How do i let this girl down easy???

[Citizen Erased]

not anymore....didn't you see Tonys thread on DDs? Digital Dumpings

Do you do everything because other people are doing it? If so, learn to think for yourself.

[carhill]

Send her the bill for it if it's such a problem.

I had this visual of my computer spitting out an invoice for 'dating supplies'

[Citizen Erased]

I had this visual of my computer spitting out an invoice for 'dating supplies'

 

The idea for this could make me a lot of money...

[boogieboy]

usually i just disappear without communicating anything. since she was so "nice" she deserved some type of closure. i lost out too. i payed for all our dates. i had to re-arrange my schedule to fit hers due to her having a kid. i asked her to make me dinner sometime and her response was "no". now i have to find someone else and go thru all the getting-to-know-u baloney again

 

 

indeed, i've got a date with another girl for friday nite

Maybe Im nuts, but all the women Ive dated offer me a home cooked meal within a week. She said NO to that? I think between that and no sex, text breakup was fine.

 

Even if you told her on the phone that you werent feelin it, she would have been pissed, and then you would have had to explain why to her, which you didnt want to do. She was going to take it hard regardless.

[carhill]

 

The idea for this could make me a lot of money...

Knowing me, I'd take the business meal tax deduction, since it's inevitable that she'd ask me 'what do you do?'. Dating for fun and taxes. Generous terms and a prompt payment discount.

[St. Nick]

Who said it was a relationship? Sorry, male or female, two dates, two years with someone, letting someone down through a text is lame.

 

The name he has on here is clearly not reflective of his actual personality, given the recent threads of his. Crap he posts about my 18 year old brother knows the answers to. So no, I don't think that is a reason to give him crap.

My argument is that it's only an obligation to let someone down after you've consummated a relationship with sex. If not, there shouldn't be any shame or anything about how you end it.

[pandagirl]

My argument is that it's only an obligation to let someone down after you've consummated a relationship with sex. If not, there shouldn't be any shame or anything about how you end it.

 

So if you dated someone for two months and didn't have sex, it'd be OK to dump someone via text?

 

But if you've been seeing someone for two weeks and had sex, that requires more effort?

 

It's not about sex, it's about being respectful.

[Pyro]

I think you should change your username to betamale now.

 

Sex or no sex, its common courtesy, polite, mature, and adult-like to make a phone call or do it to their face.

 

A young, naive, insecure scared teenager texts things like that.

[St. Nick]

So if you dated someone for two months and didn't have sex, it'd be OK to dump someone via text?

 

But if you've been seeing someone for two weeks and had sex, that requires more effort?

 

It's not about sex, it's about being respectful.

But why didn't she have sex with him though? That is a big question. She went out with him 6 times and still didn't feel comfortable with him enough to have sex. Hence, he was not her lover. I argue that you only should show respectful consideration to a lover.

[St. Nick]

I think you should change your username to betamale now.

 

Sex or no sex, its common courtesy, polite, mature, and adult-like to make a phone call or do it to their face.

 

A young, naive, insecure scared teenager texts things like that.

LOL. It still seems to me that it's because of his username and his gender that folks are giving him a hard time. I truly believe that if the OP had been female then this wouldn't blow up so big.

[Johnny M]

So nice girls finish last as well??

 

If they are unattractive - yes.

[Pyro]

LOL. It still seems to me that it's because of his username and his gender that folks are giving him a hard time. I truly believe that if the OP had been female then this wouldn't blow up so big.

 

regardless of gender my feelings stay the same.

 

Again, its common courtesy and flat out rude. I know you wouldn't prefer to be broken up with through text.

[pandagirl]

But why didn't she have sex with him though? That is a big question. She went out with him 6 times and still didn't feel comfortable with him enough to have sex. Hence, he was not her lover. I argue that you only should show respectful consideration to a lover.

 

Wow, really? Man, she must've been a prude.

[St. Nick]

regardless of gender my feelings stay the same.

 

Again, its common courtesy and flat out rude. I know you wouldn't prefer to be broken up with through text.

And my feeling is that he didn't break up anything. Since nothing was consummated, there was nothing to break up.

[Pyro]

And my feeling is that he didn't break up anything. Since nothing was consummated, there was nothing to break up.

 

for all we know she was starting to like him.

[tkgirl]

normally i would just split but since i've gone out with her for a month i sent her a text message. i figured it was better than nothing and at least she'll know. she sounded pretty pissed off.

 

the txt convo went something like this:

 

Dawn: So i don't have my kid this wknd. Can we get together.

Alpha: Sorry but i'm busy all wknd. I need time to think and i'm really not feeling the chemistry any more

Dawn: Thats a nice thing to say in a text - whatever

Alpha: Sorry

Dawn: Don't be sorry, i should have listened when you said you weren't a nice guy

 

end of transmission

 

 

omg... what little respect I had left for you is completely gone...

 

and I can't believe you were such a wuss to do this over a text too...

 

you're no alpha... but something else that begins with an "A"

[St. Nick]

LMAO! It's official, alphamale, you are worse than Joseph Stalin. You meet go to dinner with a woman who is too cheap to pay her own food; makes you work around her schedule; won't cook for you; and won't even have sex with you on a first date, and because you text her with a shallow message you are now an ******* with a capital "A". Jeez, not only did you waste your time and your money, you should also feel bad.

 

Take my advice: you gave more to time and effort than many guys would have, so you should feel proud of yourself for doing charity work. You paid for her dinner so you're a good guy for being so charitable.

