Using a gift card on a first date??

[alphamale]

This just seems kind of cheap to me...thoughts?

gift cards are the same as money

[Adunaphel]

We haven't even gone out, yet. This is how he chose to ask me out: "hey, I have a gift card to (restaurant) if you want to go out..."

 

I think it is a very cute way to ask someone out, and also a very classy way to make it clear that the dinner is on you without embarassing the other person or making her feel obliged in some way.

Also, gift cards do not grow on trees (I wish they did! ).

I would actually feel honored if someone chose to share with me a gift he received.

[BWLoca]

The reason he postponed it was because he works crazy hours. He sent me a text about it around 6am on Saturday.

I don't think it's shallow of me to question his tactics. Judging by the number of posts, it's not exactly something that happens every day.

[harmfulsweetz]

It's not something I'd think of to complain about either. If I am interested in a guy, I'm interested and happy he asked me out, not focusing on how he's paying for it! To me, that is shallow. Calling someone cheap, because they choose to pay with a gift card is shallow. Should he dig out the gold, perhaps?

[Lizzie60]

So if a guy is being cheap or tacky paying with a giftcard, what does that make the girl for mooching a free dinner?

 

 

Best post on this thread..

[harmfulsweetz]

Best post on this thread..

 

 

Lol. It so is.

[BWLoca]

It'd be shallow if I chose not to go or judged him based on that act alone. I haven't formulated a complete opinion of the guy, yet. I simply asked for others' thoughts.

[Confusedalways]

I don't see how the OP is being shallow at all. The first date is all about making an impression and all he simply had to do was when the bill came put the gift card in there without her knowing and this would all be fine. I mean 4th date and beyond, a gift card is fine to use and talk about- but the first? I don't see how that woo's somebody.

[berrieh]

This just seems kind of cheap to me...thoughts?

 

Wouldn't bother me, depending on how it was said. Could just be he's a bit awkward and it was a good way to ask for a first date. I used to do something like this (as a girl though) when I was in restaurant marketing and was flirting with a new boy... I'd ask him if he wanted a free meal because I had to go do a 'Shop' of one of my restaurants. That's how my ex and I had our 'first date' I guess. (Then he took me mini golfing.)

 

Now, if he NEVER goes out ANYWHERE he doesn't have a giftcard.... that's cheap.

 

I like men who are a bit frugal, though. I mean, if you wind up together, the way he treats his money = the way he'll treat your money later.

[harmfulsweetz]

I think it is shallow to worry about it, enough to post on a forum about it anyway. If you really like him, be happy he asked you out and forget about it.

[dreamergrl]

I think it is shallow to worry about it, enough to post on a forum about it anyway. If you really like him, be happy he asked you out and forget about it.

 

Agreed. The judgment was already made. It shows it in the first post.

[harmfulsweetz]

Agreed. The judgment was already made. It shows it in the first post.

 

 

Yep, she hasn't even given the poor guy a chance before finding fault with him! It could easily have been an excuse to ask her, a prop if you will. Also, judging someone based on how they choose to pay for a date is shallow. Each to their own I guess, I would actually not give it a second thought if I liked him. The words 'gift card' wouldn't have registered through my excitement at the prospect of a date with him.

[dreamergrl]

Yep, she hasn't even given the poor guy a chance before finding fault with him! It could easily have been an excuse to ask her, a prop if you will. Also, judging someone based on how they choose to pay for a date is shallow. Each to their own I guess, I would actually not give it a second thought if I liked him. The words 'gift card' wouldn't have registered through my excitement at the prospect of a date with him.

 

Right, I'd be pleased he ask me out. I'd take it as he thought of me when he wanted to go to this place. Plus, a lot of people do need a 'reason' to ask someone out, because they are a bit shy.

[harmfulsweetz]

I think people forget how nerve racking it is to ask someone out, risking rejection, so by making it seem more casual, makes it easier. Or at least seems to lessen the rejection and embarrassment.

[Art_Critic]

The words 'gift card' wouldn't have registered through my excitement at the prospect of a date with him.

 

Have you ever been asked out for a first date in that manner ?..

[dreamergrl]

I think people forget how nerve racking it is to ask someone out, risking rejection, so by making it seem more casual, makes it easier. Or at least seems to lessen the rejection and embarrassment.

