My life is over.. I think I am getting dumped.

[ThatJustHappened]

If you're talking about having "received" this guy - you had your first date with him around 2/17. You haven't seen him for 3 weeks. If I can count, that means that you did see him over the span of about 2 weeks, right?

 

That is barely getting started dating, IB. It's not a boyfriend / girlfriend thing. You've gone overboard.

 

Regarding The Lord. You are taking "ask and you shall receive" very literally and wrongly. Praying to your deity is not supposed to be like ordering at Burger King.

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

I just spat water on my keyboard. MmeC, you owe me a new laptop!

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

If you're talking about having "received" this guy - you had your first date with him around 2/17. You haven't seen him for 3 weeks. If I can count, that means that you did see him over the span of about 2 weeks, right?

 

That is barely getting started dating, IB. It's not a boyfriend / girlfriend thing. You've gone overboard.

 

Regarding The Lord. You are taking "ask and you shall receive" very literally and wrongly. Praying to your deity is not supposed to be like ordering at Burger King.

 

He asked me to be his gf, he said he wanted to do it in person and make it FBO then we never really hung out because his job started shortly after that. Anyways idk I mean I thought if you were good and believed in God and went to church and did all that good stuff you were supposed to receive good things. I haven't gotten the good things

[Mme. Chaucer]

He asked me to be his gf, he said he wanted to do it in person and make it FBO then we never really hung out because his job started shortly after that.

 

So … after he asked you to be his girlfriend (but not face to face) you never saw him again?

 

Anyways idk I mean I thought if you were good and believed in God and went to church and did all that good stuff you were supposed to receive good things.

 

Wow. Seriously, spirituality is not supposed to be a "give to get" deal. What kind of church are you going to>

 

I haven't gotten the good things

Really? You seem to have great parents, a stable home, all your needs taken care of by other people than yourself, you have an education, I think you are not living in poverty … sounds like plenty of good things to me.

 

Not getting what you want RIGHT THIS MINUTE equals not getting good things? Do you realize that this is essentially an early childhood state of mind?

[Radu]

He asked me to be his gf, he said he wanted to do it in person and make it FBO then we never really hung out because his job started shortly after that.

Ughhhh, i hope that's not FaceBook Official.

Who cares what the smucks on FB want/know/care.

It's virtual reality and the laws that govern it do not have that much importance in the real world.

 

Anyways idk I mean I thought if you were good and believed in God and went to church and did all that good stuff you were supposed to receive good things.

So does believing in Joe Pesci, the Sun, the Moon, etc ...

Statistically speaking you have a chance of getting what you want by sitting on your duff.

But getting out there, increases your chances.

And if we all got what we wanted, i wouldn't be an atheist now, and christians would probably all be billionaires.

 

I haven't gotten the good things

I used to think that like that.

You live in the US.

That means you are one of the 5% by right of birth.

The 5% who don't have to fear getting killed by warlords, famine, rampant diseases, malnutrition, and as a western woman, likely that she won't get her clit and labias cut, married at 13, slave away for half a dozen kids, get replaced by a younger wife, deal with an agressive husband who society does not punish because he beats you up ... need i go on ?

By default you are one of the lucky ones, just 1 out of 20 women is born in the US.

Count your blessings.

[dreamingoftigers]

Ughhhh, i hope that's not FaceBook Official.

Who cares what the smucks on FB want/know/care.

It's virtual reality and the laws that govern it do not have that much importance in the real world.

 

 

So does believing in Joe Pesci, the Sun, the Moon, etc ...

Statistically speaking you have a chance of getting what you want by sitting on your duff.

But getting out there, increases your chances.

And if we all got what we wanted, i wouldn't be an atheist now, and christians would probably all be billionaires.

 

 

I used to think that like that.

You live in the US.

That means you are one of the 5% by right of birth.

The 5% who don't have to fear getting killed by warlords, famine, rampant diseases, malnutrition, and as a western woman, likely that she won't get her clit and labias cut, married at 13, slave away for half a dozen kids, get replaced by a younger wife, deal with an agressive husband who society does not punish because he beats you up ... need i go on ?

By default you are one of the lucky ones, just 1 out of 20 women is born in the US.

Count your blessings.

 

Ugh. One of my very best friends is a Somali. She became a refugee in Kenya right at the height of the Somali civil war. She is the youngest of eight. She went through the US and got citizenship in Canada.

 

All of her sisters have been cut down there. She says that the civil war saved her from that fate.

 

Truly sickening and worse than that. The women's remaining "entry" is stitched together. The girl grows up like that. If she gets an infection etc. she is deemed unfit for marriage. (very bad). The husband is supposed to break the stitches open on their wedding night.

