Hear ya knockin' but ya can't come in.

[Yikes]

Originally posted by Merin

MG! Does his family know? I'm assuming he was/is married?

 

Yes his wife knows. I'm willing to bet that she doesn't know everything. I'm sure that she isn't aware that he still sees my ex from time to time. I've caught him there a few times when I have had to run the kids to their mom's place because they forgot something. My friends and even my dad have seen his vehicle there too.

 

I just don't want to get pulled into that whole mess, because it WILL come crashing down around them. WITHOUT my help. I try to keep my energy focused on my life. My ex is largely responsible for messing up my past. If I let her mess up my future, then it's MY fault. I keep hearing that my ex-friend's marriage is not very good these days. Dah! How could it be?

 

The really sad part is our families did everything together, BBQs, vacations, parties, guys night out. I held his kids in my arms when they were hours old. I rarely see his kids and miss them. My kids and his are still friends and see each other at school, but not so much outside of that. I don't know WHAT they make of all of this. They have to know that something happened.

 

When my kids become adults, if they ever ask me what happened, I think I'll start by letting them read the letter. I won't lie for her. When we split, I told them that they could ask me anything and I wouldn't lie to them, but I also said that there are some things that are grown up problems that they didn't need to concern themselves about.

 

I don't know why it is, but cops tend to be really bad in this area. Maybe it's the danger. I don't know, but this guy is a dick.

 

What's all this talk about "booby T-shirts and thongs"? Are guys trying to kill me or what?

[Merin]

Originally posted by Yikes

Yes his wife knows. I'm willing to bet that she doesn't know everything. I'm sure that she isn't aware that he still sees my ex from time to time. I've caught him there a few times when I have had to run the kids to their mom's place because they forgot something. My friends and even my dad have seen his vehicle there too.

 

I just don't want to get pulled into that whole mess, because it WILL come crashing down around them. WITHOUT my help. I try to keep my energy focused on my life. My ex is largely responsible for messing up my past. If I let her mess up my future, then it's MY fault. I keep hearing that my ex-friend's marriage is not very good these days. Dah! How could it be?

 

The really sad part is our families did everything together, BBQs, vacations, parties, guys night out. I held his kids in my arms when they were hours old. I rarely see his kids and miss them. My kids and his are still friends and see each other at school, but not so much outside of that. I don't know WHAT they make of all of this. They have to know that something happened.

 

When my kids become adults, if they ever ask me what happened, I think I'll start by letting them read the letter. I won't lie for her. When we split, I told them that they could ask me anything and I wouldn't lie to them, but I also said that there are some things that are grown up problems that they didn't need to concern themselves about.

 

I don't know why it is, but cops tend to be really bad in this area. Maybe it's the danger. I don't know, but this guy is a dick.

 

What's all this talk about "booby T-shirts and thongs"? Are guys trying to kill me or what?

 

Honestly Yikes You've handled yourself with a lot of class and dignity.. mad props to you on that.

 

How old are your kids? Mine are very young.. only 7 and 4.. I never told them the exact reason why I divorced thier Dad.. only told them that he didn't make good choices and it was nothing for them to concern themselves over.. that it wasn't thier fault in any way.. that me and thier Dad BOTH love them very much.. but sometimes Mommy's and Daddy's can't live together anymore...

 

If they want to know the details later when they are adults.. I don't even know if I'll tell them.. I don't know.

 

I get along pretty well with my EXH and considering the circumstances of why I divorced him.. lol mad props to me! I get a kick out of things now.. he can't stand it that I don't want him.. that I'm happier without him in my life like that.. AND hee hee I'm raising 2 mini Merins.. that remind him alllllllllllllllllllllllllll the time of me!

 

My theory on why cops tend to fall into this.. they are cocky beyond belief.. able to get away with what others cannot.. so yeah.. thats my take.

 

Boob T-shirts and thongs now on sale!!! Omg you guys crack me up!

[Yikes]

Thanks for the compliment, I have done my best to stay on the high road. My kids are 12 and 14 now.

