i want to end it

[AliveAndKicking]

Did anyone say anything about "weak" or "lame"? No, I didn't think so.

 

You're pretty heavy on the self-pity. It's almost so over-the-top that it loses it's desired reaction...

 

Now would not at all be a good time to find someone new. Get yourself straightened out first. It takes time and it takes EFFORT. Are you willing to make an effort?

 

What are you going to do that will make a positive impact of the way you are feeling right now? Surely you can think of and post ONE positive thing you can do, starting right now, that will serve you in a positive fashion, right? I mean you HAVE been reading the many caring posts here, right?

 

YOU have to take the first step.

 

Whatcha gonna do?

 

(Hint: Stop the negative self-talk! Begin NC!)

[McGrupp]

Stop the negative self-talk! Begin NC!

 

also im beginning to see our relationship had many holes in it. i was the dorrmat freqeuntly. i made her my everything. she is a great girl, no doubt. and i treated her poorly sometimes. our sex life had also become slighlyt boring and i think both of us had become to comfortable. but im thinking i can do better for myself. have a woman again who respects me equally and I her.

 

plus we were pretty young i guess. its def tough. everyday is better.

[Exit]

Just keep snapping yourself out of it, and the "holes" in the relationship will become more and more apparent. I've slowly realized how worthless my ex is. I loved her to death and loved taking care of her but she didn't appreciate me at all.

 

You'll make it.

[McGrupp]

ok here it goes whats going on in my head:

 

1) im weird looking. im funny and (used to be) confident. my girl was amazing as far a s looks go. people would tell me all the time. she was also cool as ****. and i ruined everything by becoming needy and cliingy and making the fact i have a hot girl who i love my everything. im just thinking about something like FB where my pic for years was of us. i had to have that thre so everyone from HS or whatever would see me and say wow, this guy did good after HS and college. i had people in my life (hs) say wow your ugly. ive people in college say "i cant imagine waking up nex to a guy like" and then i had this beautiful erson who loved me for me and didnt judge me i had people say to me "youll never do better" and "thumbs up on the girl"

 

 

2) my job. as ive said b4 i hate it. it pays ****ty and there is there is no room for growth and i despise it. its lonely and depressing the hours suck and i feel like im losing my youth doing it. the first fight we had b4 the breakup she said "you hate your job" as i i was bugging her all day because i was so bored. so its a huge reason i blame for the end of the best thing of my life.

 

3) my insecurity. right now i feel like im 10 inches tall. i have no confidence in myself ever finding another woman as attractive or cool. i know i can but i dont feel i ever will. i feel like im doomed to die alone and sad and possibly i will die at my own hands. i can get social with some beers, but im so lonely.

 

4) my life is boring now. ive reaized my hobbies were all about her. ive realized my life was using her for my happiness. iv realized im lazy and never reached for anything in this life. ive been handed everything i now i act like a babay when it is all taken away. i have no interest in doing the things that made me feel good about myself. my friends all are living their lives while im back at my parents typing online all day, hitting the gym 2wice a week. and then repeat. with nothing going on. nothing.

 

5) by contacting her ive chased her away. the breakup occured when i called her, it wasnt predetermined. ive broke NC so many times she basically said to stop calling her. not only that the conversations make me seem weak and lame and definately allow her to feel like the break was the right thing to do, the regrets from it ave made me sick. thats why im so ****ed up. i think well if i went NC here she would be back. and im right. im a loser . i want to end it.

 

6) her cheating. ive used this as a way to say we were off. but when i look at it a lot of eople say "well thats not cheating"/ she made out with a guy from work. i was never able to get over it and B) she apologized endlessly. was it cheating? did this thread of untrust eventually destroy us? why do som e epole say it was cheating and some say it wasnt. was i wrong to take her back? she apologized endlessly. but did i lose my dignity in the process. i was on her bday (last year) and never trusted her again. i actually gave her present s on the day when i saw her. what a stupid hing to do. i rewardded her. why?

 

7) ive become this moppy **** and brought down everyone around me. people i think now avoid me for fear of me bringing them down. my friend the other night said "i miss 'my name'" now im back with my parents i basically just walk around the house complaining to my mom or dad. i go to local bars and find it hard. i sit in the corner and dream and pine. i think about ways to kill myself. i talk about to everyone. im lazier then ever now. its been 2 months and i cant deal.

 

8) my self esteem is so ****ed up. i want to kill myself. i mean that is horrible but i think about it all the time. i want to end it. i have no purpose. i dread the years ill spend alone in my room dreaming about what couldve been.