 

And honestly, JMO, but if OP is on here judging the guy for this, she may have given some sort of vibe that made it harder. I think a lot of people can pick up on things like that without it being said. Ever want to approach someone, but just get this feeling like you wont say or do the right thing?

[dreamergrl]

Have you ever been asked out for a first date in that manner ?..

 

I've been asked out, and told an activity was picked because it was free.

[harmfulsweetz]

Yes I have actually. I liked the guy loads, and I didn't care about it. It was a great date. He didn't have a lot of money and it was good that he chose to use something which alleviated the worry.

 

Yeah, all the time, I mean, it's hard enough to approach someone you like without the added worry of 'will she think I'm cheap?" I bet that never entered the poor guy's head.

 

I've also been asked out in the way of 'bonfire night is on, it's free, do you fancy going?' Heck, that's cheap as cheap gets, but I jumped at the chance. It wasn't creative really, it was bonfire night, but it was nice he wanted to spend it with me, and thought of me. I would be flattered the guy thought to spend his gift on her.

[Rollercoasterr]

I don't understand the issue. And yes, I know that shes already accepted the date even though its been postponed.

 

But honestly, I see no problem with the gift card. Yes, even though he may be 26 he might still be nervous. And maybe he doesn't like coffee or drinking. Maybe he wanted to spend more time with her than coffee or drinks would allow. Maybe he just really likes the outback. I know I do!

 

And if you had a $50 gift card to spend, why not spend it on a date? And furthermore, if its a first date you don`t know if there`s going to be a second date yet, so it seems pretty smart to use a gift card. I`d be pretty ticked if I spent $75 or more on a date with someone that turned out to be a troll. Or maybe it WAS expiring soon so he figured that he should use it before it expires.

 

Or, better yet!!! Since this thread has talked about it so much, MAYBE he mentioned the gift card so that she would know that he would be paying her way. Never mind if it`s with a gift card, but the outback isn`t exactly a cheap place to go. Maybe he thought that she might feel bad(which would suggest that he thinks she`s too sweet to want him to spend a lot of money on her) if he asked her to an semi-expensive place for their first date. This way she would know that he`s got the tab and not to worry about it. And chances are, the bill is going to be over $50 especially if you add in a drink or two.

 

I really don`t understand how people are so bent on money. I`m not talking about the OP, I`m talking about people in general. Who gives a rats shiny butt if he uses a giftcard? At least he`s offering to take her out! I don`t know why you`d want to fork over all kinds of money if you don`t know that there`s going to be a second date. If there`s a second one, sure take her to the most expensive place in town if you want, but it seems almost foolish in todays economy to take a girl somewhere expensive on a first date. Besides, if you drop over $100 on the first date, she may expect that on every date after that.

 

Myself I like to alternate. I bought breakfast for my honey and I yesterday morning ($31 CAN, $29US ) at Coras. He bought dinner last night. My fiance makes good money but since we`re planning a wedding and spending loads of money on immigration I think it`s only fair to help out.

[BWLoca]

Um, I haven't judged anyone. I don't even know where this is coming from. The reason I posted the question is to get others' opinions. I got an impression from him and wanted to know what other's thought before I formed an opinion. I didn't make a big deal out of it; I posed a simple question and answered other posters' questions. And most agree that it wasn't exactly the best approach to asking someone out.

 

It really has nothing to do with money. I would even agree that splitting the bill on the first date is a good idea, or even a date that doesn't cost anything is fine. Maybe the word "cheap" was misused on my part. I do feel it was quite tacky and stand firm on that point.

 

How could he have gotten any vibe? He asked me out via text message.

[harmfulsweetz]

Maybe it's me but posting on a forum, worrying over whether it is cheap, is shallow and forming a judgement, you already think it is tacky and so you think he is cheap and tacky. If you didn't, you wouldn't have needed to post on a forum about it. But anyways.

[BWLoca]

And I'm the judgmental one

[dreamergrl]

How could he have gotten any vibe? He asked me out via text message.

 

Well he has had to have some sort of interaction with you to ask you out and have your number right?

[dreamergrl]

This just seems kind of cheap to me...thoughts?

 

We haven't even gone out, yet. This is how he chose to ask me out: "hey, I have a gift card to (restaurant) if you want to go out..."

 

Outback Steakhouse...

 

You first post already claims he seems cheap. That's not judgmental? Followed by we haven't gone out yet... and the restaurant that is not of your choice.

[harmfulsweetz]

You are actually, prejudging someone because of something relatively small.