Alma Mobley Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I read some of your threads and saw how much pain the other guy (and your ex) put you through, so I am happy for you and hope it works out! Just work on not getting attached too quickly.
Els Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Disagree as much as you like, it is true. However, she said she wasnt looking for a relationship. Hey, im just telling it like it is. It is relevant to the topic at hand, and she should know this. Men want to get laid. Some might wait six dates, many wont. GL Shadow. If he skips her because of that, he definitely wouldn't be right for her.
Kamille Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I love how some posters are out there with the agenda to get as many men laid as possible. I guess they like to have a little competition. This isn't about Shadow's cutie's needs. What's important are Shadow's needs and her ability to recognize and express them. Hopefully she will be able to identify when she is ready to sleep with the next guy she wants to sleep with and won't do it as an attempt to get a guy to like her. Hopefully she will do it because she feels safe, respected and knows the guy values her. And women want to get laid too. Most of us also like a little respect to come with the sex.
welikeincrowds Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Wow, that's so cute! "I'm irritated that he's slithered his way into my brain." I've written those very same words before; it's so obvious in hindsight, isn't it? Courting is a little forced and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just an old tradition. Don't let the fact that this happens to have started by a different, "more natural" (modern) process let you off your guard. He sounds great. But it's worth saying that you have such a large support community here, that a thread like this full of "He sounds great!" is, I'm sure, a quick way to erode at that perfect "no expectations" attitude you have right now. Don't lose sight of that.
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Men want to get laid. Some might wait six dates, many wont. Immature men focus solely on getting laid. Better she weed those types out pronto.
Author shadowplay Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 Wow, that's so cute! "I'm irritated that he's slithered his way into my brain." I've written those very same words before; it's so obvious in hindsight, isn't it? Courting is a little forced and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just an old tradition. Don't let the fact that this happens to have started by a different, "more natural" (modern) process let you off your guard. He sounds great. But it's worth saying that you have such a large support community here, that a thread like this full of "He sounds great!" is, I'm sure, a quick way to erode at that perfect "no expectations" attitude you have right now. Don't lose sight of that. I realized that part of what seemed so natural about it was I didn't really do any of the work. He took the lead and was bold enough to make a move fast when it became obvious to him that the attraction was mutual. I guess I'm so used to shy, pussy-footing guys that it was pretty unexpected, but in a good way.
a_woman Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 funny how being hammered makes everything seem "natural" yes. it is also funny how mainly the men appear to be picking up on this. the women are making the usual naive comments.
a_woman Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I realized that part of what seemed so natural about it was I didn't really do any of the work. He took the lead and was bold enough to make a move fast when it became obvious to him that the attraction was mutual. I guess I'm so used to shy, pussy-footing guys that it was pretty unexpected, but in a good way. you shouldn't attach importance to a drunken encounter. wait until you have spent time with him sober
Author shadowplay Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 you shouldn't attach importance to a drunken encounter. wait until you have spent time with him sober You have a great ability to find the negative spin in all of my threads, don't you? If you read the rest of my thread, after my last bad dating experience, I'm NOT attaching any importance to it. I'm going to get to know him a little better tonight at the fair, and see where things go. I won't be crushed if that's nowhere.
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 You have a great ability to find the negative spin in all of my threads, don't you? If you read the rest of my thread, after my last bad dating experience, I'm NOT attaching any importance to it. I'm going to get to know him a little better tonight at the fair, and see where things go. I won't be crushed if that's nowhere.And why, oh WHY do people keep missing the fact that you've already been in contact and out with this guy and friends on several occasions already? Perhaps they choose to not notice so they can have something s#!tty to say.
Author shadowplay Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 And why, oh WHY do people keep missing the fact that you've already been in contact and out with this guy and friends on several occasions already? Perhaps they choose to not notice so they can have something s#!tty to say. Yeah, I don't even bothering mentioning that since I know they'll find some negative spin to explain it.
BentSpine Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 And, for the record, just because a woman has strong opinions does NOT mean she's ''crazy''.I think it's crazy to be attracted to a woman with strong opinions: her sense of security hinges on the fact that she wins every argument.
