Lucky_One Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Someone said it on the previous page. proactive vs reactive affection. you're letting him show you affection towards you, not showing him affection towards you. So. He is sitting on the couch watching "The Sons of Katie Elder". I go to the couch, lay down and put my head in his lap. And I am allowing him to show me affection? I have got to ask; how many serious (declarations of love on both sides, stated monogamous commitment, healthy sexual R) long-term relationships (over 1 year in length) have you had as an adult (out of high-school)? Link to post Share on other sites
Author newtoloveshac Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 So. He is sitting on the couch watching "The Sons of Katie Elder". I go to the couch, lay down and put my head in his lap. And I am allowing him to show me affection? I have got to ask; how many serious (declarations of love on both sides, stated monogamous commitment, healthy sexual R) long-term relationships (over 1 year in length) have you had as an adult (out of high-school)? Neither of you is affectionate in this case. Look being affectionate would mean the other encourages the other to relax in their lap. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Does Bells have a new handle? LOL! It could be BoredPerson as well. Or a couple of others that I can't think of right now. Well, OP, you could go ahead and remain single, or better yet... date men! Then YOU can be the 'woman' in the relationship, since women have it so much better! Yay! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 What strategies are those? I wouldn't be surprised if women have it better here too. Men needed equality more than vice versa. Equality is a word you seem to take too lightly. Ah well, no sensible discussion here. Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Neither of you is affectionate in this case. Look being affectionate would mean the other encourages the other to relax in their lap. I think I see part of the problem here. You don't recognize healthy romantic behavior when you see it. Scenario 1: BF says "come lay your head on my lap." GF goes to the couch and puts her head in his lap. You say "Oh geez, he had to beg because she is emotionally unavailable and a frigid bitch who is going to withhold sex for a month and empty his bank accounts." Scenario 2: GF goes of on accord to couch, and lays her head in BF's lap. You say "Oh geez, he didn't want her to do that since he didn't encourage her to do so, so she must be manipulating him to do something because she is emotionally unavailable and a frigid bitch who is going to withhold sex for a month and empty his bank accounts." A girl can't win with you! I ask again - how many Rs in your life? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 It could be BoredPerson as well. Come to think of it.... Topically, even with a D looming, I feel I got a lot out of my marriage. My wife made out better materially, but I grew in ways that money can't buy. Fear does not rule me anymore. I hope the OP finds that peace. Women aren't the enemy. Fear is. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Unless a man finds a truly exceptional woman commiting to one is pretty much a losing gamble. You work hard to be a good partner and in some cases a good father and what do you get in return for it except the I love you but I am not in love with you speech and in some cases she will cheat on you with some jerk and blame you for it all. Even if you do manage to stay with her she will resent the hell out of you and blame you for everything. All you happily married men should listen to how your wives talk about you amongst their friends because it will show what they really think of you. Tell me what the upside of a man commiting to a woman is. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 (((((poor Woggle))))) Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 So what? men can NEVER top "pregnancy and being "in the shadows death" giving birth! Not to mention the hormonal changes that affect our MINDS after childbirth....please... Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Unless a man finds a truly exceptional woman commiting to one is pretty much a losing gamble. You work hard to be a good partner and in some cases a good father and what do you get in return for it except the I love you but I am not in love with you speech and in some cases she will cheat on you with some jerk and blame you for it all. Even if you do manage to stay with her she will resent the hell out of you and blame you for everything. All you happily married men should listen to how your wives talk about you amongst their friends because it will show what they really think of you. Tell me what the upside of a man commiting to a woman is. Oh woggle, drive up the turnpike( or parkway)...I think you need a good dinner in the city! on me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author newtoloveshac Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 This is why men don't open up. We have problems and all people say is why don't you go gay. To all the people who said that **** YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newtoloveshac Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 So what? men can NEVER top "pregnancy and being "in the shadows death" giving birth! Not to mention the hormonal changes that affect our MINDS after childbirth....please... Look at how many men have died in war. Would you rather give birth or lose your legs in war? Men die every day in Iraq and you make jokes? And considering the fact that most women consider kidney stones to be painful this is a moot point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newtoloveshac Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 I think I see part of the problem here. You don't recognize healthy romantic behavior when you see it. Scenario 1: BF says "come lay your head on my lap." GF goes to the couch and puts her head in his lap. You say "Oh geez, he had to beg because she is emotionally unavailable and a frigid bitch who is going to withhold sex for a month and empty his bank accounts." Scenario 2: GF goes of on accord to couch, and lays her head in BF's lap. You say "Oh geez, he didn't want her to do that since he didn't encourage her to do so, so she must be manipulating him to do something because she is emotionally unavailable and a frigid bitch who is going to withhold sex for a month and empty his bank accounts." A girl can't win with you! I ask again - how many Rs in your life? Where is the affection towards him? Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Look at how many men have died in war. Would you rather give birth or lose your legs in war? Men die every day in Iraq and you make jokes? And considering the fact that most women consider kidney stones to be painful this is a moot point. Women die (or lose limbs) in war , too! Ever hear of a man getting pregnant and giving birth? you simply cannot do it! What makes you think I am joking? Pregnancy and giving birth are serious things. A lot can go wrong and the life of the mother and the baby hang in a balance. Kidney stones ARE painful...the stones are not smooth, they are jagged and crystal-like,,each time it moves inside you it "jags" your insides....Pain is not sex-based, it's individual-based... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 You can negative an entire gender to death but it won't get you a happy, viable relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newtoloveshac Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Women die (or lose limbs) in war , too! Ever hear of a man getting pregnant and giving birth? you simply cannot do it! What makes you think I am joking? Pregnancy and giving birth are serious things. A lot can go wrong and the life of the mother and the baby hang in a balance. Kidney stones ARE painful...the stones are not smooth, they are jagged and crystal-like,,each time it moves inside you it "jags" your insides....Pain is not sex-based, it's individual-based... Well lets see men have been the ones to fight war for as long as humans have existed. Women still don't fight in combat. Women make up close to 16% of the military and less than 2% of deaths. More than 1 billion men have died in war. Do you think like the fact that maybe 1,000 have died in war makes up for this? There really has never been a relationship where a woman gave just as much or even MORE. Or am i wrong here? And how many women die during pregnancy? Its not even .25%. Its like 1 in 1000 mothers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newtoloveshac Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Women die (or lose limbs) in war , too! Ever hear of a man getting pregnant and giving birth? you simply cannot do it! What makes you think I am joking? Pregnancy and giving birth are serious things. A lot can go wrong and the life of the mother and the baby hang in a balance. Kidney stones ARE painful...the stones are not smooth, they are jagged and crystal-like,,each time it moves inside you it "jags" your insides....Pain is not sex-based, it's individual-based... Still not a justification for giving less in a relationship even if you were right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author newtoloveshac Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Just look at the way mothers treat their son's girlfriends. Are they interrogated the way men are? Do women ever threaten them physically if they hurt their son? once again men are more protective. so i even disagree with the notion that mothers protect their sons. they do not. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Well lets see men have been the ones to fight war for as long as humans have existed. Women still don't fight in combat. Women make up close to 16% of the military and less than 2% of deaths. More than 1 billion men have died in war. Do you think like the fact that maybe 1,000 have died in war makes up for this? There really has never been a relationship where a woman gave just as much or even MORE. Or am i wrong here? And how many women die during pregnancy? Its not even .25%. Its like 1 in 1000 mothers. Oh yes, of course because WOMEN were the ones who decided they couldn't... You bringing this up is MOOT, since MEN were the ones who made the rules.. 1 in 1000 is not plenty? ridiculous. Women GAVE UP( and still do) more of themselves to be in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Oh woggle, drive up the turnpike( or parkway)...I think you need a good dinner in the city! on me! I know all the good places in the city because I grew up there and lived there until 2002. You can't deny that what I say is true though. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Just look at the way mothers treat their son's girlfriends. Are they interrogated the way men are? Do women ever threaten them physically if they hurt their son? once again men are more protective. so i even disagree with the notion that mothers protect their sons. they do not. It is common knowledge that many prospective mothers-in-law are tough on their would-be daughters-in law...thus the many horrow stories and comedy material regarding this dynamic. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 Equality is a word you seem to take too lightly. Ah well, no sensible discussion here. Take care, Eve xx Yeah, I agree. What exactly does the OP men by "male equality"? It sounds like he wants to return to 1950 when men (thought they) were in charge and women were subject to their whims without much of a voice? OP, what do you mean by male equality? And, how does a woman show affection to you if laying her head in your lap is such the two edged sword with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author newtoloveshac Posted July 12, 2009 Author Share Posted July 12, 2009 Oh yes, of course because WOMEN were the ones who decided they couldn't... You bringing this up is MOOT, since MEN were the ones who made the rules.. 1 in 1000 is not plenty? ridiculous. Women GAVE UP( and still do) more of themselves to be in a relationship. World War II killed close to 1 in 4 men in some countries. Evolution made the rules not men. Tell me why men always give more in a relationship. Tell me why female relatives are not as protective over their male loved ones when it comes to bad partners. Do women receive violence and interrogation the way men do. Once again men are more protective. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 This is why men don't open up. We have problems and all people say is why don't you go gay. To all the people who said that **** YOU. And then they wonder why men are so emotionally closed off. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 World War II killed close to 1 in 4 men in some countries. No argument there....Tell me why the powers that be (MEN) decided women should stay home and take care of the family? Why didn't they think women should go...? Evolution made the rules not men. Oh...so why bring it up? If evolution did that ..there's your answer. Tell me why men always give more in a relationship. Tell me why women GIVE UP MORE to be in a relationship? Tell me why female relatives are not as protective over their male loved ones when it comes to bad partners. Do women receive violence and interrogation the way men do. Once again men are more protective. ahmm..didn't you say...EVOLUTION? Link to post Share on other sites
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