Hey, guys! Want to see a REAL woman???

[xxoo]

I don't see anything wrong with you having your own preferences.

 

The thing is that nobody ASKED anyone to rate her or whether or not they would have sex with her or date her. That was not the purpose of her pictures being up at all. Why do people feel the need to constantly talk about that? What about, y'know, the actual meat and potatoes of the article? Do you agree with that? Disagree? Why?

 

Frankly I don't think most people are interested in whether or not you (or anyone else here) would date/bang them, unless they specifically ask. If they do, please go for it.

 

Exactly. The purpose of the blog isn't to ask "what do you think of me?"

 

The purpose is to show the body of a woman who takes care of herself, feels good about herself, and is considered attractive by many, while not looking like the images from the magazines.

 

Most women in relationships don't look like images from the magazines. Most men in relationships don't look anything like the cover of Men's Health! Still, we are very attracted to our partners. Very.

 

Probably, people with greater capacity to perceive beauty have an easier time in relationships than those with lesser capacity to perceive beauty.

[ltjg45]

I don't see anything wrong with you having your own preferences.

 

The thing is that nobody ASKED anyone to rate her or whether or not they would have sex with her or date her. That was not the purpose of her pictures being up at all. Why do people feel the need to constantly talk about that? What about, y'know, the actual meat and potatoes of the article? Do you agree with that? Disagree? Why?

 

Frankly I don't think most people are interested in whether or not you (or anyone else here) would date/bang them, unless they specifically ask. If they do, please go for it.

 

I agree with the general message. Whether or not it has any value to it is another thing.

 

The only message I really got out of it is that you need to be content being single. More often than not, if you have to get to that stage in your life to do this, that is exactly the fate you are stuck with.

 

Might as well at least come to terms with it, if nothing else.

[Eternal Sunshine]

No, she asked for my assessment of the lady in the blog; and I kindly obliged.

 

You just threw me under the bus :mad:

[Anela]

This is a 5 (to some)?

http://fitmamatraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/prettymama.jpg

 

Tough crowd. And look at her photo up in the top right hand corner. She resembles Katherine Heigl there. If she's only a 5, then that would make me a 2.

 

I agree with that.

 

Now we must wait for judgement of other wiminz that hate "the scale"

 

 

You rang? I'm one of the wimminz that hates the scale.

 

If looks out-rate someone's general way of being, when it comes to standards being high, then a lot of us in the world would be out of luck.

Edited April 20, 2013 by Anela

[somedude81]

If men are "grossed out" by this, it's just beyond me how they will cope with aging and women's bodies after kids.

So women look like her after they have kids?

[somedude81]

What does this show? That the woman in the blog is not attractive?

ES was claiming that she looked better than most women in her height/weight class and I was disagreeing.

 

She's attractive to many men. Most partnered men have women who look more like her than the woman you linked. if she's not attractive to you, what does that say about you?

That I don't find the loose, extra skin on a woman attractive.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Just imagine this example conversation between two friends at a bar:

 

Girl 1: Hey, look at that guy who just walked in, isn't he good looking?

 

Girl 2: I don't know. I don't know what his personality is like.

 

 

As absurd as that example is, it just shows that you can say someone is or is not physically attractive without judging their overall attractiveness...

 

I think that it's the "once removed" stance that you "scale users" take that is very alien to me.

 

First, I just don't judge people against an objective standard of beauty. I simply don't. Yes, I think the "scale" is lame, but I'm not taking a stance about that here.

 

I can easily look at a person and recognize that they are physically beautiful without having any response AT ALL to it. I recognize it in women exactly as easily as in men. I don't, and even CAN'T, rate the people on a scale where they're compared against one another. My mind and senses do not work that way.

 

The bar scenario? I think it's really over simplified and there is not room in it for what really happens. Sure people who are like I am will recognize that the good looking guy is, in fact, a good looking guy. This does not illicit a response out of me other than a mild appreciation of his looks.

 

It's his energy, the life inside of him that shows, his mannerisms, the way he moves, his presence, his gestures, behavior, etc. that would get my interest. Yes, I take all that stuff in at first sight. And, this is ALL part of initial PHYSICAL ATTRACTION for ME. That stuff is what gets me interested even on a physical level. I don't need to "get to know him" first for it all to be in play. That stuff combined with liking the looks of the guy, also - but not even considering or "judging" where his looks fall within a comparison with other people.