 

9)....

 

9) i feel like im going to die alone. L was the first and only girl i ever had sex with. im 24 almost 25 and ive only had sex with one person. i thought that was ok because ishe was so beautiful and the sex was fulfilling. ive basically never had anyone else want to **** me. so...ive got that going for me.

[Limbo21]

My situation is exactly the same. I've only ever had 3 girlfriends, I'm unemployed, I have no friends, I'm as ugly as sin, I can't drive, I'm immature, I've lost all my self esteem, my confidence is so low (this started way before I met my ex) I can no longer hold a decent conversation ..... And I'm 40. 16 years older than you. Just think how you will be in 16 years?

 

I see no way out, mostly (not always) I can only see suicide as a means to end. My ex dumped me for several reasons ... One of them was because I wouldn't be able to 'look after her and her kids' 'to help keep her feet on the ground and support her' "I need to find someone that can give me security" .... Have you any idea how bad that makes me feel? My thougts are ... If I hadn't screwed my life up then I would have been able to offer her (or anyone) what women look for in a potential partner ... It's ALL my fault why I'm here, on LS heartbroken and can see nothing put disapointment, pain, loss and regret.

 

Like you EVERYONE said wow you've done well or yoursef or you must have a massive dick (I don't for the record) she is 27, stunningly beautiful, highly educated (played concert symphonies, speaks fluent French, stylish, beautiful accent (Oxford England) sophisticated, so sexy, had no taboos and the mot feminine creature I've ever seen - no one & I mean no one I've ever met could match to her. She could be anything she wanted and now I've lost her

 

This is my 20th day nc. She has text me but I've ignored - why? Because she doesn't love me anymore. When we first broken up we both broke nc endless times but then I realised it's gotta be hard contact (as you will eventually)

 

As for suicide ... Well I've joined suicide forums.com (as mr_black) I've joined alt suicide holiday (pro exit) I've been going to church, I take 20mg citalopram/3.75mg zopiclone daily. I speak to the Samaritans almost daily. I've also researched so much about exits (suicide) and ordered a pro death book online (for the terminally ill) I've sourced about 60% of the apparatus needed to do it and the final 40% is just a mouse click away.

 

I suffer from derpression, agrophobia and anxiety attacks (if you don't know what these things really are then you will when you get them - I've never known anything like it), I no longer find enjoyment out of talking, reading, tv, films, music and the Internet (I have a fantasy footy team). I just want to be alone - BUT I haven't killed myself yet - why?

 

I now visit the gym every other day, church (I'm atheist) bike ride, and started to look for a job - it's nothing but it's a start

 

I don't know why I'm telling you this - I guess it's to say your bot on your own. In 16 years you will be my age, your young, make your choices now, you have time, so much to live for. Get back to college, travel. Live.

 

If you want to mp me then we can try to get through this together. Trust me your life isn't as bad as you think right now and I'm testimony to that

 

we can do this brother

[AliveAndKicking]

ok here it goes whats going on in my head:

 

1) im weird looking. im funny and (used to be) confident. my girl was amazing as far a s looks go. people would tell me all the time. she was also cool as ****. and i ruined everything by becoming needy and cliingy and making the fact i have a hot girl who i love my everything. im just thinking about something like FB where my pic for years was of us. i had to have that thre so everyone from HS or whatever would see me and say wow, this guy did good after HS and college. i had people in my life (hs) say wow your ugly. ive people in college say "i cant imagine waking up nex to a guy like" and then i had this beautiful erson who loved me for me and didnt judge me i had people say to me "youll never do better" and "thumbs up on the girl"

 

Beauty is inthe eye of the beholder. There is more thanone gal who will dig you and think that you're Adonis.

 

You recognize that you made mistakes in your relationship. Take that knowledge forward and don't repeat those mistakes. You have learned thru life: That is called wisdom. Pass what you have learned on to others and use what you have learned to them as well as yourself. It takes courage to admit mistakes- this is an asset. Good for you!

 

2) my job. as ive said b4 i hate it. it pays ****ty and there is there is no room for growth and i despise it. its lonely and depressing the hours suck and i feel like im losing my youth doing it. the first fight we had b4 the breakup she said "you hate your job" as i i was bugging her all day because i was so bored. so its a huge reason i blame for the end of the best thing of my life.

 

I've had some crappy jobs as well and they wear on you for sure. Keep your job but start looking- ALWAYS look for better. again- you recognize this- use this wisdom to move forward and better yourself.

