R3d Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I think one reason why you guys get so much heat is because you whine and whine about how unfair it is that women don't like short guys, and yet you shamelessly go on about how you want slim women with big breasts. Well for me, breast size is not a factor at all, but weight is. I do like slim, but normal cuts it for me too. For me, the most important factor is a cute face. The rest is just icing on the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I say that too. But I mean in terms of raw attraction. Is being a short guy as unattractive to a girl as a fat girl is unattractive to a guy? No. A fat guy is the equivalent of a fat girl. My being tall has gotten me nothing in the form of dates. You know what does get me dates? My positive attitude, my physique, and my sociability.... all of which took years of work. If you improve your attitude, get fit and start to mingle instead of hunt for women, you'll have more dates than you know what to do with. Hell, at 16 you shouldn't even be worrying about getting a date. Just wait till college... it's a lot easier. I think one reason why you guys get so much heat is because you whine and whine about how unfair it is that women don't like short guys, and yet you shamelessly go on about how you want slim women with big breasts. This strikes even me (a guy no one would consider a feminist) as odd. Well put Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 That's fine, but surely you also realize that such women tend to get a lot of attention. If you are going to be waiting until you are able to attract one of these women to be your loyal girlfriend, then you might be staying single for quite a while. Especially if you aren't willing/able to do the "work on yourself" stuff in the meanwhile. We haven't even gotten to the important stuff such as personality, kindness, character... I did attract one of those women, and she was my girlfriend for six months. She was definitely an in demand girl. BTW, who says that I'm not willing to work on myself? Personality, kindness, character all those things are frivolous until I can start dating enough women that I'm attracted to, then I'll narrow it down to the ones who have those traits. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 That's another thing I wanted to bring up. I know this has been asked before, but I think this thread warrants the discussion. Are short men the male equivalent of fat women? Yes and no. Some women are as turned off by short guys as men are turned off by obese women. Some women absolutely refuse to date guys shorter than 5'8. Other women, just don't mind a guy being short, and will still date him if he has other qualities. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I think one reason why you guys get so much heat is because you whine and whine about how unfair it is that women don't like short guys, and yet you shamelessly go on about how you want slim women with big breasts. This strikes even me (a guy no one would consider a feminist) as odd. Did you miss the part where I said that I'd be fine dating a woman with below average size breasts? Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Did you miss the part where I said that I'd be fine dating a woman with below average size breasts? That's good. And you also realize that many women who said they prefer taller guys, said they would be willing to give a short guy a chance too, right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Did you miss the part where I said that I'd be fine dating a woman with below average size breasts? Oh, I saw that. You said you'd 'make an exception'. How very sporting of you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 That's good. And you also realize that many women who said they prefer taller guys, said they would be willing to give a short guy a chance too, right? Some not many. And yes I'm very happy to hear that. I just wish I could meet more in real life. Oh, I saw that. You said you'd 'make an exception'. How very sporting of you. Heh, it's not even really "make an exception." I just wouldn't care. I'd focus on other things about her that I'm attracted to. A good example is the girl I liked in my business class who I asked out over email. She seemed to have pretty small breasts, but it just wasn't an issue with me. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Heh, it's not even really "make an exception." I just wouldn't care. I'd focus on other things about her that I'm attracted to. A good example is the girl I liked in my business class who I asked out over email. She seemed to have pretty small breasts, but it just wasn't an issue with me. If personality, kindness and character are frivolous, what attracts you then? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Fine, I do care about personality and kindness. I won't try to keep talking to a girl who is rude to me no matter how hot she is. The thing is, stuff like a nice personality is completely baseline. It's like saying that I won't date a woman who is a hooker and addicted to heroin. Those things are just understood. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 A nice personality is definitely NOT baseline. You know what's baseline? A pair of tits. I can't keep track of how many hot/cute girls that just totally turned me off because of their (lack of) personality. I feel like once you stop looking at women as sexual objects, you'll stand a better chance. You should be looking for someone to share experiences with... not a prize you can stick your dick in. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 People of like physical attractiveness levels tend to pair up. Somedude is a self described "4", yet it seems he is not attracted to women that are also "4s". This is one of the (many) reasons he struggles with dating. Try finding a slim woman with big boobs in her 20s that would be under a 7. Or a slim woman with small boobs for that matter. That being said, Somedude also specified that he is not attracted to obese women - so I would assume that he does find some overweight women to be attractive. If he is a slightly below average looking guy, he might have luck with a slightly overweight woman. Just a suggestion... Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) People of like physical attractiveness levels tend to pair up. Somedude is a self described "4", yet it seems he is not attracted to women that are also "4s". This is one of the (many) reasons he struggles with dating. Try finding a slim woman with big boobs in her 20s that would be under a 7. Or a slim woman with small boobs for that matter. That being said, Somedude also specified that he is not attracted to obese women - so I would assume that he does find some overweight women to be attractive. If he is a slightly below average looking guy, he might have luck with a slightly overweight woman. Just a suggestion... Not a 4 by choice and trying very hard to change that. The only reason my looks are bad is because of my height. Though I'm working out and trying to get a nice body and hopefully cancel out my height. The other things about me, education, job, status, They are being worked on though will take time to get results. Unfortunately I'm not attracted to women who are 4's. If I were, I'd probably be much happier. Edited May 25, 2014 by somedude81 1 Link to post Share on other sites