 

"Personality" comes later. If all that stuff I just listed above is happening and I get to know the guy and do not LIKE him, all bets are off. Maybe I'd have a ONS with said guy, if I worked that way, though I do not.

 

Also, "personality" is overrated. "Personality" is almost as external as looks, IMO. It is not the essence or the soul of a person. What "personality" encompasses is quite limited.

 

I've written this before: I met my husband through OLD. I saw hundreds of pictures of men on those sites. Some of them were very handsome. But I felt connected with the pictures my husband had chosen to post. Yes, I though he was super cute and cool looking. A lot of that had to do with the expression on his face and the way he was posing which showed me right away that he saw the humor and oddity of this whole endeavor.

 

In that case, the flood of perceptions I had at first sight guided me well, and we ended up married.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

My point is, media images aside, if women have issues with physically unattractive men who judge women's looks harshly, then you should punish those physically unattractive men by not considering them for dating. When they realize that they are no longer marketable, they will either improve themselves or not date.

 

I think that already happens. Hence some of the lonely men on LS.

 

I think it's nice that woman's sexuality is more fluid in that regard. That they appreciate men, as men. As they are, instead of requiring them to get implants, face lifts or wear make up to be better.

 

I don't think the issue is ugly men staying ugly. I think the issue is that man haven't evolved as far as women have in this regard.

[Emilia]

Ask Pyro...

 

I worked it out. You and race

[carhill]

Hey, guys! Want to see a REAL woman???

 

Ha! I was married to one.

 

First impressions: Northern European. Great lips. Expressive face. Big-boned, typical of that area. Nice thighs. She could heft hay bales at my place anytime. Thanks.

[ltjg45]

The purpose is to show the body of a woman who takes care of herself, feels good about herself, and is considered attractive by many, while not looking like the images from the magazines.

 

And I'm just explaining why that is simply not enough for most males.

 

I can see a male actually wanting to be with her for a relationship but I can also see the sex life of that relationship, when given with an average male, to be very lacking.

 

Males need the physical attraction to be sexually active. My mind was cold when I saw her images. I couldn't even get the courage to approach her if I saw her in public.

 

So, yeah, great personality but unless I'm willing to give up sex permanently, I can't see me actually sticking with her in the long run.

 

I'm glad she did find a male that do want all of her. She does deserve it.

[xxoo]

ES was claiming that she looked better than most women in her height/weight class and I was disagreeing.

 

Finding one woman who looks better to you doesn't make her wrong.

 

In answer to your question about after kids, yes, many women have looser belly skin after pregnancy, regardless of weight gain during. How much looser depends on the woman. But it is normal and to be expected. Waists are often a bit thicker after pregnancy, too, even if she's returned to her pre-pregnancy weight.

[xxoo]

And I'm just explaining why that is simply not enough for most males.

 

I can see a male actually wanting to be with her for a relationship but I can also see the sex life of that relationship, when given with an average male, to be very lacking.

 

The married men here seem to disagree!

 

Please believe me, ltjg, many men would consider her a HOT partner, and the attraction would be strong.

 

What sort of body would it take to hold your interest?

[sweetjasmine]

The married men here seem to disagree!

 

Please believe me, ltjg, many men would consider her a HOT partner, and the attraction would be strong.

 

Based on what some of the fellas on here say, it's amazing that more than 10,000 people in the US ever get married and have sex on a regular basis.

 

Can you imagine the population crisis we'd face if the vast majority of men didn't find anyone who looked like the woman in question attractive at all?

[ltjg45]

The married men here seem to disagree!

 

Please believe me, ltjg, many men would consider her a HOT partner, and the attraction would be strong.

 

What sort of body would it take to hold your interest?

 

It's hard to say since I tend to be attracted to quite a few decent-looking women. Rarely would I find one so attractive, I can't control myself. When I do, I don't approach her because I'm sure she has been hit on and turned down better guys than I am.

 

All I can say, at this point, is someone who is slimmer than her. Everything else is too vague for me to be confident enough to say and stick behind.

 

With that said, I got to drop down to 120 pounds and build up some muscle so I know why I'm a dating failure.

[tbf]

This thread is an excellent example of societal messages received by women!

[Weezy1973]

I'm actually kind of surprised by some of the responses - my first reaction to the article was that it wasn't anyway indicative of a "real" woman. It was an extremely attractive woman who literally had to slouch and make faces to look less attractive.

