Fiance cheated and I punched but is he right to get mad

[samsungxoxo]

It's just a woman punching a man for cheating on her. I'm sure I would have done the same thing and be happy about going to jail for it. Only a coward would report that to the cops. If that happens, then I bet he'll be embarrassed to explain the why it happened.

 

If the OP would have punched him for the hell of it, then he would have the rights to get upset and press charges but from the looks of it, the punch was deserved.

[samsungxoxo]

For us women, there is nothing worst than feeling the emotional pain upon finding out the man we love cheats.

IMO that is a lot worst than if I were to get slapped or punched in the face. If a man hits me, I can easily report him or maybe kick/knee him in his testicles and it would be over already.

Unlike if he cheats on me, that's something internal I wouldn't be able to get over with.

[Ross MwcFan]

Two wrongs make a right, then.

 

I don't think what she did was that wrong. At least it made her feel better.

[Ross MwcFan]

BT, you really need to relax and put things into context.

[samsungxoxo]

BT, you really need to relax and put things into context.

I think he doesn't know what it feels like to be in love and wanting to spend the rest of your life with that special person.

 

For the most part, we are emotional beings, thus that's how we express our feelings. We not only go for the physical aspect of the relationship but want to feel that special bond and emotional contact, the touch, communication etc... and when a man toys with all that then a reaction like what the OP did can occur.

 

If a man cheats, to me it would mean I was absolute trash to him and our talks/special chemistry meant nothing.

[sm1tten]

Yes, you overreacted, and yes, his reasoning is sound. You were hurt and angry, and you reacted. Don't make it a pattern - some guys will hit back. Or press charges. You can't just react any way that you want to, to make it "right."

[Professor X]

So... your argument is "everybody does it," then. So that makes it OK. And it must be a super good feeling to know that you can give anyone you like a good sock in the teeth, enough to draw blood, whenever your poor little feelings are hurt, since anyone who says otherwise is just being "PC".

 

Actually, come to think of it, you're hurting my feelings. Mind if I come by and give you a good smash in the face right now?

 

 

 

You're kidding, right? "Punching people is wrong" is a bubble of self-righteousness? Lovely planet you've got here.

 

You got bitch slapped when you were young, weren't you?

 

And yes, if I hurt your feelings, you can come here, I'll attach you a pair.

[stillafool]

It was then I punched him hard in the mouth, drawing a bit of blood. He went on saying ''What the ****, stupid *****, that is assault and you had no rights to hit me. What if you were the cheater and I hit you for that, you would have had me arrested right so why can I do the same. Forget it I don't feel bad about it anymore'' and he left.

 

Since then it's been NC but was he right in his reasoning? I think I overracted but getting cheated on hurts and even worst when they do with your friend.

 

How would you feel if he had punched you back in the mouth and drew blood? He was perfectly right to do so as you had no right to physically abuse him. He can do what he wants as he is an adult. If you don't like it, walk away. You definitely gave him and out by hitting him. You leveled the playing field. He doesn't feel bad anymore because he already paid for his crime with his bloody mouth. Don't be surprised when he and your friend end up a couple.

[samsungxoxo]

Any man that hits back a woman as if she were a man is nothing but a coward, a bastard IMO. In this case, she can still press charges against him and he goes to jail. No one would care about this story because he has none.

 

The only time I would say it's ok for a man to hit the woman would be if she's really trying to kill him or has deadly weapon (she has a knife held on his throat or can seriously damage him, tries to choke him, etc.)

 

OP, he deserved a kick below the belt if you ask me. He's just mad out of embarrassment. You had every right to be upset while he didn't. Now continue going NC.

Edited July 30, 2011 by samsungxoxo

[stillafool]

Any man that hits back a woman as if she were a man is nothing but a coward, a bastard IMO.

 

I think anyone who hits anyone is cause to go to jail. No one has the right to physically abuse anyone (including animals). Everyone is free to make their own choices and if someone doesn't like another persons choice they are free to walk away.

[samsungxoxo]

I think anyone who hits anyone is cause to go to jail. No one has the right to physically abuse anyone (including animals). Everyone is free to make their own choices and if someone doesn't like another persons choice they are free to walk away.

Yes it would have been better if OP walked away instead of wasting further time with the douchebag but it's hard to think when emotions play a role.

She was cheated on the worst possible way since the person he did it with was someone she knew.

 

I would like to think I'll walk away if this happens to me one day (never been cheated on) but who knows how I'll react.

 

Think about it: you're close to getting married and have everything in your life, you feel like the most luckiest woman on Earth and all of the sudden your dreams of becoming a wife & mother collapsed, how would you feel then?

