Balzac Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Bad idea to mix the purpose of this one holiday. Take life a year at a time, one holiday at a time. Her parents must grieve in their own way and you must protect your baby boy from exploitation. Empathy for their loss does not trump your own needs. My repeated mantra: take care of your own emotional needs such that you can be the best parent you can. It's as simple as the directive in flight to put on your oxygen mask first, then attend to your child. A healthy, happy, secure daddy is a primary need for your baby boy. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 I don't know if i want them with me in DC With all of my family..... That could be a mess of drama..... Okay, what if your parents flew to be with you, stay with you for the holidays and your sons grandparents just come for Christmas? This way, they get to see their grandson, and you see your parents, plus its' in your own house,and your parents will have your back. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Pasco has sibs, neices & nephews, extended family. He is entitled to incorporate reconnecting w friends who reside in DC. Basically Pasco is entitled to an independent adult life with his child. I'm not opposed to grandparent access & visitation. Fact remains that with intact marriages w children, holiday arrangements often become contentious. There is value in a man returning to The Family Homestead with his baby boy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Share Posted November 30, 2012 Just have to get through three more weeks don't know how this is going to go they harassed the gate guard where i live today trying to get through -____- Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Next time they give them the hassel or you, and there's any threat, call 911. Not kidding. Fact is, you don't trust them, rightfully so since they tried to kidnap their own grandchild, take him away from you! It's going to take a long time for that trust to come back and they aren't doing ANYTHING to make it better, or make you want to trust them. Harsh as this is and it sucks that they more than likely will spend the holidays without spending much time with their grandson, they have nobody to blame but themselves because of how they've handled everything. They are grieving the loss of their daughter but they shouldn't be taking it out on you! If anything, they should be loving, supportive, and a part of your life. They've alienated themselves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Just have to get through three more weeks don't know how this is going to go they harassed the gate guard where i live today trying to get through -____- This is unbelievable. They are dangerous. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 This is unbelievable. They are dangerous. Maybe it is time for a restraining order. Let the courts settle their rights. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Maybe it is time for a restraining order. Let the courts settle their rights. I agree. And you're grieving too so shouldn't be put in the situation of having to make these awful decisions. There has to be a way for some kind of court-mandated visits with pre-defined penalties for missing drop-off times....or is there? I know nothing about this stuff. All I know is the authorities NEED to be involved. As I said, they're dangerouis. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Pasco has legal counsel, he has sole custody, he needs to follow the advice of his lawyer. The child's maternal grandparents will be faced with the logical consequences of their bad decisions & behavior. Restraining orders can escalate emotions and until Pasco's lawyer recommends such action, be wise, be wary. Grief, adjusting to single parenthood while working FT and at a geographic distance from family support--high demand psychologically and energy. Pasco has yet to begin to build a new social life. It will all cone in time. My wish and hope is that Pasco can sustain adequate confidence to avoid living in fear of losing custody. He cannot control the crazy decisions of his former-in-laws. Hang tough Pasco. Keep us updated. Vent here and know that we all understand and support you as you embrace life through your loss and grief. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 You don't need their approval. Take action that allows them to get that message loud and clear. You are the parent. They need to understand they should be playing nice in the sandbox - and when they're not - they don't get the privilege of playing at all! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Well spoken 2Sunny. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted December 1, 2012 Author Share Posted December 1, 2012 Thanks i told my Lawyer and he said he would handle it. Been thinking about just hiring a nanny instead of having my son in daycare. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Share Posted December 3, 2012 Picked up my son from daycare and he has bruises and i am really pissed now cause the daycare people are giving me the run around. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Picked up my son from daycare and he has bruises and i am really pissed now cause the daycare people are giving me the run around. Do you have any development on this? Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 (edited) I would be cautious about allowing visitation right now. Their judgment clearly is impaired and your child's well-being comes before their emotional pain. ETA because I just realized they dropped their claim. Edited December 8, 2012 by anna121 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted December 9, 2012 Author Share Posted December 9, 2012 Do you have any development on this? No there still giving me the run around. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 I just wanted to say that i think you are doing the right thing. A poster on page 6 mentioned empathy for them, as they had lost their daughter. Empathy can extend to a certain limit but it certainly does not excuse the fact that they tried to kidnap him, or that they are starting to harass him ... or even the initial lawsuit as there were better ways to arrange visitation rights. All of these are things that show they should NOT be trusted with the child at any cost. I really hope you are documenting this stuff and can prove it in court. Even if you don't end up proving it in court, these ppl sound very manipulative and i would not trust them into the future not to try and manipulate your own son against you ... it's good to have proof of their machinations. OP, what is the ethnic background of you and the boy's mother ? Was your wife an only child ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 What does my Race have to do with anything....... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 What does my Race have to do with anything....... That's a question that really has nothing to do with his thread. And that's information that he may feel is too personal to put out on the www. Even more so considering his situation with his sons grandparents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 I am white as was my sons mother not that it matters it wasn't a Racial issue to begin with and i feel that question should never of come up..... Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Stay strong for your son, Pasco. I'm sending you good Karma from just south of you in Pinellas. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I am white as was my sons mother not that it matters it wasn't a Racial issue to begin with and i feel that question should never of come up..... You live in the US, major melting pot of cultures, it can matter. And i asked for ethnic background, not race ... a very different thing. I hope you are doing the gathering of information ... because at some point this whole thing will turn into a PR war. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted December 11, 2012 Author Share Posted December 11, 2012 Still fail how to see how it matters...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pasco08 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 Went to pick up my son and heard about the shooting at that school and i rushed to get my son and just got ahold of him and hugged him for a good long time i couldn't imagine losing my son On another note my ex inlaws or whatever you wanna call him have decided to fly up to DC And stay in a hotel rather i or anyone else likes it. -____- Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 What a sad and awful tragedy for those families who lost their little ones. At least they are staying in a hotel and you get to control when they spend time with your son. Also, having your parents to back you up (aka if things get out of hand, your folks will talk some sense into your sons grandparents) is a good thing. Just call them your sons grandparents since they really have not been loving, nice or supportive towards you at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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