JamesM Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Overall comment regarding how we appear to readers....we only look as good or as bad as we write. Some of us may write very well and have the ability to express ourselves with words. Others may have a difficult time doing that but in person are incredibly gifted verbally. I have a sister who is incredible at writing AND on the telephone, yet she is very shy and won't know what to say if you meet her in person. Her ability to write emails and speak on the phone makes her look quite confident and assured of herself and yet the opposite is true. And so I think the only thing we actually judge is how someone writes. The other aspect is that some will reveal their deepest doubts and fear, while others simply don't allow anything but the positive to show about themselves even if they are conveying a problem about themselves. So while SACWA comes off a certain way, this may or may not be who she really is in person. Just as one person displays some arrogance here, or another may appear quite belligerent, and another quite confident...so may another appear very indecisive and despairing or anxious. It all comes down to our written skills, and how we choose to express ourselves. Anyhow...back to the topic.... Honestly, I think an email is simply wrong. If you have had sex with this guy three times, then IMO you have made some sort of connection with him that at least warrants a phone call. As someone else said, when sexual intimacy occurs, then it seems only logical that a breakup should be done in person. The person who is being left deserves some sort of answer to why this is suddenly over. How you leave him will determine how he feels for quite awhile. IMO it is only fair to treat him as you yourself would wish to be treated. And I have no doubt that if he broke it off with you via an email tomorrow, you would be angry and hurt and wonder why...even though you yourself are contemplating that very thing. BTW, what IS the reason you no longer like him besides the fact that you did not like sex with him and he seems to only want sex with you?
Star Gazer Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Overall comment regarding how we appear to readers....we only look as good or as bad as we write. So while SACWA comes off a certain way, this may or may not be who she really is in person. She has said this is the way she is...even at work. She focuses on the negative and puts herself down. But I agree with you a million times over about the email.
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Because they ego stroke each other. I love you both, but, it's the truth. And where in recent history have we publicly "ego-stroked" each other on LS...?
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Then why is USMC up your Jack Jones then, if you don't? How the heck do my feelings have anything to do with her need for external validation, or lack thereof?
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Exactly, if that was my girlfriend (not that I need to use the Internet) I would tell her to be quiet and discuss something worth discussing like a chocolate tea post melting in the swollen sun. And luckily I'm not so insecure that I need to tell her what to do or post on LS. What we say on LS is all on our own and isn't affected at all by the other person.
JamesM Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Because they ego stroke each other. I love you both, but, it's the truth. I agree, but would we wish any different? There are three choices when we date someone here on LS.... We ignore what he/she posts. We criticize what he/she posts. We defend or are in agreement with what he/she posts. If my wife were on here, then I would hope she would be kind enough not to criticize me too much on here when she can do that in private...unless I say something wrong about her. It is best that LS BFs and GFs either defend or keep silent. Ego stroking is allowed...the rest of us will take such comments as being quite biased.
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 And where in recent history have we publicly "ego-stroked" each other on LS...? Really? You're seriously asking this question?
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I agree, but would we wish any different? There are three choices when we date someone here on LS.... We ignore what he/she posts. We criticize what he/she posts. We defend or are in agreement with what he/she posts. If my wife were on here, then I would hope she would be kind enough not to criticize me too much on here when she can do that in private...unless I say something wrong about her. It is best that LS BFs and GFs either defend or keep silent. Ego stroking is allowed...the rest of us will take such comments as being quite biased. No, I don't wish any different. Based on what I've seen on here, they seem very compatible. But, if I am going to make a comment to the original poster on her thread, and then to be called out as someone who is externally validating the OP based on ONE SINGLE COMMENT, with rolls eyed towards me, c'mon now...
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 It is best that LS BFs and GFs either defend or keep silent. Ego stroking is allowed...the rest of us will take such comments as being quite biased. I agree, and I keep silent on things that are best handled in private, but I will make my voice heard when necessary. And I will admit that there are times when I will playfully banter, but I did that with the women on LS long before Star and I...I'm sure even CLC can attest to that...it's just my nature to do that on LS... So it just so happens to be targeted solely at one person now...and even then, I've toned it down a lot...