Sometimes getting cheated on like that is not something you can easily ignore and emotions can get the best of you.

[carhill]

As long as the law proscribes those feelings and resultant reactions as equal opportunity, I would agree. Currently, law in my locale is gender-blind to assault and battery, so if I were to find out my wife was cheating and smacked her a good one in anger, even if I had never touched another human that way before, she simply dials 911 and I go to jail. If we both have immunity from prosecution and social ridicule as being batterers, then we're good to go

[sally4sara]

Last week I found out my fiance cheated on me with my friend Aracelly. I discovered this through a message written on his email and confronted him about it. As you can imagine, he went on expressing remorse and saying sorry.

 

It was then I punched him hard in the mouth, drawing a bit of blood. He went on saying ''What the ****, stupid *****, that is assault and you had no rights to hit me. What if you were the cheater and I hit you for that, you would have had me arrested right so why can I do the same. Forget it I don't feel bad about it anymore'' and he left.

 

Since then it's been NC but was he right in his reasoning? I think I overracted but getting cheated on hurts and even worst when they do with your friend.

 

The simple fact that you're on here looking for external validation for your actions means you know damn well what you did was criminal and wrong. Now that you can't take it back you want someone to tell you is was no big deal.

[sally4sara]

Yes it would have been better if OP walked away instead of wasting further time with the douchebag but it's hard to think when emotions play a role.

She was cheated on the worst possible way since the person he did it with was someone she knew.

 

I would like to think I'll walk away if this happens to me one day (never been cheated on) but who knows how I'll react.

 

Think about it: you're close to getting married and have everything in your life, you feel like the most luckiest woman on Earth and all of the sudden your dreams of becoming a wife & mother collapsed, how would you feel then?

Sometimes getting cheated on like that is not something you can easily ignore and emotions can get the best of you.

 

Yup a bigger person hitting a smaller one is disgusting; we expect people to have some self control and not use their size advantage. Backing the smaller person however, reinforces the idea that they are not equal and require lower expectations in life. Is the OP a less capable and unequal human compared to her cheating BF?

[ptp]

I don't get how people are justifying what the OP did as okay.

 

If it is never okay for a man to hit a woman then it is never okay for a woman to hit a man regardless of how hurt/angry she is.

[ptp]

Look beyond the friggin law FFS

 

 

He's a man and should of taken it like a man. If I were that guy and my girl smacked me I would of grabbed a wet towel and cooled the hurt while thinking.. "guess I deserved it"

 

When you do these things to someone, it is a damn good chance yo umay get a lickin or two!

 

f**k that, women want equal rights etc.. well this comes being equal.

 

You are woman, if a guy hit you hard enough to make you bleed because you cheated, would you say to yourself "I deserved that" or would you run screaming to the local police station that you were assaulted. I am guessing you would do the latter.

 

If women want to be treated like equals then they should be able to face consequences of their actions as equals.

[Pyro]

Last week I found out my fiance cheated on me with my friend Aracelly. I discovered this through a message written on his email and confronted him about it. As you can imagine, he went on expressing remorse and saying sorry.

 

It was then I punched him hard in the mouth, drawing a bit of blood. He went on saying ''What the ****, stupid *****, that is assault and you had no rights to hit me. What if you were the cheater and I hit you for that, you would have had me arrested right so why can I do the same. Forget it I don't feel bad about it anymore'' and he left.

 

Since then it's been NC but was he right in his reasoning? I think I overracted but getting cheated on hurts and even worst when they do with your friend.

 

Kudos to you for giving him a well deserved punch but I hope it will be worth it if he does decide to press charges.

[ptp]

Well I sure as hell wouldn't be a man that runs to the police like a little girl screaming that his GF assaulted me:laugh:

Men are stronger, we do damage badly and it's been written in stone since the start of the damn world...YOU DO NOT HIT A WOMAN!!! EVER! so she has every right to have the REAL MEN(Cops) come and take that ass-hat away.

 

So yes..woman can hit a man in the face for this sort of BS and the man should take his loss and be a man..suck it up.... you did her wrong.

 

That is such BS. You can't have separate rules for 1 gender and then expect both genders to be considered equals.

[samsungxoxo]

In getting a man-card, it is required you know the importance of never hitting a woman.

 

It just doesn't happen....ever.

Yet apart from the Rhianna incidence, which was horrendous, many people are justifying what happened to Snookie.

 

Snookie is only like 4'9 and the drunkard bastard that punched her was like 6ft something (he was a school teacher, hopefully he doesn't teach no more). He only apologized after he first said she deserved it.

