My life is over.. I think I am getting dumped.

[Treasa]

This morning I was letting my dog out before work, and a woman in my building had a toddler in tow and was also lugging a carseat with an infant in it. She was trying to also juggle her coffee, diaper bag, and purse.

 

The toddler was giving her a hard time about going down the stairs, complaining about his outfit, and I could see the stress on her face about just trying to get her brood loaded into the car and heaven forbid she didn't make it to work on time. LOL In that moment I pictured my leisurely morning where I can read the paper and iron my pants... while she is probably dealing with throw-up, bottles, temper tantrums, and on top of all that she is probably running on 4 hours of sleep.

 

And here I stress out when my golden takes too long to take a dump!

 

Oh, I don't know. I think we single people have it pretty hard, too. Last night I had to decide between crackers and cheese dip or frozen cookie dough, and THEN I had to DVR Game of Thrones so I could watch it after Wrestlemania.

 

Life is tough.

[Drseussgrrl]

Oh, I don't know. I think we single people have it pretty hard, too. Last night I had to decide between crackers and cheese dip or frozen cookie dough, and THEN I had to DVR Game of Thrones so I could watch it after Wrestlemania.

 

Life is tough.

 

Dude. I love Shameless AND Game of Thrones. I don't have a DVR in my room though, even though I'd love to watch it in bed.

 

So I HAVE to watch it on the couch, while the other is recording - and stay up til 11!! OH THE HORROR!

[ltjg45]

Oh, I don't know. I think we single people have it pretty hard, too. Last night I had to decide between crackers and cheese dip or frozen cookie dough, and THEN I had to DVR Game of Thrones so I could watch it after Wrestlemania.

 

Life is tough.

 

Well, I would be happy being single.....if I didn't have to take the problems/responsibilities from my mother and my 2 brothers.

 

So, yeah, in my case, life is tough.

 

I do envy you though. I would be fine being single (like, truly single) and not be too overly concerned with dating.

 

The chance of me finding a female that I can click well enough to marry?

 

I think my chances are higher winning the top price off of a scratch-off ticket.

[Treasa]

Well, I would be happy being single.....if I didn't have to take the problems/responsibilities from my mother and my 2 brothers.

 

So, yeah, in my case, life is tough.

 

I do envy you though. I would be fine being single (like, truly single) and not be too overly concerned with dating.

 

The chance of me finding a female that I can click well enough to marry?

 

I think my chances are higher winning the top price off of a scratch-off ticket.

 

Oh, trust me, I know the stress of taking care of others. I support/help take care of my uncle, who is ailing, and have been for a while.

 

But I love being single. My best friend is male, and honestly, I don't need a boyfriend or a husband to be happy. My life is better than it's ever been.

[KungFuJoe]

Dude. I love Shameless AND Game of Thrones. I don't have a DVR in my room though, even though I'd love to watch it in bed.

 

So I HAVE to watch it on the couch, while the other is recording - and stay up til 11!! OH THE HORROR!

 

I love GOT as well. Wife and I burned through the entire first season in two days. We've both been sick so have just been ordering pizza and Chinese food and the kids have had to fend for themselves, which luckily they have been ok with.

 

But yeah...as someone with three kids (who I love very much) and rarely a time when there isn't someone asking for a glass of juice, or to help them with something on minecraft, or just plain breaking up fights between my two little girls, you single people should have fun being single and free....while it lasts.

[Drseussgrrl]

Oh, trust me, I know the stress of taking care of others. I support/help take care of my uncle, who is ailing, and have been for a while.

 

But I love being single. My best friend is male, and honestly, I don't need a boyfriend or a husband to be happy. My life is better than it's ever been.

 

It's SO liberating when you realize that you're perfectly content with your life as-is, take or leave the BF.

 

I visited my girlfriends out in the 'burbs over the weekend. It was chatter about paint color, the baby-wipe heater, crusted nipples and annoying in-laws.

 

While I am happy for them, I couldn't wait to meet up with my other single friends at our favorite watering hole later and watch basketball and drink beer, knowing I could sleep in the next day and catch brunch.

[clia]

Dude. I love Shameless AND Game of Thrones. I don't have a DVR in my room though, even though I'd love to watch it in bed.

 

So I HAVE to watch it on the couch, while the other is recording - and stay up til 11!! OH THE HORROR!

 

And now Mad Men has started again, so that adds even more complications to DVRing on Sunday nights. You are right -- it is horrific!

