Wife left- Third Time 18 Years I'm OK

[revitup]

Just an update.

 

 

It's that good now!

REVITUP

[Downtown]

Great news, Rev!!! You deserve it.

[Gunny376]

And least we forget? She also as a consequence of her choices and actions? Also forfieted her bitchin', moanin', and complain' rights about you your life, what goes on in your life, with your life, your choices, your decisions, etc ~ as well as those of the DD14! Ain't life just a pain!

 

"Life is HARD!

 

Its even HARDER if your STUPID!" ~ Sgt. Stricker (aka John Wayne in "Sands Of Iwo Jima!")

 

To this? I should add

 

"Ignorance? Is curable!

 

Stupidity?

 

ISN'T!

[revitup]

Been busy lately and didn't post.So an update today.

 

STBXWW called and I spoke to her last week (I think it was last week).Anyhow,STBXWW wanted to bring DD15's (bday this week!) Stuff here all of a sudden?Why now ?

 

Anyway,I said naw...just mail it if want or it's ok if you just keep it all!

 

I went on to say STBXWW should really examine the bizarre sexual abuse STBXWW is allowing these men to do to her,and STBXWW to herself.I said she should really rethink this nasty lifestyle she has now been "enjoying" and that although I DO NOT CARE what she does with that thing,she ought to know that she once was a loving person who would never think of doing what she is now doing.I said "it's just not you"!

 

STBXWW says that she "just doesn't understand why she was acting like that and she knows it isn't her"?She went on to behave as though she has turned the corner and wants to a better person?She then brought up the "I will just bring DD15's stuff there to you" thing.Why ? She refused to send them before!

 

That's not happening!I see and smell the despair in her voice,that little bit of action which she wanted to "live her life and enjoy her freedom" for,isn't ringing the bell anymore.She has probably been passed around a bit by now and she would love to come "home" to heal....sort of like Forrest Gump's woman is what I think.

 

That is never gonna happen,no visits and no hugs for her!

 

I am clean and I will remain this way!Old girl has now lost the war itself.The lack of concern in me for her now is almost scary.I thought like most that it would take forever,it doesn't have to...if you are a fast learner.

 

Life's too short to take it slow.

 

REVITUP

[revitup]

Upating since it has been a while,

 

Well the STBXWW is still sending little texts "how are y'all" and "whatcha doin'"? and such.

 

Little does she know that I have already saw her "online dating" profile.It should bother me but it just doesn't.She wants to hang on or something.

 

Funniest part is that STBXWW seems to be looking for EXACTLY.... REVITUP!

 

Wow,STBXWW hated me but wants another one just like me?I have seen this in other's posts here as well from their x's.

 

Anyhow,we received her text last night and she asked "what are y'all doing"?DD15 says "we should tell her we are looking for another mommy,a good one"!

 

I didn't say that but boy did I really want to do it.We simply sent back that we are shopping for some dresses for DD15.

 

I just wanted to get that one out here,I haven't searched for her before and believe me,it wasn't hard to find STBXWW online.

 

It should help in the upcoming D case.

 

All other things are great and I have no intention of looking for anything more.I kinda feel weak for looking now.It did make me even more resolved to avoid STBXWW like the plague.

 

All is good.

 

REVITUP

[Downtown]

Rev, thanks so much for giving us an update. I'm glad to hear that you and DD15 are still doing so well. Spring is in the air!

[Gunny376]

Funniest part is that STBXWW seems to be looking for EXACTLY.... REVITUP!

 

 

It kind of ties in with the quote from Winston Churchill said about democracy ~

 

"Democracy is ABSOLUTELY the worse form government ~ until you one considers the alternatives!"

 

(Pet peeve of mine ~ we here in the United States DO NOT have a democracy. We have a Federal Constitutional Republic form of government. It you don't know the difference between that and a monarchy, socialist, communist, oligarchy, fascist, etc ~ I would suggest you at least get a good book on the various forms of government, better yet take a couple of classes on economics, history, and government. ~

END RANT!)

