Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Thanks Rob, What do you make of my other points? She didnt even want to say goodbye Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 She seemed very keen to get on the computer and check her Facebook page and told me she had met some guy who she had spent a hour chatting to and she gave lift to In the morning as they all stayed round someone’s house, and he has added her as a friend, I just ignored all of this !1 Is she baiting me?Why is she telling me this stuff about Facebook, and a guy she met?Maybe she is trying to tell me subtly that she has moved on?I did not ask her how her night was or did I ask her about this guy on FacebookThis is extremely hard OK, here is what's going on, You mentioned earlier that you have been possesive in the past right? Suddenly you have changed. Think about it from her point of view "wow Russell has suddenly changed is this a ploy to win me back?" This whole facebook thing was a test my friend, and you passed with flying colours. If you'd have flipped out then she'd have thought "Same old Russell" but you played it cool. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Rob, She seemed very keen to get on the computer and check her Facebook page and told me she had met some guy who she had spent a hour chatting to and she gave lift to In the morning as they all stayed round someone’s house, and he has added her as a friend, I just ignored all of this !1 Is she baiting me?Why is she telling me this stuff about Facebook, and a guy she met?Maybe she is trying to tell me subtly that she has moved on?I did not ask her how her night was or did I ask her about this guy on FacebookThis is extremely hard Here's why I smell bovine excrement (BS) 1. Are you telling me she doesn't have her own Computer to check Facebook? You can do it on any mobile nowadays also. Why do this in front of you at your house hmmm. 2. Why does she need to check Facebook at 7am, you say she's on housing benefit, she would have all day to do it at her place hmmm 3. If she was really shagging her way around town the last person she'd be telling was you. Trust me!! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Facebook page Dude, Facebook is like going back to Secondary School, stay away from it. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Rob, She came round a bit earlier than expected this morning, I was cool and friendly, I didn’t ask her about her night out at all, I think this may have annoyed her as she said I don’t know why I keep asking you about the weekend as it feels like a one way conversation, I just said it’s not like that but I’m just trying to get the girls ready. She seemed very keen to get on the computer and check her Facebook page and told me she had met some guy who she had spent a hour chatting to and she gave lift to In the morning as they all stayed round someone’s house, and he has added her as a friend, I just ignored all of this !1 Is she baiting me?Why is she telling me this stuff about Facebook, and a guy she met?Maybe she is trying to tell me subtly that she has moved on?I did not ask her how her night was or did I ask her about this guy on FacebookThis is extremely hard Here's a possibility. She has known the guy for ages and this is the devious way she used to get him to fall out of the sky. It's amazing how many people fall out of the sky after a break-up/separation, isn't it? Since you weren't at all interested in what she did on the weekend, it was her chance to bring him out of the woodwork. They might be seriously dating each other as soon as next weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Rob, She said this guy has added me as a friend on Facebook, spoke to him for a hour and gave him a lift in the morning as we where going the same way!! Maybe, she is trying to tell me something? She could have not said a word and I would have been no worse off! Also she was constantly sniffing, which meant a night out on cocaine! She has lost so much weight! Also she is lying about all sorts of stuff it’s getting ridiculas My daughters didn’t miss her one little bit this weekend! Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Thanks Rob, What do you make of my other points? She didnt even want to say goodbye She is going to be testing you left right and centre in the near future be prepared. She may try to bait you into showing your old self, say things that really hurt, try to criticise you as a father, draw you into an argument, come over and seduce you blah blah. I've been there and brought the T shirt man. You are going to stay call and calm. She says something nasty to you " Wife, I love talking to you but until you can do so in a civil and friendly manner this conversation is over" then walk away or put the phone down. She is testing your changes and whether you can stand up to her Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Rob, She said this guy has added me as a friend on Facebook, spoke to him for a hour and gave him a lift in the morning as we where going the same way!! Maybe, she is trying to tell me something? She could have not said a word and I would have been no worse off! Also she was constantly sniffing, which meant a night out on cocaine! She has lost so much weight! Also she is lying about all sorts of stuff it’s getting ridiculas My daughters didn’t miss her one little bit this weekend! Stop mind reading and second guessing Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Here's why I smell bovine excrement (BS) 1. Are you telling me she doesn't have her own Computer to check Facebook? You can do it on any mobile nowadays also. Why do this in front of you at your house hmmm. 2. Why does she need to check Facebook at 7am, you say she's on housing benefit, she would have all day to do it at her place hmmm 3. If she was really shagging her way around town the last person she'd be telling was you. Trust me!! She has no internet connection at home. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Rob, She said this guy has added me as a friend on Facebook, spoke to him for a hour and gave him a lift in the morning as we where going the same way!! Maybe, she is trying to tell me something? She could have not said a word and I would have been no worse off! Also she was constantly sniffing, which meant a night out on cocaine! She has lost so much weight! Also she is lying about all sorts of stuff it’s getting ridiculas My daughters didn’t miss her one little bit this weekend! Ok as long as she does Cocaine and looses weight it aint your problem. As long as she doesn't do drugs in front of your kids. Forget about her, it's a new week!! Get working, earn some money. You got the kids this weekend? If not, join that socialising site I told you about. Heck, don't even go to the local one. Hop on the train to London, go to one there, have fun. Mix socially with ladies. Drink a lot, get yourself a cheap crappy room in London. Spend Sunday walking around, I love walking around London, it's one of the worlds great cities on your doorstep. Ignore her the whole weekend, just send a goodnight text to your kids, let her wonder what the hell you are doing.. get me? