Radu Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 (edited) revitup, i'm so happy that you got DD14 from that environment. A while back i asked about DD21, because i found it odd that she would help her mom so willingly even though she viewed her as in the wrong. The normal instinct would be to separate herself from her, or well ... her actions did not match her words, or your picture of her. Should have pushed to put this in writing in the thread back then ... she will most likely become like her mom. Still, you got DD14 out of this, the law is on your side and she will most likely have a nice life. I wish i had her brains at that age, i was very very dumb. To make such a decision at her age, to have that ammount of clarity, congrats as a parent. Listen to Downtown on his last post as well, PD's can never be trusted with deals. Any situation that is not win-lose [with them winning], seems to them like a huge loss and they are subject to mood swings often [win-win is viewed by them like a loss]. Downtown, interesting statistics about strippers, and about the length of the normal relationship with a BPD. Edited January 2, 2013 by Radu 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 2, 2013 Author Share Posted January 2, 2013 Radu you were also right on the money about the DD21 at the time you posted that warning question,I knew what you were asking and I took it to heart.My DD14 says that DD22 now drinks with STBXWW and uses DD14 as the baby sitter.DD22 is married to 52 yr old disabled check drawing skum bucket with a child by his sorry azz and one by a a 25 yr old.She threw away her college ride and School of Science and Technology scholarships in 10th grade,this was after I went to SC and hunted her down and brought her back here.They all can look at STBXWW's mother and see the pattern ahead of them,except my DD14 thank God. The STBXWW was always befriending DD22 at the time and not allowing me to discipline her at all.We see now how that worked out. Downtown,I have no doubt that the PDer will change on a dime....it's to be expected at this point.I do not trust her at all.She just called DD14 1 hr ago and all she said was "do ya'll have the dog with you and are you excited about starting school"?She acts as though this is all normal and doesn't even talk to DD14 about her abandoning the fight for DD14! I hope STBXWW reaps what she has sown. Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 Update,I carried my DD14 to her 1st regular Psych Doc appt yesterday,she was strong and told the truth according to the Dr.The Dr called me into the mix after a while and we all had a joint session.DD14 gave even more information in this meeting.Through it all I remained very cool and supportive somehow. It's painful and angering to hear the awful things my DD14 has seen and experienced in a short period of time by this evil hussy of a mom she has been dealt. You might notice my anger a little,I think I might be going back through that Anger stage in the 5 stages of grief.I don't know if that is normal or not but it is happening.I asked the Dr (She is my Dr too-ADHD) how I was able to hold my peace for these last two weeks.She says I went on auto-pilot the moment my DD14 started telling me about the events in her life with the STBXWW.My belief is that prayer and God are the real reason.I should not be this calm. We will be going to the Family Dr today for a physical and check-up.We are writing our "safety plan".We are writing our goals,short term and long term.We are making it happen together. Also,STBXWW called me last night to "check in on DD14".I told STBXWW that DD14 needs some things packed and sent here by UPS.STBXWW says "like what"?What mother doesn't know that a little girl needs her clothes,pictures,shoes,games and necessities?It doesn't matter though,I will get her all new stuff and just move on.I never said a word.STBXWW immediately "had to go".This is her pattern,ask a question and that get's her right off the phone!Others here told me I could use this to get off the silly phone calls with her and they were right,good strategy. Now,I have been doing a little light reading on "distortion campaigns-BPD" and wow,I could have written the articles myself.They are so crazy that only a person who has been victimized by these devils can even understand these campaigns.They are evil and very well played. Anyway,today is a new day and I only hope that this evil woman never comes around again to try and get back into my life or to destroy my life.I can't figure that one out just yet.It appears that they just keep coming to destroy you until the end from my reading so far.Maybe it will be different with her being 5 hours away and given up on the court battle without a battle. My fear is that when her new "relationships" fall apart,and they will,she will come back here.I am preparing for a battle even though she says she is done. God is good and my DD14 is very happy,that's all that matters this morning. REVITUP Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I think you've more than a good handle on things ~ it certainly shines trough in your posts. And it