 

Many times in both my personal and professional life I've encountered this time and time yet time over again!

 

You think I'm a total screw up do you? You think I'm too "outside" of the box?

 

Well guess what?

 

You'll miss me when I'm gone!

 

I was out of work for a week with my DS passing away and then spending two days in the hospital with IV's stuck in my arms with dehydration and the "Stomach Flue" etc ~ yada ~ yada!

 

When I got back to work? Everyone was like "THANK GOD YOUR BACK! THE PLACE FELL APART WITHOUT YOU! WE WENT THROUGH HELL!" (That kind of recognition and appreciation you can't buy!)

 

Thing is? I got summoned for Jury Duty this last Wednesday. I got deferred ~ but again when I went back to work? Same deal! Everyone was glad I was back! Its just that I give 110 % + in all I do. I belive whether its in my personal life ~ or professional life to do so. Its a MARINE thing many out here in civilian la~la land don't and cannot comprehend and understand!

 

Its not so much that I'm a big cog in the transmission of where I work at? Its that I belive it my job and duty to keep "tha' man" off of my bosses back (Actually its a little selfish? I do everything to keep tha' man off of their back? Guess what? They stay off of mine and out of my face!") But I was also trained via the United States Marine Corps to be a team player ~ that there's no "I" in the word team!

 

I feel its my job to help the person to my right, to my left, in front of me, and behind me to accomplish their job as a part of accomplishing my job? Might be a crazy concept I know? But its how I roll.

 

So I do a lot of little things here and there throughout the day. I don't bark out orders, nor step in and takes charge? I just look out for the "newbe's, the temps, the lost, dazed and confused, etc. Give them the benefit of my knowledge, experience, education yada ~ yada ~ yada.

 

Same thing applies in my personal life. I put Mrs Gunny's wants, needs, feeling, desires, happiness before my own? Ditto with "our" children and grandchildren. (Which is pretty easy seeing as I really don't have that many! It doesn't take much to make me a happy camper! )

 

Mrs Gunny is happy?

 

I'm happy!

 

I know for a fact that my X's aren't happy with the one's they're with. Oh to hear them tell it? They are? But you don't spend 11 years with someone and 6.5 with another and just not know a little something about them. That's how I KNEW my X-wife was out cattin around. I didn't need any videos, pictures, "Cheaters" TV, a PI? I could just lay in bed beside her and I KNEW!

 

I told the Xwife, back before the Internet, Love shack, before I read the book "Divorce Busting"back before the TV show "Cheaters"

 

"At the very least? Your having an emotional affair with someone else!"

 

My education, reading, experience, training etc has served me well over the course of the years?

 

But it has ALWAYS been my my six sense ~ my Guardian Angle

~ that has time and time and time again saved my azz! That simple sense ~ hair raising up on the back of my neck and not even the verbalization of it in my mind of ~

 

"Something JUST isn't right here?"

 

Some say they get a tingly feeling over their bodies when they experience this?

 

Me? My azzhole gets that tingling feeling as in ~ "Someone is trying to f49k you! So stop your grinning and reach over and grab your linen!"

 

Nah! Not a gonna happen, there Slick!

 

Mine has served me well through what your going through now Rev. It served me well when I froze with my right foot at the forty-five degree angel about to step on a anti-personal land mine. It served me well when I was young, dumb and stupid at sixteen and went over into forty-foot gully on a rain slick highway in a 63' Chevy Bel Air without seat belts, and I just laid down across the seat reached under and grabbed a hold of the springs of the seat as I rolled her six times ~ while Neil Diamond sang "GOOD GOD!!!! to the tune of "Crunchy Granola Sweet!" It served me well when I was looking up and around at the cloud laden blue sky wondering like a young school boy ~ "What that'strange noise that keeps buzzing by my ears? Holy Cow! Those are bullets! Those SOBs are trying to kill me?"

