Author one goal Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 "the reason why I chose her was because she was older,, and most likely MORE mature." More mature than what??? Sorry to say, but from what you've written in this thread, it doesn't seem that you are mature enough for a woman your own age. I think I'm mature. People say I'm mature for my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 I forgot to ask, but I notice students at my school on her facebook page. Would it also be ok for me to send her a friend request? or would she find that stalkerish and creeped out because I asked her out? Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 You've already crossed the line with this teacher. Don't creep her out by asking to friend her on FB. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Don't send her a request. Really, don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 Don't send her a request. Really, don't. I think you're right. At least not until the summer since I wont see her anymore. Kinda hurts my feelings though she has other students on her page, but likely doesn't like me. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 That's life. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I think you're right. At least not until the summer since I wont see her anymore. Kinda hurts my feelings though she has other students on her page, but likely doesn't like me. I just don't think you should at all. Don't you realize that as long as you continue to drag this on, you'll continue to make yourself feel worse. Trust me. Been there, done that. Not with a teacher, but still. We all get our feelings hurt in life. I remember when there was this girl I was really into who was always kind to me. One day, this jerk guy basically told her in so many words that she's useless if she's not dropping her panties, and that he could find someone much better than her in front of a ton of people, myself included. He wasn't even her boyfriend, either. I tried to get with her, but she was into him more and wouldn't have any of it. We were still cool, but I didn't see her much after that. So, when my friend tells me she's on his FB, and to add her, I did. Her page was open, so I saw the guy on her page talking to her and still being ignorant to her, but in a toned down way. I added her, and she denied it. Later, she told my friend that while she had no problem with me, she just didn't want me on her page--especially with the other guy being there. She also told him that she thought I would continue trying to be with her regardless of the fact that she's into the other guy. I was annoyed, simply because that wasn't my intention. It hurt my feelings to an extent...but then I realized that it's Facebook. Who cares? So, while my story might not be the best, just know that it happens. No use pouting over it forever; gotta move on to other women, homie. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 I decided to send her a friend request yesterday. We shall see if she accepts. Like I said other students from my school are on her page so I see no reason she shouldn't accept mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Just don't go thinking it means she's signaled you out as hot stuff. True. It will be akward Tue morning in class if she's been on facebook at all and saw my request. I'm not lying though this chick has the perfect everything. I can only imagine what she looked like when she was younger. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Why do you even ask for advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Why do you even ask for advice? DOT.. The only answer I can come up with is that he is trolling... Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Seriously the teacher is one of the hottest girls ive ever seen. Its distracting in class. She is grading me harder now since I asked her out. I wanted to question her grading but she could get me in troublefor asking her out. What is actually happening is that your papers are **** because you're thinking about her hot body instead of your studies. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Why do you even ask for advice? Indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetDaphne Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 True. It will be akward Tue morning in class if she's been on facebook at all and saw my request. I'm not lying though this chick has the perfect everything. I can only imagine what she looked like when she was younger. You do realize how extremely creepy you are to her (and us ) right now don't you? I mean she's already said no to you, you've continued harassing her via e-mail, and now are doing it on Facebook? Don't be surprised if you get administrators talking to you about this....it's time to back off buddy and leave her alone. NOW!! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Jeez, I am "unfriending" you and we aren't even facebook friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 You do realize how extremely creepy you are to her (and us ) right now don't you? I mean she's already said no to you, you've continued harassing her via e-mail, and now are doing it on Facebook? Don't be surprised if you get administrators talking to you about this....it's time to back off buddy and leave her alone. NOW!! I did back off. After I asked her out a few weeks back it seems she tries to avoid me. I only sent her a FB request because other students do. I just hurts my feelings because I'm always nice to her and very polite. Yet she doesn't like me. Link to post Share on other sites
Knittress Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 I did back off. After I asked her out a few weeks back it seems she tries to avoid me. I only sent her a FB request because other students do. I just hurts my feelings because I'm always nice to her and very polite. Yet she doesn't like me. Asking out a proff is NOT polite, and putting her in an awkward situation (repeatedly!) shows a distinct lack of empathy and is far from nice. You, Guy, are acting self-absorbed and a tad sociopathic and ought to get your butt into counseling. If you're not, according to my suspicions, jerking us around for attention and the most massively pointless thread ever. Oh, and look at me, adding to the troll-thread. GAH. This thing needs to end, seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
moontiger Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 I did back off. After I asked her out a few weeks back it seems she tries to avoid me. One Goal, it's hard to blame her. As I've said before, I was a young female professor. Ever since the Virginia Tech shooting, I know it was always on the back of my mind that students can and sometimes do go postal--when one of them started acting inappropriately (and you are now acting inappropriately) I kept my distance. I only sent her a FB request because other students do. Other students most likely treat her with the professional distance that a student should treat his or her professor with. They don't ask her out during the term, or send her lots and lots of e-mails after she declines, and then ask her why she didn't answer, and then Facebook friend her. If she friends you at this point, she could be in hot water. People may see her "friending" as evidence that she is encouraging your attention outside of class. I just hurts my feelings because I'm always nice to her and very polite. Yet she doesn't like me. One Goal, I assume you are straight. How would you like it if, say, another man hit on you and wouldn't leave you alone? Well, she feels like that. She doesn't want to date you, and she has asked you nicely to back off. You aren't respecting her wishes, and keep trying to interact with her in an inappropriate, overfamiliar and unprofessional way even though you know you are making her uncomfortable. You are also putting her in the really uncomfortable position of someone who has to grade you and is also being hit on. What you are doing doesn't sound nice or polite; it sounds disrespectful. Of course she doesn't like you, and you shouldn't be surprised. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 One Goal, it's hard to blame her. As I've said before, I was a young female professor. Ever since the Virginia Tech shooting, I know it was always on the back of my mind that students can and sometimes do go postal--when one of them started acting inappropriately (and you are now acting inappropriately) I kept my distance. Other students most likely treat her with the professional distance that a student should treat his or her professor with. They don't ask her out during the term, or send her lots and lots of e-mails after she declines, and then ask her why she didn't answer, and then Facebook friend her. If she friends you at this point, she could be in hot water. People may see her "friending" as evidence that she is encouraging your attention outside of class. One Goal, I assume you are straight. How would you like it if, say, another man hit on you and wouldn't leave you alone? Well, she feels like that. She doesn't want to date you, and she has asked you nicely to back off. You aren't respecting her wishes, and keep trying to interact with her in an inappropriate, overfamiliar and unprofessional way even though you know you are making her uncomfortable. You are also putting her in the really uncomfortable position of someone who has to grade you and is also being hit on. What you are doing doesn't sound nice or polite; it sounds disrespectful. Of course she doesn't like you, and you shouldn't be surprised. When you mean by your student's acting inappropriate, you mean they hit on you too? See I'm not the only guy who does it. That doesn't make sense, because I LIKE her. I don't hate her. I have noticed she has got harder on my grades since I asked her out. She wasn't pissed when I talked to her about asking her out, she just seemed kinda akward, and a little nervous. I mean I'm in my 20s, she shouldn't make a big deal of it. Like I said I'm always to class on time, always courtious to her, very polite. I'm just trying to figure out what it is about me that turned her off to the idea because she is single. Assuming she's been on facebook and saw my friend request, what should I expect her to say to me in class? Will she just not mention it hopefully? Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 She didn't mention the Facebook friend request at all today luckily. I talked to her after class because on one of my assignments she handed back she took points off of it. Lately since I asked her out she's been more critical of my work it seems, and when I try and approach her regarding my class work she just seems different now. Not mean, but she like has her guard up more, and is defensive in regards to how she grades. Like she tried telling me today that she grades based on the work, and not the person. Which I see some half ass work and presentations in there that people still get good grades on. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilmisus Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 She didn't mention the Facebook friend request at all today luckily. I talked to her after class because on one of my assignments she handed back she took points off of it. Lately since I asked her out she's been more critical of my work it seems, and when I try and approach her regarding my class work she just seems different now. Not mean, but she like has her guard up more, and is defensive in regards to how she grades. Like she tried telling me today that she grades based on the work, and not the person. Which I see some half ass work and presentations in there that people still get good grades on. Of course she has her guard up! She doesn't want to lead you on, and she doesn't want you thinking that she's interested in you when in fact she wants you to leave her alone. Do you not understand that she could lose her job? If you really like this chick, then you wouldn't want to do anything at all to risk that. You've already pushed things far enough, and you need to back off now. If you don't, then she could easily go to administration, file a restraining order, fail/kick you out of the class, or she may just switch schools just to get away from you. Yes..it's gotten that serious to where she may consider it. When you ask someone out, and continue to harass them via e-mail and sending the friend request, then they may turn to drastic measures to get out of the situation. Stop talking to her after class, no matter what grades she gives you, she has every right to give you whatever grade, and she will stand by it and keep that wall up from you, it will not come down. You're honestly looking to be very psychotic right now, not just to her, but to me (and maybe a few others on here) as well. I think you should let this thread, and your hope of being anything in her life, die. Move on, and find someone else you find equally as appealing to you as she did, who isn't your teacher and who could actually say yes and who wouldn't find it massively creepy if you friended her on Facebook. Seriouly. Get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
lizwashere Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 (edited) Of course she has her guard up! She doesn't want to lead you on, and she doesn't want you thinking that she's interested in you when in fact she wants you to leave her alone. Do you not understand that she could lose her job? If you really like this chick, then you wouldn't want to do anything at all to risk that. You've already pushed things far enough, and you need to back off now. If you don't, then she could easily go to administration, file a restraining order, fail/kick you out of the class, or she may just switch schools just to get away from you. Yes..it's gotten that serious to where she may consider it. When you ask someone out, and continue to harass them via e-mail and sending the friend request, then they may turn to drastic measures to get out of the situation. Stop talking to her after class, no matter what grades she gives you, she has every right to give you whatever grade, and she will stand by it and keep that wall up from you, it will not come down. You're honestly looking to be very psychotic right now, not just to her, but to me (and maybe a few others on here) as well. I think you should let this thread, and your hope of being anything in her life, die. Move on, and find someone else you find equally as appealing to you as she did, who isn't your teacher and who could actually say yes and who wouldn't find it massively creepy if you friended her on Facebook. Seriouly. Get over it. This guy sounds like every woman's nightmare and I'm especially troubled by the fact that he doesn't understand why his Professor is creeped out by his behavior. He's also trying to make it seem like she's doing something wrong - that somehow she's to blame for what's happened. Yikes! Does the OP not understand that this woman is working, that she is trying to do her job without being bothered. She's not there to entertain his sexual needs or desires. Edited April 5, 2011 by lizwashere Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 What I was trying to imply is that I don't think your personal feelings, or dislikes for someone should be used when grading students. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I still think you need to ask her out again.. You have a shot.. she won't be expecting you to not take no for an answer and you will sweep her off her feet with you unwillingness to concede defeat.. Go for it... Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I still think you need to ask her out again.. You have a shot.. she won't be expecting you to not take no for an answer and you will sweep her off her feet with you unwillingness to concede defeat.. Go for it... This is great advice, OP. It might also get you better grades. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts