Are women ever really single anymore? like single single

[Omei]

You should give the attention you give to her to a woman that is really single. But guess what, there is a good chance that you are attracted to that married woman just because you can't get her. Maybe you cannot be attracted to a woman who is single (and don't tell me that single women are not attractive, there are many who are as attractive or more attractive to married woman).

 

I hate married women like the one you describe. I know them, I've met them. They need ALL the attention, cannot stand to share it a bit.

 

I've been in social settings where I got a bit of attention of a guy (and it was probably clear that it flattered me), only to have some married viper rush in and divert his attention to her. Since I am a rather shy and discrete person, I am not going to engage in a counterattack. The problem is also that most men are too weak to stand up to such a woman. One moment you have a connection with a guy, next thing you now married viper has kidnapped him. Moment of connection gone...

 

Oh yeah that sucks =[ I know a guy I liked who was single but a married woman who was very seductive got him hooked now he's stuck liking some married girl and that was a instant turn off no longer crushing for me.

[ThaWholigan]

The only 20 something women catching GIGS are with older men who think they are compatible with 20 somethings... Of course those men get dumped or GIG'd.

 

 

I don't see this happening with similar age couples. None of the women in my family caught GIGS and all of them married before 30 to men within a few years age.

 

 

Same with my friends. I'm the outlier among my friends and family. But I'm an outlier in a lot of ways.

 

 

The good news is the guy I'm talking to on OLD is my age exactly. Another plus.

 

 

I'm flat out rejecting anyone who is more than 4 or 5 years older than me. Even among those, I reject the ones who are hypocritical about it. If they don't include women at least 4-5 years older than them, I also have no reason to talk to them. Don't care how much money they have or what they look like.

 

As I said right at the beginning of the thread - all in the circle.

[Esoteric Elf]

No one human being is ever superior to another. Period.

I bench 315 lbs. Scot Mendelson benches 701 lbs. Would you say that Scot is not superior to me with respect to bench?

[BikerAccnt]

I'm flat out rejecting anyone who is more than 4 or 5 years older than me. Even among those, I reject the ones who are hypocritical about it. If they don't include women at least 4-5 years older than them, I also have no reason to talk to them. Don't care how much money they have or what they look like.

 

This happens on both sides of the genders spectrum as people get older. The age you are willing to date in front of you gets smaller, while the age behind you grows larger. No-one thinks they should date people older than themselves once you get into your 40's or 50's.

[Keenly]

I bench 315 lbs. Scot Mendelson benches 701 lbs. Would you say that Scot is not superior to me with respect to bench?

 

Is he stronger than you ? Yes.

 

Is he a superior human being? Are you an inferior human being ? No. Never

[PinkInTheLimo]

I'm flat out rejecting anyone who is more than 4 or 5 years older than me. Even among those, I reject the ones who are hypocritical about it. If they don't include women at least 4-5 years older than them, I also have no reason to talk to them. Don't care how much money they have or what they look like.

 

I understand you. If on OLD as a 48-year old I got a message from a guy who was 52 but had indicated that he wanted a woman between 30 and 45 I felt like the guy had "pity" for me. OK, he contacted me (having noticed on the basis of my pic that some women in their late forties actually look attractive) but the contact is somehow "tainted" because you already suspect the guy to actually want a younger woman so you wonder if he only contacts you because the younger women don't want him.

 

The problem is that you can't do a lot of flat out rejecting on OLD because then there are no men left any more...

 

I still try to keep an open mind and I am still prepared to meet a man around my age who seems to want younger women and check a bit if he really is so biased or if he simply filled out the numbers without giving it much thought. I think there are some guys out there who automatically associate a certain age with a certain type of woman. They have an image of how a 50-year woman looks and when they see you they might realise that not all 50-year old women are overweight or unattractive.

Of course if I see a profile of a 50-something guy who wants women between 18 and 35 and describes how he still wants a family, I have no interest at all.

 

Sometimes I start a discussion with these guys asking them why they prefer younger women. They often come up with the typical biological determination theory which says that men are biologically drawn to young, fertile women, which is BS since most of them don't want kids anymore. One guy was honest enough to admit that when he was faced with a woman his age, it reminded him of his own age. So he likes to have a younger person in front of him not to be reminded of his own age but how does it make her feel to look in the face of a 10 year older man then?

 

And then there of course all the end of their fifties beginning of their sixties guys who think that because men your own age are not interested in you, you will want an older guy. And they all come up with the same arguments, that they have nothing in common with people their own age (as if that is a plus, I actually like people who are OK with their own age and people of the same age), that they are still so athletic and dynamic. Which gives the impression that it is all about them and there is no bigger turn-off than that.