 

I found out about the affair 2 days before our 15th wedding anniversary, summer of 2001 (lovely timing). Did some counselling, she suckered me into giving her a 2nd chance. I found out she was still seeing him in spring 2003 and immediately pulled the plug. After we divided up our stuff and sold the house, I was in my own house by the fall of 2003. Since then I've been wrapping up some loose ends and getting rid of a little debt etc.

 

I have been on my own for a while now, reclaiming my life and attempting to figure out just who I am again.

 

I am almost totally out of debt besides my mortgage, so hopefully I can finally begin to make some headway. I do think that I need to get out and seriously look at dating, but the thought of putting myself "out there" and letting someone close again is kind of scary. I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I am pretty mad at her for making me feel this way, but I'm more angry at myself for letting her make me feel this way.

[MassiveAtom]

Merin you're a hoot!! Es no es necessario llamada los centurions! Y yo convenga, tu es impresionante!

 

Best of everything to ya and your new honey!!

 

By Yikes!!{/i]

I am almost totally out of debt besides my mortgage, so hopefully I can finally begin to make some headway. I do think that I need to get out and seriously look at dating, but the thought of putting myself "out there" and letting someone close again is kind of scary. I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I am pretty mad at her for making me feel this way, but I'm more angry at myself for letting her make me feel this way.

I hear ya talkin' to me Yikes.

 

I think just talking to guys who've been through this is enough to help rebuild the confidence in ourselves that we need to get back out there wearing our "Yay for Boobs!" t-shirts!

 

And this thong business? :eek:MG!!

 

It's funny when I think about how powerful we can become if we just accept how the rest of the world sees us. Me, I have trouble accepting that world sees me as intellegent. Attractive, and happy. But I think I am all those things. Regardless of the facts of my life, cute ex-wife, hot girlfriends, all that. I think the insecurities in MEN, come from somewhere else. Great, more stuff for therapy.

 

Seems like the underlying issue, for ME at least, is self-esteem. Prolly stems from childhood and all the relationships I've had before my x beat down whatever positive self-image I had into a twitching formless lump. There's only so much of that one can take before it causes damage.

 

So maybe we need to regain some insight into how we are viewed by the opposite sex in that regard. Isn't there always a bit of a question?

 

Sensitivity to "the signals" a woman sends is likely important, cause you know They're guarded!

And then a selection process, set criteria - well defined mind you, that are not strayed from.

 

Or maybe we need to just live our lives as we se fit and someone will come along eventually.

 

CRAP! I don't wanna wait that long to say, "YAY for boobs!"

[Yikes]

Originally posted by MassiveAtom

 

And this thong business? :eek:MG!!

 

 

Hey I hope that your not suggesting that we all sport thongs?

 

No "man thongs""marble bags" or "banana hammicks" for this boy. Actually the last thong that I saw was on a woman that had NO business wearing one. Yikes!!

 

Merin, I'm guessing that you'd be fine.

[MassiveAtom]

In no way should my desire to see thongs in situ be misconstrued as a desire to see a marble bag!!

[Merin]

OMG!

 

Merins little happy world cracked..

 

WTF!

 

So.. went to see my BF tonite.. one of his boys had been at his house most of the afternoon helping him get his hot tub hooked up.. by the time I got there my BF was on his way to more than buzzed.. and I could tell by looking at him, that he had got high.. He knows I don't smoke.. but I don't hassle him or say anything that he does.. anyway.. the thing is this.. when I first met him he didn't tell me he got high (and that wasn't a deal for me) on New Years Eve he had been behaving wierd.. like nervous and had told me he had something he needed me to know.. he made a huge deal out of it.. when he finally told me what it was I was frantic.. but what he told me was this (we were going to a friend of his house) "Merin, some of my friends get high.. and I don't want you to be freaked out if you see someone getting high there.. I hadn't told you about this because I didn't know how you would feel about it.. I DON'T get high much anymore.. I haven't been high one time since I've been with you.. I smoke now and then.. but not very much."

 

I was like okay.. good to go, no worries.

 

So on to tonite.. he was acting kind of odd I thought.. just quiet.. but again, he is kind of this way when he is high.. then he said "What do you want to do tonite? Want to go see a movie?" I told him that was fine I was down for whatever.. I just wanted to spend time with him.. then he got a call.. he took the call to another room (which was odd) when he came back he didn't say who it was and I didn't ask. He went and took a shower and came back up.. got ready to go.. so we decided just to go and get some Quizno's and bring it back to his house.. again he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie after or just rent some DVD's.. I said lets eat first.

