Fiance cheated and I punched but is he right to get mad

[Ross MwcFan]

physical violence is understandable? because she is a woman, right?

 

but ya, its no big deal, she just, as she said, punched him as hard as she could and drew blood. not a big deal:rolleyes:

 

Yup, that's right.

[warmachine01]

I was with you until the last sentence. I get it, I really do. But it is only socially acceptable because we accept it as such, and many are no longer accepting it. Look at the outcry against Amber from Teen Mom on MTV. While the OP's example is not nearly as bad, to the law as you mentioned, it doesn't matter.

 

Socially speaking, though it seems ridiculous now, women have only been able to vote in the last century. Same with being able to have a safe and maintainable workplace where sexual harassment isn't the norm rather the deviation. Woman are just now really pushing the borders of active duty in the Military. It would be easy for those in power to not change a thing, as it would be to their benefit only, but where would that leave us. There are many other examples, but long story short, social mores are constantly changing. You can look at this board for example and see both men and women agreeing on the issue of non-violence. Twenty year ago the answers would have been different. Thirty, even more so. We should all realize when an idea becomes outdated and look to resolve it. Perpetuation only favors those who benefit from it, of course.

Edited August 2, 2011 by warmachine01

[Els]

Good of you to say so

 

 

 

 

No I did not

 

 

 

And I was pointing out that it is possible for a woman to kill a man therefore the potential risks are very high. Unlikely yes but still real risks.

 

 

 

 

Seeing as the thread topic is about women hitting a man, I am not sure why you are bringing in children hitting adults.

 

 

 

 

 

I don't condone men hitting men, women or children. I don't condone women hitting men, women, children. I also don't condone children hitting other children or adults.

 

You still missed the entire point of the post. I don't see how anyone with a reasonable reading comprehension could miss the fact that my statement of a child hitting a woman was intended as an analogy to a woman hitting a man. I'm sorry, but I really don't.

 

If your sole point is that no one should be hitting anyone, and that anyone can possibly kill anyone else through an act of violence, then yes, we are in agreement.

 

I still stand in direct opposition to the poster whom I quoted initially, in that I do not think a woman hitting a man is the exact same thing as a man hitting a woman. Seeing that you immediately posted your link while quoting me, I assumed that you were refuting that, and hence my reply. Otherwise why is the link relevant to my post at all? I already said that she should not have done what she did.

[Memphis Raines]

NOPE! I'd wanna kill the bastard myself:laugh:

 

exactly. sexism and double standards at its finest.

 

 

Men do not hit woman

\

 

wrong, nobody hits NOBODY. you do know how the law works right?

 

physical violence is not acceptable, man on woman, woman on man, etc.

 

 

...unless she is coming after him with a gun lol...woman are allowed a little love tap in these situations;)

 

no, they aren't. women aren't allowed to hit a man any more than a man can hit a woman.

 

again, sexism, feminism, take your pick.

 

 

Any man that cries assult(oh cop dude, my fiance punched me in the face because I was f'cin another chick! I wanna press charges....she's insane!!!)

 

 

well I got another good one for you. if woman hits a man, guess what, according to the law, he has a right to fight back in defense.

 

so which would you rather have?

 

what would I do? if a woman slapped me, I'd have the right to restrain her, but I wouldn't call the cops.

 

but I'd just end up telling her to get the F out and never come back.

 

but thanks for bringing your sexism and double standards to the surface.

[Memphis Raines]

nevermind, not worth it

Edited August 2, 2011 by Memphis Raines

[Memphis Raines]

Yup, that's right.

 

well if someone ever punches you in the mouth and draws blood, just sit there and take it then buddy.

[Memphis Raines]

Also morrally speaking, a woman hitting a man is a heck of a lot more acceptable than a man hitting a woman.

 

its not acceptable.....PERIOD

[anne1707]

I still stand in direct opposition to the poster whom I quoted initially, in that I do not think a woman hitting a man is the exact same thing as a man hitting a woman. Seeing that you immediately posted your link while quoting me, I assumed that you were refuting that, and hence my reply. Otherwise why is the link relevant to my post at all? I already said that she should not have done what she did.

 

I refute the idea that a woman hitting a man is not the same thing as a man hitting a woman. It is exactly the same thing. It is violence. It is abuse. It is dangerous. It can kill.

