guys who have slept around can be the most loyal of all

[PJKino]

Just about everyone realizes that celebs are not a representation of your average person. Celebs will get together with/marry other celebs for the power and attention. It's definitely not for love.....except in a few very rare cases.

 

Theyre were hundreds of women tweeting during the grammys that Chris Brown can beat them anyday

 

If you're good looking and famous u can get away with a lot

[Engadget]

Theyre were hundreds of women tweeting during the grammys that Chris Brown can beat them anyday

 

If you're good looking and famous u can get away with a lot

 

Yeah that was disgusting.

[dreamingoftigers]

I have never met a high-number man that has stayed loyal to a long-term spouse, including the man I married.

 

The high number reflected a pattern of being unattached to those he shared the intimate act with. He is going for a lot of help now, but it took years and a very blunt separation as well as other consequences for him to go.

 

Some people get hooked on the novelty (something I too can relate to). Others get satiated with the bond. Both genders are quite capable of feeling the bond and being satiated by it.

 

I would wonder what OP's pre-sexual history would look like, although I have a pretty good idea.

[Negative Nancy]

I have never met a high-number man that has stayed loyal to a long-term spouse [...]

 

The high number reflected a pattern of being unattached to those he shared the intimate act with.

 

Some people get hooked on the novelty

 

A partner with low numbers is not a guarantee for monogamy and loyalty either. Many of them might wonder what it feels like to F someone else, and many also have lingering validation issues and feel like they missed out on sowing their oats and having sex with the hotties, so if another woman signals interest, they might act on it as well.

 

The bottom line is, with men you can never feel safe and secure, tons of sad tales on this forum and elsewhere are witnesses of this. The best thing to do is not getting too attached emotionally and giving your all to man.

 

it is clear that people are having a problem practicing it especially these days.

 

This is the sad truth.

[Pyro]

Theyre were hundreds of women tweeting during the grammys that Chris Brown can beat them anyday

 

If you're good looking and famous u can get away with a lot

 

and thank God that those type are in the minority....otherwise I would be as scared and bitter as Woggle.

[dreamingoftigers]

A partner with low numbers is not a guarantee for monogamy and loyalty either. Many of them might wonder what it feels like to F someone else, and many also have lingering validation issues and feel like they missed out on sowing their oats and having sex with the hotties, so if another woman signals interest, they might act on it as well.

 

The bottom line is, with men you can never feel safe and secure, tons of sad tales on this forum and elsewhere are witnesses of this. The best thing to do is not getting too attached emotionally and giving your all to man.

 

 

 

This is the sad truth.

 

Of course there is risk in everyone. I think that the lowest risk would be in finding someone who retains a lower number by choice, by moral stance and by character. As well as someone who believes sex is an expression of intimacy, not just recreation or "having a good time." or getting "a need fulfilled."

[danny in van]

I have never met a high-number man that has stayed loyal to a long-term spouse, including the man I married.

 

The high number reflected a pattern of being unattached to those he shared the intimate act with. He is going for a lot of help now, but it took years and a very blunt separation as well as other consequences for him to go.

 

Some people get hooked on the novelty (something I too can relate to). Others get satiated with the bond. Both genders are quite capable of feeling the bond and being satiated by it.

 

I would wonder what OP's pre-sexual history would look like, although I have a pretty good idea.

 

You have a good idea about my pre sexual history? What a talent - to be able to know my history though I haven't said a word about it. You must be able to pick stocks well too and must be rich cuz of it...Anyway, let's hear my pre sex history. If you're correct I will admit it and reflect upon the fact that my scenario is actually not unique.

[danny in van]

Of course there is risk in everyone. I think that the lowest risk would be in finding someone who retains a lower number by choice, by moral stance and by character. As well as someone who believes sex is an expression of intimacy, not just recreation or "having a good time." or getting "a need fulfilled."

 

how is it 'immoral' to have sex if the other person is as willing as you are to do it? And same goes for 'character'. I think you're misusing those words and are wrongly giving yourself credit as 'moral' and one with 'character'. To be accurate, you just like one partner. But it's not a moral/character issue.

[danny in van]

Of course there is risk in everyone. I think that the lowest risk would be in finding someone who retains a lower number by choice, by moral stance and by character. As well as someone who believes sex is an expression of intimacy, not just recreation or "having a good time." or getting "a need fulfilled."