 

 

3) my insecurity. right now i feel like im 10 inches tall. i have no confidence in myself ever finding another woman as attractive or cool. i know i can but i dont feel i ever will. i feel like im doomed to die alone and sad and possibly i will die at my own hands. i can get social with some beers, but im so lonely.

 

This is normal when ANY relationship ends. I amd VERY lonesome right now. I refuse to dwell on it. I am isolated out in the country so I reach out my phone, the internet, and I force myself to talk to people when I g into town for groceries, etc. I am working on making my world bigger. You can too!

 

4) my life is boring now. ive reaized my hobbies were all about her. ive realized my life was using her for my happiness. iv realized im lazy and never reached for anything in this life. ive been handed everything i now i act like a babay when it is all taken away. i have no interest in doing the things that made me feel good about myself. my friends all are living their lives while im back at my parents typing online all day, hitting the gym 2wice a week. and then repeat. with nothing going on. nothing.

 

This is also very normal when a relationship ends. It's called "depression". It helped me a lot to do the things I USED to love and eventually i started liking them again. Have you spoken to your doctor or other professional? It might do you a wolrd of good to do so!

 

5) by contacting her ive chased her away. the breakup occured when i called her, it wasnt predetermined. ive broke NC so many times she basically said to stop calling her. not only that the conversations make me seem weak and lame and definately allow her to feel like the break was the right thing to do, the regrets from it ave made me sick. thats why im so ****ed up. i think well if i went NC here she would be back. and im right. im a loser . i want to end it.

 

Learn from this- begin NC. Work on you. Become the best you can be. It takes time. It is hard. But it is the only way forward and through this. And you're wrong: you're not a loser! No more "I want it to end"? That's been played out. You're still here- that means you WANT to make it. You just want the PAIN to end. We all do. It takes courage and work. You have already displayed courage by posting here. Now you have to do the work!

 

 

6) her cheating. ive used this as a way to say we were off. but when i look at it a lot of eople say "well thats not cheating"/ she made out with a guy from work. i was never able to get over it and B) she apologized endlessly. was it cheating? did this thread of untrust eventually destroy us? why do som e epole say it was cheating and some say it wasnt. was i wrong to take her back? she apologized endlessly. but did i lose my dignity in the process. i was on her bday (last year) and never trusted her again. i actually gave her present s on the day when i saw her. what a stupid hing to do. i rewardded her. why?

 

SHE cheated- let her own it. As far as losing your dignity? Been there/done that. Learn from it and build yourself up so that if someone ever cheats again you will simply walk away andnot look back. I promise you that I have sold myself out FAR worse than you did. Your dignity will be restored as you heal and build your NEW life!

 

7) ive become this moppy **** and brought down everyone around me. people i think now avoid me for fear of me bringing them down. my friend the other night said "i miss 'my name'" now im back with my parents i basically just walk around the house complaining to my mom or dad. i go to local bars and find it hard. i sit in the corner and dream and pine. i think about ways to kill myself. i talk about to everyone. im lazier then ever now. its been 2 months and i cant deal.

 

Depression. Normal. after two months you might think about talking to your doctor or other professional. Oh and by the way: you CAN handle. You ARE handling it. And you will continue to handle it!

 

8) my self esteem is so ****ed up. i want to kill myself. i mean that is horrible but i think about it all the time. i want to end it. i have no purpose. i dread the years ill spend alone in my room dreaming about what couldve been.

 

No- you want the pain to end. That feeling of "no purpose" is all part of the depression. Talk to a pro- you'll feel better. Seriously.

 

9) i feel like im going to die alone. L was the first and only girl i ever had sex with. im 24 almost 25 and ive only had sex with one person. i thought that was ok because ishe was so beautiful and the sex was fulfilling. ive basically never had anyone else want to **** me. so...ive got that going for me.

 

I'm a LOT older than you and I have felt that way. It passed in time. It just took tim e and effort. A relaly nice and very pretty gal is coming to have lunch with me at work today. A month ago I would never have believed it could happen but it did! I don't think I'm gonna grow old withthis gal but we are getting to know each other so wno knows? Trust me- you won't grow old alone if you make an effort for getting through this.

 

Good job on this post- you are putting effort into sorting yourself out. That takes courage. Good job!

 

Too much suicide talk; Talk to a professional. It helps. You'll feel better.

 

Thank abuot it, ok?

 

Okay!

