Wife left- Third Time 18 Years I'm OK

[revitup]

Well,WW did call.She acts as if she is at the store or Walmart.Nothing heavy to talk about at all.

 

Daughter is fine.

 

WW did throw in a passive agressive "well if you had done what you should have....this wouldn't have happened"

 

I simply replied "I can't take any blame for this one" and changed the subject.

 

She is 5 hours away,I explained that I need my daughter's holiday break schedule in order to meet halfway or something and take my daughter to the beach and spend some "alone time" with my daughter.To this the WW says "well I might be coming there to visit your brother's wife" I blew that off and went back to the halfway "alone time" thing.

 

Just baffling how she doesn't have anything important to say at all.Just like this scenario is somehow a normal part of life.

 

As for documentation,I input all activities into my ACT program which tracks all important dates and times as well as my planner/journal.

 

I think it best to avoid all conversation with WW again.I won't be answering any goofy texts for a while.It just seems to put me in the fog all over when I do.

[2sunny]

Next time she plays that "I'll call you" or " we need to talk" simply respond

 

"Don't bother"!

 

Communicate with your daughter directly!

 

Eliminate that need to keep your exW (soon to be) as the middle man.

[2sunny]

no don`t do this.

 

either respond or don`t

 

if you have to respond , be polite, nice and friendly

 

Really? Why? Theres nothing that that needs to be discussed that he can't find out from his attorney.

 

When he keeps in touch with his kids - he will know what they have going on in their daily lives.

 

His W calls to say empty words - hence no reason to chat with her.

 

Wasted energy.

[skywriter]

OK So I have been reading here for three days now and feel like I must have found a group of like minded people.Now the story.

 

As cold as I may sound,it does hurt badly and I am truly a compassionate man.I simply believe my daughter deserves the strongest father she can possibly have.

 

Wife and I were together for 18 yrs and married for 17- Aug 8th.

She is 41 I am 49.

One 14 yr old daughter between us.She is with my wife.

One daughter I adopted at four yrs old-wife's biological daughter.Raised her as my own and treated her better than my own two now grown kids from a previous marriage.She is now 21 and married.I met this little girl when she was four and she was calling my soon to be wife at the time "Sissy".I thought it was my wife's little sister.The wife then explained that she was wild in her youth and in her earlier days had given up her daughter to her mother because she wasn't capable of handling her daughter.

 

I knew I wanted to be married to my future wife and explained that her little girl would be angry later in life when she found out "moma" was actually g-ma and sissy was moma.I went to the g-ma and explained that I would make sure the little girl would be cared for and we wanted to get married and I would adopt her.G-ma went ballistic,turns out she is Bipolar and evil.

 

This woman treated my wife like a zero all of her life.My wife has memories of her mother having strange men in the same bed with her as a seven yr old.I have spent thousands on therapy and counseling.My wife doesn't know who her own father really is.This g-ma fought me in court for a year and it cost me 20k to win custody of the little girl but I did.

 

We married and I adopted her daughter and my wife has up until three months ago never held a job or had to work.I have worked hard to give my wife time with our children.Life was great with the exception of my wife's bipolar mother.

 

All holidays end up with this monster throwing things at people and gifts in the yard etc.Didn't know it was genetic.She recently told me that she only takes her meds because of me,that they make put with too much of my crap.She stops and she becomes a devil in the house.Then starts taking prescription weight loss drugs.

 

Of course all that is ever the problem is my fault,I do mean all.

 

My wife has left twice before and always I have been all over the place trying to find out why.Went to all of my friends and did all the wrong things.Bargained and kept the bargains.Pathetic at best.

 

Well five weeks ago she left while I was gone for the day.I came home and nothing,Pampered Chef cookware was gone,that's a bad sign.

 

I make one call,no answer,leave vm asking where she is and what's happened.No reply for a week.I do not call again or have any contact.I didn't know at the time but I was following the NC out of instinct.

 

After a week I start getting texts,are you OK?Good morning.Good night.I answer none of them.After two weeks I get a call from her asking why I don't answer her texts.I simply say I don't text much and I am busy.She refuses to tell me where she is.I only ask once and never again.I stay strong.It hurts like crazy,but I keep that to myself.