 

There are some truly horrific stories, like about a man who raped a girl and then she was forced to marry him because of it. But he also traveled around because of his status. So when he would leave, they would sew her up again, and when he would return they would break the stitches.

 

ImperfectionisBeauty..... count your blessings.

[Radu]

Stitching it is i think Stage 4 in the genital mutilation they call circumcision.

They also break the stiches when they give birth.

The narrow opening is for pee and menstrual blood to pass.

 

Stage I a, is removing the skin that keeps the clit moist, basically the female version of male circumcision.

After that it gets much much nastier [your description is very accurate].

 

In some countries OP, if you are unmarried by the time you are 28 you will not get married.

In some of those culture, you don't even have the option of marrying outside your race/religion, since that's a far worse sin [south Koreea].

In some cultures you as a female can be accused of witchcraft, and get beheaded by a yatagan type sword in a public intersection [saudi Arabia, US ally].

In some countries you will grow up to have lots of kids to see your male kids all killed by 'liberators'. Fun places like the border area in Pakistan next to Afghanistan, or the Palestine, Irak, Afghanistan, etc ...

[ChessPieceFace]

How about going to therapy and figuring out why your entire life implodes without a man in it.

 

But as far as someone working so much that they literally have no time for a SO, I just don't understand that situation. There's 168 hours in a week. Even if you spent 1/3 of them sleeping that's 112 hours remaining. Are they working 100 hours a week? Time to find a new job. Life is more than work. What about sleeping over his place a couple nights a week? Sleep time sounds like a nice together time even if someone is working constantly. Doesn't add up.

Edited April 8, 2013 by ChessPieceFace

[Els]

Honest to god, IB, whenever I read your posts about relationships I get reminded of Jessica Wakefield from Sweet Valley High. Have you ever considered a career in drama?

[Els]

 

 

I used to think that like that.

You live in the US.

That means you are one of the 5% by right of birth.

The 5% who don't have to fear getting killed by warlords, famine, rampant diseases, malnutrition, and as a western woman, likely that she won't get her clit and labias cut, married at 13, slave away for half a dozen kids, get replaced by a younger wife, deal with an agressive husband who society does not punish because he beats you up ... need i go on ?

By default you are one of the lucky ones, just 1 out of 20 women is born in the US.

Count your blessings.

 

 

To be fair, the US isn't the only place where human rights and women's rights are respected. But yes, one of the few.

 

IMO field trips to rural Asian/African communities should be compulsory for all kids born in 1st world countries. That would solve a lot of entitlement issues.

[ChessPieceFace]

IMO field trips to rural Asian/African communities should be compulsory for all kids born in 1st world countries. That would solve a lot of entitlement issues.

 

Or just taking a break from garbage entertainment, going on to youtube and watching some videos of the same. How about some videos about North Korea, that's topical nowadays. Where people are imprisoned just because "they didn't weep sufficiently at the great leader's death"; where women are raped to death in prison camps.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Ah I remember the days when dating section was filled with my own dating drama threads...

 

I am glad the young ones are taking over now

[Els]

Or just taking a break from garbage entertainment, going on to youtube and watching some videos of the same. How about some videos about North Korea, that's topical nowadays. Where people are imprisoned just because "they didn't weep sufficiently at the great leader's death"; where women are raped to death in prison camps.

 

Videos can't compare to real life exposure.

 

The first time anyone ever visits a rural 3rd world hospital, or the accommodations of sweatshop workers, will most definitely be etched in their memory.

[Treasa]

Without getting too much back into the religious realm, IB, you must also believe that God gave people free will, right? That means **** happens. This guy can dump you, and you can also choose to not let it affect your life in the way that it is.

 

Minus the wanting to get married and have babies thing, you REALLY remind me of myself in my very early 20s. I had a boyfriend who was the center of my universe, and not only should no guy ever take on that burden, but this guy was an *******. And I dated him a lot longer than you've been dating this guy.

 

I think you're very disillusioned about marriage and children. They aren't your fairy tale happy ending. I'm not saying they aren't great provided you're with the right person and you're in a good place yourself, but from what I've seen....they are ridiculously hard and probably not what you are expecting them to be.

 

I think it's good that you're pushing guys away with your behavior. Hopefully in their absence you'll mature emotionally.

[ChessPieceFace]

Videos can't compare to real life exposure.

 

True but they're:

 

- more than most of the pathetic people in this world even bother doing to get themselves informed about anything that matters, and

- certainly enough for me to learn about and care about issues of consequence.

 

And I don't know whether the OP is entitled, but she's definitely in dire need of some perspective.

