Who are the apha-men?

[butcher's hook]

I don't think so.

 

I just don't buy your roundabout "definitions" of an alphamale, or your low blows directed at me because I don't find what you have described attractive to me personally.

 

Bottom line an alpha is the center of attention type of guy that all the women swoon over. I don't go for that type because I don't need to be with the class clown. Or the attention of all the other women on a man to prove to me his worth. I have the ability to see the individual beauty of man where as someone such as yourself needs to be spoon fed what beauty is.

 

Don't hate me because you need to be like everyone else.

[Sam Spade]

The real alpha male is the Most interesting man in the world. He speaks russion in french, if he were abducted by aliens they would ask him to anal probe them, which ever side of the track he is on is the right side, he is the alpha male.

 

Now where is my Dos XX.

 

These ads are brilliant, .

 

"Once he know he dialed the wrong number, although the man on the other side of the line would deny it"

 

Much was written about the "alphas" need to 'dominate' and 'lead'. Only a few posters asked - to dominate what? to what end? and why? In the name of some goal, or as an end in itself/just for the sake of it? If there is no constructive, purposeful answer to that, if I was a woman, I would possibly bag a dude like that and sit on his face on a spring break, but certainly wouldn't let him anywhere close to my life and long term plans

[Ariadne]

"alphas" need to 'dominate' and 'lead'.

to dominate what? to what end? and why?

 

That is just a consequence of how awesome they are, it just happens.

 

When you have a guy that is great at what he does, charismatic, smart, funny, that people love, with great ideas, etc.

 

It is natural that people follow.

[Dexter Morgan]

Could you please explain me who the alpha-men are?

What are their characterictics?

 

Women, do you have any experiences of dating them?

Do you like them and dating them?

 

Men, does anyone consider yourself to be an alpha men?

Men, what do you think about them?

 

I'm a confident guy, but wouldn't consider myself an alpha male. to do that I'd have to think my sh#t doesn't stink and that I'm god's gift to women.

 

and the women that like them will usually end up being the ones complaining about them when they turn out to be the cheating d!ckheads that they are. To me, alpha male is pretty much what one might consider a "bad boy"

[Dexter Morgan]

To me it is a male who lives as he pleases, and cares for who he pleases, without worrying whether or not anyone else is impressed with it.

An alpha male can show affection for a woman and not care if other guys think he is soft.

An alpha male doesn't wonder if he is alpha or alpha enough.

He certainly doesn't read books or go to sites so he can assure himself that he is an alpha enough alpha male.

He doesn't need other people to stand down or hold back so he can continue to feel like a man.

He doesn't waste his time worrying about that crap - he is too busy being the guy everyone turns too to get their problems resolved.

They turn to him because he is constant and honorable.

 

everything you described is just a plain old dependable, upstanding definition of a man.

 

I don't consider the above to be an alpha male.

[butcher's hook]

That is just a consequence of how awesome they are, it just happens.

 

When you have a guy that is great at what he does, charismatic, smart, funny, that people love, with great ideas, etc.

 

It is natural that people follow.

 

You know who comes to mind when you describe it like that? Brad Pitt, or Tom Cruise, Charlie Sheen the list goes on and on... I guess you could say they would fit the bill perfectly in what you describe. Funny, charming, extremely good looking everyone wants to be like them and naturally gravitate towards them.

 

Are they awesome?

 

Well if you think being a cheater and liar who goes back on his words and is a moral coward is awesome then sure! (Brad Pitt)(Sheen)

 

And if you think being a controlling, mental case with a Napoleon complex is also awesome, then sure again! (Tom Cruise)

 

 

 

 

and the women that like them will usually end up being the ones complaining about them when they turn out to be the cheating d!ckheads that they are. To me, alpha male is pretty much what one might consider a "bad boy"

 

I would definitely agree.

[Sam Spade]

That is just a consequence of how awesome they are, it just happens.

 

When you have a guy that is great at what he does, charismatic, smart, funny, that people love, with great ideas, etc.

 

It is natural that people follow.

 

 

What about Gandhi? I always mention them in the reoccuring alpha thread, courtesy some other poster.