 

OK now she starts calling and saying she is coming here to get the rest of her items and can I be available to assist?I say yes but I want to see my 14 yr old daughter when she comes.She tells me to expect her on Saturday and then Sat never happens,next week same thing,no show.I still do not call,text or Facebook her at all.

 

Last week she does it again and actually shows up here,I assist her and even loan her a utility trailer to help get her stuff.Our daughter (21 yr old) is with her as well as my 14 yr old.The wife informs me that the 14 yr old is going to visit her little friend from here for the day as the wife and 21 yr old daughter help in getting the stuff loaded.This upsets me that I am being denied a visit with my daughter.I remain quiet but the 21 yr old tells me it is wrong for moma to do that to you and that she had already explained her displeasure to her mother concerning this.I keep helping all the while being positive and upbeat about it all.

 

Once the 21 yr old goes to get the 14 yr old my wife starts to be affectionate and asks me why I seem not to care.I let her know that leaving me 3 times is enough and that certain things have changed me from the last two times.

 

At this point the future x says why didn't you fight for us this time, like last time?I explain that being told she doesn't love me,doesn't respect me and all affection is gone was a bit too much for me and I have moved on.She starts crying and saying she does love me and was just angry when she said that.I ignore the tears and simply remember the coldness she has been showing me since starting her 1st real job.By the way I am not stupid,new job,lack of affection,secrecy and no love all at once,kinda feels like Jody in the mix here, is my thought (keep it to myself).Would never have said that before, but looks suspicious to me at that point.

 

Now comes the tears and hugs.The old "but I do love you and I do care" she says.She becomes affectionate and I ask why after months of degrading me and being hurtful,distant and lacking in love does she suddenly love me?She answers that she misses me.Then comes the booty trick....Been a while and we are still married, so I take it,mistake maybe but I am still a man and it's been months.

 

Now comes the "let's walk around the flower beds and gardens"...we live on a farm of 10 acres and there are lots of flowers etc.I accept and she asked if we could hold hands and I oblige her as we walk.She says "this feels so right"I say yep.Small talk and nice time.I have no expectations at all at this point.Just observing her behavior and being very cautious.

 

Now our daughters both return and the "I love you" thing stops.I know right then it was a front.She then for the first time in five weeks tells me where she is living.

 

She has purchased a camper- 28 ft fifth wheel and put it in our 21 yr old daughter's back yard, five hours away.I am not pleased but say congratulations and that I am proud of her abilities and her future.

 

Now she tells me she is cleaning houses and going to school soon to be a Certified Nursing Assistant.Six week course.I again congratulate her and express my happiness as to her new life.This all happened on Sat Sept 15th 2012.

 

Monday I get a phone call from wife and she is concerned again as to how I am so happy and show no signs of grief.She asks me if I have already found someone else.I probably shouldn't have done this one but I explain my feelings for her,let her know that I have done my very best,tell her she was the only woman in 18 years,the only woman I ever had eyes for,the most beautiful woman in the world to me,that I have no immediate plans to see anyone at all and that she hurt me badly by leaving.I let it all out there.

 

She now asks me how it was that I didn't come after her like last time,how I can be so happy,how I could just move on so fast.My answer was that I have researched and studied the facts about wives who abruptly leave without explanation,cut off all affection,don't love their husbands anymore,become cold,distracted and this while starting a new job.

 

I explain that she became this way, after meeting new guys on her first job 3 months ago.I go on to say I have found a craigslist ad which has her and the guy she works with that she calls "a little brother" advertising for side jobs cleaning houses and doing maintenance work,it has her pic and her number as well as his.She then tells me, she didn't know about that ad.I explain that it was placed a day after she friended him on Facebook,which was the same day she went to the funeral 300 miles away of her stepdad.(I couldn't go due to friction between her bipolar mother) who my wife doesn't speak to either,it is that bad.She says he has a wife and a 12 yr old and his wife is seven months pregnant,I explain that only means he isn't getting any at home.

 

She denies any emotional and or physical relationship with "little brother".I say well "little brother is a team leader in the US Army Reserves".She says now she understands why I have given up on contact and am trying to detach.

