guys who have slept around can be the most loyal of all

[kaylan]

I think you're full of it.

 

The fact that after all your wild oat sowing the one you settled down with at 30 years of age was a ... 19 year old doesn't give much credibility to your "theory".

 

I think men are gonna cheat no matter what, because as somebody else said, men constantly desire other women. The inexperienced ones cheat as soon as someone looks their way and signals interest because they wanna catch up on what they've been missing out on. And the ones with lots of experience cheat because they get tired of the same ol', same ol' and then probably are gonna reminiscing the old days.

 

A man is only as faithful as his options.

I wont how many times your boyfriend has cheated on you then...does he have options?

And the fact that a 20 something voluntarily sleeps with me (without gifts and all that) is again inconvenient for most women, because it's a rude reminder to all other older women that men will and like to do this- if they can. And it's an ominous sign that they may be dumped once they are past their sexual prime- if they got a desireable guy w /options in the first place that is. But it's not predatory- hell she came up to me at a restaurant!Peoples' IQ are well set by the 20s (ie a girl is not smarter at 30-sure world wise, world weary etc but not smarter) So I can talk about the same tv shows with a girl my age. Wow!! Exciting- and it really offsets all her other baggage and countless relationships she's had. hahaha!

Just like cougars get rid of guys like you for fresh meat my age? llolz

Edited February 24, 2012 by kaylan

[danny in van]

I wont how many times your boyfriend has cheated on you then...does he have options?

Just like cougars get rid of guys like you for fresh meat my age? llolz

 

no cougars go for young guys cuz young guys will sleep with anything (generally speaking). So cougars get attention that older guys don't give them - cuz they're cougars!

[danny in van]

Hmm... I haven't encountered that yet. (And I'd rather not in the future). If they exist, they are very few. Also, I was mostly talking about general interest levels and dedication to a relationship (not necessarily cheating). Even the "loyal players" (it sounds like an oxymoron, lol) can get bored very easily. It doesn't mean they will cheat but it doesn't mean they're gonna have lasting relationships either. The odds are stacked against this.

 

I think you're justifying your fate of only attracting and settling with/for beta (ie 2nd choice) males. And here I am implying that they're no more faithful - likely less, if a girl would ever give them a chance- than 'alphas'.

[kaylan]

no cougars go for young guys cuz young guys will sleep with anything (generally speaking). So cougars get attention that older guys don't give them - cuz they're cougars!

You can delude yourself into believing that. Plenty of women on this board who date younger guys will tell you its because they find them more physically attractive.

 

Thats the same reason older guys like you give for dating younger women.

 

Why the double standard? I always find it funny how older guys simply assume older gals date young bucks because they cant get men their age. Fact is, only a very small amount of older men can pull young girls. So its not like older gals dont have any men to pick from.

 

Lets be real here. And men in general are easy...but a young guy who more easily has the options open to him of younger women is more of a challenge to an older woman than the older guy who doesnt have the same options.

[danny in van]

If you can't see how messed up these two sentences are, then I can't help you. Sorry.

 

Once again, inconvenient to hear I'm sure...

[danny in van]

You can delude yourself into believing that. Plenty of women on this board who date younger guys will tell you its because they find them more physically attractive.

 

Thats the same reason older guys like you give for dating younger women.

 

Why the double standard? I always find it funny how older guys simply assume older gals date young bucks because they cant get men their age. Fact is, only a very small amount of older men can pull young girls. So its not like older gals dont have any men to pick from.

 

Lets be real here. And men in general are easy...but a young guy who more easily has the options open to him of younger women is more of a challenge to an older woman than the older guy who doesnt have the same options.

 

Difference of perception here I'd say...but guys typically get bored of their old wife first and swivel towards younger women. Why? Cuz young represents fertility- and males of ALL species wanna keep getting with fertile creatures (I didn't create this- God did haha!)cuz it kinda offsets their imminent death. So older femme is spurned for younger and only place to get action is young horny males. Generalizing of course but that's what I 'see'.

[danny in van]

obviously that doesn't apply to the women you choose to settle down with...

 

never said i 'settled down' or wanted to with anyone. What a nasty overused expression!

[kaylan]

Difference of perception here I'd say...but guys typically get bored of their old wife first and swivel towards younger women. Why? Cuz young represents fertility- and males of ALL species wanna keep getting with fertile creatures (I didn't create this- God did haha!)cuz it kinda offsets their imminent death. So older femme is spurned for younger and only place to get action is young horny males. Generalizing of course but that's what I 'see'.

