Author OceanGirl Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Maybe I should just text him that I don't plan on having sex?
dispatch3d Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I feel that 8pm->11am text lag is a bad omen. He said sorry for the slow reply but didn't explain why So it's cool if you don't respond to two texts but if he takes 15 hours to respond to one, then he's in deep ****? Uhhhhhhh.... like what kind of relationship are you looking for where this is okay? One second you're mad there's been no exclusivity talk the next you're giving reasons he's not into you or you aren't into him.... Maybe you just like the drama/suffering of this whole thing....
dispatch3d Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Maybe I should just text him that I don't plan on having sex? Sweet maybe next week he'll text you saying I don't feel like having sex with you tonight. Hope that's okay with you. I can't tell if you're serious or just have a really good sense of humour. Fridge dying, now this.......
Author OceanGirl Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 So it's cool if you don't respond to two texts but if he takes 15 hours to respond to one, then he's in deep ****? Uhhhhhhh.... like what kind of relationship are you looking for where this is okay? One second you're mad there's been no exclusivity talk the next you're giving reasons he's not into you or you aren't into him.... Maybe you just like the drama/suffering of this whole thing.... I don't want to be used for sex regardless if I am into the guy or not....
eerie_reverie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 That musician guy is still calling me. I just ignored about 3 calls from him. He wants to catch up Yeah, I am into him even less that this guy. Spookie, I may be wasting time but there are no other viable options at all. Well, no viable options here either, but I'm choosing to be single rather than pursuing the non-viable ones. I think my time is better spent workin on my fitness/ reading/ making friends than trying not to have sex with guys I have no respect for. Personally, I think your time is better spent on other pursuits, too.
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Alright, let's see if we have this straight. You do not like him. You did not enjoy having sex with him. You shut your phone off right after you had sex. You dislike the fact that it takes him more time than you'd like to respond to your texts. You dislike the fact that he didn't explain why it took him longer than you'd prefer for him to respond to your text (which was what, a few hours?). I don't think your behavior is obsessive. I think, it is something far more extreme than that....
eerie_reverie Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Alright, let's see if we have this straight. You do not like him. You did not enjoy having sex with him. You shut your phone off right after you had sex. You dislike the fact that it takes him more time than you'd like to respond to your texts. You dislike the fact that he didn't explain why it took him longer than you'd prefer for him to respond to your text (which was what, a few hours?). I don't think your behavior is obsessive. I think, it is something far more extreme than that.... I think you are bored and need better hobbies and more interesting friends. Hell... I need this too. So do a lot of LSer IMO. Can't we start some kind of support group?
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I think you are bored and need better hobbies and more interesting friends. Hell... I need this too. So do a lot of LSer IMO. Can't we start some kind of support group? Not really, but thanks.
dispatch3d Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Meh new sacwa>old sacwa. She's not as needy/overthetop as she used to be. Her concerns have turned more humerous where before they were just ridiculous. The 13 hours thing you are overanalyzing things. It SEEEMS like if the sex was better you would be more into this. That's not really a loss.... and your hot. This isn't a looks problem.
dispatch3d Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 fwiw sacwa since you seem good-intentioned google "drama triangles" and if you can pick up a book called "power of now". They'd both probably help. However, I am not participating in this drama triangle any longer !!!! Don't live in triangles!!!
Author OceanGirl Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Alright, let's see if we have this straight. You do not like him. You did not enjoy having sex with him. You shut your phone off right after you had sex. You dislike the fact that it takes him more time than you'd like to respond to your texts. You dislike the fact that he didn't explain why it took him longer than you'd prefer for him to respond to your text (which was what, a few hours?). I don't think your behavior is obsessive. I think, it is something far more extreme than that.... Like what? Please enlighten me.....
Author OceanGirl Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 BTW CLC, honey, if a guy I was dating ever texted me that I had stubble on my legs - I would ditch him right away. You really need to respect yourself more.
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 BTW CLC, honey, if a guy I was dating ever texted me that I had stubble on my legs - I would ditch him right away. You really need to respect yourself more. Over that comment? Don't be silly.
Author OceanGirl Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Over that comment? Don't be silly. Exactly. That comment says so much about him....
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Exactly. That comment says so much about him.... Maybe so, maybe not. Time will tell.
Allisha Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Exactly. That comment says so much about him.... What the.. Please tell me this is a freaking joke? This is the same guy you ignored 5 phonecalls (probably a bit obssessive, I must admit) from? This is the same guy you turned your phone off because of? ....and now, you're creating more threads about him and bellyaching about his communication? I just find this unbelievable. Seriously, I don't mean to sound rude, but I honestly think you should spend some time on your own and leave the dating world for a while. Regarding the question in the thread title - just tell him you want to go out or that you want to lay off the sex for a while. or you could stop wasting your time with a guy you've already described as "boring" to be with?