The mushiest, scrawniest, most lame dude you can imagine per any of the above conventional criteria, but guess what - he stared down the brits like it's a stroll in the park.

So, what about humility, eh? It ain't alpha manly, I guess.

[Ariadne]

What about Gandhi? I always mention them in the reoccuring alpha thread, courtesy some other poster.

The mushiest, scrawniest, most lame dude you can imagine per any of the above conventional criteria, but guess what - he stared down the brits like it's a stroll in the park.

So, what about humility, eh? It ain't alpha manly, I guess.

 

I'd consider Gandhi definitely an alpha man.

[Ariadne]

You know who comes to mind when you describe it like that?

 

I think you are dating some beta guy and are just upset about the notion of an alpha man.

[Ariadne]

a guy that is great at what he does, charismatic, smart, funny, that people love, with great ideas, etc.

It is natural that people follow.

 

They are intelligent, powerful, in charge, people respect them, have a good sense of humor, and are very confident.

 

See? Gandhi fits them all.

[kdark]

That is just a consequence of how awesome they are, it just happens.

 

When you have a guy that is great at what he does, charismatic, smart, funny, that people love, with great ideas, etc.

 

It is natural that people follow.

 

I find alphas that feel the need to dominate extremely annoying. Bringing them down from their high horse in an argument is very satisfying. I loved outsmarting my old boss in arguments. Granted, I'm still pretty young and the majority of my experience with them is the boisterous, annoying drunkard in a bar/party.

[Woggle]

Even so called feminists get bored with the beta males. Look at any feminist type married to a sensitive and enlightened man and 9 times out of 10 she despises him and in some cases is cheating on him with a player.

[butcher's hook]

So, what about humility, eh? It ain't alpha manly, I guess.

 

 

 

No Sam humility is balked at around these places. I have seen comments come and go in terms of why humility does not fly. We live in a society obsessed with "self confidence" or perceived signs of selfconfidence and on how a person can best manifest displays of such. So much so that humility has become the number one nemesis of being considered on "top of your game" it is a weakness not a virtue.

 

One of the most influential male interactions I had was with a journalist and writer I met from abroad. I got to spend a week with him in different social situations and what really impressed me about this man wasn't his ability to interact with others in a free flowing manner, for he was more on the demure side, or his precise diction when recounting his experiences and life stories, or even the idea that he had written a few successful books and won awards for his stories. Rather it was the level of humility in this man's demeanor. He spoke with property, had immense wit and he articulated very well and you could see the level of culture this man had but his overall presence was not "in your face". It was humble and filled with dignity and poise. He was not even good looking and rather on the frail side but I found myself extremely drawn to him, not in a romantic sense but in a sense of admiration and great respect. Someone I could definitely see in an iconic light. It was unlike anything I was used to when it comes to people at his level in terms of social and professional success and ever since I try to look for those qualities in the people who surround me.

 

I have found the people who do best in life are the ones who posses a good balance of everything I just described.

[butcher's hook]

I think you are dating some beta guy and are just upset about the notion of an alpha man.

 

 

I think I am dating a man who does not fall into any particular social category, I also think you would benefit from doing the same rather than putting all your eggs in a basket for an unrequited love that was more a figment of your imagination than a true love story. If I read your story he fits the bill exactly to what everyone describes as the "alpha male"

So I ask: "where did it get you Ariadne?"

[Taramere]

Even so called feminists get bored with the beta males. Look at any feminist type married to a sensitive and enlightened man and 9 times out of 10 she despises him and in some cases is cheating on him with a player.

 

I think the word "sensitive" can have negative connotations in either gender. Often sensitive translates as being easily moved towards strong emotion. To be a strength, it needs to be combined with a bit of self awareness and responsibility (eg recognising that you're responsible over your own emotions, and shouldn't constantly be blaming other people for them).

 

I'll give you an example of an alphamale. Richard Branson. He seems to have an endless passion for life and for his work. When BA tried to destroy Virgin airlines with a dirty tricks campaign, he took them to task for it and he won. He's surrounded by people who adore working for him, and if you read his book you'll see that love and respect for his family are hugely important core values for him.