 

All of that to say ~ although I'm a man of few words ~

 

Trust your gut instincts Rev!

They've got you this far!

[revitup]

Gunny,that's how it always is with me as well.Those who grumble about how you do business are the very first to beg you back when they fall.It's funny how you set up a system that makes it "appear" that it's just easy and then those above you mistakenly believe they can run it themselves because it's so "easy"!Then they drop the ball so fast that it's scary.

 

It's only when I go against my gut that I screw up.I have learned to go with the sixth sense and not waiver.

 

Thanks again.

REVITUP

[revitup]

I had to write down this latest communication with STBXWW.

 

Yesterday,I received a text from STBXWW.The back and forth went like this,

 

STBXWW:How are you guys?

 

REV:Doing great....how about yourself ?

 

STBXWW:sick

 

NO RESPONSE FROM ME

 

3 hours later.....STBXWW: It kinda sucks being sick and having no one there.

 

END...

 

OKAY,I find it very hard to feel sorry for a woman who I have just found her online dating profile.Maybe she should go on Craigslist like normal?

 

Surely there are many young hot men who want to baby a sick woman!

 

I do hope STBXWW gets well,I just don't want to catch that "bug" ever again.

 

REVITUP

[Downtown]

Exactly, Rev. Lord knows you've been there, done that already.

[revitup]

Yesterday....another STBXWW text saying

"REVITUP,you've got some really good qualities.I truly hope you find happiness and someone who can appreciate you.

 

What is STBXWW thinking?

 

I do not need to find them,they are finding me...as we speak!

 

REVITUP

[revitup]

It's been a couple of weeks since my last update.I thought I should update today.

 

I have been doing great and DD15 is doing just fine.DD15 finally spoke with STBXWW about a week ago.Therapist and Doc have pushed for some kind of contact between the two,DD15 just didn't want it until now.

 

STBXWW had called when DD15 and I were going bowling one Sunday.DD15 asked if she could speak to STBXWW (phone of STBXWW still blocked,by me) and it all went well.STBXWW sent me a pic of her new bird and I showed the pic to DD15.

 

STBXWW wants DD15 to visit a few days this summer over school vacation.I am ok with that at this point,but cautious.

 

DD15 tells me this morning, she feels sorry for her mom.That her mom now has no one to care about her and she is alone now.DD15 says that STBXWW has made some really bad choices and she just feels bad for STBXWW.

 

I feel that way as well.....but that was STBXWW's choice.I do not want to feel anything about STBXWW,one way or the other.

 

Simply put.....Gotye- Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)- official film clip on Vimeo

 

REVITUP!!!

[Downtown]

Rev, thanks for giving us another update. I was wondering how you and DD15 were doing. Sounds like you both are making progress. It is good, of course, that she is willing to speak with her mother.

[revitup]

Downtown,it's good that DD15 is speaking with her mom.I just know how things were with STBXWW's mom.STBXWW was tormented by the constant push-pull of her unstable mother.It was awful how that woman would come and go and I am weary of that happening.

 

Other than that....it will be my first Summer as a free man in 19 yrs!This could be very interesting!I'm so excited about the upcoming months.

 

In reading the new posts from those just starting this process of D/Breakups,I ache for them.If I could just grab them and let them know it's gonna actually be better without a cheating or mean SO,I would.

 

Anyway,it's all good here in N.C.-Beach and fishing offshore are now heating up and that's a good thing for REVITUP!

 

Have a great weekend and thanks again for the help from all on here.

 

REVITUP

[divine angel]

OK So I have been reading here for three days now and feel like I must have found a group of like minded people.Now the story.

 

As cold as I may sound,it does hurt badly and I am truly a compassionate man.I simply believe my daughter deserves the strongest father she can possibly have.

 

Wife and I were together for 18 yrs and married for 17- Aug 8th.

She is 41 I am 49.

One 14 yr old daughter between us.She is with my wife.