[samsungxoxo]

That is such BS. You can't have separate rules for 1 gender and then expect both genders to be considered equals.

I think he is right. There is also something known as ''common sense''. Unless the woman is a black-belt then it's never really an equal fight. That's like if I was trying to fight a 10 to 12 year-old kid.

However, what the man can do (if he wants to) is simply report it just like a woman would if it was vice-versa. In doing that, the woman gets in trouble and not him, he saves himself from possibly getting beaten by other men or taken to jail.

[sally4sara]

And you don't think what the **** he did wasn't criminal and wrong!!! They were getting married for ****ing sakes and his ****ing ass was cheating on her!!!

She knocked him a good one in the face BIG ****ING DEAL!!!!!!!

 

IT WAS NO BIG DEAL!

 

 

If she stabbed and killed him..it would be a BIG DEAL!

 

She merely knicked his face......WOW! put her behind bars!!!!

 

And if what she did was so righteous, you wouldn't need to jump all over anyone who doubted her righteousness.

Getting through life tossing tantrums when things go wrong is the act of a child. Is the OP a child? Children are not ready for marriage.

It is the attitude that hitting someone over a non violent act that waters down the assault laws. Its comes from the same reasoning of "she had it coming" and "you pushed me to it; its your fault I hit you".

[Buck Turgidson]

It is the attitude that hitting someone over a non violent act that waters down the assault laws. Its comes from the same reasoning of "she had it coming" and "you pushed me to it; its your fault I hit you".

 

I would rather say that it waters down the idea of assault, rather than the laws, which I really don't care about.

 

But I certainly hear echos in this room of "So what if she got herself raped. She had it coming. She shouldn't have been wearing that slutty dress." Same exact victim-blaming bull****.

 

Not all victims of violence are squeaky-clean princesses from Fairy Dell Convent. Regardless of what nonviolent offense person has committed, violently attacking someone against their will is NEVER the right answer. Assault is ALWAYS wrong.

 

And cheering them on while they're doing it is nothing but despicable schoolyard toadying. I'm honestly shocked that this must be pointed out to adult humans. I'm really sorry that some of you have been heartbroken by the thoughtlessness of others, but that doesn't give anyone the right to resort to violence. Ever. Period. End of story. Everyone over the age of twelve has felt heartbroken at some point and most of us are able to choose not to physically attack our heartbreakers.

[woinlove]

Last week I found out my fiance cheated on me with my friend Aracelly. I discovered this through a message written on his email and confronted him about it. As you can imagine, he went on expressing remorse and saying sorry.

 

It was then I punched him hard in the mouth, drawing a bit of blood. He went on saying ''What the ****, stupid *****, that is assault and you had no rights to hit me. What if you were the cheater and I hit you for that, you would have had me arrested right so why can I do the same. Forget it I don't feel bad about it anymore'' and he left.

 

Since then it's been NC but was he right in his reasoning? I think I overracted but getting cheated on hurts and even worst when they do with your friend.

 

You were wrong to hit him, but your question is was he right to get mad. Him saying "Forget it I don't feel bad about it anymore" may just be him lashing out in anger at being hit, but it may also be him grabbing an excuse to not feel bad about deceiving and cheating on you with your friend. Obviously you hitting him after the fact in no way explains why he cheated and if he really doesn't feel bad about cheating, you are so much better off without him. Maybe he was just sorry about getting caught, not sorry about cheating.

 

If you've never been physically violent before, perhaps this incident will be enough to teach you to have self-control even when you feel punched in the gut or worse emotionally. In that case, it was a momentary loss of control which you can learn from. It will benefit you the most if you do learn from this. On the other hand, your fiance cheating involved much more than a moment. He may or may not be capable of becoming a more honest and trustworthy person anytime soon.

[Ginger Beer]

Any man that hits back a woman as if she were a man is nothing but a coward, a bastard IMO. In this case, she can still press charges against him and he goes to jail. No one would care about this story because he has none.

 

The only time I would say it's ok for a man to hit the woman would be if she's really trying to kill him or has deadly weapon (she has a knife held on his throat or can seriously damage him, tries to choke him, etc.)

 

OP, he deserved a kick below the belt if you ask me. He's just mad out of embarrassment. You had every right to be upset while he didn't. Now continue going NC.

 

No...

 

Why do you think that?

[samsungxoxo]

No...

 

Why do you think that?

It would be just retaliating and not actually self-defense. Other than that, it just seems wrong.

 

It's different if he were to hit the woman once because she has a weapon and is about to kill him vs he hit her back because a woman slap or punch him once.

 

My point stands the same, slapping or punching back a woman is what cowards/boys do, not real men.