Author MistyK Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 Other things from the playbook: Guilt- He went on about how I give him no credit for moving out and that he can never meet my ridiculous expectations. He said he's afraid to promise me anything because I might freak on him if he lingers for 15 extra minutes at the W's house. For the record -That is so unfair. He spends EVERY waking (non-work) minute there until the kids go to sleep, and often after that talking to his W. I don't think any girlfriend would be ok with that. Oh well, none of my concern now. But man this is hard. I am sure now that this will never work. I will never trust him again, never feel safe with him again. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 If he calls your desk again, you are going to have to be assertive and tell him I have asked you NOT to contact me anymore. IF this continues, I will report you to XXX or I will file harassment charges. DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN. And hang up. Do NOT listen to him. That is giving him YOUR power. Don't let him take your power. Link to post Share on other sites
northernsun Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 If you give him an inch, he will wedge his foot in the door and keep pushing. Remember he had you right where he wanted you. And he wants that back. But that is not what YOU want. Don't undo what has taken you so much strength to accomplish. Remember why you did it in the first place....time to re-read this forum from the beginning....Good luck. As you know from my notes and your comments, I was there. Yanking myself out was the hardest thing I ever did last August. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Why haven't you blocked his email yet? Reading his emails is just putting you in the line of temptation..Don't do that to yourself. If you don't recognize a number at work, let your machine pick it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Aquarius Rising Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Misty he is going to pull out all stops because he is too weak to realise that stringing you along is a really low thing to do to someone. He is thinking about himself and how much he is hurting because you've taken a stand to not be the OW anymore .... He's NOT thinking about you here .... he is projecting his own guilt on to you because he won't wear it for what he has been putting through you. He can promise anything ... and probably will .... but until he ACTIONS it, like lots of other people here have said ....... It means NOTHING! You have to get off the Roller-coaster honey ..... and that means NOT responding to him AT ALL and to start really caring about you. Interestingly, my xMM didn't ever fight for me really .... and if he did now, like your's is attempting too ...... I think I would find it a bit pathetic. Stay Strong ...... Remember, if this was your daughter .... what advice would you be giving her about this man? AR (hug) Link to post Share on other sites
Author MistyK Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 Interestingly, my xMM didn't ever fight for me really .... and if he did now, like your's is attempting too ...... I think I would find it a bit pathetic. AR (hug) I don't think he's fighting for me, really, he's fighting because his W is finally telling him to screw off at about the same time I did. He's pissed because we took our marbles and went home and now he stands alone. (He has even had the nuts to tell me that - "It is as my uncle predicted, that I would end up alone because I didn't make a decision, and so I feel a lot of loss and hurt right now.") Real "fighting" for me or our relationship would involve him accomplishing something - doing the documents for the divorce that he is supposed to complete, separating their finances, moving his stuff out of the W's house, having the kids at his house (and not spending hours upon hours with his wife at their marital residence every single day), etc. Even if he completed all of that, those last two could only have been implemented over the last 5 days, hardly long enough to establish a pattern. But of course, he didn't complete ANY of that and doesn't appear to be trying either based on his emails and the phone call yesterday. So if anything, it only strengthens my resolve. But damn it hurts. I cried for a long while again last night. And I have so much anxiety about the amount of debt I have and now the loss of my income....it's overwhelming. When it rains, it pours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MistyK Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 The trouble with him is he's very intelligent and very persuasive (his job depends on it!). I don't feel myself getting sucked back in by it - like all the other times - all I feel now is huge hole. He felt like a part of me and now I feel it missing. In a bizarre and unreliable way, he provided some safety for me - I guess I am just not used to being alone. I really do love him and in many ways it feels like I just cut off my legs to spare my heart. Now I gotta figure out how to get around again, some other way. Damn, it hurts so much. When does the constant crying stop? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Again...what ACTIVE MEASURES are in place to prevent him from contacting you? Link to post Share on other sites
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