would seem that the DD14 does as well ~ and that she seems to be catching her second wind by being with her Dad up in "North Click" Not sure which part of NC your in ~ sounds like you might be on the coast (Not asking ~ just a conversation part) I've spend quite a bit of time in the Carolinas via Camp Lejeune and Parris Island! Love the Carolinas and Coastal GA! Good people throughout! I'm sure the DD14 will love it, and that you will both have and get a new lease on life. Frogmore Stew! Brunsiwick Stew, Low Country cooking, Eastern North Carolina Style BBQ, Myrytle Beach, Fishing, "Shagging!" Beach music! Top Sail Beach, Surf City, Hunters Island, :love: :love: (Shhhhhhh!!!! Not too many of those damned Yankees have read nor heard about such!) I only ask that you make her a Tar Heel Basketball fan AND an University of Alabama football fan! Rooooolllllll Tide! :laugh: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 My favorite part is central NC where you find High Point, Hickory, and Blowing Rock. They sit at the center of the furniture capital of the country. Great furniture and warm, friendly people! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Hi Rev! Like others have commented you and DD14 are on the right track, and importantly in a safe place to continue healing. Like Gunny and Downtown, I find North Carolina beautiful having spent quite a bit of time there for work. My absolute favorite is Asheville and the coast line that hasn't been exploited and over run by tourist. You commented that you are surprised by your of level of calmness; as you learn more about the negative side effects DD14 and you experienced from the relationship w/STBXW.... Actually, I find it quite normal in that you have finally (yay!!) regained CONTROL of this hot mess; and have ceased REACTING to the antics of STBXW. Wow what huge milestone for you both, it takes such courage to let go of the happy family you wanted soooooo desperately and become truly healthy. Congratulations...Joy...Let the good time roll! Thankfully, I too can celebrate regaining my own sense of control and I must say FREEDOM rocks!!! I'm still afraid about the unknown going forward, but am working with my therapist to move on. Happy Independence Day to you and DD14! ~Mystery 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 Gunny,we live on my farm which I grew up on.No farming anymore,just woods and fields.It is about 20 minutes North of Bragg.It's a quarter mile in the woods and surrounded by woods on all sides.We also have a place at Sneads Ferry NC-5 minutes from Camp Lejune!!My son is a Marine 8yrs-tree tours in Afghanistan. Downtown,it is a great place to have grown up and now at this stage a great place for my DD14 to be safe as well.Cool state overall. Mystery2Me,It's fantastic to see you be free!Congrats,it's a little bit scary to think about the unknowns for me as well.It's even more scary to look back at the known though!It's also very exciting to think about finding someone who will appreciate the good treatment and good times at the beach. The Sneads Ferry area is exactly what you speak about as undeveloped and unexploited,it's beautiful.It's sadly growing up fast as well though.The good thing is that you get on a boat (we have many to choose from) and go to sea where you are alone all you like. I hope you and Cinnabelle had a blast in her swanky Hotel Suite for New Years !!!You have it together Mystery2Me!!! It's good to have a strong DD14 who has morals,the Dr's have given me many compliments about her strength.It's getting better everyday. The sweetest thing I could ask for, happened on New Years Day (night) .DD14 and I had said our prayers and I had tucked her into her bed.A few minutes later I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and what did I see on the mirror? DD14 had used soap to write this "I Love You Daddy Bear" with a heart drawn on the mirror as well!! Man it just doesn't get any better than that for me. REVITUP 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Gunny,we live on my farm which I grew up on.No farming anymore,just woods and fields.It is about 20 minutes North of Bragg.It's a quarter mile in the woods and surrounded by woods on all sides.We also have a place at Sneads Ferry NC-5 minutes from Camp Lejune!!My son is a Marine 8yrs-three tours in Afghanistan. Sneeds Ferry ~ Fayetville ~ I know the area well. Although my last duty station was Camp Lejeune before I retired, I lived back up towrd Richaland in the "Five, Nine, and Ten Mile" communities out by the airport and Catherine Lake. Odd as it may sound? I don't care too much for military town and like the quite of country Southern living ~ nothing but the sound of crickets and bob white quail. I like th ruaral parts of coastal Carolina(s) back off the beaten path and when the tourist haven't found out about yet! The place that I lived out in the country, 3 bedroom, 1 bath brick house, with two car carport, four massive hugh oak trees, circular drive, musgadine grape vines, fish pond, on about three acres of land ~ $300 a month with lawn care and monthly maintenance! Owner retired and moved to Vegas and basically just wanted someone to live in it ~ rather than let it sit un-occupied? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I'm proud of your courage and continued strength to DO what's right! Her Mom may be bi-polar - but to me it looks like drug and/or alcohol abuse. Keep doing well! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 5, 2013 Author Share Posted January 5, 2013 Gunny,I like being away from the actual military areas as well.Where I am now (Farm) is 25 miles from Bragg out in the country.Place at the beach is well off the beaten path as well. We always called Fayetteville,FayetteNAM!!!! Hay St was quite a place,much like Court St in Jacksonville/Lejune. I could shoot a gun in any direction here at the farm and never hit a house!Surrounded by woods and it's all ours.Very serene. I graduated HS and left immediately for Washington DC/Alexandria VA area for 15 years,just wanted to see what was out "there". I loved the learning experience and culture.I was young. Now It's great to be home.Quiet and clean.I would never like the city again.Like you,crickets are my best friend...and the owl of course. 2Sunny,yes there probably is alcohol and drugs,but since reading the BPD-Personality Disorder traits...I see them all in STBXWW.It is just pure evil.I haven't posted some of the worst findings here....yet!Just know that she is worse than what you know. The Dr's yesterday (DD14 Physical Exam) were also impressed with her courage,they also made me feel great,telling DD14 how lucky she was to have a great Dad like me.Ego stroke was needed and appreciated. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 6, 2013 Author Share Posted January 6, 2013 Update,Now it is getting even worse!My DD14 is opening up more about everything as we spend time bonding.She is coming out from the "ether" of her mom. Tonight I learn that back in Sept. as STBXWW was here collecting more of her stuff (I had it packed and ready and was very accommodating and helpful) STBXWW and DD22 actually stole one of my rifles!They wrapped it in a rug and walked it right past me.It was a rifle left here from many years ago,not really worth anything and unimportant to me.I don't even know who it belonged to before finding it in the attic years ago.I checked...it's gone.DD14 says that her mom was trying to trade it for a handgun. The problem is that DD14 tells me that STBXWW had taken the gun for protection (from me)!!!!!!I said "what"?DD14 tells me STBXWW had planned in August (week before leaving)while at STBXWW's Stepdads funeral in Va,to leave me as soon as they returned back to NC.DD14 explained that STBXWW's mother and DD22 had planned it all out. DD14 then tells me that STBXWW's aunt A and aunt B were totally against the whole "leave REVITUP" plan,they saw the lies and deception and told STBXWW she was making a mistake. STBXWW's mother and DD22 were full steam ahead.That's OK but what comes next is not OK. DD14 then tells me tonight that the two aunts walked out of this conversation because the MIL,DD22 and STBXWW were planning and plotting something very bad....their plan was,when I went to rescue my DD14 this time and or try and beg the STBXWW to come home (as I did twice before) they would shoot me!!!!This is not a joke,they actually planned it and were absolutely dead set on carrying it out.The minute I would have just shown up in that yard!!DD22 has a pistol in the bedroom according to DD14 and STBXWW would have used that rifle! God is great my friends,I will go forward with restraining orders and no contact orders.I didn't want to do those orders thinking it would stir this nut job up.I have no choice now. To some of you this may appear as a fable,to those of us dealing with mental Ex's,it's reality. REVITUP Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 More evidence on how she's mentally unstable! Alcohol and drugs will do that = make you a crazy person... You need to notify authorities so they have this info on file! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Rev, I am so sorry to hear that. Her behavior -- and that of your step-DD22 and MIL -- is downright scary. IME, bipolar does not cause such meanness and vindictiveness. It sounds like strong BPD traits (perhaps together with bipolar) got passed from one generation to the other, starting with the MIL and ending with step-DD22. I don't know what else would be causing such despicable behavior. Another possibility is strong AsPD (i.e., sociopath) traits. But I've always felt sociopaths are less likely to kill than BPDers. Although sociopaths place no value on human life, they at least are not filled with anger and are not unstable like the BPDers are. Moreover, sociopaths are more rational and thus generally are careful to avoid doing things that can put them into prison. The frightening thing about an unstable, angry BPDer is that, when splitting you black, she may perceive you to be Hitler incarnate and want to treat you accordingly. Hence, in the 15 years I lived with my BPDer exW and my bipolar-1 foster son (who was psychotic on 8 occasions), I never worried about being harmed by him. But, when I was taking showers and had my eyes shut to keep out the soap, it crossed my mind on several occasions that I was vulnerable to my exW coming at me with a knife. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Update,Now it is getting even worse!My DD14 is opening up more about everything as we spend time bonding.She is coming out from the "ether" of her mom. Tonight I learn that back in Sept. as STBXWW was here collecting more of her stuff (I had it packed and ready and was very accommodating and helpful) STBXWW and DD22 actually stole one of my rifles!They wrapped it in a rug and walked it right past me.It was a rifle left here from many years ago,not really worth anything and unimportant to me.I don't even know who it belonged to before finding it in the attic years ago.I checked...it's gone.DD14 says that her mom was trying to trade it for a handgun. The problem is that DD14 tells me that STBXWW had taken the gun for protection (from me)!!!!!!I said "what"?DD14 tells me STBXWW had planned in August (week before leaving)while at STBXWW's Stepdads funeral in Va,to leave me as soon as they returned back to NC.DD14 explained that STBXWW's mother and DD22 had planned it all out. DD14 then tells me that STBXWW's aunt A and aunt B were totally against the whole "leave REVITUP" plan,they saw the lies and deception and told STBXWW she was making a mistake. STBXWW's mother and DD22 were full steam ahead.That's OK but what comes next is not OK. DD14 then tells me tonight that the two aunts walked out of this conversation because the MIL,DD22 and STBXWW were planning and plotting something very bad....their plan was,when I went to rescue my DD14 this time and or try and beg the STBXWW to come home (as I did twice before) they would shoot me!!!!This is not a joke,they actually planned it and were absolutely dead set on carrying it out.The minute I would have just shown up in that yard!!DD22 has a pistol in the bedroom according to DD14 and STBXWW would have used that rifle! God is great my friends,I will go forward with restraining orders and no contact orders.I didn't want to do those orders thinking it would stir this nut job up.I have no choice now. To some of you this may appear as a fable,to those of us dealing with mental Ex's,it's reality. REVITUP One of the phrase words for divorce/seperation is "Crazy Time" ~ indeed there's a book about divorce by the sample title. Not that you need it now ~ because it pretty clear that you and the DD14 need to not just go through the dissolution of the marriage and relationship with the XHEX and the DD22 ~ but that you need not just an attorney buy a priest to perform a exorcism~ Clearly have gone off onto the deep end ~ and your XHEX is like mine in being very good at "fronting" in front of other people. Either you were a really, really bad man? Or the wife and the DD22 have slide off into the deep end ~ and it sounds as though it may be more of the latter than the former. Were such not the case? I don't believe the DD14 would three in NC with you. If ever there was a cry for help ~ it was from the DD14! I've always said that when we get married that we're actually marrying three different people. The person that we think we're marrying, the person that we're actually are marrying ~ and the person that comes about as a result of having married you! In your case I think we can factor into the equation the person that comes about as a result of substance abuse, getting off of their medicine, and the demons of mental illness possessing someone! :confused: :eek: You would be remiss in your duties and obligations not only as a father ~ but as human being to ever let the DD14 go back near her mother. Even when she matures to adulthood, she should do so only with extreme caution. She's just going to have to learn that Mommy t'ain't right in tha' head ~ and she can never be sure and certain if and when she's fallen off of her medication. Short answer? She needs to stay away from her an dthe DD22 and Mommy's whole family. I remember well Court Street back in the 70's! It was nothing but the Wild Wild West! It was ____________, Fight or go for your gun! Literally! :eek: :eek: :eek: When you went to a bar, they didn't ask you for your ID, they asked you what kind of knife or gun you were carrying ~ and if you didn't have one they would loan you one from the house! :laugh: Kids today tell me about some local beer joint, and I just laugh! :lmao: They have NO idea! None! Marine Gen Al Gray took over 2nd Marine Division and told the "Founding Fathers" to clean it up or else! They blew him off, and so he put the entire town of Jacksonville off limits to any and all military personnel for about three months or so! If you were military and got caught out in "Tha Ville" so much as buying gas? The MP's and SP's were on you like a pack of dogs on a sick three legged cat! By comparisson to what it was, Jacksonville is today more akin to an Amish community! Back in "tha' day? It was more like the gold rush town that Marshall Tucker Band sangs about in "Fire On The Mountain!" (My ALL TIME FAVORTIE BAND! :love: :love: ~ but being from up around Fayettvile? You wouldn't know anything about them! :laugh: ) Getting back to the XHEX? I don't see where you've got any choice BUT to notify the authorties. Of course its a little bit too late to report the actual theft, but you need to let the authorties in SC and NC know ~ just in case you wake up dead one day ~ they'll know where to begin the investigation? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 (edited) Go to the police now. Give the name of the aunts; the fact that they were plotting this is a crime in itself. The aunts are most likely not going to back up her story because they themselves can be implicated. At the very least, the woman has no permit for the firearm. Another thing, BPD are known for being capable of playing the victim [he abused me officer] and arranging the murder of their spouse. And when they can't do that and there is a custody battle that they are losing, they will even kill their children to stop the guy from winning. I'm not saying that all of them do this [obviously not], but they are inclined to do this. You need to get yourself protected right now, and to show the authorities what they are capable and up to. Once this is in the open, they will most likely stop it. If you go the authorities, this would normally not fly, because it turns into a he/she said during a D with kids. But you have your daughter backing you up, their history of drug abuse, and the documented proof of what happened to her. You have a case. PS: Also get a dog, cameras, change the locks, sensors and such. It will help you sleep better, and your DD14 as well. Add a security system too, or replace the old one [or at least change the code]. Have the camera's linked to a DVR that uploads footage to another location, that of a friend. Go for a HDD that can store 3-4 weeks worth of footage and have the camera's set up for motion. Edited January 6, 2013 by Radu 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 6, 2013 Author Share Posted January 6, 2013 I agree with all of you here,I haven't even told the worst parts because I didn't know until 2 days ago. Read between the lines on this....Dr's can't tell anything that a DD14 tells them to keep confidential,unless DD14 is currently in harm's way!!!!This sux big time.Parents have no right to know about morning after pills or birth control etc. Let's say that a Dr tells a father "you can pick up the records from this visit after 9am Jan 3rd" !!!Those records would have all of the conversations between Dr and patient included in them.This information can't be disseminated between the Dr and the parent vocally,but the parent can read the transcripts after he picks them up.That happens to be the case.The healthcare laws stink for a parent! If you could imagine a little girls worst scenario at age 14 and a father's next to the worst scenario over his DD14,you will understand what I now know!Luckily there is no drug use in DD14 tests and no pregnancy or STDs. Let's just say that there a few folks who are very lucky this morning.Mr.Browning is indeed my friend and the 2nd amendment is my all time favorite. Security here at my home is tight,Revo cameras are going in next week.Also if you make the quarter mile journey up my driveway and into these woods....you either know me and are visiting or you are spotting something to steal.The latter would be unproductive. The women in STBXWW's family are screwed up,MIL,STBXWW and DD22! Knowing what I do now, I see that I actually triggered the "full blown" BPD traits in my STBXWW back in 2010.That's when I told my STBXWW that I was tired of her jealousy,lying,tearing me down,abuse,neglect of household and most importantly, I said "you are crazy,just like your mother"!I told her that day that I was divorcing her,sending her for psychological commitment and taking my DD11 away forever! She hit me and I called the police,she took off when I made the call. I waited for the cops and they said I had to go to the magistrate's office and file the warrant and the commitment order.I hesitated.This is when I learned about the "first one to the courthouse wins rule".My STBXWW had driven straight to the magistrates office and told them I had flipped out and I was suicidal!!!!! That's when I learned that in NC anyone can have anyone committed by simply saying "they are going to hurt themselves"! After my week of "evaluation" I get out of the nut house (no problem but my ADHD) and find all of my accounts drained (the ones she knew about anyway) and my utilities cut off!While there STBXWW had a restraining order and no contact done on me!I was crushed by not being able to talk to my DD14...STBXWW had went to DD14's school and picked her up to bring to my house so the DD14 could watch them arrest her daddy!I thought they were coming to arrest STBXWW. Anyway when I go to court the case is dropped,lawyer didn't have to even argue.Wife apologizes and like an IDIOT,I take her back in order to be a "family".Sex was great for a month or so...off the charts great!This didn't last long though. That was three yrs ago.I knew then that I had to get things in order and be prepared for the next time STBXWW blew a gasket.I prepared emotionally (it was the 2nd time she had left) for this day.When she left in August 2012,I wasn't surprised or hurt.I was ready and wanted out on the inside. I think by outing her to her face she did the typical BPDer scenario...went from 3-4 traits to 7-9 traits of BPD!! Gunny,yes Marshall Tucker is great!Also I have seen the Hay St boys actually cut one another with "Church Keys" I know you remember those?In Fayetteville they would send MP's if they found you out of fatigues on Hay St.They wanted to be able to just load all of the soldiers in the bar up at once and could better identify them with their fatigues. And I don't know how many times I heard "you buy me drink?"