Emilia Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I don't think it is any coincidence that the men who have trouble dating find this normal, healthy woman lacking in attractiveness. Really, it's their loss. I find it quite a curious phenomenon that most of the guys here who are making disparaging comments about her body, are the ones who constantly post about how dating is so hard and how they can never get a gf. Coincidence, perhaps? No? I think it's unnecessary to make it so personal, it's not any better than criticising a complete stranger Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I could possibly have phrased it better. I definitely don't think that means those guys are inherently unlovable or undateable. Realizing a correlation may be the first step in helping them, though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 One is in his early 30's. It really doesn't matter. It's a perfect example of what the blog author was talking about. It's up to us as individuals to figure this out for ourselves. That even if you workout and eat raw food and slave to keep a perfect body you have to love yourself first. Same goes for us ladies who are petite but curvy and totally have celulite and stretch marks. And bigger girls too!!! We've got to let it go. No amount of picking yourself or anyone else apart will increase your sense of selfworth or love. In fact it does the opposite. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Edit: And it really irks me that it seems to be impossible to talk about female body image issues on LS without it turning into the exact opposite of what the thread was intended to achieve. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I think it's unnecessary to make it so personal, it's not any better than criticising a complete stranger I'm not disparaging them. I'm pointing out that they judge women more harshly than men in relationships. The partnered men on the thread tend to find her attractive, while the chronically single men don't believe she is attractive enough. I don't think that is a coincidence. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I'm not disparaging them. I'm pointing out that they judge women more harshly than men in relationships. The partnered men on the thread tend to find her attractive, while the chronically single men don't believe she is attractive enough. I don't think that is a coincidence. Though I don't know if the sample size is large enough or representative enough to make such a correlation... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 So bascially you think women should be more shallow with hither physical expectations just like men.... and that solves what again? It's a suitable solution to you because it doesn't require men to learn and grow themselves. Just make women do everything right? I am so sick and tired of advice that men give about all the ways women can bend, change and flex while men can sit back drinking beer and judging women's bodies left and right. Actually, no, you have to consider the second and third order effects. If women were more shallow as a whole, it would raise the expectation of what an attractive man is from its current level. By raising the standards and expectations, you are actually forcing men to "bend, change and flex" to fit into the mold of the attractive man. It does require men to learn and grow themselves. Basically, women have to do what men do when it comes to physical appearance. Have standards. You even said before that men infact don't have realisitic expectations. How about men wake up? Do men want to be products of media conditioning, video games, pornography and the likes of that? Maybe men should step away from male centric media that pre-defines unrealistic expectations of women's bodies? Or women should inject unrealistic expectations of men's bodies into media. Wait, they already do. It's just that women are still willing to give the physically unattractive men a chance. That's on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I think it's unnecessary to make it so personal, it's not any better than criticising a complete stranger I don't like to criticise complete strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 We all are. If you see beauty where I do not, does that mean the beauty you saw was not real? Hmmmm, good point here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I only like to critcise those I know. And usually for their thoughts more than their looks. ... Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Actually, no, you have to consider the second and third order effects. If women were more shallow as a whole, it would raise the expectation of what an attractive man is from its current level. By raising the standards and expectations, you are actually forcing men to "bend, change and flex" to fit into the mold of the attractive man. It does require men to learn and grow themselves. Basically, women have to do what men do when it comes to physical appearance. Have standards. . But I don't think it's healthy the wy men expect women to bend, change, flex and mold to fit their standards. Considering so many of them are unrealisitc. People should work to be healthy, that should be the standard. Not abritrary media images of buff men and built women. And being healthy looks different sometimes on different people. Some people are very skinny and healthy others are very skinny and not healthy. Some people are more beefy and healthy and others aren't. Or women should inject unrealistic expectations of men's bodies into media. Wait, they already do. It's just that women are still willing to give the physically unattractive men a chance. That's on you To me that seems like a much healther way to view people than holding out for airbrushed images. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I see your point but you know I don't think I can. Anyone I don't want to date I see as 'I don't want to date'. Not because of some PC thing believe me, I suppose I see that they are seen objectively as 'good looking' I can certainly see when someone is very asymmetrical, etc but if I don't find someone attractive, I struggle to rate their level of unattractiveness in a rating system. Just imagine this example conversation between two friends at a bar: Girl 1: Hey, look at that guy who just walked in, isn't he good looking? Girl 2: I don't know. I don't know what his personality is like. As absurd as that example is, it just shows that you can say someone is or is not physically attractive without judging their overall attractiveness... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 But I don't think it's healthy the wy men expect women to bend, change, flex and mold to fit their standards. Considering so many of them are unrealisitc. People should work to be healthy, that should be the standard. Not abritrary media images of buff men and built women. And being healthy looks different sometimes on different people. Some people are very skinny and healthy others are very skinny and not healthy. Some people are more beefy and healthy and others aren't. To me that seems like a much healther way to view people than holding out for airbrushed images. My point is, media images aside, if women have issues with physically unattractive men who judge women's looks harshly, then you should punish those physically unattractive men by not considering them for dating. When they realize that they are no longer marketable, they will either improve themselves or not date. Bottom line: Even if you encourage ugly men to stay ugly because you're still willing to date them, it doesn't mean that they will do the same for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 My point is, media images aside, if women have issues with physically unattractive men who judge women's looks harshly, then you should punish those physically unattractive men by not considering them for dating. When they realize that they are no longer marketable, they will either improve themselves or not date. Bottom line: Even if you encourage ugly men to stay ugly because you're still willing to date them, it doesn't mean that they will do the same for you. This is sort of what my male friends say when I ask why certain tribes of men exist. Their answer is like yours 'if women didn't date them, they wouldn't exist'. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Just imagine this example conversation between two friends at a bar: Girl 1: Hey, look at that guy who just walked in, isn't he good looking? Girl 2: I don't know. I don't know what his personality is like. As absurd as that example is, it just shows that you can say someone is or is not physically attractive without judging their overall attractiveness... That's me I watch the way he carries himself, how he is with his friends before I make up my mind. Unless he reminds me of someone, I can be subjective that way (like we all can) As I said, I can see wether someone is objectively good looking but whether I find him attractive or not I will not know until I observe him, sorry People don't believe me but this is how I see it. This is why I struggle with OLD. Exactly for this reason. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 That's me ... People don't believe me but this is how I see it. This is why I struggle with OLD. Exactly for this reason. You must be happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 You must be happy. How do you mean? I wish I were more outgoing in this sense. Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 See, this is the problem. She probably has a better body than an average American woman. Apart from some loose skin on her stomach, her body looks pretty good. I wonder what you look like to think you need to have a gf with a model looking body. No wonder you are single. Model-looking body? I don't need that. She just doesn't have the features that would make me want to "jump on her bones". I seen a few average-looking women with a different skin tone that would make me more excited than this. Esp. without make-up. That's all. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 How do you mean? I wish I were more outgoing in this sense. Ask Pyro... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 She's happily married, so it looks like you're in the clear: I'm very glad to hear of that, actually. She does deserve it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Model-looking body? I don't need that. She just doesn't have the features that would make me want to "jump on her bones". I seen a few average-looking women with a different skin tone that would make me more excited than this. Esp. without make-up. That's all. I don't see anything wrong with you having your own preferences. The thing is that nobody ASKED anyone to rate her or whether or not they would have sex with her or date her. That was not the purpose of her pictures being up at all. Why do people feel the need to constantly talk about that? What about, y'know, the actual meat and potatoes of the article? Do you agree with that? Disagree? Why? Frankly I don't think most people are interested in whether or not you (or anyone else here) would date/bang them, unless they specifically ask. If they do, please go for it. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 The thing is that nobody ASKED anyone to rate her or whether or not they would have sex with her or date her. That was not the purpose of her pictures being up at all. Why do people feel the need to constantly talk about that? What about, y'know, the actual meat and potatoes of the article? Do you agree with that? Disagree? Why? Frankly I don't think most people are interested in whether or not you (or anyone else here) would date/bang them, unless they specifically ask. If they do, please go for it. I believe ES directly asked me how I would rate her physically appearance, on a scale of 1-10... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I believe ES directly asked me how I would rate her physically appearance, on a scale of 1-10... Please comment on ES all you like, if she did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Please comment on ES all you like, if she did. No, she asked for my assessment of the lady in the blog; and I kindly obliged. Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 This is incredibly sad! I hope you are very young and have lack of experience on your side. If not, it is likely that you will be very disappointed for the rest of your life. I suppose you could just keep 'trading up' for younger, fitter, more toned women as you start to grow old and sag yourself. Very young? I doubt it. I am 26. I doubt that counts as "very young" anymore. Lack of experience? No kidding. Still a virgin here. Never had a relationship. The women down here in Jax FL disgusts me more than anything. If I were to rate myself on a scale, I would call myself, at the best, a 5. In other words, barely worth looking at. Makes sense when the only one that has any interest in me is a 35-year old bipolar Russian woman with 2 kids. You should probably also warn any woman you 'fall in love' with that once she has children and her perfect body is gone, you will lose all desire for sex with her and be looking elsewhere! Wrong. I want to settle down but, in order for me to have an active sex life, I have got to feel the physical attraction. If I don't, it's not going to work at all. There is no ifs, ands, or buts. If I have children with her, I'm not going to leave her for the benefit of the children. I will respect and love her for who she is. I can't say the same for the sex life though. If I'm not feeling it, the only thing I aim for while in the bed is to make sure she is happy. I have seen women out there that I can't even feel a thing from them. I have seen a few women attractive enough, you can see the erection if someone were to look because that incident happened 2 days ago, as a matter of fact. I'm already ashamed enough to admit that. Despite the fact that physical attraction is needed for me to have an active sex life, I avoid the "hot, slim, sexy" women like the one I had that erection a few days ago. I know that I got no chance with her. I'm probably not even her type. I can't keep attraction or interest with women who isn't as pretty as her. And despite I lust for her, I would have any chance of getting to release that lust? Not a chance. I know I'm hopeless. I'm sure I will be single for the rest of my life. I already came into terms with that because my "game" is utterly pitiful. No point trying any further. It only makes the situation even worse. Link to post Share on other sites
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