[HeavenOrHell]

Violence is never ok in my book, sure I've felt like hitting people, but I've enough self restraint not to, and I'd feel extremely ashamed if I did, I wouldn't want my anger to be out of control like that.

I don't agree with double standards, I'm not a feminist as such, more of an equalist, so it would be wrong of me to say it's ok to hit a man but not a woman, even if most women are physically weaker than men.

 

 

 

A man punching a woman in the face is just a bit different than a woman punching a man in the face.

 

Think about the size and strength difference.

[Ross MwcFan]

well if someone ever punches you in the mouth and draws blood, just sit there and take it then buddy.

 

Nice to see that you mentioned what context it's in.

 

If you're talking about a woman hitting me because I cheated on her, then I'd take it like a man, because it'd be my own fault, and I'd think 'well, you can't really blame her'.

 

What, you expect me to ring the police, or hit her back? Pathetic.

 

If you're talking about someone just coming up to me and punching me for no reason, whether it's a man or a woman, then of course I wouldn't take it.

Edited August 3, 2011 by Ross MwcFan

[lino]

It's yet another double standard that in society it is more acceptable for a woman to hit a man.

I'd never, ever hit a woman and I'd never, ever accept a woman hitting me.

Violence is bad coming from either gender and I wish this would become the normal way of thinking.

 

He was a piece of sh*t for cheating on you. By hitting him like that you joined him in the toilet bowl and he is right to walk away & not look back.

[Ginger Beer]

Women hit men more than they hit other women, this is because they assume men won't hit them back, because 'it's wrong' - why? 'It just is'.

 

Can someone post some reasons why it's wrong for a man to hit a woman more than it is if he hits another man?

 

Personally, if I was hit by a woman, I'd punch her back, she'd never hit another man again. You can't treat other people like that, it is not right and it should not go unpunished, if you just leave it she will hit another man.

 

However, if I cheated on my hypothetical girlfriend and she punched me, I'd take it because I'm in the wrong, but not because she's female.

[StoneCold]

He cheated on you...you assaulted him.

 

Both wrong....

 

But just know that what he did isnt a criminal offense...what you did is. You can take that for whatever its worth and be glad you are a woman that can take advantage of the double standard as it applies to violence between the genders......becasue if the genders were switched you would be up sh*t creek

[Charismatic]

Thank you for your inputs even though some of you disagreed with what I did. I know it was wrong but it was a one-time error in judgement. I couldn't really think straight upon finding out what he did.

 

All of the sudden it felt as if I had drank acid on my throat and then a kick in the stomach. I couldn't believe what I was dealing with. It just couldn't be.

 

BTW I have never in my life ever hit a man. This is really my first time as I'm not really those types of women who hits just to hit, without expecting them to hit back (this is a risky move but this time I couldn't think at all). I just realized it was wrong what I did but he got me on a really aweful position. After he left I just started crying for some minutes till I could manage to pull myself again. Everyone now knows what type of loser he is. I even told his parents about it and they were comforting. They are shocked their son would do this and even told me the punch was deserving.

 

I'm about to pawn the ring sometime today. I'm moving on with my life now and hopefully I'll learn to trust again. I feel I can't trust at this point.

[Els]

I refute the idea that a woman hitting a man is not the same thing as a man hitting a woman. It is exactly the same thing. It is violence. It is abuse. It is dangerous. It can kill.

 

Then please answer my question, that I asked before: Is a child hitting a woman the same thing as a woman hitting a child? After all, the act is violence, abuse, dangerous, and can kill.

 

So if a 7-year-old boy hit a grown woman, would you say it is the exact same thing as a woman hitting him?

[Ginger Beer]

Then please answer my question, that I asked before: Is a child hitting a woman the same thing as a woman hitting a child? After all, the act is violence, abuse, dangerous, and can kill.

 

So if a 7-year-old boy hit a grown woman, would you say it is the exact same thing as a woman hitting him?

 

You're not comparing the undeveloped mind of a child to an adult's are you? Really?

[Charismatic]

move on from this cheater. take some time to collect your thoughts

Thank you. I'm going to take a long break from dates until I feel ready again.

 

I wish more people were honest these days. Instead of stringing along someone you don't love anymore (or whatever the issue is) why not just break if off?

