Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Share Posted March 28, 2011 day 19 of NC/VLC Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Share Posted March 28, 2011 ugh my ex has done me so wrong. SO WRONG. why in the hell do I still miss her so badly?? Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 ugh my ex has done me so wrong. SO WRONG. why in the hell do I still miss her so badly?? I could have written those exact words, man. Going through the 'down' phase on the emotional roller-coaster these past few days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Share Posted March 28, 2011 I could have written those exact words, man. Going through the 'down' phase on the emotional roller-coaster these past few days. man, with the hell she has put me through, our son, all the money this thing has cost, the fact she is WITH ANOTHER GUY, and her complete lack of empathy/caring/compassion/mercy, I should hate this persons guts!! WTH IS WRONG WITH ME. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 man, with the hell she has put me through, our son, all the money this thing has cost, the fact she is WITH ANOTHER GUY, and her complete lack of empathy/caring/compassion/mercy, I should hate this persons guts!! WTH IS WRONG WITH ME. You were with her for a long time and the limbic system of your brain adjusted to having her around, she provides a specific stimulus. Now that she is gone, your limbic system hasn't quite realized that she should be and isn't coming back. It only knows that she isn't there and goes searching for her, and keeps waiting for her. It will take at least 6 months to heal the limbic injury to a point where your brain accepts the "new normal." There isn't anything wrong with you, on the contrary, you bond better then most males, now all you need to do is work on your communication, co-dependency and bond with someone more healthy and stable. Voila! When you get there, break it down into teeny tiny steps for me so I can follow Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 When you get there, break it down into teeny tiny steps for me so I can follow hahaha me too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 28, 2011 Author Share Posted March 28, 2011 I'll be sure to take notes Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I'll be sure to take notes Lay on MacDuff.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 (edited) txt from wife last night: we can talk soon. I appreciate you giving me some space. as Admiral Ackbar once said: IT'S A TRAP!! Edited March 29, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 i have this impulse to text her today saying "I love you". someone please slap me silly. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 i have this impulse to text her today saying "I love you". someone please slap me silly. hahaha, we must be brothers - 'cause I had the same impulse to text my wife today too with some sorta heartfelt but simple text. Tell you what - you chain yourself to the radiator and kick the phone across the room. I'll do the same. And then in a couple hours, when the impulse has passed, we'll call out for the fire department to free us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 hahaha, we must be brothers - 'cause I had the same impulse to text my wife today too with some sorta heartfelt but simple text. Tell you what - you chain yourself to the radiator and kick the phone across the room. I'll do the same. And then in a couple hours, when the impulse has passed, we'll call out for the fire department to free us. hahaha.. yep, we must be on the same rollercoaster. Pretty sure if I did text her this she'd say "i knoooooow" and do a facepalm. I'm staying NC until SHE initiates contact, if that ever happens. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 hahaha.. yep, we must be on the same rollercoaster. Pretty sure if I did text her this she'd say "i knoooooow" and do a facepalm. I'm staying NC until SHE initiates contact, if that ever happens. If I did it, I'd be outright ignored and then I'd be chewing on my own upset/anger for hours afterwards contemplating 'what it all means'. But boy, I really DO understand the romantic impulse and the fantasy behind it. It's the idea that somehow you will 'decode' the right words to make everything just right, and that she'll see the light with those few words. (Of course, never mind the fact that she's been treating you like sh*t for a long time...) (I'm using the universal 'you' and 'she', by the way, as it applies to me as well.) Link to post Share on other sites
silvermane187 Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 txt from wife last night: we can talk soon. I appreciate you giving me some space. as Admiral Ackbar once said: IT'S A TRAP!! hahaha holy...good job having a sense of humour throughout this. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Sloooowwww doooowwwwnn. She said that she appreciated you giving her space. That means that at this point space works. In about 2 days respond to the text. Set a 48 hour reminder on the phone. Don't be a drip about it. And when you do end up seeing her. Keep it to 15 mins, be civil and non-reactive. No "I love you's"!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 Yea, I know. I'm not reading into it at all.. and again she's with an OM. I also found out this clown not only was divorced in 06, but just filed for his second divorce on 3/14/11. I'm not going to speculate any further. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Yea, I know. I'm not reading into it at all.. and again she's with an OM. I also found out this clown not only was divorced in 06, but just filed for his second divorce on 3/14/11. I'm not going to speculate any further. Um, wow, sounds like a stable winner. At least he made up his mind two weeks ago! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 Um, wow, sounds like a stable winner. At least he made up his mind two weeks ago! yea... maybe he's divorcing to be with my ex. or she doesn't know he's married and just filed for divorce. he filed for both divorces btw... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Maybe they are both dopes with co-dependency and relational issues! The details don't matter. FAIL! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 Maybe they are both dopes with co-dependency and relational issues! The details don't matter. FAIL! yea, seems pretty ridiculous. if she knows this guys history why in the hell would she want to involve herself with him? whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 I just had a recollection about something she said years ago.. something to the effect that when she is done she is DONE and she'll be gone for good. Looks like she was serious about that. I'm the complete opposite, I never say never. Oh well... I'll keep remembering that I have a ton going for me and there are many women out there who will be able to appreciate that. She never could. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I just had a recollection about something she said years ago.. something to the effect that when she is done she is DONE and she'll be gone for good. Looks like she was serious about that. I'm the complete opposite, I never say never. Oh well... I'll keep remembering that I have a ton going for me and there are many women out there who will be able to appreciate that. She never could. Typical male vs female view of ending a relationship. Women will push themselves past their limit and not go back. Men will float in and out if the situation looks good. If I get done, I won't go back even if my husband won the lottery and became "World's Most Sensitive Male." I would never put myself through trying to rebuild after the emotional train wreck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 Typical male vs female view of ending a relationship. Women will push themselves past their limit and not go back. Men will float in and out if the situation looks good. If I get done, I won't go back even if my husband won the lottery and became "World's Most Sensitive Male." I would never put myself through trying to rebuild after the emotional train wreck. So, how come you're not at that point yet? Don't get me wrong its admirable to want to keep your family in tact, but you have put up with ALOT. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted March 31, 2011 Author Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) I get the feeling that her text about appreciating me giving her space was to keep me from contacting her further. also I guess complimenting her when I see her tonite would be a bad idea... Edited March 31, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 also I guess complimenting her when I see her tonite would be a bad idea... You: (to her) "You look like sh*t. There. I hope that gives you more space that you appreciate." Link to post Share on other sites
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