 

I then let her know that stats show a wayward wife who behaves this way is CHEATING and that I really don't care what she says.She fights hard for an hour,crying and saying she would never cheat and that I should believe her.I let her know that my heart would,but my mind is in charge now.She asks if we can speak again tomorrow.I say yes but have your thoughts ready and call me as I will not call you.I let her know that I shouldn't have let my feelings out but that now, she knows where I stand.She is again telling me how she is "in love" with me.

 

Today she does call.I am different today though.She just wants to small talk and be sweet,no talk of future plans to return or make a go of it.Almost acts like she has ran out to Walmart or something.

 

Now here we go.I explain that I will be sending her the separation agreement shortly and that I need her address.I let her know that I am trying to help her to enjoy the life she really wants and that other than calls about my daughter, I won't be available.I go on to say that she should enjoy dating,finding new friendships and moving forward with her life.She starts crying again,says she doesn't want anyone else and asks if I have no hope,she lets me know how she has hope.I let her know that if it is meant to be....it will be apparent in a few years, if we haven't found other people who we enjoy better.

 

She gets emotional and has to get off the phone.She says I Love You,I say goodbye.

 

Now for my reasoning and questions

 

1.If you leave me once ,twice and three times,it is reasonable to believe a fourth will come soon or I will always be walking on eggshells as before waiting for it.

 

2.I refuse to be a safety zone for her as she looks around at the other grass.

 

3.I have been emotionally changed by this constantly adjusting my manhood to satisfy a woman who doesn't want anyting now but for me to ask and beg her back again.

 

4.If this is mental or bipolar and she refuses her meds..I can't help her anyway.

 

5.If it is another man...I will never accept that in my life,just happens to be the dealbreaker for me.I won't bend on that one.

 

6.The time away and with no contact has made me see that I am happier not worrying if I am coming home to an empty home again.

 

7.I was stronger before she started her control issues and will be now.

 

That being said.I need a plan and quick.

 

Questions

 

1.Did I screw up by deciding on the separation agreement?If so, I still won't back up,that would be weak.

 

2.What is my next step?

 

REVITUP

 

 

Wow!!! Bravor Revitup! Hands down, the best post I've ever read on LS.

 

I'd say, from here on out, follow your gut as you have and of course the advice of your ATTY.

 

Best of luck to you, sir!

[2sunny]

i agree with you

 

so why does he have to bother with " don`t bother"??

 

to reply to a dragon is just feeding its fire??

 

Yes - better option.

 

Doing NOTHING is actually something.

[revitup]

skywriter...thank you.That's more support and encouragement than I've gotten from the WW in years!

 

Coopster...gotta agree with you on this one.No need to talk to the woman anymore.It just ends up badly each time.She really is not the same person I knew before.Intentionally hurting me is not allowed anymore.

 

I really have racked my brain as to why she would intentionally do these things.What is her end game and such?I think now that there is no end game.It's simply sport with her at this point.Maybe she has to be somehow still connected or secure in the fantasy world she created.

 

Really it doesn't matter why she's doing it at all.The only thing now is to navigate the divorce with some sort of dignity,while protecting my daughter.

 

You may be able to tell,I have alot of time on my hands today.That's not a good thing!Too much thinking time isn't good for me!

[Owl]

If you got time on your hands...do something with it. Go out and enjoy the weather, take a walk, go bowling, grab a good book, do some shopping with an eye towards a kick butt meal tonight (steak smothered in sauteed onions and shrooms, covered in cheese with a side of steak fries, perhaps?).

 

Use the time...don't let it waste by spending it on her.

 

[Gunny376]

skywriter...thank you.That's more support and encouragement than I've gotten from the WW in years!

 

Coopster...gotta agree with you on this one.No need to talk to the woman anymore.It just ends up badly each time.She really is not the same person I knew before.Intentionally hurting me is not allowed anymore.

 

I really have racked my brain as to why she would intentionally do these things.What is her end game and such?I think now that there is no end game.It's simply sport with her at this point.Maybe she has to be somehow still connected or secure in the fantasy world she created.

 

Really it doesn't matter why she's doing it at all.The only thing now is to navigate the divorce with some sort of dignity,while protecting my daughter.

 

You may be able to tell,I have alot of time on my hands today.That's not a good thing!Too much thinking time isn't good for me!

 

LOL! To paraphrase the comedian Chris Rock ~ "Men can never win an argument with a woman ~ because men have a NEED TO MAKE SENSE!