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Not you... SAC. Sorry spookie, and I am sorry if I sounded too harsh before. My concern is for this man who really doesn't seem to have done anything to warrant the op's behavior towards him. Its one thing if he mislead or mistreated her in some manner, but it really doesn't appear that he has. This stems from the op's concern that he's not physicially into her, which isn't so, and he seems to be the one who is going to pay the price for it. Correct me if I am wrong, but that is just how I view based on what i've read thus far.
sweetjasmine Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Another thing that concerns me: we have never had exclusivity talk. Or a relationship talk. Or any of the "where this is going" talks. Of course, exclusivity worries me. For all I know he could be ****uing 100 girls on the side. If you're that worried about it, why did you initiate sex with him 3 times? I don't want to be used for sex regardless if I am into the guy or not.... Again, you initiated it and then you ignored him. How is HE using YOU for sex? And if you don't like him, why are you going out with him again? If you don't like him, why do you say "when we're making out"? Why are you planning on getting physical with him if you don't like him and don't want to have sex with him? Seriously, you're making absolutely no sense. You're going to drive this guy crazy and break his heart if you haven't already. It's unfair.
EasyHeart Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 So when he is over and we are making out, what do I do? Tell me in words how to tell him that there will be no sex. 1. Don't make out with him. 2. Just say "No". Another thing that concerns me: we have never had exclusivity talk. Or a relationship talk. Or any of the "where this is going" talks. Of course, exclusivity worries me. For all I know he could be ****uing 100 girls on the side. I always kind of wanted the guy to start these talks, but he is so damn passive that I doubt he ever will. I want to say something when I see him, how do I go about it? Should I just ask him flat out if he is dating anyone else (or is that too forward/clingy?) "Passive"? Why on Earth should he have any "talk" with you? You effed him a car and then effed him two more times that night. He has no motivation to have a "talk". You don't seriously think he wants a relationship with you, do you? He might have at one time, but why would he want one now? So you think he took this long to reply to my text because he is playing games?You like playing games, but that doesn't mean everyone does. Maybe he was busy? Maybe he doesn't sit around obsessing over every woman he goes out with? Maybe I should just text him that I don't plan on having sex?Do it!! This would be hilarious! I don't want to be used for sex regardless if I am into the guy or not....No one can use you for sex unless you LET THEM!!! It's YOUR choice!!! Well, no viable options here either, but I'm choosing to be single rather than pursuing the non-viable ones. I think my time is better spent workin on my fitness/ reading/ making friends than trying not to have sex with guys I have no respect for. Personally, I think your time is better spent on other pursuits, too.Please, please, please listen to Spookie!!!!!
LisaLee Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Maybe I should just text him that I don't plan on having sex? Do it!! This would be hilarious! LOL:lmao: But, seriously... ugh, talk about a mess. Poor fella...
Star Gazer Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Spookie, I may be wasting time but there are no other viable options at all. So??? You'd rather obsess over the WRONG guy who you think is boring and horrible in bed, than alone enjoying your own company?? Until you can enjoy your own company, no man ever will.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Not too long ago, sacwa, I took exception to a post you made on one of your threads where you expressed that there was NO ONE whose company you preferred to your own. What happened? Regarding the sex avoidance, I suggest that you get a chastity belt, don it, and throw the key into the ocean.
Author OceanGirl Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 (edited) So??? You'd rather obsess over the WRONG guy who you think is boring and horrible in bed, than alone enjoying your own company?? Until you can enjoy your own company, no man ever will. I just spoke to my mum and told her everything. (I hid dating this guy completely from her). She basically said "Please don't torture yourself with forcing a relationship with someone you don't even like. You have seemed so unhappy the last few times I saw you. Actually, a lot unhappier than you were when you were on your own, please just end it". I think I am going to take her advice. She knows me better than anyone. I guess that I have been trying to prove to myself that I am emotionally healthy enough to have a relationship. My heart is just not in this though. The simple truth is: I just don't like him enough... That is why my actions have been so conflicted. This guy is a really good catch on paper... but the real life chemistry is simply not there. Edited October 5, 2010 by OceanGirl
Star Gazer Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I guess that I have been trying to prove to myself that I am emotionally healthy enough to have a relationship. I think this thread is evidence that you're not. If you were, you wouldn't have initiated sex with him in his car, you wouldn't have had sex with him the second and third time after you'd already determined he'd not good and boring, you wouldn't have ignored his calls and then freaked out when he took too long to respond...the list goes on.
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