[Cafe au lait]

People are attracted to people with similar "value".

 

That's what I don't get about guys who complain about how picky women are. Its far easier to become more "valuable" when you're male, than it is when you are female.

 

For example, join a fraternity. Bingo, you're basically entitled to a bunch of sex and female attention that you might not have gotten otherwise. Why? Just because you're in a frat and girls want to go to your date parties.

 

If you're male and a "4", you can become a "7" by gaining status, applying yourself to lifting, teaching yourself some game, understanding the emotional makeup of the opposite sex, and generally observing the men who outperform their superficial appearance and applying their approach.

 

If you're female and a "4", outside of losing some weight (the analogue of the lifting option above?) you're not going anywhere.

 

Alright, I gotta disagree with this one. At least at my school, it's always the men going after the girls- not the other way around. This says to me that guys struggle to find a sex partner, while the girls do not. I don't know of a single female that's had trouble finding a guy to have sex with. The male/female ratio at my school is about 50/50, too.

 

Going from a 4 to a 7 seems rather extreme to me. I know lots of guys that joined a frat to gain the status and attention that you speak of, but it just doesn't happen like that. The most highly sought after guys are ones who would have done just fine had they not joined the frat, simply because they already had the looks and personality to be successful. The ones who thought their desirability would increase upon joining, well, they're not getting laid any more than before (though they do have more male friends and party more because of the frat). I also get the sense that being a male virgin is more embarrassing than being a female virgin.

 

As for females, I can say from experience that makeup does wonders. Someone once commented about a particular sorority at my school that if other sorority girls wore as much makeup and took care of themselves as well as Gammas did, then Gamma girls wouldn't actually be "all that." I agree 100%. Gammas are generally considered the most attractive girls on campus, and they tend to wear makeup and dress well. Other sorority girls don't put as much effort into their appearance, and tend to be more the sporty or nerdy type.

 

So, basically, I think the guys have got it tougher for them.

[somedude81]

Too bad men can't wear makeup and heels.

 

Well, straight men can't

[Cafe au lait]

Forgot about heels- heels = instant posture improvement and confidence booster!

[somedude81]

Forgot about heels- heels = instant posture improvement and confidence booster!

 

Then men should definitely claim heels again. At first it was men's fashion you know?

 

I'll never understood why women who think it's important to be smaller than the man they are dating, wear heels to make themselves taller. That's just counter intuitive.

[justhadto]

Not a 4 by choice and trying very hard to change that.

 

The only reason my looks are bad is because of my height. Though I'm working out and trying to get a nice body and hopefully cancel out my height.

 

The other things about me, education, job, status, They are being worked on though will take time to get results.

 

Unfortunately I'm not attracted to women who are 4's. If I were, I'd probably be much happier.

 

 

I came across one of your threads awhile ago. I was feeling all sorry for you and then I came across a bunch of your post and threads.

 

This guy has no job,education or sex appeal,and is 32?

He wants a girl who is at the oldest...21 is it? Big chest,in shape( he will allow a tiny bit of fat) and HOT!

 

These are the type of people who put all their eggs in one basket and get upset and emo when they can't get someone. You see threads "Girls don't like me" "I give up on women" "Women are B!s" ect ect,but hardly give any detail on what their doing.

 

You don't want a "4" but if she has a job,is fun to be around,nice,selfless and caring what does that make you? You are shallow and self centered.

 

I hope you are doing better about your break up.

 

The thread I read about that was hard to read. First,you think a 21 year old should be crazy mature. Well,she was mature about it. She did it in person and was not harsh. You felt she lied and called her a bitch. You were too old for her and people seemed to think not. You are not going to find many 20 + girls or guys who are going to be anymore better.

 

You also said that you wished they break up could have occurred on your terms. How selfish

 

I am in shape and I never had a problem dating men who weren't. If he is mature and not needy,why not enjoy a could be friendship? You can't even be friends with someone who is not hot...that says alot about you. If you do befriend a heavy person, there is an agenda attached to it.

 

My friends and myself have a system about setting one another up. Would you introduce said girl or guy to your mom,dad,sister or brother?