 

To the OP -- here you are again. You dived headfirst (against the advice of everyone) into this relationship. You once again (as you did with your last boyfriend) claim this guy is perfect, even though you've barely known him two months. He's not perfect. He isn't even close to perfect. You've only met him in person what, three or four times? And you feel like your life is ending? And you are willing to let your grades suffer? Come on! Snap out of it!

 

Here's the cold, hard truth -- if this guy hasn't made any effort to see you in the past three weeks, he's not that into you. I don't care how many hours he's working. If you mean anything to him, he can spare an hour once a week to see you. (He has to eat -- he can meet you for breakfast, lunch or dinner once a week for 30-60 minutes. There you go.)

 

Here's another truth -- you and he aren't compatible if he is willing to go three weeks without seeing you. You need a guy who wants to and is able to see you every day (or at least every other day). You need attention. There are guys out there who want to be with their girlfriends all the time. Find one of them. This is not a relationship that is going to work for you long term. It already isn't working, yet you are trying to convince yourself that it is because you are so desperate for a boyfriend. You'll take any boyfriend -- even one who doesn't want to see you for three weeks.

 

You feel like your life is over because you put every ounce of importance into having a relationship and zero into all the other cool things that are happening in your life -- such as graduating from college. After many months and many threads, you still haven't looked for a job, found any hobbies, or done anything to try to place less importance on getting married and having a baby. You are still right where you started.

 

I don't think you were wrong regarding the message of your text. (I think you should have actually spoken to him about it with your voices instead of your fingers, though.) In fact, I think you should break up with this guy yourself. You can tell him very sweetly that you are very into him, but you do not want to have a boyfriend who you never see, so if his schedule lightens up, he should call you. Then you should go back to online dating and trying to meet a new guy.

[Treasa]

I love GOT as well. Wife and I burned through the entire first season in two days. We've both been sick so have just been ordering pizza and Chinese food and the kids have had to fend for themselves, which luckily they have been ok with.

 

But yeah...as someone with three kids (who I love very much) and rarely a time when there isn't someone asking for a glass of juice, or to help them with something on minecraft, or just plain breaking up fights between my two little girls, you single people should have fun being single and free....while it lasts.

 

Dude, it's gonna last as long as I want it to last. I have a marriage proposition on the table from one guy that's pretty much life-standing, but I'm just not interested in marriage or my own kids. I'm happy for others who do want it, but I really love my freedom. Go to the gym in the middle of the night? No problem! Hop on a plane to Ireland? Ok, I have to find someone to take care of my pets, but no problem!

[Divasu]

And now Mad Men has started again, so that adds even more complications to DVRing on Sunday nights. You are right -- it is horrific!

 

To the OP -- here you are again. You dived headfirst (against the advice of everyone) into this relationship. You once again (as you did with your last boyfriend) claim this guy is perfect, even though you've barely known him two months. He's not perfect. He isn't even close to perfect. You've only met him in person what, three or four times? And you feel like your life is ending? And you are willing to let your grades suffer? Come on! Snap out of it!

 

Here's the cold, hard truth -- if this guy hasn't made any effort to see you in the past three weeks, he's not that into you. I don't care how many hours he's working. If you mean anything to him, he can spare an hour once a week to see you. (He has to eat -- he can meet you for breakfast, lunch or dinner once a week for 30-60 minutes. There you go.)

 

Here's another truth -- you and he aren't compatible if he is willing to go three weeks without seeing you. You need a guy who wants to and is able to see you every day (or at least every other day). You need attention. There are guys out there who want to be with their girlfriends all the time. Find one of them. This is not a relationship that is going to work for you long term. It already isn't working, yet you are trying to convince yourself that it is because you are so desperate for a boyfriend. You'll take any boyfriend -- even one who doesn't want to see you for three weeks.

 

You feel like your life is over because you put every ounce of importance into having a relationship and zero into all the other cool things that are happening in your life -- such as graduating from college. After many months and many threads, you still haven't looked for a job, found any hobbies, or done anything to try to place less importance on getting married and having a baby. You are still right where you started.

 

I don't think you were wrong regarding the message of your text. (I think you should have actually spoken to him about it with your voices instead of your fingers, though.) In fact, I think you should break up with this guy yourself. You can tell him very sweetly that you are very into him, but you do not want to have a boyfriend who you never see, so if his schedule lightens up, he should call you. Then you should go back to online dating and trying to meet a new guy.

 

Very insightful.

