Girlfriend died a few months ago and now her parents are trying to take my son...

[Pasco08]

Fly out Friday and i need some tips on how to keep my son entertained on the flight and quite if that is even possible.

[TG1]

You are the boy's daddy, the court will be very reluctant to take custody from you. Not knowing their motive but guessing they are overdone with grief and fear, they grasp at straws. Perhaps they believe you will remarry and move away. Who knows. Try to remain confident.

 

As long as you are committed to being daddy, it's the best for your boy.

Every party struggles in situations such as this, life will improve.

 

My guess is they want to secure some definite visitation.

 

Hate to bring up cash but often in these tragic deaths of a young mother, is there any motivation on their part due to money? How wealthy they are may intimidate you but the law accepts you as a young father.

 

Again, my sympathy, it's got to be such a great feeling to hug that baby boy.

 

Vent here. Many nice folks to offer knowledge and support.

 

 

I think what they are doing is not right, he is your son and you should have every right to be raising him and why because you are his father but at the same time look at it from their perspective though, they lost their daughter and they feel that your son is the only last living remaining link that they have to their deceased daughter that being your late girlfriend and they just want their grandson around to cope with that loss, so I can sympathize with them too but at the same time I sympathize more with you than I do with them because you lost her too and your son is the only thing you have left of her

[whichwayisup]

Fly out Friday and i need some tips on how to keep my son entertained on the flight and quite if that is even possible.

 

Books, colour book with markers, cards (go fish is a fun game!), ipod.. Also there are in flight movies, I'm sure there will be choices to watch with kids movies. Give him gravol, just in case he doesn't feel well on the flight, ask the Dr if it's okay to use the drowsy kind, this way he'll feel sleepy too.

 

How old is your son? Sorry, I've forgotten.

[CarrieT]

Fly out Friday and i need some tips on how to keep my son entertained on the flight and quite if that is even possible.

The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) does not require children younger than 2 years of age to have an airline ticket if they are held on an adult's lap, However, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that each child to have his or her own seat.

 

Some car safety seats are FAA-approved to be used on planes. Check on this when you buy your car safety seat. Let the airline know ahead of time if you are bringing a car safety seat.

 

Give yourself plenty of time to get to the airport and go through security.

 

If only you and your baby are traveling, get a portable stroller. You can generally fold it up and take it on board with you.

 

Your baby's ears may plug up or hurt during takeoff or landing due to the change in cabin air pressure. You can help keep your baby's ears clear by nursing or feeding when the plane is climbing and descending. Swallowing helps equalize the air pressure.

 

Diapering can be a hassle on the plane. Try to double-diaper or use ultra-absorbent disposable diapers just before you board the plane, and then change in the airport bathroom after the flight arrives.

 

The flight attendants can warm food and bottles for you. Be sure to bring small snacks such as Cheerios or bagels for your baby to nibble on.

 

Pack some toys to keep your child occupied during the flight.

 

Because you have to carry a lot of equipment when you travel with a baby, it is easiest to let other passengers get off the plane before you.

[TG1]

I think what they are doing is not right, he is your son and you should have every right to be raising him and why because you are his father but at the same time look at it from their perspective though, they lost their daughter and they feel that your son is the only last living remaining link that they have to their deceased daughter that being your late girlfriend and they just want their grandson around to cope with that loss, so I can sympathize with them too but at the same time I sympathize more with you than I do with them because you lost her too and your son is the only thing you have left of her

 

 

So yes if they want custody, in a court of law they can easily file for custody but you are the father and you do have rights but they are your son's grandparents, so they also have rights too but generally in a court of law they do tend to favor the parent over the grandparents but sometimes that is not always the case

[whichwayisup]

Hope all went well...Merry Belated Christmas.

 

Do an update when you're back home and online.

[Pasco08]

It went alright I suppose as well as it can go when they force themselves onto you. My son was definitely the center of attraction though and the flights there and home went so well I couldn’t believe it nor could the flight attendants. Also learned not to drink when you are still mourning cause one beer leads to another and another and then well…… A hospital with Alcohol poising =/.