[regine_phalange]

I know a girl who is quite unlucky in the looks department. She is very overweight with thinning hair (she has a hormonal problem that hasn't been treated yet). She also dresses very boyish. Because of all that, she is a also a bit bitchy. But still, she once had an admirer who really liked her, sent her romantic messages, etc. But she didn't like him back, so they never proceeded in a romance, and she would still complain that she can't get dates. She indeed meant that she didn't get dates with guys she liked. I think it's valid, but semantically incorrect to say that.

[man_in_the_box]

Unfortunately. Nice does not get my penis hard.

 

Ofcourse you can. Just close your eyes, clench your flag and think of the fatherland.

[ltjg45]

It is funny though. During my shift last night, a white woman and her boyfriend came to my line. She was calling me "handsome" and the such, gave me 2 hugs, and even kissed me on the cheek while I was checking them out.

 

Now, I am not the most confident guy out there. With the situation I am in, I have a hard time thinking any woman worth approaching would even want to deal with the mess concerning my family just to be with me. As a result, I didn't feel like I was actually worthy of a relationship.

 

Despite that, it has been quite some time since someone has directly called me "ugly". In fact, I been called "good looking" quite a bit and, I was here wondering what they see in me that I can't see.

 

And then that happens.....in front of her boyfriend. That was a bit embarrassing, to say the least. It is also a shame she is a smoker as well.

 

But it does make me wonder what I would be able to attract once I get out of this family BS I am in. It does make me want to think/daydream about it, as weird as it may be.

[Anela]

So how do you know how low to go?

 

Most men don't want to pursue obese women, regardless if they are obese or not.

 

You've seen the pictures of my and I. Could you imagine me with a woman who was 50 lbs heavier than I am?

 

I could. If you're going to compare everyone to your ex, then you're not going to get very far.

[Anela]

Eh....

 

To a man, none of those things actually matter except for looks.

 

 

They matter to men who actually like women, and want a real partner in life. If nothing matters but looks, then they may as well just get a cardboard cutout to carry around with them.

[AD1980]

I agree if short men went for less attractive women theyd have better luck,of course the cute or good looking women with options will all pick the tall guy with thigns goign for him over the short guy with things going for him but if short guys go out with women like fat chicks or kind of blah looking broads who have flaws like them they might have some sucess.

 

Why does a short man have to be the equivalent of an unattractive women?

 

So a guy whos pretty decent looking sucessful and in good shape is the equivalent to a fat girl or ugly female not a decent looking in shape short women?

 

Shows how more checklists women have then men about physical appereance then.

[Disillusioned]

Wow... it's threads like this that remind me while lovebots would really mess up society, they'd also solve a lot of problems.

[man_in_the_box]

Why does a short man have to be the equivalent of an unattractive women?

 

So a guy whos pretty decent looking sucessful and in good shape is the equivalent to a fat girl or ugly female not a decent looking in shape short women?

 

Shows how more checklists women have then men about physical appereance then.

 

Well good job disparaging overweight and/or unattractive women to bolster your own cause.

[AD1980]

Well good job disparaging overweight and/or unattractive women to bolster your own cause.

 

That wasnt my intention or point i was just pointing out the disparity in what genders consider equal,i see women here all the time say they work out so they want a man who fits their "lifestyle" so why cant a in shape short guy want the same thing? but it appears while women are judged on build men are judged on build AND height..

[man_in_the_box]

I'm sure you can grasp that attraction is much more complicated than merely length/weight.

 

Also I hear much more men stating they never would date an overweight woman than reversed which kind of makes the whole height vs weight/height point moot .

[preraph]

Honestly, I think some of these guys who are only attracted to media women types may have testosterone deficits. Ramp up your testosterone and you may find real women attractive, not just women molded to the image media and porn gives you, which is mostly done with digital enhancement, in case you didn't know.

 

Here's what I do know. Thinking back on people who were wildly successful with the opposite sex, whether male or female, those people I knew like that were average looks, or maybe just a notch above average. One was a woman who was always slightly pudgy but was blond and big boobs, but what drew men was her vivacious personality and she had interesting jobs and was very social and talked to everyone. She'd be considered obese in her 50s and still attracts men. She's been married 30 years though so she's off the market.