 

And while this isn't all inclusive of any and all women? It is inclusive enough with enough of them. Women in general have a tendecy to communicate indirectly while men tend to communicate directly ("Say what they mean and mean what they say")

 

For most men, if its not a fruit? Its not a color. Peach is a color, a banana is yellow, and apple can be red or yellow, or even green. Not so with women. Most men haven't a clue as to what "mauve" is? Just to SAY women tend to think much more in depth, in detail, notice little details, be more preceptive, and think more dimesonially than your atypical man.

 

In regard to the WW/STBXW? Most definitely keep a journal. It may or may not be of any use other than to yourself. If for nothing else? It will help as an outlet to feelings/emotions that are just too private to post here. It will be a record of what is and has taken place. Most people that go through divorce have epitomes and revelations years afterwards. More often than not we all come to the same conclusion? "WTF was I thinking?" And if need be? It can and will serve as a record in explaining to the now adolescent DD14 what happened, the choices you were confronted it, and the choices that you made.

 

Finally I would suggest to you that your situation is very much one of "The less said? The best said!" Remember anything you say or don't say, do or don't do, can, and will be misrepresented, turned into lies, half truths, misinterpreted, turned inside out, wrong side out. Other than conversations about the DD14? I wouldn't let myself get led into any kind of discussions with the WW/STBXW.

 

I don't claim to be an expert when it comes to women ~ except to say that they're all the same? Yet they're each and every one of them different. A paradox at best. And I don't like throwing "blankets" over entire groups of people just because they share one common trait of characteristics.

 

But I do know that a lot of women can be very, very, very manipulative. And can be and are very good at "plalying" men sometimes for years and years ahead in their game. That's not to say that men don't, or that any and all women do? Just that its my personal experience and my observation of other men with women and their relationship.

Edited October 23, 2012 by Gunny376

[revitup]

Gunny....that was good right there.Thank you

 

Oh I'm not sitting around waiting on her.It's just a distraction,that's all.If my DD14 was not involved, it would be simple.After I actually spoke to my DD14 yesterday,my mind was clear.We made plans for holiday break activities together.She answered my texts last night with "yes sir" this let's me know momma hasn't alienated me too far. Made me feel good.

 

Food?You betcha! I can catch the tuna,grouper,wahoo,mahi and Snappers too.

Then I can filet them, grill,fry or bake them.My momma taught me how to cook.I do Mahi Mahi,Wahoo taco's,steamed crabs,oysters Rockefeller,clams casino and all the other goodies.Covered on the food thing.

 

Buddies are saying,Best way to get over one, is with another one!

 

This would be easy for me.It seems many women nowadays, like to send single men their photos!I have never had a problem attracting women,finding a good one or the right one, is where I have screwed up.

 

As far as the journal,I have always kept one.In one I simply put fool things I've done!It is always good to look back and see how silly I was at one time or another.Gunny's comment "WTF was I thinking?" is a mainstay in my reflections on my life!

 

Well,I'm off to enjoy the sunshine and eat something good.

[2sunny]

Yes - better option.

 

Doing NOTHING is actually something.

 

omg... 2sunny( sorry OP for the TJ)... why are you so negative ALL the time??

 

maybe sometimes posters on here just want to be heard??

 

Why are you viewing this as "negative"? I don't. I view it as neutral.

 

Wen my exH was coming at me with his abuse and manipulation - saying NOTHING and DOING NOTHING saved my a$$! To have responded would have ONLY fueled the fire - but it was a life saving tactic I LEARNED from a top notch trauma counselor!

 

And it was awesome to NOT respond to his craziness... It helped ME keep a clear head and make SOLID decisions that were in MY best interest without the distraction of all his drama.

 

Stop criticizing my input that has value - I think YOU are the one putting a negative twist on a good suggestion!

[revitup]

It's been a week since I posted,so I'm posting.

 

Nothing new from the runaway wife.

Still NC and I'm liking it.

 

Went down to the beach house to watch Hurricane Sandy and look for shells.Just for kicks.Had a nice couple of days and saw my beach buddies.

 

I have felt more confident about myself than I have in many,many years.It seems I no longer second guess myself or prepare my remarks for when I get home at night.

 

I am more confident when around my friends as well...no more "eggshells" and no more fear of embarrassment from WW's passive aggressive remarks in front of my friends. This is probably the best result of the 180's and NC, for me anyway.

 

I am a lucky man.I have been blessed in my life.I have some great friends who love me.I have a great God.

 

Anyway,

 

My DD14 and I talk almost daily and always text/FB everyday.

 

Today,though, I saw a little girl, looked like my DD14...made me feel happy and at the same time,a pit in my stomach.I miss my DD14 and our time together.

I will see her in person, Dec-(holiday break) she is 5 hrs away.

 

After seeing this little girl today (who reminded me of my DD14)I was a little angry about what this wayward woman wife of mine, has destroyed.

 

I can tell you, I feel lucky to be away from a person who would do this junk, to anyone.

 

That's it....venting over.

 

I guess you just don't know when a trigger will occur,it just felt strange to be without my family today.It always does to some extent,but today it really made me think about how mean this lady has treated me over the years.

 

I'm good now.

 

Gonna have a great Sunday.

 

REVITUP!!!

[revitup]

My weekly update,

 

Earlier today I called my dd14 and we talked about her school,sports and just fun stuff.Really great feelings,conversation went well, as usual.

 

Then my dd14 says ,can mommy speak to you?

 

Well I have been NC and 180's with a vengeance for months,I say OK!

 

I hear her voice and WOW it didn't effect me at all,no feelings and no emotions,one way or the other.

 

I keep it light and fluffy,enthusiastically congratulating her on all of the new activities and jobs she is looking into.She states that she is going to her CNA classes and that they will be over November 20th.I say "great,I am proud of you,keep up the good work".

 

The STBXWW then says she has just quit the job she had gotten (I didn't know she had one) because she was going to class from 7:30am until 3:30 pm and sleeping in her car for an hour then working at Amazon until 4:30 am the following mornings!

 

WTF!!! I just say well,that might not give you much time for DD14,be careful there,I know you will figure it all out.No complaining from me at all,even though the math don't work...How is she giving any attention at all to my DD14? 4:30am-7:30am?Not allowing for drive time!

 

Now she says she has scored another job,caring for a 90 yr old man and his 89 yr old wife.She says mostly giving baths.I say "well he will be happy,a pretty girl washing his pee pee!She laughs and I laugh,iI think it was just a way for me to show that I am back to my funny self.That's something she however,has lost!

 

Anyway it was a good talk and I actually said I would now talk to her anytime ,as long as I am not busy.

 

Well we end the conversation after 15 minutes or so and she says , "it was really,really nice talking to you,I am glad you agreed to talk.I say no problem,good luck with the new job.

 

I get home and she has also texted,"I really enjoyed talking to u".

 

I text back,after 45 minutes,You're welcome,congrats on your new job.

 

I think I did real good,I believe I am back to the me that I was years ago.

 

I will tell you, it is amazing what time can do for your mindset.My ability to

control my own emotions and focus is in a new place from three months ago.

 

This is due in large part,to all of you here.It works.

 

Oh yeah,I am not deceived by this villain,she hurt me and left the best thing she will ever know,she also has handed the next woman a gift,a well mannered and passionate man...already trained!

 

REVITUP

[whichwayisup]

Oh yeah,I am not deceived by this villain,she hurt me and left the best thing she will ever know,she also has handed the next woman a gift,a well mannered and passionate man...already trained!

 

REVITUP

 

Fantastic way of looking at this!

 

I'm thinking your ex is realizing that life is not as peachy and wishes things were different..

[pcplod]

I think that the best way to assess it is to say that no matter how unsatisfactory it may be you probably had few options open to you.

 

It could be that she has someone else in her life that she won't reveal, but even if she does does it matter to you in the overall scheme of things? Put another way, would it change your mind if she didn't. I assume not.

 

There is no benefit in acting out of pride, understandable though it may be but in terms of preserving your sanity it is the only thing that matters.

 

It's over when you instinctly know it is over. No point in labouring over it. It simply is what it is; a turd.

[Gunny376]

It's over when you instinctly know it is over. No point in labouring over it. It simply is what it is; a turd.

 

Surely there's a mountain such as Mount Rushmore or such that we have these words carved upon for generations upon generations to come to read and live by.