 

We get to his house, sit down to eat.. and he says "Merin, I have to run an errand in a little while.. I'll be gone about an hour or two and you CAN'T come with me." I'm like "What? Where are you going?" he says "To run an errand" I asked him if this errand is why he had been acting so wierd.. and had he not wanted me to come over tonite.. he said no that he didn't know he would have to go anywhere until after he had got that call.. I asked him again where was he going.. he said "Don't pry.. just know it's nothing for you to worry about" I was pissed! He asked me if I was mad.. I told him yeah I am.. asked him why if he had something to do didn't he say something BEFORE I got a sitter for my wee people tonite, BEFORE I drove my happy a** all the way to his house.. I just want to understand.. he again says he's sorry.. but he HAS to do this.. but he won't tell me where he is going or why.. just says I don't need to know.

 

I threw my whole sub into the trash and told him I would leave.. that I was sorry for prying into his life and it was good to know where I stood with him.. he told me that NOT telling me where he was going wasn't a matter of TRUST.. uh.. well then WTF is it?! So I went to the front door to leave and he says "So your going to leave just like that?" uh.. wtf else am I suppose to do?! He says "I'm not cheating on you Merin, I just can't tell you where I'm going.. okay? Stop asking" I said "Okay.. goodnite" he didn't get up.. said "Okay goodnite Merin" and I left.

 

Aggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF WTF!!!!!

 

:Merin is going to put her yay for boobs tshirt on, drink beer and hope for sleep tonite:

[Merin]

Originally posted by Yikes

Hey I hope that your not suggesting that we all sport thongs?

 

No "man thongs""marble bags" or "banana hammicks" for this boy. Actually the last thong that I saw was on a woman that had NO business wearing one. Yikes!!

 

Merin, I'm guessing that you'd be fine.

 

 

Oh Crap! I needed that laugh!

[Yikes]

Sorry about your crappy evening.

 

I hope that isn't what it sounds like. He wouldn't be sneaking out for a D Deal would he? You really don't need that crap anywhere near you or your kidlets, I've seen first hand what that can do. An occassional smoke is one thing, but if it's not your bag, then he shouldn't mix the two.

 

Anyway, gotta go pick up a few groceries with my daughter. Kids like to eat, they're funny that way.

 

Enjoy your beer and relax. I'll be enjoying a Bacardi with coke when I get back, it's been one of those days. On better days it's coke with Bacardi.

[DinNJ]

I said "Okay.. goodnite" he didn't get up.. said "Okay goodnite Merin" and I left.

 

Does this mean you're single???

 

 

I don't know him... but I like this comment he made...

 

Don't pry.. just know it's nothing for you to worry about

 

I actually trust that and like the way he worded it.

 

Hmmm..... I think he went to sell/deliver some weed. But that's just reachin' for strings. I wouldn't sweat it... eventually he'll come around to tell you where he was going.

[MassiveAtom]

Dumb move on his part. I would've taken into account all your history. And done it a little differently.

 

BUT,

 

He was prolly going to get more weed, or maybe,

 

just maybe, something nice for you.

 

 

Damn that trust thing is harder than I imagined. Then again...

 

 

So Merin, what are you doing next Saturday at 8:00pm ?

[Israfil]

Originally posted by Merin

Aggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF WTF!!!!!

 

 

*mad* !!!! men! grrrrr.....

 

(present company excluded, of course!)

[DinNJ]

<------ doesn't smoke.

<------ ate Quisno's tonight

<------ needs a Valentines date

[MassiveAtom]

Israfil?

 

Whatsa matter? You've already given and gotten a proposal!

 

I tell ya, men are an odd lot, one minute you think they're all that and a bag of chips, next minute they're just a bag of chips.

 

Hmmm, maybe that's why we're all nervous to pick y'all up.

[Israfil]

Originally posted by MassiveAtom

Israfil?

Whatsa matter? You've already given and gotten a proposal!