One daughter I adopted at four yrs old-wife's biological daughter.Raised her as my own and treated her better than my own two now grown kids from a previous marriage.She is now 21 and married.I met this little girl when she was four and she was calling my soon to be wife at the time "Sissy".I thought it was my wife's little sister.The wife then explained that she was wild in her youth and in her earlier days had given up her daughter to her mother because she wasn't capable of handling her daughter.

 

I knew I wanted to be married to my future wife and explained that her little girl would be angry later in life when she found out "moma" was actually g-ma and sissy was moma.I went to the g-ma and explained that I would make sure the little girl would be cared for and we wanted to get married and I would adopt her.G-ma went ballistic,turns out she is Bipolar and evil.

 

This woman treated my wife like a zero all of her life.My wife has memories of her mother having strange men in the same bed with her as a seven yr old.I have spent thousands on therapy and counseling.My wife doesn't know who her own father really is.This g-ma fought me in court for a year and it cost me 20k to win custody of the little girl but I did.

 

We married and I adopted her daughter and my wife has up until three months ago never held a job or had to work.I have worked hard to give my wife time with our children.Life was great with the exception of my wife's bipolar mother.

 

All holidays end up with this monster throwing things at people and gifts in the yard etc.Didn't know it was genetic.She recently told me that she only takes her meds because of me,that they make put with too much of my crap.She stops and she becomes a devil in the house.Then starts taking prescription weight loss drugs.

 

Of course all that is ever the problem is my fault,I do mean all.

 

My wife has left twice before and always I have been all over the place trying to find out why.Went to all of my friends and did all the wrong things.Bargained and kept the bargains.Pathetic at best.

 

Well five weeks ago she left while I was gone for the day.I came home and nothing,Pampered Chef cookware was gone,that's a bad sign.

 

I make one call,no answer,leave vm asking where she is and what's happened.No reply for a week.I do not call again or have any contact.I didn't know at the time but I was following the NC out of instinct.

 

After a week I start getting texts,are you OK?Good morning.Good night.I answer none of them.After two weeks I get a call from her asking why I don't answer her texts.I simply say I don't text much and I am busy.She refuses to tell me where she is.I only ask once and never again.I stay strong.It hurts like crazy,but I keep that to myself.

 

OK now she starts calling and saying she is coming here to get the rest of her items and can I be available to assist?I say yes but I want to see my 14 yr old daughter when she comes.She tells me to expect her on Saturday and then Sat never happens,next week same thing,no show.I still do not call,text or Facebook her at all.

 

Last week she does it again and actually shows up here,I assist her and even loan her a utility trailer to help get her stuff.Our daughter (21 yr old) is with her as well as my 14 yr old.The wife informs me that the 14 yr old is going to visit her little friend from here for the day as the wife and 21 yr old daughter help in getting the stuff loaded.This upsets me that I am being denied a visit with my daughter.I remain quiet but the 21 yr old tells me it is wrong for moma to do that to you and that she had already explained her displeasure to her mother concerning this.I keep helping all the while being positive and upbeat about it all.

 

Once the 21 yr old goes to get the 14 yr old my wife starts to be affectionate and asks me why I seem not to care.I let her know that leaving me 3 times is enough and that certain things have changed me from the last two times.

 

At this point the future x says why didn't you fight for us this time, like last time?I explain that being told she doesn't love me,doesn't respect me and all affection is gone was a bit too much for me and I have moved on.She starts crying and saying she does love me and was just angry when she said that.I ignore the tears and simply remember the coldness she has been showing me since starting her 1st real job.By the way I am not stupid,new job,lack of affection,secrecy and no love all at once,kinda feels like Jody in the mix here, is my thought (keep it to myself).Would never have said that before, but looks suspicious to me at that point.

 

Now comes the tears and hugs.The old "but I do love you and I do care" she says.She becomes affectionate and I ask why after months of degrading me and being hurtful,distant and lacking in love does she suddenly love me?She answers that she misses me.Then comes the booty trick....Been a while and we are still married, so I take it,mistake maybe but I am still a man and it's been months.