 

The other was a very irresponsible man who was in a band part of the time but drove delivery the rest. He wasn't very bright and did hard drugs and was very disorganized and wrecked vehicles a lot, so obviously, not much of a catch. But women loved him because he just thought nearly all women were beautiful and was just genuinely starry eyed over so many of the women in our circle. And so he got laid a lot, but most of the sensible women wouldn't have wanted to marry him because he was so irresponsible, but then he found a "caretaker" type and that's who he ended up with back then.

 

The woman was attracted to a wide variety of male looks, though she was picky about penis size (before she married). She thought some guys were attractive I didn't at all. I know her hormones were pretty high (we lived together).

 

Of course, we can't all be this way. You were raised on tv and porn so you're brainwashed to think one type is attractive, a type that barely even exists. But just saying if you don't think any women (or men) you could get are attractive, might at least do a hormone panel. Women actually don't get this media brainwashing as much toward men since men are in charge of everything and don't understand at all what women think is attractive, so you see goober men with beautiful women on nearly every tv show and movie. Adam Sandler comes to mind. It's brainwashing. What women get is body image problems because they grow up seeing that and thinking it's normal, and it's not.

 

I can tell you if looks is your main prerequisite and you are an ugly goober, then you in order to get someone with looks, you will have to get a total loser that happens to be good looking in order to get the looks you want. And old men do that all the time and they do it with money. So there's your solution.

[AD1980]

Honestly, I think some of these guys who are only attracted to media women types may have testosterone deficits. Ramp up your testosterone and you may find real women attractive, not just women molded to the image media and porn gives you, which is mostly done with digital enhancement, in case you didn't know.

 

Here's what I do know. Thinking back on people who were wildly successful with the opposite sex, whether male or female, those people I knew like that were average looks, or maybe just a notch above average. One was a woman who was always slightly pudgy but was blond and big boobs, but what drew men was her vivacious personality and she had interesting jobs and was very social and talked to everyone. She'd be considered obese in her 50s and still attracts men. She's been married 30 years though so she's off the market.

 

The other was a very irresponsible man who was in a band part of the time but drove delivery the rest. He wasn't very bright and did hard drugs and was very disorganized and wrecked vehicles a lot, so obviously, not much of a catch. But women loved him because he just thought nearly all women were beautiful and was just genuinely starry eyed over so many of the women in our circle. And so he got laid a lot, but most of the sensible women wouldn't have wanted to marry him because he was so irresponsible, but then he found a "caretaker" type and that's who he ended up with back then.

 

The woman was attracted to a wide variety of male looks, though she was picky about penis size (before she married). She thought some guys were attractive I didn't at all. I know her hormones were pretty high (we lived together).

 

Of course, we can't all be this way. You were raised on tv and porn so you're brainwashed to think one type is attractive, a type that barely even exists. But just saying if you don't think any women (or men) you could get are attractive, might at least do a hormone panel. Women actually don't get this media brainwashing as much toward men since men are in charge of everything and don't understand at all what women think is attractive, so you see goober men with beautiful women on nearly every tv show and movie. Adam Sandler comes to mind. It's brainwashing. What women get is body image problems because they grow up seeing that and thinking it's normal, and it's not.

 

I can tell you if looks is your main prerequisite and you are an ugly goober, then you in order to get someone with looks, you will have to get a total loser that happens to be good looking in order to get the looks you want. And old men do that all the time and they do it with money. So there's your solution.

 

Women talk in hyperbole when bringing this up just because a man may not want to date a fat or obese women doesn't most men just want a perfect 10 we just want a women were somewhat physically attracted to not perfection..

[carhill]

I don't know about the hyberbolic part but, reviewing the women I was attracted to, all the way back to early crushes in school, they varied markedly. Some were short, some were tall, some were skinny and some were fat. My first crush was about 5' tall and sort of round but I can still see her face today some 40 years later.

 

The main problem with getting dates wasn't the women, rather me. Those few single women, post high-school anyway, that were around just didn't find me attractive. Nothing more complex than that. It was what it was. No one owes anyone else the time of day. Took a lot of years for that to sink in, meaning for me to get the message that I didn't owe anyone else the time of day either! That was part of 'hardening'.

 

For the guys and gals who are 'picky' in these regards, more power to you! Like what you like. Whatever results is life.