[whichwayisup]

It went alright I suppose as well as it can go when they force themselves onto you. My son was definitely the center of attraction though and the flights there and home went so well I couldn’t believe it nor could the flight attendants. Also learned not to drink when you are still mourning cause one beer leads to another and another and then well…… A hospital with Alcohol poising =/.

 

Glad things went well. Sorry about the hospital visit. Really hope that grandparents don't use that against you..

 

First Christmas's are tough, I am sorry for your loss. It hurts to lose someone you love.

[Radu]

It went alright I suppose as well as it can go when they force themselves onto you. My son was definitely the center of attraction though and the flights there and home went so well I couldn’t believe it nor could the flight attendants. Also learned not to drink when you are still mourning cause one beer leads to another and another and then well…… A hospital with Alcohol poising =/.

 

Glad it went ok overall.

 

Be carefull about the bolded, they could use that in a potential lawsuit.

If you have a lawyer, you might want to share it with him/her.

[ChessPieceFace]

If a father loses custody of his biological kid to the grandparents of the girlfriend, men you might as well just close the book on marriage and family forever

Edited January 4, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[crabbiestcancer]

Maybe someone said this already but if so, I think it needs to be said again:

 

Since your son is technically an extension of your in-law's daughter, they may feel like they have every right to take him from you. Furthermore, your son is the only living, breathing piece of their daughter they have left and because emotions are running high, they may be subconsciously trying to fill an empty void--replace their loss, by possessing their daughter's offspring.

 

They're either not thinking rationally or they think you're a bad father when you haven't even been given a proper chance to prove yourself yet. Either way, they're in the wrong.

 

I'm truly sorry, mate.

[Pasco08]

Glad things went well. Sorry about the hospital visit. Really hope that grandparents don't use that against you..

 

First Christmas's are tough, I am sorry for your loss. It hurts to lose someone you love.

 

Glad it went ok overall.

 

Be carefull about the bolded, they could use that in a potential lawsuit.

If you have a lawyer, you might want to share it with him/her.

 

I really hope they don't but i don't think they know anything about it...... At least i hope not......

[whichwayisup]

I really hope they don't but i don't think they know anything about it...... At least i hope not......

 

Let's hope so too.

 

Take it easy with any drinking..In fact maybe for a little while don't drink at all.

 

Have you gone to do any counseling?

[Pasco08]

No..... And that is/was actually my first time drinking at all.

[crabbiestcancer]

No..... And that is/was actually my first time drinking at all.

 

You're looking for escapism. Don't. Go through the necessary emotions without suppressing them with drugs and/or alcohol.

 

Let's put it this way: If you drop something really heavy on your foot, are you going to wait a year to say "ow, that hurt"? Probably not.

[whichwayisup]

No..... And that is/was actually my first time drinking at all.

 

Well, that was a bad experience, hopefully enough to detour you from drinking period. You've gone that long without it, go again. Turning to booze will only make things worse and it's putting a patch on the pain.

 

Grief counseling could help.

[Pasco08]

I hope so just glad to be home as is my son think he was getting overwhelmed with the family attention.

[Pasco08]

Ever since come home things have felt off i have been thinking about moving to DC and be back close with my family and friends i feel awful alone with just my son here.

[Pasco08]

Inlaws giving me flack for going out with this girl a few times :/

[Radu]

It's expected, they basically haven't gotten over the fact that their daughter is gone [i think you also mentioned she was an only child], which was the reason for the lawsuit and the kidnapping attempt.

They need some time to go through that grief, though personally i think they are doing very poorly and they should ask for profesional help.

 

They see this new girl as a threat to 2 positions :

- the position of wife to you, to them it looks as if you are actively looking for a replacement

- and the position of mother to your son, someone who will influence your ex-wife's legacy [her child ... avatar]

 

Take it slow with that girl.

[Pasco08]

It's expected, they basically haven't gotten over the fact that their daughter is gone [i think you also mentioned she was an only child], which was the reason for the lawsuit and the kidnapping attempt.