 

Now comes the "let's walk around the flower beds and gardens"...we live on a farm of 10 acres and there are lots of flowers etc.I accept and she asked if we could hold hands and I oblige her as we walk.She says "this feels so right"I say yep.Small talk and nice time.I have no expectations at all at this point.Just observing her behavior and being very cautious.

 

Now our daughters both return and the "I love you" thing stops.I know right then it was a front.She then for the first time in five weeks tells me where she is living.

 

She has purchased a camper- 28 ft fifth wheel and put it in our 21 yr old daughter's back yard, five hours away.I am not pleased but say congratulations and that I am proud of her abilities and her future.

 

Now she tells me she is cleaning houses and going to school soon to be a Certified Nursing Assistant.Six week course.I again congratulate her and express my happiness as to her new life.This all happened on Sat Sept 15th 2012.

 

Monday I get a phone call from wife and she is concerned again as to how I am so happy and show no signs of grief.She asks me if I have already found someone else.I probably shouldn't have done this one but I explain my feelings for her,let her know that I have done my very best,tell her she was the only woman in 18 years,the only woman I ever had eyes for,the most beautiful woman in the world to me,that I have no immediate plans to see anyone at all and that she hurt me badly by leaving.I let it all out there.

 

She now asks me how it was that I didn't come after her like last time,how I can be so happy,how I could just move on so fast.My answer was that I have researched and studied the facts about wives who abruptly leave without explanation,cut off all affection,don't love their husbands anymore,become cold,distracted and this while starting a new job.

 

I explain that she became this way, after meeting new guys on her first job 3 months ago.I go on to say I have found a craigslist ad which has her and the guy she works with that she calls "a little brother" advertising for side jobs cleaning houses and doing maintenance work,it has her pic and her number as well as his.She then tells me, she didn't know about that ad.I explain that it was placed a day after she friended him on Facebook,which was the same day she went to the funeral 300 miles away of her stepdad.(I couldn't go due to friction between her bipolar mother) who my wife doesn't speak to either,it is that bad.She says he has a wife and a 12 yr old and his wife is seven months pregnant,I explain that only means he isn't getting any at home.

 

She denies any emotional and or physical relationship with "little brother".I say well "little brother is a team leader in the US Army Reserves".She says now she understands why I have given up on contact and am trying to detach.

 

I then let her know that stats show a wayward wife who behaves this way is CHEATING and that I really don't care what she says.She fights hard for an hour,crying and saying she would never cheat and that I should believe her.I let her know that my heart would,but my mind is in charge now.She asks if we can speak again tomorrow.I say yes but have your thoughts ready and call me as I will not call you.I let her know that I shouldn't have let my feelings out but that now, she knows where I stand.She is again telling me how she is "in love" with me.

 

Today she does call.I am different today though.She just wants to small talk and be sweet,no talk of future plans to return or make a go of it.Almost acts like she has ran out to Walmart or something.

 

Now here we go.I explain that I will be sending her the separation agreement shortly and that I need her address.I let her know that I am trying to help her to enjoy the life she really wants and that other than calls about my daughter, I won't be available.I go on to say that she should enjoy dating,finding new friendships and moving forward with her life.She starts crying again,says she doesn't want anyone else and asks if I have no hope,she lets me know how she has hope.I let her know that if it is meant to be....it will be apparent in a few years, if we haven't found other people who we enjoy better.

 

She gets emotional and has to get off the phone.She says I Love You,I say goodbye.

 

Now for my reasoning and questions

 

1.If you leave me once ,twice and three times,it is reasonable to believe a fourth will come soon or I will always be walking on eggshells as before waiting for it.

 

2.I refuse to be a safety zone for her as she looks around at the other grass.