[AliveAndKicking]

My situation is exactly the same. <chop!>

we can do this brother

 

 

 

You are doing good! You're in a tough spot right now but in the end you are thinking positive and helping out another- good job!

 

Have you started a thread about your situation Limbo21? You deserve to have your own thread!

 

Hang there and stay positive- it gets better!

[McGrupp]

pychologits/pychiatirst not covered by my insurance. sitting here alone in my house. no more gym or anything.cant even get out of bed. breaking NC last week had killed me.

[margalicious]

Hi McGrupp. I felt the same way as yours. My husband seems not to care about me anymore. There was point in my life that I wanted to take my life, but I can't. I fear God. There's a simple way to take away your depression. Pray and meditate. It will help you a lot. Take care!

[Limbo21]

Thankyou AliveandKicking, your reply to me made me well up (I'm very emotional right now). Yes I've had threads but I don't get half the support that McGrupps gets. Some great advice has been given to me and is being given to you (specially by A&K).

 

I've even compliled a to do checklist so I complete everyday tasks like 'clean teeth, have breakfast and go for a walk' otherwise I'd lie in bed as you are.

 

I don't want to talk out of term as your very vunerable but you've really gotta listen to these good people on here and help yourself. If your really suicidal as I have been (am) then I'm suprises your even posting it on here. I didn't want anyone to know or take depression tablets cos I didn't want anything to stop me .... Only 1 person has the strength to pick up the pieces and take each 5 mins at a time. I'm envious of you, your only 26 and your getting wonderful advice that I feel I didn't get (certainly not 120+ posts)

 

I'd like to thank RonniW and Nedved (ad many others) but they don't realise how important there words of support were to me ... Specially Nedved. You have so much support McGrupp.... Use it pls

Edited November 2, 2009 by Limbo21

[Ms. Joolie]

I am very touched by McGrupp's and now Limbo21's willingness to put out there exactly what they are going through.

 

Limbo21, your idea of lists is a great one. That's exactly what I did yesterday. When I need to focus myself on getting stuff done (or getting on with life) I have to make a list. And I've especially used them when feeling down, so I know they are a great help then.

 

When making a list for the day, I ask myself "What can I do today?" I list out a few things that I can do that day, that I can get done. At the end of the day, having those items checked off and accomplished is a victory, and it feels good. These lists work for the day, or the week, or you can even build up a life list.

 

That being said...........

 

It's these little victories, these day to day victories, that add value and meaning to your life. Day to day we live, and day to day we are the creators of what life we are going to live.

 

Feeling worthless is the result of doing nothing. Granted, I know that we can feel so miserable that we don't feel like doing anything! However, what MUST be done is a self-survey. Ask yourself, "What CAN I do today?" Can I eat to nourish my body? Can I exercise my body to build strength? Can I read a book and entertain or educate my mind? Can I talk a walk to get some fresh air and clear my mind?"

 

What CAN you do? Do it. Not just eat and exercise. We have the ability to do great things, to be accomplished but we have to work up to that.

 

You are not worthless. You may think your ugly, you don't have a woman, or a job or money.... that's ridiculous! People who have good looks, who are in a relationship, who have their job, who have money, these people can also feel worthless!

 

Your worth comes from the inside. You place your worth, day to day. Every day that you are alive has great worth to it, it is up to you to seize it. It is up to you to live today, and bring about your own worth.

 

Even if all you do today is eat and walk around a bit.... your life is worth it.

Your life is valuable and is worth every second. You simply being in it is priceless.

[McGrupp]

im starting to think it was just not meant to be. its just hard getting used to life being lonely and bored. also acceptance.

 

but she did treat me poorly sometimes. other times she was great. i really have to look at the relatinship from that perspective i guess and realize making her my everything was taking away from her life and mine. i need to make myself hapy in my career.

 

wow. this whole thing is a head spinner. the pychologist (195$ an hour, not covered by insurance) basically said im young, their are plenty of fish, and to maybe ask to be friends (?). he was like 80 so....

 

just sad. and lonely and ashamed of the things i said to push her away.

Edited November 2, 2009 by McGrupp

[AliveAndKicking]

im starting to think it was just not meant to be. its just hard getting used to life being lonely and bored. also acceptance.

 

but she did treat me poorly sometimes. other times she was great. i really have to look at the relatinship from that perspective i guess and realize making her my everything was taking away from her life and mine. i need to make myself hapy in my career.

 

wow. this whole thing is a head spinner. the pychologist (195$ an hour, not covered by insurance) basically said im young, their are plenty of fish, and to maybe ask to be friends (?). he was like 80 so....