 

I'm not sure about rating scales - and this could just speak to the subjectivity of attractiveness - but I would think she's definitely above average - like a '7' easily. A '5' (i.e. average) in my opinion would look more like this:

 

Browse Photos - My Body Gallery - What Real Women Look Like

 

I definitely see how media images have completely altered our vision of "average"...

[somedude81]

Finding one woman who looks better to you doesn't make her wrong.

I found many more than one woman. I didn't want to take the time to link them all.

 

In answer to your question about after kids, yes, many women have looser belly skin after pregnancy, regardless of weight gain during. How much looser depends on the woman. But it is normal and to be expected. Waists are often a bit thicker after pregnancy, too, even if she's returned to her pre-pregnancy weight.

Was the stomach of the woman in the picture the norm after childbirth? So she is a representation of what men should expect?

[xxoo]

I found many more than one woman. I didn't want to take the time to link them all.

 

 

Was the stomach of the woman in the picture the norm after childbirth? So she is a representation of what men should expect?

 

Her stomach looks a lot flatter than many women's after a baby. There is a website called Shape of a Mother where women upload their before and afters, with a tag for "belly", if you want to see the range.

 

Some women have no changes, but I do think that's the minority.

 

Did you read that she was slouching to accentuate her deep belly button?

[LittleTiger]

I met my husband through OLD. I saw hundreds of pictures of men on those sites. Some of them were very handsome. But I felt connected with the pictures my husband had chosen to post. Yes, I though he was super cute and cool looking. A lot of that had to do with the expression on his face and the way he was posing which showed me right away that he saw the humor and oddity of this whole endeavor.

 

In that case, the flood of perceptions I had at first sight guided me well, and we ended up married.

 

Your whole post was great Mme.C but I had to highlight this - I could have written it myself!

 

I met my fiancé online too. One photograph of him just blew me away and it wasn't even a particularly flattering photo of him. He was in running gear, having just finished a very long trail run - he looked exhausted, dishevelled, relaxed and happy! He shone from the inside out.

 

When I first saw him walk through the arrivals doors at the airport after he'd been travelling for 30 hours, it was like watching that photograph come alive.

 

His energy, the life inside of him, his mannerisms, the way he moves, his presence, his gestures, his behaviour - I have to agree with you 100% - these are the things that make my guy irresistibly attractive. I also happen to like him rather a lot too!

 

I have no idea where he would fall on this imaginary comparison scale that LSers seem so keen on and I couldn't care less. He thinks I'm hot and I think he's hot - 'nuff said!

[LittleTiger]

The married men here seem to disagree!

 

Please believe me, ltjg, many men would consider her a HOT partner, and the attraction would be strong.

 

What sort of body would it take to hold your interest?

 

I think the biggest problem here is that the inexperienced guys who are 'turned off' by a normal, healthy women with a beautiful but imperfect body have never been in love.

 

Until they experience feelings of desire for a woman based on more than the arrangement and size of her body parts, they probably won't understand how an imperfect woman can be HOT!

[KraftDinner]

The funny thing about things like this where we're supposed to celebrate "real women," people act like they're being so charitable. "Oh she's so beautiful, despite not being perfect."

 

Well, in my opinion, this woman is better than average. So thinking she looks good is hardly a stretch.

[Andy_K]

She's got an awesome lower body. You can always spot a girl who knows how to work out. Shame about the extra belly skin really. If she hadn't been 100lbs heavier in the past who knows how good she might look now.

 

Having spent the last decade going to the gym regularly, I've found my tastes are increasingly geared towards girls who have good muscle tone, rather than just how skinny they are, as the media would have you believe most guys think.

[123321]

Thicker than I like, for reasons that the non-optimal pictures should drive home. Fat can be coerced, corralled, cajoled, into looking OK or even great for a photo but in real life the truth comes out.

 

Slim girls just don't have those issues.

 

But I'm glad there seems to someone for everyone.

[Els]

And I'm just explaining why that is simply not enough for most males.

 

There are really only two ways to explain this.

 

1) Either you are right, most men would find her very unappealing - and that means that most men, if they do not put themselves at the 'top' of the food chain, would either find themselves resigning to a lifetime of settling or a lifetime of singlehood. At any rate, most men below the top, say, 1%, would have a very, very unhappy life.

 

2) You are wrong, and this only speaks for yourself and the other guys on this board.

 

Which do you think it is?