Oh please...Its nothing about fertility and all about ego, attraction, and proving youve still got it.

 

You act like women never do the same exact thing and bail on a marriage and go out with new younger guys. Both genders do this nowadays.

 

Cougars dont chase younger men because of what older men do. They chase them because they find them attractive. I love how older dudes try and make everything about them, with no proof of these assertions.

 

Whose word am I gonna take? The older guy or the older woman who thinks her thoughts and make her decisions.

 

Youre right...it is just what you "see". Its ego filled perception. Lets be realistic here.

[Negative Nancy]

guys typically get bored of their old wife first and swivel towards younger women. Why? Cuz young represents fertility- and males of ALL species wanna keep getting with fertile creatures (I didn't create this- God did haha!)cuz it kinda offsets their imminent death. So older femme is spurned for younger

 

and people tell me i'm cynical and jaded

[kaylan]

Also, If I wanted to use perception over reality, I could tell myself that black people are the best athletes because they dominate the NFL and NBA. And Id have obvious bias because I myself am black.

 

But Im a realist and know the reason we dominate these sports professionally is because there are more black kids playing these sports at a young age. More of them are determined to go pro and get out of their poor socioeconomic areas.

 

So perception aint jack a lot of the time.

[Woggle]

and people tell me i'm cynical and jaded

 

Women do the same thing so both genders are as bad as the other. Women initiate most divorces so men don't do this as much as you think. Confirmed bachelors do tend to date younger but men don't dump their wives for younger models nearly as much as people think.

[silvermercy]

Once again, inconvenient to hear I'm sure...

As predicted... You really can't see how messed up those words you wrote are.

[danny in van]

I had a FULL weekend seminar where psychologists from around the world came to my University during my PhD to give talks on the development of brain development, intelligence and its increase with age (save for neurodysfunctional syndromes). So, OK, go find the other hundred articles that say otherwise. I know what I heard.

 

Um... no... When I see an older guy I think the opposite: he's either trying to get into my pants or to relive his youth etc, and that would add to the creep factor. The older guys who have everything going are extremely rare, and I wonder why you put yourself in this category. You are not. Just those two sentences I quoted in my previous post would be a dealbreaker - especially the fact about older women being jaded. (Btw, you have to look like a 44 year old Brad Pitt if you want to call older women fat etc.)

 

And seriously! Can't you see the total HYPOCRICY with men and the "aging wine" metaphor!?

I put myself in that category for many reasons I've already written about - but the 'proof' is I am attracting more girls of all ages than I did in any other decade. And lotsa older men are def jaded too - but I don't care about them cuz I don't share my life with them.

About the hypocrisy of the wine thing (you mean double standard I think?) Well of course it is - but did I invent life ? No again blame God, not me! Men go for looks, fertility etc, women for status, very generally speaking. Men's status often increases w age, female looks generally decrease w age. But don't shoot the messenger!

 

And about IQ- ok u win if you like. But whatever, the girl I'm seeing is at the hi end of that spectrum already (4.2 gpa for ie), so I almost hope it doesn't keep increasing haha! Can't have her smarter than me - joking!

 

I'll tell you something- when you see a certain older guy that u can't quite peg his age due to unconventional beliefs followed; has a zeal in his eye that others don't due to some undoubtedly interesting unusual path he had the balls to see and follow, and makes you go 'hmmm he's not like the cookie cutter frat boys I go for...' then you may have to rethink what you're trying to convince yourself of.

[silvermercy]

To me it makes them more loyal because being a player teaches a man about women better than being some nice guy beta does. In my two years as a player I learned more about women and how to have a successful relationship than I did in my entire life.

 

Also when I found a great woman I don't wonder what else is out there. I know what else is out there and it pales in comparison to what I have already.

I'm sorry but once I hear the word player I run. It doesn't matter if he's a former player or not. I won't date him just as I wouldn't date a former alcoholic or a former drug addict. Non players can also succeed with women and not wonder what else is out there. God forbid if succeeding with a woman must require for all men to have a player phase. That doesn't happen most of the times.

 

:danny: Players are not necessarily alpha males. This is a myth. And there are also alpha males who are not players, contrary to common belief. Also, I have dated alpha males who were not players (and if you saw how highly picky I am in real life you would have no doubt about my selection criteria).

[Negative Nancy]

I'll tell you something- when you see a certain older guy that u can't quite peg his age due to unconventional beliefs followed; has a zeal in his eye that others don't due to some undoubtedly interesting unusual path he had the balls to see and follow, and makes you go 'hmmm he's not like the cookie cutter frat boys I go for...' then you may have to rethink what you're trying to convince yourself of.