 

Even given our own faults that we have made in our lives and relationships its best to remeber that

 

"We all make mistakes. The key is to recognized, to learn from them and then take off the rear view mirrors, drive on and avoid making them again"

 

~ Gen Petraius ~ in regards to his recent resignation over his affair and cheating on his wife of 37 years.

[revitup]

Monday...STBXWW calls me and tells about her day?

 

Anyway she lets me know she had a great time with the clients-91 yr old lady and her 89 yr old husband.STBXWW is their new part time helper.

 

Anyway STBXWW says "The little old man is so cute,he holds his wife's hand continuously,it is so sweet.It reminded me of YOU and how you have always (18 yrs) held mine."

 

I just laughed and said that's cool stuff.

 

Somebody might be waking from the fairy tale?

 

Doesn't matter now,I have made other plans.

 

I am now thinking that everything the STBXWW does,is a ploy.Some underhanded plan to hurt me or screw with my head.

 

Maybe I am over thinking this thing but then again when you get hurt,you see things you once were blind to seeing.

 

 

I am OK with the calls now.

 

Should I be aware of something else heading down the pike here?

 

There isn't really any rules for "after the NC is over" is there?

[revitup]

Great wisdom here,

 

It's over when you instinctly know it is over. No point in labouring over it. It simply is what it is; a turd.

 

And......you can't wash a turd;)

[bpdr]

Great wisdom here,

 

It's over when you instinctly know it is over. No point in labouring over it. It simply is what it is; a turd.

 

I have been following your story revitup. My story is quite actually nearly identical in situation as yours minus the child and many less years in M than yours. Our timeline is also identical. My situation began in August. I am encouraged by your strengths here - and the fog has lifted for you, and resolve is all that remains is the D and care of your child. The mess these wife's have caused is immensely disturbing.

 

Please continue to update this thread as you much as you can. Your success in many ways is an inspiration for many of us dealing with such shallow and superficial wife's and the heartbreaking actions they wreak into our lives.

 

I enjoy reading what you have to say on your situation.

 

All the best,

B

[revitup]

BPDR, Thank you,thank you so very much,I also need encouragement as the days add up.You encourage me as well...all of you.

 

It may appear to be easy for me,it certainly is not so easy.There are days when all I can do is hang on to my sanity.

 

There are days,when a well meaning friend says something meant to encourage,only to hurt my feelings by digging up a memory from the good ole days.

 

There are days I want to hold her and tell her I love her as I used to do.

 

There are days I am angry and hurt at the same time.

 

There are days I am perplexed.

 

There are days I am happy and content.

 

There are days I am proud of my life.

 

But......in all of these days,I am grateful for what I am becoming, as a result of this process.

 

It's not that I am grateful for the problem,just grateful for the opportunity to wake up in the greatest Country in the world.

 

Grateful for my health.

 

Grateful for my DD14.

 

Grateful for my sound mind.

 

Grateful for my friends.

 

Grateful for the opportunity to be what I decide.

 

There is no right way to do this stuff,there is a wrong way though.

 

By reading the posts of those here,I avoid the pitfalls and snares which others warn us about.

 

It really is simple.....but not easy!

 

I am following a set of rules now,the results are self evident.Your rules here are the best thing I have had the good sense to follow.I made a decision to follow the rules as best I could and have not looked back.

 

To all who are second guessing the rules or themselves.I say this,they work for me and give me confidence that I am at least following a proven path to self improvement.A path to a better me.

 

Today,I will be the best me,for you!

 

REVITUP

[revitup]

Weekly update,

 

Thanksgiving has always been sort of sad time for me.

 

My dad died on Thanksgiving day,1994.

At the same time,1994 my fiance was caught, with my business partner.

Business partner was pimping her out for $300.00 per hour.(Wasn't worth that!)

My business partner got me for $93,000.00 in 1994.

 

Anyway,it was a rough Thanksgiving in 1994.I overcame that situation and married my new STBXWW in 1995

 

18 yrs later I find myself here.

 

I spoke with my DD14 Thanksgiving morning and she said this "It will be the first Thanksgiving that we aren't going to be with PAPA J!"... That is my brother and we always visited my brother on Thanksgiving and Christmas...my brother and I, are the only family we have from our original folks.

 

This kind of made me think a little..my STBXWW has done this to us all.