R3d Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 People of like physical attractiveness levels tend to pair up. Somedude is a self described "4", yet it seems he is not attracted to women that are also "4s". This is one of the (many) reasons he struggles with dating. Try finding a slim woman with big boobs in her 20s that would be under a 7. Or a slim woman with small boobs for that matter. That being said, Somedude also specified that he is not attracted to obese women - so I would assume that he does find some overweight women to be attractive. If he is a slightly below average looking guy, he might have luck with a slightly overweight woman. Just a suggestion... So you're saying leagues exist? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 So you're saying leagues exist? Of course they do. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 So you're saying leagues exist? Indeed. Lots and lots of research and evidence. Just Google "matching hypothesis". Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Not a 4 by choice and trying very hard to change that. The only reason my looks are bad is because of my height. Though I'm working out and trying to get a nice body and hopefully cancel out my height. The other things about me, education, job, status, They are being worked on though will take time to get results. Unfortunately I'm not attracted to women who are 4's. If I were, I'd probably be much happier. Yeah - I get that. And on top of that you're not happy being single either so that's a definite struggle. I do agree with a lot of the other advice here that says to just get to know people as individuals and try to stop caring about whether or not you would date them. It's possible that other qualities will indeed begin to become a priority over pure looks alone. Or at least balance your emphasis on looks out a bit. Put it this way, if you're not getting to know people, literally the ONLY thing you can base your attraction on is looks. You're not even giving other qualities a chance... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
R3d Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 But what about all the places and people that say they don't? I have noticed this board tends to believe in leagues more than any other. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 But what about all the places and people that say they don't? I have noticed this board tends to believe in leagues more than any other. There certainly is some subjectivity when it comes to attraction, and I think some people feel because of that, objective leagues do not exist. I do think the strict 1-10 rating scale does not represent all the nuances of attraction - and I also think that because of the ubiquitous nature of the 10 point scale, many people take offense to it and in an overreaction declare that "leagues do not exist." Also, women especially will talk about the many other factors besides looks that go into their overall attraction. Again this may (mistakenly) lead them to believe that leagues do not exist. And finally, there certainly are exceptions to this rule where there is an apparent discrepancy to the matching phenomenon. People who are league deniers will latch on to these exceptions as evidence that leagues do not exist. But these exceptions are statistical outliers and certainly not the norm (again, lots and lots of research to backup the concept of leagues). Remember that I'm purely referring to looks when it comes to leagues. Nothing else. That being said, people also tend to sort themselves out by socioeconomic status, education level, IQ, etc. Like attracts like. If you are only attracted to people out of your league, you will struggle with dating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Remember that I'm purely referring to looks when it comes to leagues. Nothing else. That being said, people also tend to sort themselves out by socioeconomic status, education level, IQ, etc. Like attracts like. It may be that those other things factor more into males' "leagues" than they do for females. I'd think a guy who is average appearance would have a higher league if he was very funny, wealthy, or successful? I remember on The Bachelor tv show (I know, I know) that there was a prince who was the bachelor. He was not very physically attractive. But there he was, being presented as god's gift, and I assume it was because of his title. I'm not sure though that womens' leagues change much by those other qualities - wealth, intelligence, humor, etc. I think for women it is probably more strictly appearance that matters in being sorted into leagues. I don't think a homely princess would be presented as The Bachelorette. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Like attracts like. If you are only attracted to people out of your league, you will struggle with dating. True, although a lot of factors go into what a person's league is. A man who is a celebrity is consider in a high league, even if he may not be physically attractive. A man who is a powerful or super rich person is considered in a high league because of his status. A man who has a very engaging personality can seem more attractive overall to a person, even if his looks are only average. A lot of things go into a person's level of attractiveness to others. The problem exists where the person's combined traits are not attractive enough to others, but yet he/she expects someone with a higher level of combined traits than he himself brings to the table, and won't accept someone who is his equivalent. Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I don't think you should settle. But the guys who are more flexible and are able to be attracted to an individual woman who is overweight do not end up alone and unhappy. They end up in relationships, and they are the norm. I can't, for the life of me, would be able to get into a relationship with a woman that is 180+ pounds. I want to drop down to 150 myself and I am a guy. I can't even respect my own mother and she is almost 300 pounds. Outside of the few people that is overweight due to factors outside of their control, I can't respect or desire obesity. So, if the only women I get interest from happens to be the 180+ pound crowd, I will be content staying single. I just don't find it attractive whatsoever. I don't blame any other male if they feel the same way just like how women don't want short guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 It may be that those other things factor more into males' "leagues" than they do for females. I'd think a guy who is average appearance would have a higher league if he was very funny, wealthy, or successful? I remember on The Bachelor tv show (I know, I know) that there was a prince who was the bachelor. He was not very physically attractive. But there he was, being presented as god's gift, and I assume it was because of his title. I'm not sure though that womens' leagues change much by those other qualities - wealth, intelligence, humor, etc. I think for women it is probably more strictly appearance that matters in being sorted into leagues. I don't think a homely princess would be presented as The Bachelorette. I don't know about funny changing anything, but the research does indicate that when there is a distinct mismatch, there is almost always a quality that makes up for it. Usually these cases consisted of average (or unattractive) men that were very wealthy with very physically attractive "trophy" wives. Were the wives faithful? Did they fall "madly in love" with these men? Who knows... Link to post Share on other sites
R3d Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 This dude says otherwise: Though I do see what you're saying and am not denying that you should work to be the best you can be. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Iam not super picky at all but i still cant be with a women i have zero attraction to and am turned off by physically i dont care how cool she is id rather be alone then do that which is probably whats gonna happen to me but id rather be alone then with somene im repulsed at the thought of just making out with never mind being naked Link to post Share on other sites
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