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I think it's crazy to be attracted to a woman with strong opinions: her sense of security hinges on the fact that she wins every argument.So a man with strong opinons has a sense of security that hinges on the fact that he wins every argument? See how dumb that logic sounds? Fortunately, my man isn't insecure and LOVES me, opinions and all.
Author shadowplay Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 I think it's crazy to be attracted to a woman with strong opinions: her sense of security hinges on the fact that she wins every argument. lame... Besides, I don't really win arguments with him. The first time we met, we argued a lot about movies, and neither of us really "won."
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 lame... Besides, I don't really win arguments with him. The first time we met, we argued a lot about movies, and neither of us really "won."Yeah. If someone has the mentality that there MUST be a "winner" and a "loser," doesn't that say much more about THEM? The beauty of two people with strong opinions who actually LISTEN to each other's viewpoints and discuss them is that you often both learn something.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I think it's crazy to be attracted to a woman with strong opinions: her sense of security hinges on the fact that she wins every argument. NOT. "Her sense of security" comes from a much deeper rooted and profound place than one of winning arguments. Well, it's nice to know that there are still some men out there for the weak, uninformed, wishy-washy gals with no opinions! Doesn't say much for YOUR sense of security, though, BentSpine. Strong opinions have nothing to do with crazy, either.
BentSpine Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Yeah. If someone has the mentality that there MUST be a ''winner'' and a ''loser'' doesn't that say much more about THEM? The beauty of two people with strong opinions who actually LISTEN to each other's viewpoints and discuss them is that you often both learn something.I like the way you write, donnamaybe. I'll try to explain myself better despite my substandard writing: It's all in the word 'strong', which is an emphasising term. But what's considered strong in physiotherapy is probably not strong in the gym. Looking at both groups separately though, in both cases the word 'strong' takes on the meaning 'more than average'. Now, describing ONESELF as more than average is very likely wishful thinking and a sign of insecurity, that's my view. But words are cheap, actions are closer to the truth. If a friend of mine during many years always showed up on time, I could conclude that being on time is something that he holds a strong opinion on, since he's more punctual than most. In this case, in my mind, he would obviously have a strong opinion without it stemming from insecurity. Within one month however it's difficult to judge one's character. I'd say if someone tells you you have a strong opinion about something within one month it's because you're shouting so loud you're trying to convince yourself. Calm is healthy. This is my hopefully level headed opinion.
Star Gazer Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Looking at both groups separately though, in both cases the word 'strong' takes on the meaning 'more than average'. Now, describing ONESELF as more than average is very likely wishful thinking and a sign of insecurity, that's my view. That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. I can confidently say I'm above-average in several respects. Are you suggesting I'm actually insecure?
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 BS, you seem to have a very narrow view on this subject. One need not shout to come across as NOT a doormat, willing to bend to every one else's (men's) opinions on given subjects. I find that many men label a woman as "opinionated" if she merely has an opinion and - heaven forbid - allows people to see that side of her personality. Shadow's friend actually appears to appreciate this side of her which indicates a healthy dose of self esteem on his part, as well as an appreciation for the mind of a woman.
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. I can confidently say I'm above-average in several respects. Are you suggesting I'm actually insecure?Maybe being around someone who is confident in the skills they possess in certain areas makes THAT person insecure. Projection.
BentSpine Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I can confidently say I'm above-average in several respects. Are you suggesting I'm actually insecure?Knowledge doesn't make one insecure. Boasting does.
Star Gazer Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Knowledge doesn't make one insecure. Boasting does. Where's the boasting you're referring to??
donnamaybe Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Where's the boasting you're referring to?? When a man states his confidence in certain areas, it's called "knowledge." When a woman does it, it's "boasting."
anne1707 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 When a man states his confidence in certain areas, it's called "knowledge." When a woman does it, it's "boasting." Just like a confident man is assertive whilst a confident woman is aggressive
welikeincrowds Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Gender role thread incoming, better log out now while I still can :'(
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