 

Frankly if he would have just told me I don't want to marry you anymore and want to date your friend, though it would still have hurt me deeply I would have been at least relieve he told me the truth straight in my face. I would have probably gotten over that at a quicker pace than what I'm now dealing with.

[carhill]

OP, thanks for the update and I hope this experience taught some life lessons. Glad to read this is not a common occurrence for you. The path you've chosen now sounds like a healthy one. Best wishes.

[warmachine01]

Ditto to the last post.

[Els]

You're not comparing the undeveloped mind of a child to an adult's are you? Really?

 

You are again missing the point. I had never said that the OP's actions were excusable, and that is the only way in which your post is relevant.

 

I was comparing the ratio of an average man's strength to a woman's strength, and an average woman's strength to a child's strength. The ratios are, on average, equal. If you prefer a different analogy, how about getting punched by a professional wrestler being the exact same thing as being punched by a 100-year-old man? Does that ring true to you?

 

The state of mind of the individual while performing the action has no bearing on whether the actions are deemed the exact same thing or not.

Edited August 3, 2011 by Elswyth

[carhill]

The state of mind of the individual while performing the action has no bearing on whether the actions are deemed the exact same thing or not.

 

A bit OT but when my mom whalloped me during one of her psychotic rages, it hurt more than any punch a man has ever landed on me. My jaw hurt for a couple of days. That was an 80+ yo woman with no 'filters' at full strength. I won't go into the emotional hurt. One data point. You might consider re-evaluating your comparison.

[Ginger Beer]

You are again missing the point. I had never said that the OP's actions were excusable, and that is the only way in which your post is relevant.

 

I was comparing the ratio of an average man's strength to a woman's strength, and an average woman's strength to a child's strength. The ratios are, on average, equal. If you prefer a different analogy, how about getting punched by a professional wrestler being the exact same thing as being punched by a 100-year-old man? Does that ring true to you?

 

The state of mind of the individual while performing the action has no bearing on whether the actions are deemed the exact same thing or not.

 

Morally they are the exact same thing, in terms of physical pain/damage, they may not be, but that doesn't make it worse/better. It's the intent.

[Els]

A bit OT but when my mom whalloped me during one of her psychotic rages, it hurt more than any punch a man has ever landed on me. My jaw hurt for a couple of days. That was an 80+ yo woman with no 'filters' at full strength. I won't go into the emotional hurt. One data point. You might consider re-evaluating your comparison.

 

Carhill, I really don't mean to cause offense, but I've heard that men and women who are psychotic / insane /possesed / whatever the people around them call it, are often able to muster almost superhuman strength. I have read of frail old men, or tiny young women able to tear themselves from the grip of four people restraining them. So I would not use that as a data point where 'average' is concerned. Equally so, I would not use professional athletes, etc, as a measurement of average. I am sure a pro female wrestler will be able to outpunch the average guy.

 

Morally they are the exact same thing, in terms of physical pain/damage, they may not be, but that doesn't make it worse/better. It's the intent.

 

Come, now, if intent were all that mattered, damage done would not be considered in the courts of law. But it is.

[Ginger Beer]

Come, now, if intent were all that mattered, damage done would not be considered in the courts of law. But it is.

 

The law isn't always right though, it's legal to have an affair for example. Morally right? No.

[Memphis Raines]

Nice to see that you mentioned what context it's in.

 

If you're talking about a woman hitting me because I cheated on her, then I'd take it like a man, because it'd be my own fault, and I'd think 'well, you can't really blame her'.

 

 

well since its not ok for anyone to hit anyone, and someone slugged you and drew blood for cheating, then wouldn't it be the same if a woman cheated on a man and he slugged her for the same offense? why the special treatment?

 

dont get me wrong, I'll never raise my hand to a woman unless its to deflect any incoming punch.

 

 

What, you expect me to ring the police, or hit her back? Pathetic.

 

I don't expect you to do anything. but the law is clear. you have the right to defend yourself, or call the police since it IS battery.

 

If you're talking about someone just coming up to me and punching me for no reason, whether it's a man or a woman, then of course I wouldn't take it.

 

you could call someone the biggest C*** in the world, break their hear, whatever. It doesn't excuse physical violence.

 

maybe now that we know she is violent and not just smacked him, but punched him and drew blood, just what kind of person she is and why he cheated in the first place. and if anyone knows me, you know I don't excuse his cheating. but unlike others here, I'm also not going to excuse her violent tendencies.