 

I have to say that I wish that the way older women are discriminated in the dating world would get more attention and that it would be condemned. You cannot make racist remarks but apparently it is OK to talk about the "shelf life of an older woman..."?

 

I feel that it is a subtle way in which the establishment tries to submit women. Yes women can go to college and have jobs but ultimately the message is given that if you are not young and beautiful, all the rest does not mean a thing.

[PinkInTheLimo]

This happens on both sides of the genders spectrum as people get older. The age you are willing to date in front of you gets smaller, while the age behind you grows larger. No-one thinks they should date people older than themselves once you get into your 40's or 50's.

 

Most women don't have a problem dating a man who is a couple of years older than them, like in 50-year old woman dating a 54-year old man.

 

It's the 54-year old man who would for the life of him not date a 57-year old woman!!! And a lot of 54-year old men would not even give a 50-year old woman a look.

[xxoo]

And then there of course all the end of their fifties beginning of their sixties guys who think that because men your own age are not interested in you, you will want an older guy. And they all come up with the same arguments, that they have nothing in common with people their own age (as if that is a plus, I actually like people who are OK with their own age and people of the same age), that they are still so athletic and dynamic. Which gives the impression that it is all about them and there is no bigger turn-off than that.

 

This argument always leaves me confused. Why not date a women your age who is athletic and dynamic? Probably because they are chasing younger men

 

It's like the fit, dynamic men and women in their 40s and 50s are all dating younger instead of dating each other Midlife crisis, anyone?

 

But again, it often comes down to seeking a partner vs. seeking a trophy to boost their own lagging self esteem.

[PinkInTheLimo]

This argument always leaves me confused. Why not date a women your age who is athletic and dynamic? Probably because they are chasing younger men

 

No the athletic and dynamic women their age are not all chasing younger men. I'm not interested in that.

[PinkInTheLimo]

This argument always leaves me confused. Why not date a women your age who is athletic and dynamic? Probably because they are chasing younger men

 

BTW, I have to thank you because this is a nice counterargument to these older guys.

 

As a matter of fact, I often tell them that there are plenty of women their age who are available and that in the name of solidarity between women I am not going to snatch away an older man from the single gals of his own age.

[Imported]

This argument always leaves me confused. Why not date a women your age who is athletic and dynamic? Probably because they are chasing younger men

 

It's like the fit, dynamic men and women in their 40s and 50s are all dating younger instead of dating each other Midlife crisis, anyone?

 

But again, it often comes down to seeking a partner vs. seeking a trophy to boost their own lagging self esteem.

 

I've dated a few women @40 that were fit and very attractive. I like them. Most people start faultering @27, assuming they didn't lose it all in their teens or were never in shape to begin with. To see someone that is older and in shape is always cool.

 

I can be happy with a woman that I find attractive no matter her age. But most of these women that are older are playing the field more so than I ever have and I am usually just a passing fancy for them. Usually they are way more wild than the younger women. Actually, wouldn't say wild, more like always looking for sex from yet another guy. And that is not what I want. My experience. No need to defend. Just saying these women are not looking to settle down or have kids (probably have kids already).

[Esoteric Elf]

Is he stronger than you ? Yes.

 

Is he a superior human being? Are you an inferior human being ? No. Never

You did not answer my question. I asked if he superior in strength than I. If you need a definition for superior, here it is: Superior | Define Superior at Dictionary.com

[Woggle]

The only 20 something women catching GIGS are with older men who think they are compatible with 20 somethings... Of course those men get dumped or GIG'd.

 

 

I don't see this happening with similar age couples. None of the women in my family caught GIGS and all of them married before 30 to men within a few years age.

 

 

Same with my friends. I'm the outlier among my friends and family. But I'm an outlier in a lot of ways.

 

 

The good news is the guy I'm talking to on OLD is my age exactly. Another plus.

 

 

I'm flat out rejecting anyone who is more than 4 or 5 years older than me. Even among those, I reject the ones who are hypocritical about it. If they don't include women at least 4-5 years older than them, I also have no reason to talk to them. Don't care how much money they have or what they look like.

 

You must not see the people I know. With the couples I have known that got married in their 20s it's almost like the women operate on a timer that all goes off at the same time. When the couple gets a certain age it's a matter of time before she starts getting restless and these are couples that are around the same age.

[ThaWholigan]

You must not see the people I know. With the couples I have known that got married in their 20s it's almost like the women operate on a timer that all goes off at the same time. When the couple gets a certain age it's a matter of time before she starts getting restless and these are couples that are around the same age.