[KatZee]

Anyways idk I mean I thought if you were good and believed in God and went to church and did all that good stuff you were supposed to receive good things. I haven't gotten the good things

 

You're not "supposed" to receive anything. It's not like you can say, "Oh hey I go to church on Sunday's... where are my rewards?!?!" If you're sitting back and not helping yourself.

 

Life is not so black and white as to say, "I'm a good person so now I obviously deserve good things." You work for it, you put in the time, you put in the effort.

 

Also, God knows where you're at in life and right now I don't think a relationship is right for you and He knows that too. He's throwing tests at you, again, tests you need to PASS. And you're failing. This is why you're not reaping any benefits. The same test is going to come again, and again and again until you get it.

 

No one in this life is just going to hand you things because you think you're a good person and because you believe in God. I myself am not a particularly religious person. I am highly spiritual and I live a good life, I try to be as honest as kind, and good as I can. I believe in God and angels, and I'm aware that the times in my life where I thought my life sucked, were nothing more than tests.

 

I have done the whole "ask and you shall receive" on plenty of occasion, and on each occasion I've been answered within days. So I know He is always there caring for his children. But again, He only helps those who help themselves. Take the steps necessary and you will reap rewards.

[nessaaa]

Wheres your rebound?

[KatZee]

It's SO liberating when you realize that you're perfectly content with your life as-is, take or leave the BF.

 

I visited my girlfriends out in the 'burbs over the weekend. It was chatter about paint color, the baby-wipe heater, crusted nipples and annoying in-laws.

 

While I am happy for them, I couldn't wait to meet up with my other single friends at our favorite watering hole later and watch basketball and drink beer, knowing I could sleep in the next day and catch brunch.

 

Oh man. These 11 months that I've been single have virtually been the only months in my entire lifetime I've ever been really and truly single. I agree it is EXTREMELY liberating to know you're so happy with your life without someone else in it.

 

No obligations to anyone else, freedom to do what you want when you want. Each day I live for myself. I go out and see my friends all the time. I feel so sorry for my boss who never gets more than 30 minutes of sleep with her child. She's always exhausted and looking so beat up. Meanwhile I'm going out and partying my face off, doing brunches, finding my passions. I've signed up for three obstacle races this year, I go to music festivals, and I'm just having a BLAST.

 

The last thing I want right now is a person I'm going to be stuck with for life. Eugh! Gives me the chills! hahahaha

[Radu]

I'm glad I'm not the only female here who's going, "YES!! I'm single and have no kids! I'm gonna run around the house naked!"

 

And i'm probably not the only guy who is thinking 'wish i was a fly on her wall'.

[Radu]

BTB, i really liked your posts.

 

I just have a few questions :

- is your metalhead still a metalhead ?

- did your metalhead get to watch Dio in concert ?

- did he pray for Dio ?

 

PS: I was very sad to hear he passed away.

[candie13]

news from your guy, IB?

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

news from your guy, IB?

 

He texted me yesterday and apologized for not responding he said he is trying to figure it all out. So idk what that means but we will see if he texts me today.

[noble]

Reading your whiny posts really irritate me.

First off, you NEED therapy. You seem extremely anxious and co-dependent. You also seem slightly delusional about life and relationships. I'm guessing this is the first boyfriend you've ever really had, since you keep going on and on about how perfect he is. From your posts and the way you sound, I would judge you as maybe 13 or 14 years old, but I think you're older right? So ask yourself this.. why do you come across as so immature? Maybe there are things in your own life you need to focus on fixing, and then maybe you'll be more attractive to a potential partner?

Also, you keep going on and on about how if you believe in God he's supposed to give you good things. I think you mean a boyfriend, not "good things". And you say he's taken this "good thing" brutually away(aka your boyfriend might dump you) and wah wah wah how unfair that god is so cruel to you.

But seriously, shut up.

There are women RIGHT NOW all over the world being raped, and beaten, and killed. There are people and children starving. There is murder and torture, and true misery and crimes again humanity. People with no food and no clean water to drink. People with horrible diseases who don't have long to live. People who have lost children or loved ones to disease and war.

So seriously, stop blaming God for not having a boyfriend and start thanking him for the fact that you have a home, food, clean water, safety, a family that loves you, your health, ect ect ect.

I don't even believe in God, but man if he does exist I'm sure he would be mighty annoyed with your selfish expectations.

You need to stop worrying about this boy and start growing up and focusing on getting in touch with Earth and reality.

[Drseussgrrl]

He texted me yesterday and apologized for not responding he said he is trying to figure it all out. So idk what that means but we will see if he texts me today.