[AlexDP]

 

Minus the wanting to get married and have babies thing, you REALLY remind me of myself in my very early 20s. .

 

Really? She reminds me of prepubescent girls. Not women in their early twenties.

[stillafool]

It's kind of hard to trust in The Lord when he hasn't like some a lot to show me that I should trust him. Every good thing he brings into my life he takes away so... Anyways I definitely want to try to have a better life, I want to do anything I have to so I can meet someone and get married and have babies so if that means making more friends, getting a job, etc. I will do anything. As far as my life and world... Idk I mean I don't think in depth about what people go through the guy I was/am talking to told me a really sad story about his life and I did think about him and his life but for the most part I don't think of each day to day for other people just me.

 

 

Not everything that is brought into your life is from the Lord. Maybe your relationship with your bf is your doing and not the Lords.

[Treasa]

Really? She reminds me of prepubescent girls. Not women in their early twenties.

 

You'd be surprised at how many insecure women in their early 20s (and older) there are out there.

 

I look back on those times fondly, because they made me into who I am now.

[BetheButterfly]

It's kind of hard to trust in The Lord when he hasn't like some a lot to show me that I should trust him.

 

God isn't a genie. Many times when people ask for something, He says No or Wait.

 

My husband and I met in our 30s. Sure I wish we had met earlier in life, but earlier in life I didn't know him. He was a metalhead and didn't have any plans but travel the world on yachts/casino ships, bartend, work out, play the guitar, go to rock concerts, drink, and have sex. He was most definitely not planning on getting married and having kids someday lol. It wasn't until he almost died after falling from a mountain with drugs in his system that he came to God and decided to change how he was living, and that didn't happen overnight. I made my share of mistakes too... we obviously weren't ready for each other till this time in our lives, you know?

 

About God, He doesn't always answer yes. When Jesus asked that the cup (what he was going to do for us) be taken from him, he also said "not my will, but Your will be done." Whether one says that or not, ultimately God decides.

 

The early followers of Jesus and some Christians around the world even today endure(d) horrible persecution, including death. While I'm sure they prayed for God to rescue them, in many cases, He didn't. He allowed them to die. Followers of Jesus don't follow Jesus to be rich or have whatever they want in life; Jesus himself wasn't a rich dude who owned palaces and did whatever he wanted. Rather, he obeyed his Father in Heaven, even when it was painful.

 

but we Every good thing he brings into my life he takes away so...

That reminds me of Job:

 

Job 1 NIV - Prologue - In the land of Uz there - Bible Gateway

20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

and naked I will depart.[c]

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;

may the name of the Lord be praised.”

 

22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

 

Anyways I definitely want to try to have a better life, I want to do anything I have to so I can meet someone and get married and have babies so if that means making more friends, getting a job, etc. I will do anything. As far as my life and world... Idk I mean I don't think in depth about what people go through the guy I was/am talking to told me a really sad story about his life and I did think about him and his life but for the most part I don't think of each day to day for other people just me.

I understand, and I have been where you are now. I remember this gut wrenching pain of when boyfriends broke up with me, and it hurts so bad. I'm sorry you're going through that, but please don't give up on life! Many people go through heartache. I think it's important right now for you to concentrate on your studies and on doing things you like to do, not on worrying about guys. I know that's easier said then done. Music helped me, when I was hurting from heartache.

 

Art helps other people, and sports help too. Working out helps too! Please get involved in activities that can help take your mind off guys and put your mind on positive and fun aspects of life! That actually attracts guys!

 

Also, it'd be awesome if when you have time, to get involved in helping other people in a charity. There are many people who need help, and helping people helps oneself too!

 

Hugs and you can get through this!!!

[BetheButterfly]

Without getting too much back into the religious realm, IB, you must also believe that God gave people free will, right? That means **** happens. This guy can dump you, and you can also choose to not let it affect your life in the way that it is.

 

Yep!

 

Minus the wanting to get married and have babies thing, you REALLY remind me of myself in my very early 20s. I had a boyfriend who was the center of my universe, and not only should no guy ever take on that burden, but this guy was an *******. And I dated him a lot longer than you've been dating this guy.

 

Yeah, the emotional pain she is feeling reminds me of what I went through when I was younger.

 

I think you're very disillusioned about marriage and children. They aren't your fairy tale happy ending. I'm not saying they aren't great provided you're with the right person and you're in a good place yourself, but from what I've seen....they are ridiculously hard and probably not what you are expecting them to be.

 

Even though my husband and I have not been married very long, I don't think our marriage is ridiculously hard. This is my second and hopefully last marriage, and is million times easier and more fun and with more Love than my first marriage! (I did learn a lot from my first marriage though, and I wish my ex-husband the best!)