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Really? You're seriously asking this question? Yes, I am...perhaps we have different definitions of "ego stroking"...I'm sure I've done it before, but I legitimately don't know the last time it has happened...
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Hey, you wanted the truth mate. I tell it like is and at least I can score chicks in my own region, just saying like... I don't go outside my own region because I need to, it's because I want to. There's a difference.
JamesM Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Hey, you wanted the truth mate. I tell it like is and at least I can score chicks in my own region, just saying like... That is a low blow and uncalled for. Hopefully it is not the norm. As one who has had GFs in "my region," I found my true love many miles from my house. And my siblings all found their spouses either outside of their region or outside of their country. Sometimes the greatest treasure is right under your nose, yet in many cases, it is much farther away....as was my wife. Back on topic..... So, SACWA, could you return and let us know what you plan to do?
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 If you insist. I just thought your birds post smacked of hypocrisy that's all. So, I pulled her up on it, you can do the Knight in Shining Armour thing if you want to? I'll even play Knights of Cydonia in the background as you smite me down with your M4 Carbine... Birds post...? I like Muse, let's kick it! Alright. Corners, guys!
donnamaybe Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Pardon my British slang, in Britain we often refer to women as birds, not to be confused with the animals that soar through the air, though after seeing Naomi Campbell wear a peacock hat a few years ago, she sure could flock my nest and ruffle my feathers. And throw a cell phone at your head and kick your arse... Now, back to topic. I read the title of this thread, started to post then backed out. Now I have to just say WHAT in the HELL makes someone think that just because they let someone inside their domicile they have to have sex with them? I mean, WTF?
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Yes, I am...perhaps we have different definitions of "ego stroking"...I'm sure I've done it before, but I legitimately don't know the last time it has happened... Yes, I believe that we do.
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Bird=Star Pardon my British slang, in Britain we often refer to women as birds, not to be confused with the animals that soar through the air, though after seeing Naomi Campbell wear a peacock hat a few years ago, she sure could flock my nest and ruffle my feathers. Hahah, ok, your post makes A LOT more sense now... Well, once you brought me into the mix, it was game on.
USMCHokie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I feel SACWA just needs to be a bit more aggressive about what she wants and she shouldn't be afraid to show it. Agreed, but at the same time, she also needs to aggressively not pursue something she doesn't want...in essense, she needs to be more decisive in dating...
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Awww, did you want some attention? I want to hear about what SACWA's plan of action is, something tells me she has emailed him and called it off. Lol, no....
donnamaybe Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I want to hear about what SACWA's plan of action is, something tells me she has emailed him and called it off.Since that would be the easiest and least proactive route...
Star Gazer Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Then why is USMC up your Jack Jones then, if you don't? Just because someone pays another a compliment doesn't mean the recipient seeks out or needs said compliments to validate themselves. I don't fish for, seek out, or need compliments from him or anyone else to feel good about myself. HE CHOOSES to provide them because that's how he expresses his feelings. His feelings have nothing to do with whether I seek/need external validation...which I just don't. I'm sorry that you guys need that attention and validation, it's really unfortunate.
Chocolat Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 You feed off each other like Burns and Smithers. Still, I couldn't care less what you do or don't do, but it gets irritating to read your carry on in tonnes of threads, that's for sure. It usually goes like this. :lmao: Too funny... and too true! OG/SaC - I think there is a difference between being arrogant (which some posters clearly are) and being confident. Confidence, imo, just *is* - it is not announced. Kamille, who has given you excellent advice in this thread, is a good example of someone who is confident and caring with no hint of arrogance. I think this is someone you could learn from.
donnamaybe Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 At least she hasn't just ignored him like lots of women do. She's not skirting her responsibilities, that's for sure. But she WAS thinking about it in another thread until nearly everyone lit into her over the notion.I really want her to find a good fella who will treat her well, she deserves it. I do too. I really think she's a good gal, but she has a long way to go before she can even entertain the thought of trying to form a romantic R with anyone - IMO of course.
Tiberius Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Just break it up with him if you are not interested and look for somone you are attracted to.
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