 

Hard to say- because it's impossible to know if people have a lower # 'by choice' or if that is rationalization. They might claim it is choice, but are actually following a 'moral code' from societal pressure. ie they've been made to believe it's immoral to sleep around - but there is inner subconscious psych conflict going on.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Well, I just visited this thread after reading your other one. I have a couple of comments.

 

1) I certainly CAN understand the mind of a man, if I know him well enough. I think I have a very deep understanding with how my husband's mind works, for example. He would back me on that. I don't believe that all men's minds work alike. Certainly, "male" and "female" sexuality exist, but how one acts upon their sexuality varies greatly between individuals.

 

2) A guy who has slept around can be loyal. I don't think YOU are loyal, though, so it's odd that you decided to start this thread,

 

3) Evo Psyche as practiced by people who want to justify whatever is not even worth bothering with.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Hi, this is not a question, but me putting forth a much needed perspective. Many will like to assume that a guy with high #s of girls in his past will be more likely to cheat in a relationship. I say that's a lazy cliche, and it's spread around by 'beta' guys to discredit the guy who is popular with girls. Once I hit my 30s I found the greatest girl and was with her and completely loyal for 7 yrs. She left me cuz I was her first guy and she had to 'spread her wings' (she was 19 when we met).

So here's my point: BECAUSE my curiosity and appetite were previously satisfied (20s were very hedonistic, guilt free, and prolific) I was happily monogomous with her. Ladies, beware the 'nice guy' who try to personify loyalty. Because most guys I know haven't come close to fulfilling their 'bucket list' (sorry for crudeness, but ya know what I mean) so they WILL orWANT to if they could ever get away with it!

I see beautiful girls when in a relationship, but I don't have to 'have them' because I've experienced that. So I'm loyal as a swan- assuming the girl I'm with has her act together, and is fit, cute, fun, uncomplicated, normal, litehearted, kind etc.

Comments?

 

So if she lacks these qualities you won't be loyal?

 

Here is what I see from the party animal guys who are now married and working with me. THEY ARE BORED. My buddy Dave was insanely popular with women. He is married with 3 kids now... and spends at least 3 days a month in a strip club.

 

Look, it's just human nature. Guys with low numbers like 1 or 2 are always going to be tempted to try something different. I'm sure women are the same. Guys with high numbers like 30 or 40... are going to really struggle to give up that lifestyle.

[danny in van]

So if she lacks these qualities you won't be loyal?

 

Here is what I see from the party animal guys who are now married and working with me. THEY ARE BORED. My buddy Dave was insanely popular with women. He is married with 3 kids now... and spends at least 3 days a month in a strip club.

 

Look, it's just human nature. Guys with low numbers like 1 or 2 are always going to be tempted to try something different. I'm sure women are the same. Guys with high numbers like 30 or 40... are going to really struggle to give up that lifestyle.

 

well I'm not guessing here- I have successfully given up that lifestyle - for 7 yrs once- for 4 yrs once. It wasn't hard because I knew I was with a great girl. And I knew because I've had many comparison points. And yes my loyalty will fade and I wouldn't commit in the first place if the girl is not living a dynamic, energetic life and is fit and cute. Do I think a girl will or should stay with me if I take up drugs, lose my job, get fat ? Hell no!!!

[danny in van]

Well, I just visited this thread after reading your other one. I have a couple of comments.

 

1) I certainly CAN understand the mind of a man, if I know him well enough. I think I have a very deep understanding with how my husband's mind works, for example. He would back me on that. I don't believe that all men's minds work alike. Certainly, "male" and "female" sexuality exist, but how one acts upon their sexuality varies greatly between individuals.

 

2) A guy who has slept around can be loyal. I don't think YOU are loyal, though, so it's odd that you decided to start this thread,

 

3) Evo Psyche as practiced by people who want to justify whatever is not even worth bothering with.

 

you can't know for sure if your husband is feeding you what you want to hear- or not. Sorry. Confessions from tortured prisoners are thrown out in courts- why? Cuz it's understood they said what their captor wanted to hear to avoid further punishment. Concept is parallel and same. Sucks to hear this I'm sure...

[Untouchable_Fire]

well I'm not guessing here- I have successfully given up that lifestyle - for 7 yrs once- for 4 yrs once. It wasn't hard because I knew I was with a great girl. And I knew because I've had many comparison points. And yes my loyalty will fade and I wouldn't commit in the first place if the girl is not living a dynamic, energetic life and is fit and cute. Do I think a girl will or should stay with me if I take up drugs, lose my job, get fat ? Hell no!!!

