robf1971 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 . She told me i was a wuss of a man Stop acting like one man
robf1971 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Should i apologize?! Nope!! STFU, she will come to you.
Author russell1968 Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Nope!! STFU, she will come to you. OK, I have just unloaded two months worth of frustration on her told her to **** off and i want a divorce! i have to see her at 8.30 am i said i didnt want to talk to her anymore, Do i just get my daughter ready and hand her over and not say a word?
What_Next Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 i have to see her at 8.30 am i said i didnt want to talk to her anymore, Do i just get my daughter ready and hand her over and not say a word? Have your child ready for her to pickup. Don't be rude or distant, just act like you have somewhere to be. You need to listen. RELAX!!!! RELAX!!!! You are actiing like a scolded child. Women do not respect that. No respect, no marriage.
Author russell1968 Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Have your child ready for her to pickup. Don't be rude or distant, just act like you have somewhere to be. You need to listen. RELAX!!!! RELAX!!!! You are actiing like a scolded child. Women do not respect that. No respect, no marriage. I can see your point!
hopesndreams Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 A lovely turn of events. I was going to suggest you not get rid of computer and to put a keylogger on it. You can still do that, of course, because like a bad penny, she will show up again. You and the kids not home, her not working, sat at computer all day---she isn't playing solitaire, that much is certain. You can see her for the emotionally abusive W she has become and the irresponsible mother. No more being her built-in babysitter. You are her H. If she can't treat you with respect, which she can't from what I've read, than to h*ll with her. It's crazy to keep things bottled up inside for 9 weeks and for heaven's sake, do not apologize, she had this coming and then some. Be firm with her now. Feels good to have a bit of power back, right? Everything she was doing was leading up to today. It was unavoidable. It takes 2 to make a relationship work and only 1 to break it. She broke it because of her immaturity and selfishness. Don't fall for her BS that it was all your doing. She made a mug of you and would have continued doing so for as long as it suited her. Honestly, you will be better off without her. You don't see that now but in time and with detaching yourself from her evil ways, you will. Time to rebuild your self-esteem. Going back to the way things were before the blow-up because of your fear and uncertainty will destroy whatever little self-esteem you have left.
Woggle Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 You can use the drug use in divorce court. I hope you know that. Start lawyering up.
Author russell1968 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Rob, You are right I didn’t have to wait a long time; she came round 9.00 o’clock last night, asking why I wanted a divorce. Was I seeing someone else? She then asked why I loved her and what I loved about her! She had been drinking! She then got up to leave I grabbed her and gave her a big kiss on the lips! I then asked her if she was still in love with me and she didn’t want to answer, I said just tell me yes or no, she said yes, I said thank you and walked away. She came round this morning I was friendly and I asked why she finds it hard to say that she still loves me , she said it makes her weak..,. I said I have two questions I wanted ask her why she was sober and need to know the answer to these if I’m going to continue to fight for this relationship. Do you still love me? And I mean none of that crap like I love you as the father of my children! DO YOU STILL LOVE ME? She was clearly under pressure but to be honest I did need to know she said, yes.Have you been involved with anyone or done anything since with another guy since we have been separated? She said no! I then dropped all talk and just got my daughter ready. She then told me my house was a mess and how pleased she was that she had got her car fixed so didn’t have to keep asking the father of one of my daughters friends for jump start as he keeps coming on to her , I told her bluntly stop telling me this **** I’m not interested. What do I do next??
robf1971 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Rob, You are right I didn’t have to wait a long time; she came round 9.00 o’clock last night, asking why I wanted a divorce. Was I seeing someone else? She then asked why I loved her and what I loved about her! She had been drinking! She then got up to leave I grabbed her and gave her a big kiss on the lips! I then asked her if she was still in love with me and she didn’t want to answer, I said just tell me yes or no, she said yes, I said thank you and walked away. She came round this morning I was friendly and I asked why she finds it hard to say that she still loves me , she said it makes her weak..,. I said I have two questions I wanted ask her why she was sober and need to know the answer to these if I’m going to continue to fight for this relationship. Do you still love me? And I mean none of that crap like I love you as the father of my children! DO YOU STILL LOVE ME? She was clearly under pressure but to be honest I did need to know she said, yes.Have you been involved with anyone or done anything since with another guy since we have been separated? She said no!I then dropped all talk and just got my daughter ready. She then told me my house was a mess and how pleased she was that she had got her car fixed so didn’t have to keep asking the father of one of my daughters friends for jump start as he keeps coming on to her , I told her bluntly stop telling me this **** I’m not interested. What do I do next?? Ok, you are doing good, today, STFU. I gotta go out , I'll catch you this evening. Remember do not contact her, let her do all the contacting. I'm telling you, you can do this........
marqueemoon4 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 It really sounds like your wife needs IC for her drug/alcohol abuse. Even if she does come back its going to continue to be a problem.