 

I'll tell you something - when we see a certain older guy such as the one you just described (which I'm sure is a description of yourself ) ...it makes us go "hmmmm he's not like the cookie cutter frat boys I go for...but at least he seems to have a big.....wallet, so I may have to rethink my reservations about older creeps who think they still got it going"

 

[danny in van]

Oh please...Its nothing about fertility and all about ego, attraction, and proving youve still got it.

 

You act like women never do the same exact thing and bail on a marriage and go out with new younger guys. Both genders do this nowadays.

 

Cougars dont chase younger men because of what older men do. They chase them because they find them attractive. I love how older dudes try and make everything about them, with no proof of these assertions.

 

Whose word am I gonna take? The older guy or the older woman who thinks her thoughts and make her decisions.

 

Youre right...it is just what you "see". Its ego filled perception. Lets be realistic here.

 

Well I can support my claim . How about you? Read any anthropological books- and it points out that countless species do exactly what I'm describing- but somehow not what you're asserting. So you can write back 'but we're different from the rest of the animal kingdom- we can THINK etc etc'...and I'll say oh ya - I wish.

But the similarities hugely out weigh the differences.

I don't put humans much above the other animals...and there's a reason why we say' we're creatures of habit'.

So let's here how you'd 'prove ' your point. And I don't think v/recent (last 50yrs) hippie equality coffee shop idealism can counter what the whole history of mankind has revealled about us.

[danny in van]

You dated a 19 year old for 7 years, you beat the odds. (I realize she wasn't 19 all 7 of those years but you know what I mean)

 

Beta males spread rumors, you're kidding right?

 

nope I'm not kidding- betas know that 10% of the guys sleep with 90% of the girls - so they constantly try to counter with 'girls like jerks' (implying alphas are all jerks) to try to pressure girls into liking betas.

 

They can't whine 'why do girls like masculine, confident, sexual etc men'. It wouldn't have the same manipulating effect!

[silvermercy]

I put myself in that category for many reasons I've already written about - but the 'proof' is I am attracting more girls of all ages than I did in any other decade. And lotsa older men are def jaded too - but I don't care about them cuz I don't share my life with them.

About the hypocrisy of the wine thing (you mean double standard I think?) Well of course it is - but did I invent life ? No again blame God, not me! Men go for looks, fertility etc, women for status, very generally speaking. Men's status often increases w age, female looks generally decrease w age. But don't shoot the messenger!

 

And about IQ- ok u win if you like. But whatever, the girl I'm seeing is at the hi end of that spectrum already (4.2 gpa for ie), so I almost hope it doesn't keep increasing haha! Can't have her smarter than me - joking!

 

I'll tell you something- when you see a certain older guy that u can't quite peg his age due to unconventional beliefs followed; has a zeal in his eye that others don't due to some undoubtedly interesting unusual path he had the balls to see and follow, and makes you go 'hmmm he's not like the cookie cutter frat boys I go for...' then you may have to rethink what you're trying to convince yourself of.

The girl should retake her IQ test. Obviously it was "jaded" (hey, I liked that word). Also her EQ test, if she hasn't. The latter is more important in life than IQ. I predict her EQ is really small.

 

Ok, here we go about the genetics pseudoscience thing. If I hear it one more time I'm gonna puke. Not because I believe it - it ain't true obviously (sue my (male) Professors at Oxford Uni who dared to teach otherwise) but because I can't believe in this modern age there are still men like you. (Are you sure your girlfriend knows this? Have you shown her this thread? Does she agree? If she does, then excuse me while I go laugh about her ability to pick men. IQ won't save her from this).

 

(I won't blame God. I told you I'm not religious. I won't blame nature either. Simply because what you claim is 100% not true. Simples.)

Edited February 24, 2012 by silvermercy

[danny in van]

Also, If I wanted to use perception over reality, I could tell myself that black people are the best athletes because they dominate the NFL and NBA. And Id have obvious bias because I myself am black.

 

But Im a realist and know the reason we dominate these sports professionally is because there are more black kids playing these sports at a young age. More of them are determined to go pro and get out of their poor socioeconomic areas.

 

So perception aint jack a lot of the time.

 

I believe it's cuz the black slaves brought to the US were 'thoroughbreds' so to speak- of superior physical stock...and they continued to lead physical lives, thus getting stronger etc while whitey sat back in life of comfort. More black kids playing football than whites ? hell no! That's an expensive sport that excludes alot of inner city blacks...