I think it's good that you're pushing guys away with your behavior. Hopefully in their absence you'll mature emotionally.

 

Maturing is a journey. It's a tough lesson to learn.

[BetheButterfly]

I finished my class work I did 2 papers and I have 2 tomorrow morning to do and a few chapters to read.

 

I'm proud of you! Keep working hard on your school! It's important!!!

 

I know I can't function when I'm sad lol

 

I'm sorry You can learn though, you can learn how to put your sad thoughts aside and focus on learning and focus on positive things. The more you practice enjoying life and focusing on positive actions/thoughts, the easier it gets!!!

[Drseussgrrl]

IB,

 

My sister-in-law married my brother when she was 19 years old. They were an insanely happy, gorgeous couple and everyone thought they were perfect together. Being around them made you hope upon hope to find something like what they had. No mistrust, no games, no arguments. Just joy.

 

Well, my brother walked out on her two weeks ago and for the very first time she is experiencing heartbreak. She had never really dated anyone before my brother - he was her first in every way. They were married for nearly 9 years, and for the first time in her adult life she is having to think about life as a single woman at the age of 27 (how I feel about this is a completely different thread).

 

When I read your posts it is very frustrating because I feel like you think you're entitled to just meet some dude and have him knock you up and you'll live happily ever after from the age of 22 onward. Life rarely works this way. There are absolutely no guarantees in life and love. The only person you have at the end of the day, is yourself. No man is going to fill the void that exists in your heart, as you're coming to find out. I mean come on - 2 months in and you're going to "die die die"? My sister-in-law is losing her HUSBAND and life as she knows it and she isn't even saying crap like this.

 

Life rarely works the way we think it should and if I spent all my time being depressed that I'm in my 30's, unmarried and without kids it would surely be a waste - as surely you are doing.

[Els]

IB,

 

My sister-in-law married my brother when she was 19 years old. They were an insanely happy, gorgeous couple and everyone thought they were perfect together. Being around them made you hope upon hope to find something like what they had. No mistrust, no games, no arguments. Just joy.

 

Well, my brother walked out on her two weeks ago and for the very first time she is experiencing heartbreak. She had never really dated anyone before my brother - he was her first in every way. They were married for nearly 9 years, and for the first time in her adult life she is having to think about life as a single woman at the age of 27 (how I feel about this is a completely different thread).

 

When I read your posts it is very frustrating because I feel like you think you're entitled to just meet some dude and have him knock you up and you'll live happily ever after from the age of 22 onward. Life rarely works this way. There are absolutely no guarantees in life and love. The only person you have at the end of the day, is yourself. No man is going to fill the void that exists in your heart, as you're coming to find out. I mean come on - 2 months in and you're going to "die die die"? My sister-in-law is losing her HUSBAND and life as she knows it and she isn't even saying crap like this.

 

Life rarely works the way we think it should and if I spent all my time being depressed that I'm in my 30's, unmarried and without kids it would surely be a waste - as surely you are doing.

 

So true.

 

Honestly, I think many people make the mistake of viewing marriage as the end goal of a relationship. But a lifelong, happy marriage is never a guarantee. People would have a higher chance of achieving such an aspiration if they focused more on living life themselves and making themselves the best they can be, and in focusing on the compatibility and suitability of their partner rather than on just marriage with anyone who is willing. Marriage isn't the last 'happily ever after' phrase in the book the way you see in fairytales.

[MidwestUSA]

People have mentioned anxiety, but no one has brought up histrionic personality disorder. I suggest you and a therapist explore it. Constant need for attention and affirmation. Sleeping with random guys even though it's "gross". Undue emphasis on the importance of sex. The dramatics, the clinginess. Histrionics are every bit as impossible to live with as BPDs. Get a handle on it sooner rather than later.

[Treasa]

I'm glad I'm not the only female here who's going, "YES!! I'm single and have no kids! I'm gonna run around the house naked!"

[Drseussgrrl]

I'm glad I'm not the only female here who's going, "YES!! I'm single and have no kids! I'm gonna run around the house naked!"

 

This morning I was letting my dog out before work, and a woman in my building had a toddler in tow and was also lugging a carseat with an infant in it. She was trying to also juggle her coffee, diaper bag, and purse.

 

The toddler was giving her a hard time about going down the stairs, complaining about his outfit, and I could see the stress on her face about just trying to get her brood loaded into the car and heaven forbid she didn't make it to work on time. LOL In that moment I pictured my leisurely morning where I can read the paper and iron my pants... while she is probably dealing with throw-up, bottles, temper tantrums, and on top of all that she is probably running on 4 hours of sleep.

 

And here I stress out when my golden takes too long to take a dump!