They need some time to go through that grief, though personally i think they are doing very poorly and they should ask for profesional help.

 

They see this new girl as a threat to 2 positions :

- the position of wife to you, to them it looks as if you are actively looking for a replacement

- and the position of mother to your son, someone who will influence your ex-wife's legacy [her child ... avatar]

 

Take it slow with that girl.

 

We are taking it very slow. I don't want to give them anymore reason to hound and attack on me and i don't want them to harras this girl either i know they are capable of it.

[whichwayisup]

Inlaws giving me flack for going out with this girl a few times :/

 

It's none of their business who you date. How did they find out?

 

I like the idea of moving back home to be closer to friends and family. Make it clear to your sons grandparents, they are welcome to come visit anytime they'd like. (They have no say in you moving btw)

[Pasco08]

It's none of their business who you date. How did they find out?

 

I like the idea of moving back home to be closer to friends and family. Make it clear to your sons grandparents, they are welcome to come visit anytime they'd like. (They have no say in you moving btw)

 

I haven't a clue how they found out. Maybe they saw us out and about. And i am seriously considering moving back but not sure with this girl and everything.

[Balzac]

Hey Pasco Happy New Year!!

 

Of course you "don't know"! The one guarantee in life is change. It's expected that you feel lonely and isolated. Single parenting is both. Loss of a significant, meaningful relationship is both.

 

The motivation and taking action to date means you're emerging from your paralyzing shock and grief. Taking it slowly I get but could also understand a tremendous desire to have a passionate escape! You must at some level feel the need for intimate touching and conversation. Helz many guys in your situation would plunder through some available carnal pleasure.

 

Contemplation of returning to DC and all that is available to you seems logical.

As I recall you own a business, not sure what moving that or selling it entails. Would you feel that to be an additional loss? DC options should be fully explored. You've got family support there and social context, all of that may be the best situation for you and your son.

 

As to how the grandparents found out, who cares. You're an adult free agent. You really are not accountable to them for anything, period. Their behavior threats of legal action are desperate attempts to cause you expense and misery.

Please do not allow them to intimidate you moving forward with normal adult living.

 

In time I believe you will know what you want to choose about relocation. You've been in survival mode. Now that you're beginning to experience the desire to begin date and make new decisions, it's all positive. Good for you! The best, most capable parent is a happy, satisfied one. You and your little buddy will be okay no matter where you are together. He needs you to move on with doing normal adult things. He needs you to be happy and healthy.

[Pasco08]

Hey Pasco Happy New Year!!

 

Of course you "don't know"! The one guarantee in life is change. It's expected that you feel lonely and isolated. Single parenting is both. Loss of a significant, meaningful relationship is both.

 

The motivation and taking action to date means you're emerging from your paralyzing shock and grief. Taking it slowly I get but could also understand a tremendous desire to have a passionate escape! You must at some level feel the need for intimate touching and conversation. Helz many guys in your situation would plunder through some available carnal pleasure.

 

Contemplation of returning to DC and all that is available to you seems logical.

As I recall you own a business, not sure what moving that or selling it entails. Would you feel that to be an additional loss? DC options should be fully explored. You've got family support there and social context, all of that may be the best situation for you and your son.

 

As to how the grandparents found out, who cares. You're an adult free agent. You really are not accountable to them for anything, period. Their behavior threats of legal action are desperate attempts to cause you expense and misery.

Please do not allow them to intimidate you moving forward with normal adult living.

 

In time I believe you will know what you want to choose about relocation. You've been in survival mode. Now that you're beginning to experience the desire to begin date and make new decisions, it's all positive. Good for you! The best, most capable parent is a happy, satisfied one. You and your little buddy will be okay no matter where you are together. He needs you to move on with doing normal adult things. He needs you to be happy and healthy.

 

It would be hard to move my businesses up and hard to sell them Just really wanting to move back close to family and my friends. And if i wanted that with this girl i could of already had it but i am just wanting to take it slow with her.