 

I tell ya, men are an odd lot, one minute you think they're all that and a bag of chips, next minute they're just a bag of chips.

 

Women!!! *mad* They are so damn fickle! (must be the super-strings messing with their minds)

 

Hmmm, maybe that's why we're all nervous to pick y'all up.

 

Sorry... We'll try and be better. With all Alpha's helpful advice and all, we can't go wrong!

[Merin]

It's the idea.. do you know how freaking pissed off he would be IF I had done this to him?!!

OMG! He would've been pissed off for real!

 

I'm NOT down for the secrets, I'm NOT down for the I can't tell you BUT don't worry bullsh*t.. been there done that NOT doing it anymore.

 

IF he wanted to go get his sh*t then wtf why didn't he say that?! AND to blow me the hell off for mary jane!? Oh hell nah! If that means more to him then spending time with me.. wtf does that say about me?!

 

Maybe he needs a shirt that says "I USED to get to see Merins Boobs.. but not anymore DOH!"

 

F*ck!

[MassiveAtom]

Sounds like he *****ked up royally. I totally get where you're coming from, Merin.

 

note to self, be Honest and up front. No secret life. DuH!

 

I am so not ready for a relationship.

[DinNJ]

he who wears that shirt... is a lucky man.

[Merin]

Originally posted by Yikes

Sorry about your crappy evening.

 

I hope that isn't what it sounds like. He wouldn't be sneaking out for a D Deal would he? You really don't need that crap anywhere near you or your kidlets, I've seen first hand what that can do. An occassional smoke is one thing, but if it's not your bag, then he shouldn't mix the two.

 

Anyway, gotta go pick up a few groceries with my daughter. Kids like to eat, they're funny that way.

 

Enjoy your beer and relax. I'll be enjoying a Bacardi with coke when I get back, it's been one of those days. On better days it's coke with Bacardi.

 

Thanks Yikes..

 

Beer.. boob tshirt and my LS compadres...

 

LOL My life seems to take these ****ty roads a lot..

 

Yay for Bacardi

[Israfil]

Originally posted by Merin

IF he wanted to go get his sh*t then wtf why didn't he say that?! AND to blow me the hell off for mary jane!? Oh hell nah! If that means more to him then spending time with me.. wtf does that say about me?!

 

 

He seriously blew you off for MJ???? WTF?? It says that you are way too good for him! He needs to RE. EV. AL. U. ATE. his priorities - pronto!

 

We're here for you, Mer.

[Merin]

Originally posted by MassiveAtom

Sounds like he *****ked up royally. I totally get where you're coming from.

 

note to self, be Honest and up front. No secret life. DuH!

 

I am so not ready for a relationship.

 

Damn MA.. every time I THINK I'm good to go and okay.. some sh*t like this happens and then I begin to question myself.. check.. recheck.. check again..

 

Funny thing is.. HE has TRUST issues.. then does this sh*t and wonders why I'm upset?!

 

bah!

[DinNJ]

is that really where he went??? to get more or deliver?

[MassiveAtom]

Originally posted by Merin

Yay for Bacardi

 

YAy for Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Rolling Rock!!

 

 

Cheap and to the point.

 

Damn, sounds like the last date I had before I got married!

[Merin]

Originally posted by Israfil

 

He seriously blew you off for MJ???? WTF?? It says that you are way too good for him! He needs to RE. EV. AL. U. ATE. his priorities - pronto!

 

We're here for you, Mer.

 

Thanks Girl.. Thing is, I don't ACTUALLY know why he did this, where he went or why.. because apparently IF he told me he would have to kill me..

 

Funny.. I don't think he'll call me.. in his mind this is me and not him.. and for real can't seem to wrap his mind around why I'm not happy with this..

[Merin]

Originally posted by DinNJ

is that really where he went??? to get more or deliver?

 

DinNJ, I really have zero idea.. I can only assume.

 

I don't believe it's someone else.. I do know he has sold to his friends.. so I can only assume that he was going to do something like pick up or buy.. I don't know.

 

MA~ LOL I should've hit the bacardi much harder BEFORE I got married.. maybe I would've been *lucky* puked down my dress into my shoes, peed on my shoes and passed out BEFORE we got to "I do"

 

Dammmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn it!