3rd time - All in the circle

[irc333]

Sometimes I start a discussion with these guys asking them why they prefer younger women. They often come up with the typical biological determination theory which says that men are biologically drawn to young, fertile women, which is BS since most of them don't want kids anymore. One guy was honest enough to admit that when he was faced with a woman his age, it reminded him of his own age. So he likes to have a younger person in front of him not to be reminded of his own age but how does it make her feel to look in the face of a 10 year older man then?

 

I have a female friend of mine, she's 45, in good shape, does a lot of Yoga, and I kind of "caught" her saying that when she goes out dancing, she sees a lot of these "old" guys trying to dance with her....turns out, they wind up being around her age anyhow. LOL

 

SHe just looks young for her age, but she sees herself as a young LOOKING woman, but hasn't realized her own mortality yet.

[mortensorchid]

There are. I have been one of them most of my adult life. I have heard such things before from men but they seem to think otherwise.

 

 

Timing is everything I guess.

[Mrlonelyone]

The only 20 something women catching GIGS are with older men who think they are compatible with 20 somethings... Of course those men get dumped or GIG'd.

 

 

I don't see this happening with similar age couples. None of the women in my family caught GIGS and all of them married before 30 to men within a few years age.

 

 

Same with my friends. I'm the outlier among my friends and family. But I'm an outlier in a lot of ways.

 

 

The good news is the guy I'm talking to on OLD is my age exactly. Another plus.

 

 

I'm flat out rejecting anyone who is more than 4 or 5 years older than me. Even among those, I reject the ones who are hypocritical about it. If they don't include women at least 4-5 years older than them, I also have no reason to talk to them. Don't care how much money they have or what they look like.

 

 

I wish it was that simple. What these people call GIGS is a product of emotional immaturity which is only loosely correlated with age.

 

 

Plenty of women in their 30's and 40's are in constant search of what has been called the BBD (bigger better deal). To them any grass that isn't theirs is greener. Grass that some other woman has or wants is often the greenest of all. What they have or can get is never good enough. What they don't' have or can't get is always better.

 

 

Most women outgrow this (remember this thread is about a man dating women so we talk about women).

 

 

Half the man's age plus seven years. At 33 for me that means I can go as young as 23 without censure by most people. The youngest I've gone is 20, and I had an affair with a teacher who had to be 30 when I was in high school. I'd do her again right now if she weren't married.

 

 

An emotionally mature early 20's woman can make a good wife if the man is also mature enough to not expect her to have the mindset of someone his age. Both partners need to accept eachothers advantages that come with age and youth.

 

 

Last, smearing all couples where the man is older really isn't a good look.

[PinkInTheLimo]

Half the man's age plus seven years. At 33 for me that means I can go as young as 23 without censure by most people. The youngest I've gone is 20, and I had an affair with a teacher who had to be 30 when I was in high school. I'd do her again right now if she weren't married.

 

 

An emotionally mature early 20's woman can make a good wife if the man is also mature enough to not expect her to have the mindset of someone his age. Both partners need to accept eachothers advantages that come with age and youth.

 

Oh please this rule of a man's age plus 7 years... was probably invented by a guy who wanted a younger woman... There is no scientific evidence for that. It would mean that right now my best match is a guy of 84 !

 

In any case I know that most girls of 23 I know prefer a guy their own age and would consider someone of 33 old. I know I did when I was 23.

 

I've always fancied guys my own age, it simply feels more natural. And a considerably older man is a bad deal if you look at it in the long run:

- his age will at a certain moment prevent you from having a good sex life

- since men die earlier than women, you will have more years as a widow

- if he is retired and you are still working, chances are you will have to support him financially

- at a certain point the age difference will result in different levels of activity. A 10-year difference might not be felt strongly between 40 and 50 but all the stronger between 70 and 80. A woman risks spending the last years with her man as his nurse. I prefer both of us to be in a wheel chair at the same time .

[fortyninethousand322]

Oh please this rule of a man's age plus 7 years... was probably invented by a guy who wanted a younger woman... There is no scientific evidence for that. It would mean that right now my best match is a guy of 84 !

 

In any case I know that most girls of 23 I know prefer a guy their own age and would consider someone of 33 old. I know I did when I was 23.

 

I've always fancied guys my own age, it simply feels more natural. And a considerably older man is a bad deal if you look at it in the long run:

- his age will at a certain moment prevent you from having a good sex life

- since men die earlier than women, you will have more years as a widow

- if he is retired and you are still working, chances are you will have to support him financially

- at a certain point the age difference will result in different levels of activity. A 10-year difference might not be felt strongly between 40 and 50 but all the stronger between 70 and 80. A woman risks spending the last years with her man as his nurse. I prefer both of us to be in a wheel chair at the same time .