 

Girl - he is fading out on you.

 

I'm sorry to say I told you so - but well, WE TOLD YOU SO.

 

I have no doubt that your clinginess and neediness drove this guy off and he's using "work" as an excuse to not see you.

 

This will continue to happen to you over and over again if you can't get a grip. This has nothing to do with God. You can't go about life moping and moaning and acting jealous, insecure and needy and expect the perfect man to just drop into your lap like God is some sort of magician.

 

Hell if it was that easy there would be no need for LoveShack.

 

I have yet to hear you take any responsibility for your own life.

[SmileFace]

At least grow some balls and just call him up and see what the hell is up and end it.

 

Waiting around for him to text you?

NO thanks

[MidwestUSA]

I highly recommend Crazy Love: Dealing with Your Partner's Problem Personality, by W. Brad Johnson and Kelly Murray. You're not dealing with a problematic partner, but it can help you peg the problems within yourself. Catch the chapter on dependent personality as well as histrionic. Amazon has it.

[candie13]

As far as this guy is concerned, no, do not call him. Do not make the police either, as you've already done enough nagging for now. Time and space, very important. No more nagging. No more asking anything. Let him figure things out or leave, if so he pleases.

 

Take these guys' advice and do some soul searching. Get a life. Grow up. You seem to be scared to. You are 21. 21 for crying out loud and you're already freaking out about babies and family - totally crazy.

 

If you ask me, it's not that. You are scared because you are about to graduate and will need to start looking for a job. That is a grown up thing. You, making your place in the big bad world. Normal to feel scared. And you're projecting that on men. It's not them. It's you and your own fears.

 

You'll be fine, it'll all pass and it'll all turn out alright - just be patient. And don't start hitting the cookie jar either, ok ?

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

As far as this guy is concerned, no, do not call him. Do not make the police either, as you've already done enough nagging for now. Time and space, very important. No more nagging. No more asking anything. Let him figure things out or leave, if so he pleases.

 

Take these guys' advice and do some soul searching. Get a life. Grow up. You seem to be scared to. You are 21. 21 for crying out loud and you're already freaking out about babies and family - totally crazy.

 

If you ask me, it's not that. You are scared because you are about to graduate and will need to start looking for a job. That is a grown up thing. You, making your place in the big bad world. Normal to feel scared. And you're projecting that on men. It's not them. It's you and your own fears.

 

You'll be fine, it'll all pass and it'll all turn out alright - just be patient. And don't start hitting the cookie jar either, ok ?

 

I'm 22 lol but yeah I get it, I'm not going to contact him, I do think if he is going to end it he will like say that though. I don't know I guess we'll see, I just want to fast forward and be past this situation lol.

[dreamingoftigers]

I'm 22 lol but yeah I get it, I'm not going to contact him, I do think if he is going to end it he will like say that though. I don't know I guess we'll see, I just want to fast forward and be past this situation lol.

 

Oh thank goodness. I thought I read somewhere that you were 28.

 

That would be quite scary.

 

Look into Boundaries (There's a great book by Cloud and Townshend) and what healthy relationships look like.

 

Also look into Healthy Coping Skills

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Well YOU can be past it whenever YOU want to be past it. YOU can end it yourself right now (either by telling him, or by just decided so in your head on your own), and move on. Why are you waiting on him to painfully reveal and draw out the inevitable end. Just end it yourself. Voila its over and no more waiting.

 

Take action and responsibility for your life and emotions.

 

Also, its like you ignore everything anyone posts that doesnt have directly to do with "idk is he gonna text me back?"

 

I did read all of the posts I just didn't have much to say. I responded to that one because the age thing mostly. I am definitely reading all of them and taking it in.

[ltjg45]

Maybe I'm being paranoid but I can't shake off that feeling that I can understand why she felt such a need to find a boyfriend/husband so quickly.

 

I also think that she has that old-school thinking where once a male that has interest in her has cemented in the relationship, she is not going to let him go, regardless of his flaws. She has the determination of a good, loyal wife and possible good mother because she isn't going to abandon her family. It means everything to her.

 

This has benefits, of course, provided that the male in question is really in it for the long run and I'm sure those benefits is exactly what the OP wants.

 

Of course, asking for him to be there 24/7 is an issue as that is completely impossible. He have to work, he have to piss, he have to eat, he have to sleep, he have to pay bills, etc etc. You get the idea.

 

She just need to be less clingy, if that makes any sense. Just find a hobby or two, finish up with college, and go after any males she is physically attracted to.