 

3.I have been emotionally changed by this constantly adjusting my manhood to satisfy a woman who doesn't want anyting now but for me to ask and beg her back again.

 

4.If this is mental or bipolar and she refuses her meds..I can't help her anyway.

 

5.If it is another man...I will never accept that in my life,just happens to be the dealbreaker for me.I won't bend on that one.

 

6.The time away and with no contact has made me see that I am happier not worrying if I am coming home to an empty home again.

 

7.I was stronger before she started her control issues and will be now.

 

That being said.I need a plan and quick.

 

Questions

 

1.Did I screw up by deciding on the separation agreement?If so, I still won't back up,that would be weak.

 

2.What is my next step?

 

REVITUP

I think your doing the right thing im a woman in my forties had the other way around 3 times in 13yrs its hurtful degrading and dont understand why they do it my ex gone again for the last time cant do it know more i have never cheated just like yourself and have tried to help him as much as possible over the years glad to know im not on my own it makes you feel very isolated hoping his new 1 of only 6 weeks already moved in with her is his next victim maybe they never change hope youve managed to move on since sept theres hope for us all then

[Gunny376]

I hope you don't mind my not posting to your thread to much Rev? I don't because? Well?

 

YOU GOT IT!

 

My work is done here!

[revitup]

Thanks Gunny,

 

It is all good again this week!

 

Maybe it's because of springtime,but recently I have been all about "purging".We are removing and or throwing away all the items (junk) that have built up around the farm over the years.DD15 and I have been burning all of the old stuff as well as anything the STBXWW left here.It has been long enough for her to get it away!

 

Somehow it feels great to just get rid of all of the "stuff" that is in the way of finding the good stuff we really want to enjoy.It appears that (as in the case with STBXWW) stuff you don't enjoy will keep your focus away from that which you really enjoy in life.

 

REVITUP

[MsOptimist]

Glad to hear you have had a good week - I agree that purging is very therapeutic! Get rid of the clutter and make room for new memories with DD!

 

Have a great weekend!

[Gunny376]

Thanks Gunny,

 

It is all good again this week!

 

Maybe it's because of springtime,but recently I have been all about "purging".We are removing and or throwing away all the items (junk) that have built up around the farm over the years.DD15 and I have been burning all of the old stuff as well as anything the STBXWW left here.It has been long enough for her to get it away!

 

Somehow it feels great to just get rid of all of the "stuff" that is in the way of finding the good stuff we really want to enjoy.It appears that (as in the case with STBXWW) stuff you don't enjoy will keep your focus away from that which you really enjoy in life.

 

REVITUP

 

Just don't get too "Happy" and caried away with doing it!

 

[revitup]

A little update,

 

This week STBXWW texts DD15 (I allowed the phone block to expire on purpose) STBXWW still only sends DD15 a message about every 7-10 days.Text is same as usual-"I love you and miss you",DD15 sends text saying "we need to talk about plans for me to visit you (STBXWW) over the summer.

 

STBXWW sends "Well I am thinking about coming up there for a day and talking about what we need to do" (STBXWW is 5 hours south).DD15 sends back "we can just talk later tonight" (DD15 is smart) and comes to me saying "Dad,I see mom trying to just get back in with us"!DD15 sent the text three days ago saying to just talk before "coming here to talk" and there has been NO response from STBXWW.

 

STBXWW is up to something and with her issues I simply can't figure out what that may be at this time.It could be a recon mission,a chance to come here and be all dolled up in order to rekindle a hold on me or simply a chance to see if we would ever allow her back.I don't know.Too much water is now under the bridge for me.

 

It really does not matter why she wants to come,I do not want her to come here to MY house.STBXWW left that privilege over eight months ago.I do not want to deal with her games either way.It makes no sense for STBXWW to come here in order to discuss plans to come and pick up DD15 later in the summer!That can be done via phone.

 

Maybe I am over analyzing it all,but after the traps STBXWW has sprang over the years,I like to be prepared for anything.

 

Any thoughts?