Author russell1968 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 It really sounds like your wife needs IC for her drug/alcohol abuse. Even if she does come back its going to continue to be a problem. I agree, you would have thought that she would have been happy after walking out of an unhappy marriage! (Clearly Not!) This is not how a happy person behaves! I’m the complete opposite I may be 42 but I’m an athlete and extremely fit! She needs to get her **** together!!
Binster Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Hey russell I just been reading through your thread mate, and I have to say I think your doing great. I read some of rob's advice on another thread and already thought he was well clued up, but the advice he's given you and that you've followed is real top stuff. Listen to this guy you're not going to get better advice and it does seem to be working. If things dont work at least you'll know you gave it the very best shot, without groveling or humiliating yourself. Good luck mate. Keep posting.
Author russell1968 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Hey russell I just been reading through your thread mate, and I have to say I think your doing great. I read some of rob's advice on another thread and already thought he was well clued up, but the advice he's given you and that you've followed is real top stuff. Listen to this guy you're not going to get better advice and it does seem to be working. If things dont work at least you'll know you gave it the very best shot, without groveling or humiliating yourself. Good luck mate. Keep posting. Cheers Binster, Rob, has got some great advice! I'm going to save this !
Author russell1968 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Rob, all quiet on the western front tonight! i would also like to ad i owe you about a million beers!
Author russell1968 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Everything has gone quiet, this is when i start to worry! I guess it's about focusing on myself ?
hopesndreams Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 You need to focus on yourself and your children. You are the only responsible parent they have to look up to. They are counting on you, their teacher, to show them what a healthy life physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually looks like so that when they mature into adults they aren't warped but instead have good, positive outlooks and values which will lead them to a happy life. Don't listen to what she says. Words are just words. Look at her actions.
robf1971 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Everything has gone quiet, this is when i start to worry! I guess it's about focusing on myself ? Yep there is indeed a whole world out there to be enjoying... with or without your wife. Treat yourself, seriously.. Your wife thinks its ok to spend £500 per month on a flat with your family's money... There's me thinking you can get a nice Audi convertible for that money... I'm a car kinda person but whatever you're into works.
robf1971 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Everything has gone quiet, Perfect!!! enjoy it while it lasts
Author russell1968 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 As i was checking to see if she had been cheating, i was able to get into her facebook account, unfortunetly i have now locked her out of her account!Oh dear! Do i come clean or just let her run through security and reset her own password! She will know it's me?
robf1971 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 As i was checking to see if she had been cheating, i was able to get into her facebook account, unfortunetly i have now locked her out of her account!Oh dear! Do i come clean or just let her run through security and reset her own password! She will know it's me? Did you mange to see inot her account?
imagine Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Fess up. This is what a husband should do. Why not declare your boundary that association with another guy means that she has drawn the curtain on your relationship! This is a subtle hint to reconciliation.
Author russell1968 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Fess up. This is what a husband should do. Why not declare your boundary that association with another guy means that she has drawn the curtain on your relationship! This is a subtle hint to reconciliation. She will see it as a breach of her privacy! Reconcilliation is what I'm after
marqueemoon4 Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 yea that was kind of a dirty move (believe me I tried to hack my wifes FB when she first left, unsuccessfully) ... I would just wait and see if she throws any accusations at you. I'll do the RobF thing: "Wife, I did indeed breach your FB account, and the good news is you're on the level. The bad news is you'll probably never trust me again. Now go score an 8 ball and gtfo of my life!"
2sunny Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 she wants out on her own? then let her figure out how to support herself. she will hold on to you if she thinks she can get you to give her money - so she can continue her party without you being present. there is another man - i guarantee it. start checking... take the blinders off. take the money away and make her uncomfortable. the more comfortable you try to keep her - the more she won't change to be decent.
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