MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Probably the ugly ones are. I read a book once though that talked about this that no matter what girl you talked to she always had a guy around and you had to win her over if you really wanted her. So maybe you're right. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Not sound reasoning. It's more a case of 50% or less of men are responsible for getting with 80% of those on the market. And where did you get these figures from??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scales Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 And where did you get these figures from??? I agree, I'd put it some where like top 20% of men having the option of getting with 75% of women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Man listen to Carhill everything he's saying is so very true. Especially about how married women looking to fool around can completely fool you into thinking they are single-single and totally interested in you. Pretty much any semi-desirable woman will have some other guy waiting in the wings. A guy who at least thinks he owns that, who's about to find out he wasn't even renting it. What I have said before and elsewhere about the women you are dating. The fact that you are crossing the color line is relevant. It's not PC to mention it but there are plenty of women who will fool around with you just because of that yet will never be serious with you for the same reason. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sand Man Dan Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I see your point, but I stopped caring about that kind of stuff a long time ago. If the relationship is strong or she won't leave then she won't leave. If she does then I get what I wanted. I'm not trying to break up everyone's relationships, but if I find the girl attractive I'll go for it. If she rejects no big deal, I don't push it and on to the next. If you auto-disclaim any girl who would do this it just limits your options. You never know the next person who you could have a great relationship with. I promise, I do see and understand your perspective, and even agree with some pieces, and I do see your logic in saying that if she left, then you got your answer anyways. My whole point of avoiding that scenario though is because I want to know that it's a slim to none chance of her doing that to me. I invest a lot into a relationship. A LOT. So I try to avoid it altogether @ Missbee I totally made up the rough numbers but only to illustrate the general principle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 All I can say for sure is that the 'best' ones tend to get taken fairly early. They get married and stay married. A rare few come available after divorce or death of their spouse. The rest are on a continuum with the other FWB/FB/casual sex having, rather brainless and impulse driven lot that make up the majority. Sorry, can't get excited about those. I made a poor choice of spouse when I was at that age, and am still paying for it. In other words, Kaylan... your best bet to find a solid, lasting relationship is no better than it is now. Stop wasting your time with this casual shyte... otherwise you can and likely will end up in this crappy pool for life... or take a very long time to escape it. Or will become a dating zombie with dog-eat-dog philosophies... Depressing as it may sound, I completely agree. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I spent most of my adult life single. From 2007 until this year I did not have a boyfriend, and the majority of the 6 years was spent being celibate. I had one guy that I saw for a while but ended things in 2010 when I realized he was never going to want a relationship. I have a boyfriend now, but I legitimately spent the majority of my adult life totally and completely single and alone. Years of celibacy and no emotional attachments with others Same here... 2006 to 2009...Nothing... I worked n worked... 2009 - 1 guy.. Few months... 2010 - nothing... 2011, 2012, 2013... 3 guys... Hurt me in various ways... Now am planning to get back to dating... Coz it's 2014! Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Pertaining to the OP I'd say it depends on the woman but in this day and age it's probably the norm. Common sense should know that if a woman is average or better, she has options, more than her counterpart. Women will say they don't and say men have equal options or say they can get laid easier than men but men find R's easier lol. First of all, men are the pursuers and secondly, most people are in R's or married. They're not causally sleeping around (cheaters aside). Why is it that when I see a woman whos'e body is proportionate to mine? odds are she's with a guy skinnier than me? Why can't she date a chunky guy like me? Is it because she has more options and s skinny guy will be along shortly? Not according to most of the women here. I stoped listening to most of the women here a long time ago. Men are the pursuers but women are the choosers and have more options which is why a man should wait for them to bring up the "what are we?" talk. I used to think otherwise but I was wrong. I truly beleive it should be the other way around and it is for mabye 5% of women but you gotta play the game, not change it or bitch about why it is that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Pretty much any semi-desirable woman will have some other guy waiting in the wings. A guy who at least thinks he owns that, who's about to find out he wasn't even renting it. I am sad for you to have this mindset I only have eyes for my boyfriend. There is no one waiting in the wings. There is no other man I'm seeing, talking to, flirting with, or even LOOKING at. I have no interest in others. I adore my guy and he adores me. I am very grateful for what me and him have, but I am sad that others truly believe such a scenario could never even exist. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Depressing as it may sound, I completely agree. I haven't given up though... After the string of poor prospects from my social circle I've trusted so much (or tried to!!)... I've finally stuck my toe in the OLD world again recently. A paid site. I just started talking with a guy who grew up in the same area I did down in FL. Funny... he said in one of his first emails that he felt like a fish out of water here in Upstate NY. So, we'll see. I also joined the gym down the street from me... have been going regularly to hiking and running group events.... not giving up! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I've never had much problem running into "single" single women - the trouble is really my inegibility . Maybe because my mindset is different and my social circles are diverse that I don't have this problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I haven't given up though... After the string of poor prospects from my social circle I've trusted so much (or tried to!!)... I've finally stuck my toe in the OLD world again recently. A paid site. I just started talking with a guy who grew up in the same area I did down in FL. Funny... he said in one of his first emails that he felt like a fish out of water here in Upstate NY. So, we'll see. I also joined the gym down the street from me... have been going regularly to hiking and running group events.... not giving up! No, there is absolutely no need to give up. There are good people out there and I didn't know half the things 10 years ago about myself that I know now. I'm in a much better position to find an LTR than in the past. Not everything gets handed on a plate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sand Man Dan Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 No, there is absolutely no need to give up. There are good people out there and I didn't know half the things 10 years ago about myself that I know now. I'm in a much better position to find an LTR than in the past. Not everything gets handed on a plate. Your point is valid, but it's tough for those who haven't even experienced a "sign of life" in their attempts to attract those of the opposite sex to keep a positive outlook when there's been little to no indication in the entirety of their lives that they even are able to attract someone. It's hard to have blind confidence. It's tempting to just give up hope because its finally something CERTAIN Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I am sad for you to have this mindset I only have eyes for my boyfriend. There is no one waiting in the wings. There is no other man I'm seeing, talking to, flirting with, or even LOOKING at. I have no interest in others. I adore my guy and he adores me. I am very grateful for what me and him have, but I am sad that others truly believe such a scenario could never even exist. In the line you quoted your boyfriend is the man waiting in the wings. You adore him and he adores you right now. It is called the honeymoon phase. Your relationship may well go the distance, however statistically speaking most relationships end. Why do they end? Odds are someone or the other finds a bigger better deal, or gets caught cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
straightshooter82 Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 (edited) No, sorry darling, it's not true. It's significantly easier for a woman, especially at your age of mid 20s, to get into a relationship than a man. Even in your post you mention you went through 10 men before your current boyfriend, and you weren't even involved in OLD or the bar scene. Sounds like the reason it was somewhat hard for you to get a relationship is because you're really picky, not because the 10 men didn't want a relationship with you. Because it is true. More women are relationship minded than men, mostly because men can get away with a slutty lifestyle free of judgment. ALso, our society still thinks a woman without a man is worthless but a man without a woman isnt (George Clooney and spinster are terms used for the same situation...notice how one is positive and one is degrading?) Edited May 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Women on this site for some reason have the opinion that there's a large percentage of men out there who aren't interested in relationships. I have no idea why this is the case. 90% or so of men get married at some point during their lives in the US so obviously the statistics show that men want to have relationships and make long-term commitments. You mean among the ones who aren't child molestors, criminals, addicts, serial cheaters, gay, or hitting on women young enough to be their daughters? Women have a smaller pool of DECENT men to choose from than the other way around. At any age. That's ok. That's why we have semen banks, adoption, and test tube babies. ... and cats. Let's not forget cats. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 ... and cats. Let's not forget cats. I've been thinking about getting a dog...a boy dog..*feels like a traitor and runs>>>>>>* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I've been thinking about getting a dog...a boy dog..*feels like a traitor and runs>>>>>>* I have a dog. I had both a female and male dog. The female would try to hump the male... he'd get his revenge by peeing on her when she was peeing. I had to put her to sleep when she got a brain tumor... I still have him. He's super sweet. A little snapshot of life lol Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 You mean among the ones who aren't child molestors, criminals, addicts, serial cheaters, gay, or hitting on women young enough to be their daughters? Women have a smaller pool of DECENT men to choose from than the other way around. At any age. That's ok. That's why we have semen banks, adoption, and test tube babies. ... and cats. Let's not forget cats. Part of women's problems in dating comes from having too high of a bar for who's "decent". By which I mean a woman who is out of shape, broke, uneducated and not good looking, who wants to date a Justin Beiber, or Hugh Jackman look alike with a net worth of six figures. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sand Man Dan Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Part of women's problems in dating comes from having too high of a bar for who's "decent". By which I mean a woman who is out of shape, broke, uneducated and not good looking, who wants to date a Justin Beiber, or Hugh Jackman look alike with a net worth of six figures. Seems pretty unrealistically extreme 1 Link to post Share on other sites
peruano99 Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I mean like really single, by themselves, not seeing anyone at all. Seems for the longest time, that most girls I meet or know as friends, even if they are single, they are hooking up with someone, casually seeing someone, or talking to someone new. I mean, a lot of girls wont generally admit it, but having good chick friends is an eye opener into the lives of certain women. Its a rarity to see guys have the same sort of single life. And tbh, it makes me expect a girl I take interest in to already have a dude on the side. I mean it seems like even the goodie goodie girls I know are weighing options around them. eye opener really. You made two threads bashing women. I think the women around you are bad examples. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 In other words, Kaylan... your best bet to find a solid, lasting relationship is no better than it is now. Stop wasting your time with this casual shyte... otherwise you can and likely will end up in this crappy pool for life... or take a very long time to escape it. I agree with this. There are people (men and women) obsessed with the BBD, and "getting theirs", or having fun.....and then there are people who genuinely look to connect, give and get, and be a partner. Those in the latter group become rarer as time goes on, as they are mostly in relationships--leaving the appearance that "all men/women" are obsessed with the former. I'm going to two weddings in 2014. Both of the brides are in their late 20s. There is no one in the wings. These women are in love! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I agree with this. There are people (men and women) obsessed with the BBD, and "getting theirs", or having fun.....and then there are people who genuinely look to connect, give and get, and be a partner. Those in the latter group become rarer as time goes on, as they are mostly in relationships--leaving the appearance that "all men/women" are obsessed with the former. I'm going to two weddings in 2014. Both of the brides are in their late 20s. There is no one in the wings. These women are in love! The man they are marrying is the man in the wings. Haven't you seen the OP write of being in what he thought were R's with women who turned out to be married? Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 For your poll, I've been single and celibate for a year. I've had some interested guys, but I'm not ready for another relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sand Man Dan Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 The man they are marrying is the man in the wings. Haven't you seen the OP write of being in what he thought were R's with women who turned out to be married? That makes exactly...calculating...NO SENSE 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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