[tkgirl]

LMAO! It's official, alphamale, you are worse than Joseph Stalin. You meet go to dinner with a woman who is too cheap to pay her own food; makes you work around her schedule; won't cook for you; and won't even have sex with you on a first date, and because you text her with a shallow message you are now an ******* with a capital "A". Jeez, not only did you waste your time and your money, you should also feel bad.

 

Take my advice: you gave more to time and effort than many guys would have, so you should feel proud of yourself for doing charity work. You paid for her dinner so you're a good guy for being so charitable.

 

 

for the record... the reason I think... alpha(?)male is an A-hole is not because he broke up with her... I think he should have done that a long time ago! and even told him to back on the Valentine's Day thread he started. It was obvious to me that he's never really been into her from the beginning...

anyho, the reason I'm so PO'd is that he did it in a TEXT and sounded so non-chalant about it too... like he had no concern for her feelings at all.

I mean, he started this thread asking how he could let her down easy, and this is what he came up with???

[boogieboy]

for the record... the reason I think... alpha(?)male is an A-hole is not because he broke up with her... I think he should have done that a long time ago! and even told him to back on the Valentine's Day thread he started. It was obvious to me that he's never really been into her from the beginning...

anyho, the reason I'm so PO'd is that he did it in a TEXT and sounded so non-chalant about it too... like he had no concern for her feelings at all.

I mean, he started this thread asking how he could let her down easy, and this is what he came up with???

 

How do you suggest that he should have told her without blowing smoke up her ass? He was never going to do it face to face, so what do you suggest he should have said in text?

[spiderowl]

Might seem a stupid question but how did you end up dating someone you didn't fancy and wasn't all that attracted to? I hope it wasn't that you were just in it for the sex, a quick fling and then off again situation, 'cept it didn't quite go like that. She seems a wise girl.

 

Anyway, I think you need to say you like her but are just not feeling that chemistry that you need. She's not going to be happy that you've left it this long to decide that. Just in case you were thinking along these lines ... I don't think that having sex with her to see if the chemistry is really there before leaving her would be a good idea!

[tkgirl]

How do you suggest that he should have told her without blowing smoke up her ass? He was never going to do it face to face, so what do you suggest he should have said in text?

 

yeah, I know... but at least he could have done it over the phone... and been a little nicer about it. The whole text thing was pretty cold...

[Sharla]

Usually, when people feel chemistry that's why they go from date 1, to date 2, so on and so forth.

 

I think in your case, you felt no chemistry because she didn't sleep with you.

 

You seem to need physical intimacy in order to feel chemistry, which is fine, but it's evident that you really weren't into her from the first date (because she didn't kiss you).

 

Yeah you spent money on her, but you wasted her time which is more valuable than money, IMO, and your attitude towards it is pretty crappy.

[tami-chan]

we went out like 5 or 6 times. i don't owe her anything. as a matter of fact she owes me like $200 for her half of all the dinners and drinks

 

LOL...this is too funny!

[St. Nick]

Might seem a stupid question but how did you end up dating someone you didn't fancy and wasn't all that attracted to? I hope it wasn't that you were just in it for the sex, a quick fling and then off again situation, 'cept it didn't quite go like that. She seems a wise girl.

 

Anyway, I think you need to say you like her but are just not feeling that chemistry that you need. She's not going to be happy that you've left it this long to decide that. Just in case you were thinking along these lines ... I don't think that having sex with her to see if the chemistry is really there before leaving her would be a good idea!

 

Usually, when people feel chemistry that's why they go from date 1, to date 2, so on and so forth.

 

I think in your case, you felt no chemistry because she didn't sleep with you.

 

You seem to need physical intimacy in order to feel chemistry, which is fine, but it's evident that you really weren't into her from the first date (because she didn't kiss you).

 

Yeah you spent money on her, but you wasted her time which is more valuable than money, IMO, and your attitude towards it is pretty crappy.

 

I was about to respond to spider's post in a similar way, Sharla. Most women don't realize that men lose attraction to a woman the longer she withholds sex. My theory is that he lost interest when it took too long. Withholding sex usually has the negative effect of making a guy lose interest in a woman and start looking toward other sources for comfort (i.e. another woman or porn).

 

yeah, I know... but at least he could have done it over the phone... and been a little nicer about it. The whole text thing was pretty cold...

There was never any consummation that it was a relationship. You people keep arguing that he should have let her down as if there was a relationship. Once again, there was not any relationship here. As a result, he shouldn't act like there was one by ending it the way you suggest.

 

It was more like a job interview where he's constantly being asked to come in for repeat interviews. If he's asked to come in a 7th time for more tests and interviews, should he give a 2 week notice and formally refuse? No, because it's stupid. He wasn't an employee.

 

After 6 dates there wasn't any consummation of a relationship, so acting like they were in a relationship by formally letting her go is stupid. He wasn't her lover. He was just some dude who bought dinner for her 6 times. He was more like her welfare provider than anything close to being her lover.

[Sharla]

I was about to respond to spider's post in a similar way, Sharla. Most women don't realize that men lose attraction to a woman the longer she withholds sex. My theory is that he lost interest when it took too long. Withholding sex usually has the negative effect of making a guy lose interest in a woman and start looking toward other sources for comfort (i.e. another woman or porn).

 

I think it's safe to say that there was no interest after the first date.

 

But its a tad crass to go on a public forum and constantly put someone down because of it. This is not a one time occurence, as it seems to be a recurrent theme for Alpha, at least on here.