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 She has no internet connection at home. Bet she can get it on her mobile, or an internet cafe or whatever. Anyway who cares... Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Here's a possibility. She has known the guy for ages and this is the devious way she used to get him to fall out of the sky. It's amazing how many people fall out of the sky after a break-up/separation, isn't it? Since you weren't at all interested in what she did on the weekend, it was her chance to bring him out of the woodwork. They might be seriously dating each other as soon as next weekend. Are you being serious?? Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Are you being serious?? As serious as a heart attack. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Are you being serious?? I'm gonna call BS on this. Taken in context this is not, I repeat not how this would come out. She was quite clearly trying to make you jelous, and getting a reaction. She probably thinks you are seeing someone else and her ego has been severely damaged. The reason for this is that she was expecting you to be begging and pleading to her, now she's frightened she might actually lose you, it's this fear of loss that might, I repeat might bring her back. You need to play it cool though. If you feel angry, get a punchbag, go for a run, take up kickboxing but in front of her, you are cool as a cucumber. Your 007 right? Dirty Harry, cool under pressure. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 She has no internet connection at home. Not much chance of a facebook friendship then lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 I'm gonna call BS on this. Taken in context this is not, I repeat not how this would come out. She was quite clearly trying to make you jelous, and getting a reaction. She probably thinks you are seeing someone else and her ego has been severely damaged. The reason for this is that she was expecting you to be begging and pleading to her, now she's frightened she might actually lose you, it's this fear of loss that might, I repeat might bring her back. You need to play it cool though. If you feel angry, get a punchbag, go for a run, take up kickboxing but in front of her, you are cool as a cucumber. Your 007 right? Dirty Harry, cool under pressure. When we first separated she said she wanted to see how things go, she wanted to see if she could fall in love with me again. I don’t think she thinks I’m seeing anyone else as I had my girls 5 nights last week. She wanted a separation she’s got it. If for one second I thought that she was seeing someone else or has been with someone else, I would divorce her and wash my hands of her . Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 As serious as a heart attack. If this was the case , That would make life easy as I would just divorce her and move on! (It would be Beyond the realms of saving!) Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 When we first separated she said she wanted to see how things go, she wanted to see if she could fall in love with me again. I don’t think she thinks I’m seeing anyone else as I had my girls 5 nights last week. She wanted a separation she’s got it. If for one second I thought that she was seeing someone else or has been with someone else, I would divorce her and wash my hands of her . In my first marriage, my wife threw me out of the house, gave me the whole ILYB speech etc. I didn't contact her for 2 weeks, then she did what your wife is doing to try and get a reaction. However, it wasn't mouthing off about another man. It was big and loud though, She pretended to have taken an overdose, she feigned mental illness, she feigned another illness (in her family so quite probable) for 2 days, she stalked me to the point of leaving 20 voicemails some days, she tried to lose me my job by constantly calling at work, tried to jump out of a moving car.... The whole reason for this was that I wasn't begging her for another chance. I was enjoying life. Anyway in the end she would have moved heaven and earth to get us back together but after all this I was totally repelled by her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 (edited) ]My Wife is clearly confused; I think she thinks she is enjoying all of this going out doing drugs getting male attention, she is only 27! And maybe she sees me as this monster who tries to control her; she was the one who wanted to get married have kids. Now I’m the bad guy! Times New Roman]She has taken a huge step by moving out and all this crap about Loves me but not in love with me, I have offered her a divorce and she doesn’t want ii I don’t want to be anybodys security blanket! But I wasn’t the best husband in the world Edited January 24, 2011 by russell1968 Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 ]My Wife is clearly confused; I think she thinks she is enjoying all of this going out doing drugs getting male attention, she is only 27! And maybe she sees me as this monster who tries to control her; she was the one who wanted to get married have kids. Now I’m the bad guy! The sooner you stop caring what your wife thinks about you, her drug habits etc and concentrating on your own life the sooner you will be happier and she might be attracted back to you. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 ]And maybe she sees me as this monster who tries to control her; she was the one who wanted to get married have kids. Now I’m the bad guy! If you were that good at mind reading, you'd be Bill Gates rich. How can you have a clue what she's thinking?. It's a waste of time trying to interpret her every word and action. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Rob, you are right I’m acting like a baby, I need to man up! She is acting like something of the Jeremy Kyle show, got to be strong for my daughters. I honestly don’t know what has gotten into me. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Rob, you are right I’m acting like a baby, I need to man up! She is acting like something of the Jeremy Kyle show, got to be strong for my daughters. I honestly don’t know what has gotten into me. At the beginning of my situation, my wife said some terrbile things to me, making me believe there was no hope and we were done, the whole thing. Yet here we are 5 months later both working on things. Just bear that in mind. A. This is doable and B. it will take a long time, Patience is of the essence Link to post Share on other sites
Author russell1968 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 When she left this morning, she could hardly be bothered to look at me or say goodbye. Is this normal? I was pleasant but not overly chatty!She said i dont know why i bother talking this is like a one way conversation, i did't want to hear about her night out or facebook! Also due to the children I have to see her every couple of days! Do I keep this up or wait and wait for her to warm to me? I don’t want her to think I don’t care anymore! Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 180 time. Learn it and live it. Link to post Share on other sites
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