!! You CHEAP CHARLIE, by a half naked woman hanging out the door of a bar,as my HS buddies and myself walked down Hay St trying to peek into the open doors of the strip clubs (we were 14,15,16 maybe). I needed to add some humor into this post or else I fear the LUCKY one out there ,might not be lucky tomorrow.It is very hard to not do the wrong thing,which feels like the right thing. Heading to Church now,I need it. REVITUP Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Mercy! I am so very sorry for what DD14 has suffered at the hands of the STBXWW, absolutely out of order. You are an incredible strong man to resist handling this by the laws of country/farm. Good move with increasing home secruity with the pack of the rabid wolfes (STBXWW, MIL, and DD22) prowling about. Take care of yourselves and be careful! ~Mystery 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Thank you M2Me,The situation requires me to remain in control of my emotions,if I went off the rails my DD14 would suffer.That's the only reason I have not went country on their rear ends.This is very hard for me usually,but not so much of a choice in this case. Today the STBXWW sent me a text (DD14's old cell phone,which I paid for, is now off and DD14 just got her a new Droid!with a new NC number) saying she will call the DD14 later and asking how DD14 is doing.I replied that it's all good and DD14 will call later from her new Smart phone.DD14 told me she didn't want to speak to the STBXWW at the time. Later tonight (Sunday) STBXWW calls my cell and DD14 answers her call.STBXWW asks the same worn out questions about the puppies and small talk then asks DD14 "are you coming back here after you finish the school year there with your dad"? I hear my DD14 say "I will be graduating High School here with dad"! STBXWW says "well send me your new NC phone number by text" DD14 sends it.STBXWW then sends back "Do you want me to call you anymore,or are you mad with me"?DD14 sends back "why would I text you my new phone number if I didn't want you to call"? DD14 is puzzled and so am I at this point.What is STBXWW thinking?She is acting as the BPD traits predict.Like a 1st grader!Why would she even ask my DD14 if she is coming back there after this school year?Is that a story she is now giving out to save face?That dad has DD14 for part of the year and then she does? Why would she ask if DD14 is angry or if DD14 wants her to call her?This is some kind of mental game for her,even against my DD14. I am so proud of my daughter's quick answers.She isn't biting on STBXWW's mind games anymore.This will only anger STBXWW over time. REVITUP 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Rev, your DD14's quick responses sound very mature. Sounds like she is holding up remarkably well for what she's been through. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bpdr Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 My oh my, Revitup - this story has twists and turns, and seriously you are to be commended for holding up so well. For what it is worth -- mine could have very easily turned out similar, given the child entered the picture. You are staying strong here. Everything within your power to protect your daughter is imperative and you seem to be doing exactly what you must do to provide a safe and secure environment for your daughter. Reading some of the antics your STBXW has put you and your daughter through is cruel. Nothing short of abuse -- and worse! I admire your constitution and strength dealing with this situation.... Continuing to support you and yours Revitup! Cheers!! STAY STRONG! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 Thank you all for your supportive comments.They give me strength to keep going in this nightmare. No person who hasn't gone through this themselves would understand.I really don't understand it all myself. I made a decision early on to listen to the wisdom of all here who actually have been there and done that.That has turned out to be one of the very best decisions I have ever made.Your insight into the world of marriage and divorce has been invaluable in my decision making process.Thank you. Well,today my DD14 and I went to her High School to get her started over here,we had to wait for the SC High School to send the transcripts.The system is so screwed up that DD14 may not get credit for her work and grades for the 1st semester there in SC!!!This is somehow due to the