 

I don't know. Most women on dating sites I see have age ranges skewed higher rather than lower. I routinely see women my age (25) seeking men 25-35 (give or take). Sometimes they're seeking men older than them (say 28-35). I don't really see any 25 year old women seeking 22-28 year old men.

 

Maybe I just live in a weird area of the world though...

[Mrlonelyone]

Oh please this rule of a man's age plus 7 years... was probably invented by a guy who wanted a younger woman... There is no scientific evidence for that. It would mean that right now my best match is a guy of 84 !

 

In any case I know that most girls of 23 I know prefer a guy their own age and would consider someone of 33 old. I know I did when I was 23.

 

I've always fancied guys my own age, it simply feels more natural. And a considerably older man is a bad deal if you look at it in the long run:

- his age will at a certain moment prevent you from having a good sex life

- since men die earlier than women, you will have more years as a widow

- if he is retired and you are still working, chances are you will have to support him financially

- at a certain point the age difference will result in different levels of activity. A 10-year difference might not be felt strongly between 40 and 50 but all the stronger between 70 and 80. A woman risks spending the last years with her man as his nurse. I prefer both of us to be in a wheel chair at the same time .

 

 

Not at all. The 1/2 plus seven rule applies to women too.

 

 

Because it's Friday: Do Celebrities Follow the Half Your Age Plus Seven Rule?

 

 

Example the prophet Mohammed (SAS) Married his first wife when she was 40 and he was about 25.

 

 

Not everyone is as judgemental of age differences.

[kaylan]

This is a very good point! If I go even on a first date with a guy that I feel *really* into and think we can be serious, I would probably not even talk to other guys let alone sleep with them. But it often doesn't happen this fast for people.

 

I still think you are too insecure Kaylan. You make way too many threads about this crap. There are better things out there to get yourself obsessed about.

I love when people label someone insecure for seeing the world for what it really is. And how do I make too many threads about this topic? Ive barely posted in the last few months, and I normally dont create threads that call out women.

 

Excuse me for deciding some things needed to be said. I call it like I see it. And obsessed? My taking an interest in making sure I avoid bad women is obsessive? My wanting to speak about the reality around me is obsessive? Sure thing tootz xD

[gaius]

here in Upstate NY.

Spoilsport.

 

There are lots of women who are really single Kaylan. Why are you gravitating toward those who aren't?

[KatZee]

I mean like really single, by themselves, not seeing anyone at all.

 

Seems for the longest time, that most girls I meet or know as friends, even if they are single, they are hooking up with someone, casually seeing someone, or talking to someone new. I mean, a lot of girls wont generally admit it, but having good chick friends is an eye opener into the lives of certain women.

 

I spent 13 months being 110% single after breaking up with my last boyfriend.

 

I'm 20 months post break-up now and am still single, but now I do date casually and I'm keeping options open for a potential bf.

[RedRobin]

Spoilsport.

 

 

 

lol... it's not the first time I told people which area I live in... you just haven't been paying attention...

 

 

... but you have to agree... it is kinda the Appalachia of the North, agree? Even the guy I just started talking to isn't into 'country girls' and says he doesn't fit in with most of the other guys around here... DING DING DING...

 

 

I think we may have a winner... or at least a strong contender. Anyone who feels they don't 'fit in' around here as a single person def gets higher on my list.... but I'm off topic.

 

 

Kaylan, come on now... give up this foolishness. We really don't want to relegate you to bitter man-'skank' status. Way too many of those on LS and elsewhere...

[RedRobin]

Here's what it looks like Kaylan... From a 'single, single' woman...

 

 

The guy I just started talking to, doesn't have my real phone #. I use Google voice.

 

 

I don't text AT ALL until we've seen each other a few times and I think I want to see him more.

 

 

The only other men I 'talk' to are 100% friends or co-workers. Friends means no sex. No cuddling, no romance, no sexy talk... I treat my male friends the same I do my female friends. I always offer a guy I'm seeing to meet my friends. If he has female friends, I expect the same.

 

 

No house dates until I'm ready to be physically intimate with him at some level. Never sooner than a month to two months... If things go well there, I suggest mutual STD tests... This is usually where shyte falls apart with today's crop of lazy man-skanks... but that is ok. That is what it is designed to do. If they can't take a few hours off, and are too afraid to get a needle stuck in them for the sake of a LTR.... then they aren't sticking me. *shrug*

 

 

You might consider something similar. Adjust the timeline to your own requirements. You can be sure you won't be getting mislead, used, or anything else this way. But it is an investment, nonetheless. Can't get around that.

Edited January 3, 2014 by RedRobin