 

Seriously? Dynamic, fit, cute, energetic.... wait until she is taking care of your kids.

 

Honestly, the stress of children and marriage is pretty intense. You feel like a pressure cooker ready to blow... your wife is tired as hell and you havn't seen her in makeup for 5 months. She spends her time chasing the kids around... doesn't have time for the gym... ect. Then some pretty little thing at work comes along.

 

I know this sounds far fetched to you... but I see guys like you go through this every day.

[Mme. Chaucer]

you can't know for sure if your husband is feeding you what you want to hear- or not. Sorry. Confessions from tortured prisoners are thrown out in courts- why? Cuz it's understood they said what their captor wanted to hear to avoid further punishment. Concept is parallel and same. Sucks to hear this I'm sure...

 

Yes, it is kind of disheartening to be faced with such an ignorant and jaded perspective on such a lovely morning.

 

Some day, you might experience a very strong, loving, mutually supportive, communicative, fun, understanding relationship. Unless that day ever comes for you, I see how you can't begin to wrap your mind around the concept of what that would be like.

[danny in van]

I have a feeling OP never wants to get married or have kids. He is a Playboy or Bachelor and dates younger women. He doesn't seem to want the domestic life with kids. Nothing wrong with that; I detest the "married with kids" life myself.

 

no I would like that - but only if the relationship is right and tight and strong etc.

Surely from all my thoughts rooted in evo psychology you'd assume that I too want to create an 'heir' to my throne?

And if my girl were raising children or pregnant I'm not so insensitive to recognize that that is a huge exception and 'normal' routines go out the window.

But my 'type' is the momma that gets her shape back after. Few can do that (involves intense discipline of course) but that is what I have and what I admire.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Few can do that (involves intense discipline of course) but that is what I have and what I admire.

 

Wait … didn't you just make it very clear on your other thread that you don't have a girlfriend? Now you have one?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Are guys who sleep around in a van more loyal than guys who sleep around in motels and bedrooms?

[danny in van]

Yes, it is kind of disheartening to be faced with such an ignorant and jaded perspective on such a lovely morning.

 

Some day, you might experience a very strong, loving, mutually supportive, communicative, fun, understanding relationship. Unless that day ever comes for you, I see how you can't begin to wrap your mind around the concept of what that would be like.

 

I must say it again - logically your husband must say he only thinks of you. Why would he admit otherwise? What does he have to gain by brutal honesty? What does he have to lose? Alot. I`m not saying he cheats. But only a large ego mixed with typical insecurity would let someone think a man doesn't have fantasies about other women.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't ask him whether he thinks only of me, so "logically" he must not say any such thing. He's free to think about whatever he likes. I'm not threatened if he has sexual thoughts about another woman, that's his business.

 

I know who I'm married to, though. He is not a man who is comparing me to some fantasy ideal he harbors. Both of us know that we are very fortunate to have one another and he benefits greatly in many ways from the relationship, as do I. We're grateful and try to express it in the way we live.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Are guys who sleep around in a van more loyal than guys who sleep around in motels and bedrooms?

 

Sleeping around in Vans? Isn't that a bit child molesterish?

[dreamingoftigers]

It obviously stands for VANcouver.

 

VANCOUVER.

 

Seconded,

 

Most Canadians know this.

 

Like calling Toronto "T O."

 

Or Calgary "Cow Town."

 

I'm surprised Regina hasn't come up with a nickname yet.

I've only noticed that it smells like it sounds.

[danny in van]

Sleeping around in Vans? Isn't that a bit child molesterish?

 

haha the personal attacks are becoming even more desperate. I guess that's what you do when you have no more credible points to make. Go look up argumentum ad hominem - 2000 yrs ago there were people smarter than you (!) as they saw and pointed out how the dim witted use personal attacks when logic and smarts have failed them.

[Mme. Chaucer]

haha the personal attacks are becoming even more desperate. I guess that's what you do when you have no more credible points to make. Go look up argumentum ad hominem - 2000 yrs ago there were people smarter than you (!) as they saw and pointed out how the dim witted use personal attacks when logic and smarts have failed them.

 

Oh, you mean like the way you just used "dim witted" (it's not the first time, either)? Great example of how the dim witted use personal attacks. Very clever.

 

Okay, Van Man, I am sure there is no more point in carrying on with you. Bye.

[lino]

Don't know about them being loyal. Most guys who have slept around a lot like that habit. I do know that guys who sleep around a lot are the types that are most desired by women.