 

just sad. and lonely and ashamed of the things i said to push her away.

 

NOW you're getting somewhere!

 

After 11 pages of replies you either get it or you don't want to get it.

 

As I said: no one is going to do this for you.

 

I'd imagine that this thread can go another 11 pages if you throw out that "you're gonna end it all" every time you feel down and out. You'll get lots of folks rushing in here to try to help you.

 

The post that I quoted above might not get as many replies but I'll tell you this: It has more power in it than all of the "I wanna end it all" posts combined.

 

Face this FACT: It's gonna suck for a while. Whether it sucks for a long time or a little less is entirely up to you and what you DO.

 

Step up, man up, own your errors, and get out of your head for a little while: go offer help to someone that's in worse shape than you. It will help them and it will help you, and it will get you outside of your own thoughts and feeling for a few minutes. Works wonders.

 

Now get to it!

[AliveAndKicking]

I've even compliled a to do checklist so I complete everyday tasks like 'clean teeth, have breakfast and go for a walk' otherwise I'd lie in bed as you are.

 

<EDITED>

 

You have so much support McGrupp.... Use it pls

 

That's right Limbo21!

 

I've had to do the same thing in the past- actually make a list of the simple things just like you did. I sat and wallowed in my self-pity and eventually I realized that no one and nothing was gonna along and make ANYTHING happen for me. At first I got scared and then I got down to business. And yes, it took a list, just like yours, to get my butt up and moving.

 

The hardest part is always getting started. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

 

It sucks when you post and it sinks to the bottom and off the page. Some threads attract more responses than others. That is not based on their merit- people are drawn towards the more dramatic headlines sometimes. Don't let that stop you from posting if you need too, though, okay? I'll keep an eye out for you and you can be sure I'll chime-in and toss in my $.02.

 

Why don't you start a threead about the stuff I'm replying to here? You know- some of the things you did that helped you along this journey towards healing? It doesn't always have to be about a problem- post about your solutions too! You never know- it might be just what someone needed to make it through the day. There is no better way to get out of one's self-pity than to help others.

 

You are taking charge of your future and that's not easy. Kudos to you for being brave and strong when the going is tough!

 

Great job- keep it up!

[McGrupp]

i feel ****ing iill. just saw some pics of us on my hardrive.

 

im ****ing pathetic. i cant believe i ruined this whole thing.

 

she is a beautiful person i forced out of my pathetic life.

[PinkToes]

 

she is a beautiful person i forced out of my pathetic life.

 

She cheated on you. I'd say that's enough to bump her off the beautiful person list. But I know that wasn't the only imperfection. Remember this about her.

 

And you're not pathetic. You're in a slump. We all go through them, when the life we wake up into everyday seems like a huge joke; when nothing seems right. Trust me, it happens to everyone. And in my experience, it often happens all at once. You get dumped at the same time you lose your job and your best friend and you start to question how everything got so far off track.

 

But that's the thing.... it's a track, a path, and you're still moving forward, even when it doesn't feel like it.

 

As quickly as things seemed to go wrong, they can turn around just as fast. Believe this. Nothing lasts forever. The honeymoon stage of a relationship doesn't, and the pain that follows a few bad breaks doesn't either. You just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other, until it all makes sense again. Because it will. Really it will.

[McGrupp]

think im going to go the fla. for 10 days.

 

clear my head. i keep breaking NC and thats why im going mad.

 

she doesnt respect me know and all i can do is read NC threads and how they are working for some

 

ithought the cheating was bad and i took her back. a lot of people around me including her said i shouldnt have taken it so to heart.

 

whatever i called her a bitch for the 2nd time. dont hink she is coming back

Edited November 3, 2009 by McGrupp

[AliveAndKicking]

think im going to go the fla. for 10 days.

 

clear my head. i keep breaking NC and thats why im going mad.

 

Well NOW you're heading in the right direction man! Take a break, decompress, and when you get back just pick right up and start your NEW LIFE that YOU are in control of!

 

Good for you man! I'm so glad to seethat you're taking ACTION!

 

Hell YEAH!

[McGrupp]

i cant believe i was thinking of killing myself. life will be ok. ive realized through all of this i have a great support system of friends and family. really everyone has been super supportive and valued. this may actually change my life in a truly positive way!

 

and im sure ill have more down moments. but i gotta love life and not take it away because some person threw me away.