[danny in van]

and people tell me i'm cynical and jaded

the truth can sting I agree...but at least you may as well acknowledge the 'facts'. It's similar to when peoples' religious bubble pops. It sucks to hafta acknowledge there may be no heaven - but at least you live it up while you can- without resting on illusion.

[Nightsky]

nope I'm not kidding- betas know that 10% of the guys sleep with 90% of the girls - so they constantly try to counter with 'girls like jerks' (implying alphas are all jerks) to try to pressure girls into liking betas.

 

They can't whine 'why do girls like masculine, confident, sexual etc men'. It wouldn't have the same manipulating effect!

 

I don't thinking sleeping with lots of girls even means you have more sex then a guy who has had lots of sex with one or only a few girls. I don't think more sex makes you alpha or beta. It's an imature reality to live in. Guy who call other guys jerks don't do it to spread some rumor its to make themselves feel better and it's very self destructive to feel sorry for oneself that way.

 

Women are the ones worried about being just another notch on the belt and it has nothing to do with "beta" men. I also think feminine men do best in this day and age. You dated a girl you met when you were 30's and she was a teenager. The fact that it went on over 7 years is amazing. Your thread has nothing to do with anything though.

 

The fact that you've been with a lot of women unless they were hookers only means you had plenty of oportunities to be loyal. If getting women is still easy for you what does it matter what women thing you're still getting oportunities to be loyal or not... I mean this thread is pointless.

[Ranchero44]

Guy who call other guys jerks don't do it to spread some rumor its to make themselves feel better and it's very self destructive to feel sorry for oneself that way.

 

 

I have to agree with this. "Betas" don't call "alphas" jerks because "alphas" are masculine, confident, and sexual, and the "betas" want to feel better about themselves. Guys call other guys "jerks" because for some reason science has yet to pin down women tend to gravitate toward men who treat them poorly. That is why guys call other guys jerks. Nice guys justifiably can't understand why women drool over self-centered bad boys while they (the nice guys) sit at home on a Saturday night. This is where the saying, "Nice guys finish last" comes from.

 

The whole bandying about of "alpha" and "beta" terminology doesn't sit quite right with me, anyhow. I don't know if I really believe that some men are "alphas" and some "betas". In any case, an "alpha" who brags about his sexual conquests and condescendingly accuses "betas" of basically being jealous probably deserves to be called a jerk.

[danny in van]

I don't thinking sleeping with lots of girls even means you have more sex then a guy who has had lots of sex with one or only a few girls. I don't think more sex makes you alpha or beta. It's an imature reality to live in. Guy who call other guys jerks don't do it to spread some rumor its to make themselves feel better and it's very self destructive to feel sorry for oneself that way.

 

Women are the ones worried about being just another notch on the belt and it has nothing to do with "beta" men. I also think feminine men do best in this day and age. You dated a girl you met when you were 30's and she was a teenager. The fact that it went on over 7 years is amazing. Your thread has nothing to do with anything though.

 

The fact that you've been with a lot of women unless they were hookers only means you had plenty of oportunities to be loyal. If getting women is still easy for you what does it matter what women thing you're still getting oportunities to be loyal or not... I mean this thread is pointless.

 

feminine men do best hahah! omg that's funny- can't even respond. Anyway I was just responding to question about betas 'spreading rumours'. And yes I think they do- just as average girls like to gossip that the beautiful girls are either stupid or bitches. Happens all the time- I just pointing it out.

So most single guys are sexually frustrated (ie what they want they can't get) so they gossip/try to discredit the 10% that do get what they want. Untrue?

[danny in van]

As predicted... You really can't see how messed up those words you wrote are.

 

hard for females to read is what I'm trying to say. But this is like telling a Muslim 'there's no 70 virgins in heaven for you you idiot!'

They don't wanna hear it!

[danny in van]

I'm sorry but once I hear the word player I run. It doesn't matter if he's a former player or not. I won't date him just as I wouldn't date a former alcoholic or a former drug addict. Non players can also succeed with women and not wonder what else is out there. God forbid if succeeding with a woman must require for all men to have a player phase. That doesn't happen most of the times.

 

:danny: Players are not necessarily alpha males. This is a myth. And there are also alpha males who are not players, contrary to common belief. Also, I have dated alpha males who were not players (and if you saw how highly picky I am in real life you would have no doubt about my selection criteria).

 

Agreed- cuz as in any game there are bad ineffective players. Or I know some 'players' who think they're cool cuz they bed lotsa girls - but they're all ugly girls! So no victory there. And 'alphas' 'players' etc- of course these terms are not an exact science .