 

REVITUP

[ver13]

If you really don't want her in your house don't let it happen remember she doesn't live there anymore. I have been following what you have been going through and right now you are in a good place. Why let her mess it up with her drama stick to your gun's and deal with her at a distance. If she insist on coming up there to your part of the woods meet her somewhere neutral for coffee. Then when the talking is over pay the check and go your seperate way's. If she wants to waste 5 hours driving to meet at Waffle House over coffee let her it's her gas. Your EX can find a motel if she's to tired to make the drive back or some old friends house to crash on the couch if need be. She's a big girl and can take care of herself, please remember to remind her of that. As I remember it she was the one that step out in the first place why let her back in now.

[Downtown]

Maybe I am over analyzing it all,but after the traps STBXWW has sprang over the years,I like to be prepared for anything. Any thoughts?

Rev, thanks for the update. It doesn't sound like "overanalysis" to me. I agree with you that it is prudent to be prepared for various outcomes. And I agree you should meet her, if she comes, somewhere outside your home -- ideally at a restaurant, as Ver13 suggests, or another public place.

[revitup]

Agreed.......STBXWW is not to do a surprise visit here!

 

I just wanted to bounce my thinking around a little.It seems soooooo good to be away from her.

 

That being said....it's BEACH time!

[revitup]

Well it doesn't take long for the STBXWW to show her true colors.

 

Mothers Day-STBXWW calls DD15 in the afternoon (DD15 had left Happy Mothers Day message for STBXWW earlier per my urging).We were in the car driving home from the beach.The weekend was wonderful for us and we were laughing.STBXWW asks what are y'all doing and DD15 says coming home from the beach.

 

DD15 then asks STBXWW if she has planned some time off to be with DD15 during the upcoming trip to visit STBXWW over DD15's summer vacation.

 

STBXWW goes off!!!!Says "I can hear the sarcasm in your voice DD15"!I am just listening and can't really understand what is going on here.I only hear DD15 but know that STBXWW is pushing her buttons.

 

Well,it did not work.DD15 went off on her mother.DD15 says "you are not going to guilt me into feeling bad anymore!DD15 then says "are you there"?If you're not going to speak to me or plan some time off for my visit,then I am hanging up now".She did!

 

Of course my phone rings.STBXWW says "I have to work alot of hours to keep a roof and feed myself,I can't just take off work".I ask her what the heck just happened.STBXWW says "DD15 is different,what is going with her"?

 

I said,"What is wrong with DD15 asking you to take time off to spend at least a small amount of time with her on a visit"?STBXWW says "nothing is wrong with asking that question,it's just her TONE".

 

I have heard the "TONE" excuse many times myself.This is what guilty people accuse you of doing,when you are right on the money and they have no defense.

 

I feel that STBXWW is pushing DD15 away on purpose.I see this as a way to keep her from visiting her over the summer.STBXWW is intentionally doing this just as STBXWW's mother did it to her.

 

These BPD'rs will get you reeled in just before any special event or holiday.Then on that day WHAM!!!They go stupid on you and act like a victim.This lasts until you get near the next holiday.It then repeats itself all over again.

 

DD15 is a great kid and very respectful to her mother,she did nothing to get this treatment on a special day.I can't stand what her own mother did to her.STBXWW does not deserve either one of us.

 

I was not going to do it,but it may be time to hit her sorry AZZ with child support.I won't, but boy does it come to mind.

 

Anyway,STBXWW didn't get to either one of us except for that brief few minutes.It bothers me that I ever unblocked STBXWW from DD15's phone now.

 

It's just a no-win for me.If I block her,it's my fault she can't bond with DD15.If I don't,STBXWW takes these shots and acts stupid.

 

Good thing is that I have 10 weeks to be legally divorced from this witch.

 

REVITUP

[ver13]

Just think about what you said TEN WEEKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man it will be better than Christmas, Birthday, 4 of July etc... all rolled up into one.