Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 *beats head against wall in despair.* please don't say sh*t like that. it hurts feminisms and common senses ears. this is a lost cause. You sound more like a sixteen year old girl then a women my age. Its obvious why you cant get a decent relationship but you refuse to listen to sensible advice. who would want to be with someone who would rather "have a boyfriend" then go to school and get a decent education? nobody, ok. Nobody wants that. Not even an insane person would want that. I mean I want an education, I have gotten an education and for the most part it has come pretty easy, like minimal effort and I get good grades... I'm graduating with honors (that was a shock to me). I wish that school would have not came as easy but being in a relationship would have. I just wish I could have it all like my friend haha Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 ....and the one before...... I thought the last one was the first? But ya I really don't understand it, if it was her first love i'd be more understanding but its not. How can you meet a new guy and in what 4 weeks become this attached..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 ....and the one before...... I know my mom said the same thing, she was like "Seriously Gabby he isn't the only guy in the world, you thought you would never get over Kyle and you did so I'm sure you can get over this one too" but literally it took me forever and a day to get over Kyle, I fully stopped caring about Kyle when I met this guy. The one good thing I guess is that he and I didn't have sex so it's not like I can imagine the sex because we didn't have it. I will miss the cuddling and kissing... I hate that I don't have anyone to do that with. If nothing else I just need to find someone to kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 From the way you express yourself on here, one of the problems you may be encountering in holding a relationship down is that the guy eventually gets tired of your needy immaturity. And sadly, that's how you have come across in this thread - and others. As needy, desperate, immature and completely inexperienced and totally unprepared for Reality. No guy wants to go out with an apparently well-educated 20-year-old - only to discover she behaves more like a pre-pubescent teenager. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 From the way you express yourself on here, one of the problems you may be encountering in holding a relationship down is that the guy eventually gets tired of your needy immaturity. And sadly, that's how you have come across in this thread - and others. As needy, desperate, immature and completely inexperienced and totally unprepared for Reality. No guy wants to go out with an apparently well-educated 20-year-old - only to discover she behaves more like a pre-pubescent teenager. What do I do? I am going to start therapy and idk thats it. I am so fed up with my life it is horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
zanzi Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I know my mom said the same thing, she was like "Seriously Gabby he isn't the only guy in the world, you thought you would never get over Kyle and you did so I'm sure you can get over this one too" but literally it took me forever and a day to get over Kyle, I fully stopped caring about Kyle when I met this guy. The one good thing I guess is that he and I didn't have sex so it's not like I can imagine the sex because we didn't have it. I will miss the cuddling and kissing... I hate that I don't have anyone to do that with. If nothing else I just need to find someone to kiss. you are in your twenties ok. Not to be crude but there are what a billion guys out there. You are going to have many, many relationships after this one, better ones, happier ones, worse ones, more mature ones, long ones and short ones. Eons of them. This guy is a tiny blip on your life's radar. You are wasting your life worrying about him. Right now I think you need to address your own problems. You need to ask yourself why you think you need another person to define your life. Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I don't know. I don't want the bad stuff, I honestly just want to meet someone and date and get married and have beautiful little babies. I want to not be lonely and sad all the time. I was so happy when this relationship started, like the most happy I have ever been and now I'm not happy because more than likely it is ending. What if you got married tomorrow and your husband left you? Just rolled over one morning, told you he was no longer in love and was leaving? What if he met someone else and left you for her? God forbid, what if he died and left you a widow? Sh*t happens. LIFE happens. You seem to think that getting married is a 100% guarantee that you will be happy / locked into a forever sort of relationship, and that's just not the case. You can't force anyone to be with you or stay with you. You have to be okay enough with YOU that you can move forward in life on your own, if push comes to shove. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 What if you got married tomorrow and your husband left you? Just rolled over one morning, told you he was no longer in love and was leaving? What if he met someone else and left you for her? God forbid, what if he died and left you a widow? Sh*t happens. LIFE happens. You seem to think that getting married is a 100% guarantee that you will be happy / locked into a forever sort of relationship, and that's just not the case. You can't force anyone to be with you or stay with you. You have to be okay enough with YOU that you can move forward in life on your own, if push comes to shove. I never really thought of that, my parents are still married so I just hoped I would model my marriage after theirs and be like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 You need to begin to view things in a more mature way - and to be honest, I'm not sure how you do that. you need to appreciate that a good relationship is founded on more than looking super-cute, and kisses and cuddles. You stated, for example that you took, like, forever to get over your last guy - when that was patently completely untrue. You snapped right out of him the moment you met this guy, so 'like, forever' is just juvenile talk. you need to understand that having children is hard, thankless and extremely difficult. You cannot wrap them in cotton wool, and the influences that surround them are hard to beat off, if they're negative. It's not something to be romanticised, idealised or blown up into rosy sugar and spice experience, because it's not. There are no guarantees. And Charles Manson's mother loved him, and Mother Teresa's mother loved her. So no matter what your background, social standing or parental influence, they'll turn out the way they want to. You have to get it through your head that there isn't a single solitary thing on this planet that lasts 'for ever'. Your previous relationship ended, this one might too. There will be another. You apportion judgement and blame on those who in actual fact may deserve some empathy. Your outlook on things is really a little too 'black-and-white on some matters. You just have to address things you are desperately naive and immature about, and understand that some of your ideas are 'ivory tower' ones. Start with thinking about the above. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 (and the OP has specified that their father needs to be white, because her babies must be mixed in order to be beautiful enough) Thank you. I didn't want to drag all of her other issues into this thread, but I agree 100%. Someone with those sorts of issues has no business being someone's parent. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I never really thought of that, my parents are still married so I just hoped I would model my marriage after theirs and be like that. why would you be so special? Everybody struggles so hard to find their match, why would you just stumble upon your perfect SO at 22 and get married immediately? Sorry, in real life, you need to work really really hard for your happy ending, and guess what, the happy ending is never guaranteed! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I never really thought of that, my parents are still married so I just hoped I would model my marriage after theirs and be like that. I think we all hope that. I hope that for myself, and I hope it for you. But the reality is that nothing is guaranteed. Sure, marriage makes it more difficult to "break up," but people do it every day. I don't say this to discount marriage b/c it is something I want -- but I think you do yourself a grave disservice by assuming that being married means that you can shackle someone to you for life / assure that they will never leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 why would you be so special? Everybody struggles so hard to find their match, why would you just stumble upon your perfect SO at 22 and get married immediately? Sorry, in real life, you need to work really really hard for your happy ending, and guess what, the happy ending is never guaranteed! My friend didn't have to work hard at all, she is 22 also. Literally we went to school with the guy she is with now and he was with her for like a month in 8th grade then they went back and forth until college he took her virginity dumped her, met a new girl, dated her then he messaged my friend at Christmas and said "I want to be with you, no one else compares to you blah blah" now they are the most perfect couple and he is going to marry her, her best friend is also marrying a guy she has been with since 8th grade, guess who I'm with..? Oh wait.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 I know I shouldn't compare myself to her but honestly the issues I am having at this moment, I can't imagine facing her tomorrow while she is all talking about her bf and **** I literally am not even going to class I don't think. Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I'm starting to think the op just needs to learn the, erm, wonders of her own body. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I know I shouldn't compare myself to her but honestly the issues I am having at this moment, I can't imagine facing her tomorrow while she is all talking about her bf and **** I literally am not even going to class I don't think. You're going to skip class because your friend has a bf? Really? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 I'm starting to think the op just needs to learn the, erm, wonders of her own body. That isn't good enough, I do that lol I want someone to like kiss me and touch me and cuddle me after and be cute with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 You're going to skip class because your friend has a bf? Really? I might skip because I just can't handle dealing with her tomorrow. Maybe this will all be figured out by Thursday and I will be able to handle life but tomorrow I just can't. It sucks though I have 2 papers due and idk if my teacher will take them via email. Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 ...but literally it took me forever and a day to get over Kyle, I fully stopped caring about Kyle when I met this guy. You mean forever and a dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 I started a text to him but I let my little brother read it and he was like "don't send that it sounds like you're begging" I was but I wasn't like I was asking him stuff... I didn't send it but idk I mean I want to know what's up. If he is ending it he could at least legitimately end it. The fade out is such a bitch move. Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 If I were him I'd be scared to talk to you again. You are acting erratic. He's probably wondering what's going on; that he doesn't even know this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) If I were him I'd be scared to talk to you again. You are acting erratic. He's probably wondering what's going on; that he doesn't even know this girl. He does know me though, he spilled his guts to me, I didn't spill mine to him. Next time swear to god I am just going to keep my mouth shut, I don't care what kind of problems I am having with a guy I am just going to be like whatever and deal with it silently because I'm not dealing with this again. Edited April 9, 2013 by ImperfectionisBeauty Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 :laugh::laugh:He does know me though, he spilled his guts to me, I didn't spill mine to him. Next time swear to god I am just going to keep my mouth shut, I don't care what kind of problems I am having with a guy I am just going to be like whatever and deal with it silently because I'm not dealing with this again. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 He does know me though, he spilled his guts to me, I didn't spill mine to him. Next time swear to god I am just going to keep my mouth shut, I don't care what kind of problems I am having with a guy I am just going to be like whatever and deal with it silently because I'm not dealing with this again. No. Next time, don't throw yourself head first into the relationship. Take your time getting to know each other. Learn to build real intimacy. Slowly. And pay attention to compatibility. Also, give yourself the right to walk away if the man doesn't provide what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Like I thought you were being facetious saying you might not find another guy by the time you were 30, but it seems you are dead set on self fulfilling prophecies. A single page of this thread is so steeped in needy baby talk and unbalanced hormones that I grew a pair of testicles only to have them shrivel in fear. To imagine there is a saga of "Kyle"... Your posting history must be like an open letter to abstinence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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