ComeUndone Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 I can't remember if you clarified this already, but when you last talked to him was he still sick?
Author tigressA Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 (edited) I can't remember if you clarified this already, but when you last talked to him was he still sick? Yes. He called when he was still out--after he'd gotten his phone from his office and checked the messages I had left him, when he was at the pharmacy getting medicine. I imagine whatever he got must've really knocked him out. I'm not concerned about it. I'm going to wait until he feels better. I've chosen to trust what he's told me so far. When we talk, if I notice any inconsistencies, that's when I'll be wary. And of course, I will stick to my plan of action re: his active profile. Edited September 12, 2010 by tigressA
Pink Cupcakes Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 You two fight and argue all the time....so it's not surprising he is not discounting other options. His heart doesn't seem in this, I'm afraid. Really? You guys think there is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that he has been regularly logging into his account on, yes, I'm making this clear once again, A DATING SITE, for weeks after HE initiated an exclusive status with ME? You honestly see nothing wrong with that? You think that I have a desire to "sabotage" my relationship with this guy for "nothing"? I just am really struggling to see how you can think that that is "nothing".
Pink Cupcakes Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 She always states "he's dumped" "he's gone" then he does the undesirable behavior anyway, then she takes him back, so Tigress isn't the strong woman she makes herself out to be. Geez, the cool level headed Tigress would have blasted this guy by now after the above. I hope you have it out with him.
ComeUndone Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Ok. Here's one thing I want to add: Maybe the guy really was/is sick, who knows. The thing is, if this is how he operates when he is sick, then is that really something you want to deal with in the future? Going MIA, especially when he states he will contact you... not being thoughtful enough to offer any form of communication just to let you know what's going on on his end... that's just not something that jives with your MO. So perhaps you two are, at the very least, different when it comes to consideration of your SO (or however you care to term your relationship). I think that's something you should consider. The reality is, even if the average male poster on this thread thinks that you are over-reacting, if YOU have a certain expectation in a specific situation, and your SO doesn't think/behave like you, then it will likely cause friction. It doesn't mean that you are wrong, or that he is wrong.... just maybe that you two are different in that regard. Plenty of other men out there would call you if they were sick, and plenty of other women may not care one iota if he went MIA for a few days, especially after hearing that he was sick... just may be that you two aren't exactly aligned in this situation. As far as the dating site... I haven't ever used one so maybe I'm not the best one to give you advice, but speaking from experience with men, some of them just tend to be clueless as to what things can impact their SO. Seems perfectly logical for you to be bent about him having logged in, but he may truly be ignorant about that. He may not have logged on there for any deceptive reason whatsoever... I can see how it could be innocent on his part, but he won't know your position until you tell him. Although it seems obvious to us that he should not still have an active profile, he may not have thought about it at all... it may not have even dawned on him that it would bother you, or that he doesn't need his profile anymore and therefore he should deactivate it. Sometimes you have to help them connect the dots. If he is unwilling or hesitant, well than that's a different situation.
Author tigressA Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 I think you're bang-on in that post, ComeUndone. You're right; we must be rather different with regard to communication in this sort of situation. This obviously hasn't come up before, hence me creating this thread. We just really need to talk about our expectations/boundaries.
Star Gazer Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 We just really need to talk about our expectations/boundaries. Isn't that what I said, pages ago??
Author tigressA Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 Isn't that what I said, pages ago?? It takes awhile for me to get it. Hence the extra pages.
Author tigressA Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 Yeah, I had disabled it, but I re-enabled it--that was how I was able to find out he was still active and had very recently logged in. I still have mine up. What you've suggested, Sad, sounds good especially since I have mine up again. We can disable our profiles together.
K'aycie Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 you got owned. Mike in LA. Go away troll.
Author tigressA Posted September 13, 2010 Author Posted September 13, 2010 Well, he called today. Three times, and left a voicemail. The first two times I was away from my phone (5:30 and 7:30). He called again a few minutes ago and we talked briefly. He said he was sleeping off his illness yesterday after he called, which is what I assumed when he didn't call last night. He sounded a lot better, and apparently he feels a lot better since he said he was at his friend's house (one of the friends I met last weekend). He said he'll call me again when he gets home. I plan on discussing his open account with him then.
ComeUndone Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Good luck with your discussion.... let us know what happens!
Author tigressA Posted September 13, 2010 Author Posted September 13, 2010 I posted an update thread already :bunny:
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