 

It is what it is.It's just that things change and we all must accept this.

 

Anyway,STBXWW calls now and then,only to speak of the new jobs and different events she is now checking out.I am always supportive and enthusiastic about her "new" projects.Always happy.

 

When talking with STBXWW the other night ,I noticed that EVERY time I start to talk about ANYTHING which I am accomplishing,STBXWW has to immediately get off the phone!

 

It appears that ,STBXWW does not want to hear any success stories about me at all.I think it's funny.

 

Again,it is what it is.

 

All is well with me.I hope all had a great Thanksgiving.

 

I have much to be thankful for this year.

 

REVITUP

[Radu]

When talking with STBXWW the other night ,I noticed that EVERY time I start to talk about ANYTHING which I am accomplishing,STBXWW has to immediately get off the phone!

 

It appears that ,STBXWW does not want to hear any success stories about me at all.I think it's funny.

 

You can use this in the future to have her end calls.

 

I love how aware you have become with her antics, in no-time she will even do tricks at your command ... like with all ppl you just have to learn the proper buttons to push.

[revitup]

Radu,Thank you,You are right.I have been out of the fog now for a few months and understanding things seems almost too easy.

 

Latest update, I will be picking up my DD14 in a week for her Christmas break.I will have her for two weeks (entire Christmas break) and I am excited.

 

Funny thing is that the STBXWW has asked me to spend the night at her new house (5 hours away from me) when I travel to pick up our DD14 in a week.She says it would be better than turning around and driving 5 hours back home!!!Thinking of my safety?

 

Well, she didn't "care" this much about my well being when she left me without any notice.Why now?

 

Anyway,this will not happen.I am doing great and have no intention of being twisted into knots all over again with the BOOTY game.

 

Funny how things change.

[2sunny]

Radu,Thank you,You are right.I have been out of the fog now for a few months and understanding things seems almost too easy.

 

Latest update, I will be picking up my DD14 in a week for her Christmas break.I will have her for two weeks (entire Christmas break) and I am excited.

 

Funny thing is that the STBXWW has asked me to spend the night at her new house (5 hours away from me) when I travel to pick up our DD14 in a week.She says it would be better than turning around and driving 5 hours back home!!!Thinking of my safety?

 

Well, she didn't "care" this much about my well being when she left me without any notice.Why now?

 

Anyway,this will not happen.I am doing great and have no intention of being twisted into knots all over again with the BOOTY game.

 

Funny how things change.

 

Have her drive and meet you half way - 2-1/2 hour meetup.

[Radu]

Radu,Thank you,You are right.I have been out of the fog now for a few months and understanding things seems almost too easy.

 

Latest update, I will be picking up my DD14 in a week for her Christmas break.I will have her for two weeks (entire Christmas break) and I am excited.

 

Funny thing is that the STBXWW has asked me to spend the night at her new house (5 hours away from me) when I travel to pick up our DD14 in a week.She says it would be better than turning around and driving 5 hours back home!!!Thinking of my safety?

 

Well, she didn't "care" this much about my well being when she left me without any notice.Why now?

 

Anyway,this will not happen.I am doing great and have no intention of being twisted into knots all over again with the BOOTY game.

 

Funny how things change.

 

The other 2 times when she left could be considered push-pull games which can be very powerfull on the mind of those that they are being played.

Since you decided you had enough after this time's 'push', she is now desperately trying to get you back with a 'pull' game.

And as you clearly pointed out some pages back, she is down to using your daughter as bait for the 'pull' game.

 

You said your older daughter seems to be aware of what her mother is doing to you, but from the sound of things tbh ... it seems like she is enabling a little as well.

I'm curious, did she view you as her dad when she grew up ?

[revitup]

2sunny-Two hour half-way is excellent and exactly what I plan to do this Friday.

 

Radu-Yes,our older daughter has always considered me as DAD.I never said the " mine yours and ours" thing.Just these are our kids.She actually went everywhere with me,she was one of the best offshore sport fishermen I know of at age 14!

 

You are correct about the push-pull game.Not sure what her motivations are,just that I no longer choose to play.

 

I realize,that to some, my comments may seem as though I am cold and distant,nothing could be further from the truth.I really do care about this woman,just not in the same way anymore.