[Bulldozed]

McGrupp- I'm pulling for you, believe me. I guess the difference between us is I can't shake the feelings that I get immersed with at the thought of this woman so quickly jumping into to bed w/another guy. Especially after all of the confiding she shared just weeks before we split. I actually puked tonite at the thought of it...I've never once cheated or been unfaithful, and here this bitch lies, deceives and carries on like all is good in our relationship....it seems like it's getting worse by each day instead of better....and to this day she still doesn't acknowledge to her friends that she's with this guy....how do they do it?

[AliveAndKicking]

i cant believe i was thinking of killing myself. life will be ok. ive realized through all of this i have a great support system of friends and family. really everyone has been super supportive and valued. this may actually change my life in a truly positive way!

 

and im sure ill have more down moments. but i gotta love life and not take it away because some person threw me away.

 

 

Woo hoo! Glad you made it. You new life begins today.

 

Yes- you WILL have down moments. Maybe even days. But know this: They WILL pass. It WILL get better. It WILL take some time.

 

It will change your life for the better if that is what YOU decide.

 

Good job!

[AliveAndKicking]

McGrupp- I'm pulling for you, believe me. I guess the difference between us is I can't shake the feelings that I get immersed with at the thought of this woman so quickly jumping into to bed w/another guy. Especially after all of the confiding she shared just weeks before we split. I actually puked tonite at the thought of it...I've never once cheated or been unfaithful, and here this bitch lies, deceives and carries on like all is good in our relationship....it seems like it's getting worse by each day instead of better....and to this day she still doesn't acknowledge to her friends that she's with this guy....how do they do it?

 

 

Try to find gratitude in the fact that you could not do what she does. Right now it doesn't feel like it but that puts you head and shoulders above many- you have morals- that is VALUABLE!

 

Your puking was a stress reaction. It is more common than you think- most folks don't talk about this. It is normal. This will pass given some time and emotional healing.

 

You will NEVER get your head around how these people do what they do. Neither will I. To understand them would take being one of them. Too far out of the range of rational thought for the good guys and gals. Don't waste your time trying to figure it out- ain't gonna happen. Just accept it as the actions of defective disordered selfish losers and leave the "figuring them out" to those who specialize in abnormal psychology.

 

That feeling of it getting worse rather than better is very well-known to me. Usually right around the two-month mark for me. It passes. If is does not pass, however, don't hesitate to speak to a professional as depression is very common after a breakup. Even moreso after an abusive relationship or one which involves infidelity.

 

If you haven't started a thread yet about your thoughts and feelings why don't you go ahead and do so? I think we've all felt the way you're feeling at one time or another.

 

Hang in there and remind yourself that this will pass, you WILL feel better, and that others find value in your faifulness.

 

Treat yourself with great care today and every day.

[Bulldozed]

AK - you're right on about the 2 months. It's been 2 mth, and 3 days. To ad insult to injury to all of this, I lost my job 3 wks ago. I take full responsibility for my bosses decision, however she was clearly the catayst. I listened to him cut her down one too many times and I snapped at him and told him exactly what I thought of him. (he is btw- a discpicable human being for many reasons).

 

I've never been at this place before in my life. I'll be 43 at the end of the month and never felt so alone. this was the one, or so I thought. I've got a great house, but I can't stand being here, and I feel like I'm a drag on my family and friends...I try so hard to act like everythings fine, but it isn't....everywhere I look, I see her. I know she's less than me on so many levels, and I think she actually knows that, perhaps that's one reason why she left? Who knows...all I know is she's returned back to dating project guys that have little going for them....

[sunnyk1068]

Just because this person does not love you does not mean that you are not loved.

[McGrupp]

just got this email:

 

The email you wrote me was wonderful. The years we were together were beautiful and exciting. We had so many great times and we bonded in a way that not many people do. I appreciate your understanding of why I feel I needed to be alone - it means a lot to me that you wrote everything you did. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to respond, I was pretty sure you didn't but after the text message you sent to me on Saturday I realized I must have guessed wrong. I am trying very hard to make respect your feelings as I know you want to respect mine. This whole thing isn't easy for me___ as I have told you before. I want you to be happy and feel fulfilled. I really do. I hope you really meant everything you said in your email. If you did I know you will find everything you are looking for.

 

the text she is talking about is "the bitch" one. the email, my "have a nice life, im mving on"

 

 

i wont respond, but how do i deal with thast finality?

 

probably shouldnt have posted it ina public forum. my depression just deepened

Edited November 3, 2009 by McGrupp