schools there being "year round" vs. the normal 9 month schedule here in NC.I am fighting this battle as well.It would have little impact at the current time however would cause her to lose credits needed for college in her Senior year. Anyway today's update is that the STBXWW is calling myself and the DD14 almost every other day to "see what you guys are up to"?She is acting as though she has done no wrong in this nightmare.This is no longer a surprise to me.I have seen things that would perplex the normal person and these things seem like the expected behavior to me at this point. I am blessed with the daughter I have.Her strength and maturity is awesome. REVITUP 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 January 2 at 9:57am · God has blessed me with my daughter back in my house.I am grateful and excited about our future. Like · · Unfollow Post · Share · Promote DD14... I love you, Dad. January 2 at 11:09pm · Like Dad.... I love you sweetheart. January 3 at 8:32am · Like · 1 DD22.... · 5 mutual friends I couldn't agree with you more there Randy. You are truly blessed, not many dads get as many chances as you have. I guess the saying, "third time's the charm," is true. DD14 is so fortunate to be living with such an intelligent being and role model. I wish you both the best, and DD14 what a future you have to look forward too! I mean, just look at how well Randy is doing! You're learning from the best! Good luck, DD22 57 minutes ago via mobile · Like DD14....., you are so right. He is a good role model. He potty trained me when I was only one and a half to two years old, where as you waited until your son was four. I do have a bright future to look forward to. Dad is getting all of my doctor appointments set up, getting my school situated and not moving me to two schools in one semester. He's already taken me to two doctors appointments, has more scheduled, and has my eye appointments set up. He doesn't leave me alone at home, he always makes sure there is plenty of food to cook that isn't just a t.v. dinner. He doesn't spoil me, or call me a brat. At this rate, I will be over all of the damage caused by you and the other women on your side of the family in no time. I mean no offense to mom by this, but I know you're probably going to make it out to her like I do. You really don't need to worry about me. Seeing as you actually don't care, and you just see me as a little brat. You just worry about potty training your kids and getting them to listen to you occasionally. If you cared so much about me, then you should have showed it when I was still there. You're supposed to be the responsible mother, but no. You had me babysitting so that you could go out and get drunk acting like a teenager with mom. The doctors here have all told me I am mature beyond my years, and I guess I have you and mom to thank for that. I had to be mature, responsible, and strong while I was there, so thank you. Dad and I have no secrets from each other. We know everything that goes on. You think he sold your truck and kept the money? Well, you're dead wrong. You should ask mom about the bank accounts she made for DD30,DD25, you, and me. She dumped every single one of them for her own use. Not for our college funds, noooo. She just needed an excuse to save money for shopping for herself. You two have some serious talking to do, and I think you should get to us. Now that that's out, why don't you get to talking to mom, and leave Dad and I alone. Thanks, DD14. 15 minutes ago · Unlike · 1 Dad....DD14,you make me proud as a father and I am so very sorry that you are going through this mess.Better days are coming,I love you.DAD 7 minutes ago · Like · 1 DD14..... I love you too, Dad. 6 minutes ago · Like DD14....DD22, needs to leave us alone and cut her out. 6 minutes ago · Like DD22 · 5 mutual friends Shouldnt u b n school right now? Or home with dad? Why waste the time to message back and forth, if ur sitting in the same room? 4 minutes ago via mobile · Like DD14.... I shouldn't be in school because with how much moving mom put me through. Now, I have to wait to get back in school until next semester. I thought you were good at comprehending when you read? I guess not. You'll see in the long comment that I said Dad is "getting my school situated and not moving me to two schools in one semester". Thank you for your concern with my education, but I don't need your advice on school. I don't listen to school advice from people who dropped out for a guy. Thank you though. a few seconds ago · Like REDACTED to show no names! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted January 13, 2013 Author Share Posted January 13, 2013 Update 12 January 2013,STBXWW and her DD22 have officially gone off the rails! I will post soon.It is hard to write. Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 Rev, that sounds ominous. So sorry. Please tell us about it when you feel like writing more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 Prayers of peace and understanding to you both. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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