 

Compare that to someone like Donald Trump. To my mind, DT is only considered to be an alphamale because he has a lot of money.....and there's nothing alpha about the aura of unpleasantness that seems to accompany him everywhere he and that blonde rat on his head go. He's made plenty of negative comments about Richard Branson in the past. Why? Probably because Richard Branson does what he does out of a passion for life, and the people around him love him. Money seems to be Donald Trump's passion, and while people may well suck up to him because of his wealth I rather doubt that he's genuinely loved by many of them.

[Woggle]

I know people who have worked for Trump in Atlantic City and he is great to his employees. He pays very well and gives good benefits. The reason he is so flashy is because he actually grew up poor. When a person finally aquires something they never had there is a tendency to want to show it off.

[Taramere]

I know people who have worked for Trump in Atlantic City and he is great to his employees. He pays very well and gives good benefits. The reason he is so flashy is because he actually grew up poor. When a person finally aquires something they never had there is a tendency to want to show it off.

 

Woggle, Donald Trump's father was a wealthy real estate guy who funded a lot of his son's business activities.

[sally4sara]

everything you described is just a plain old dependable, upstanding definition of a man.

 

I don't consider the above to be an alpha male.

 

I'm not surprised; negative people have negative views of stereotypes they don't think they fit into.

I also don't think any stereotype is so accurate that they cannot have qualities of others.

You think of an alpha guy in negative "bad boy" terms. PUA use their negative actions to qualify themselves as being the alpha guy they try (and fail) to be. Both concepts are flawed because they focus male success on little more than a man's success at getting sex. Sex is important but it is not a proper measure for overall success for anyone. The Pope would have to have some alpha qualities just to become the Pope for instance.

 

I think most people discussing this would agree that an alpha guy is successful in the life he decides to live. The "Bad Boy" isn't always successful at life. Neither are the guys doing the PUA attempt at being Alpha Man Skirt Chaser 2.0.

 

Maybe you are dealing with a point in your life where you don't feel like you've got things under control yet. Maybe you know the life you want to live by are still on the trip there so that why you don't feel "alpha" yet. I promise you though, no amount of aimless skirt chasing and/or bad boy jerk around is going to bring anyone real success in the long haul. An alpha male is far more often dependable than he is cruel and careless.

[carhill]

Woggle, Donald Trump's father was a wealthy real estate guy who funded a lot of his son's business activities.

Yeah, I was thinking that Fred Trump didn't exactly meet the definition of poor. Donald's flashy because that's his personality.

[butcher's hook]

. Sex is important but it is not a proper measure for overall success for anyone. The Pope would have to have some alpha qualities just to become the Pope for instance.

 

I think most people discussing this would agree that an alpha guy is successful in the life he decides to live. The "Bad Boy" isn't always successful at life. Neither are the guys doing the PUA attempt at being Alpha Man Skirt Chaser 2.0.

 

 

 

I tend to agree with your views, good point on the Pope.

 

The thing is when you say an alpha is successful in what life he chooses is that according to himself or social perception, because then we are back to square one. An alpha is perceived as the guy people want to be but not entirely sure why. A player or bad boy may feel successful in his existence since his goal is to prey on women and discard of them at his leisure...where as others may not see that as success but to them that IS success.

 

Success according to whom? How are we measuring success?

[sally4sara]

I tend to agree with your views, good point on the Pope.

 

The thing is when say an alpha is successful in what life he chooses is that according to himself or social perception, because then we are back to square one. An alpha is perceived as the guy people want to be but not entirely sure why. A player or bad boy may feel successful in his existence since his goal is to prey on women and discard of them at his leisure...where as others may not see that as success but to them that IS success.

 

Success according to whom? How are we measuring success?

 

Its a balance of both measures. A guy who does something in life that results in say, having produced healthy offspring and seen them to adulthood - this is biological success our society recognizes. But if he did it because someone convinced him he HAD to do it or no one would see him as successful......well that isn't a leader's mindset.

Another example would be a guy who became successful at material gain. Our society recognizes this as another measure of success. If he did it by being a doctor because his dad insisted he go to med school instead of being a photographer - this is a follower.

A man who has achieved overall success can blend in anywhere and still exude the impression that he is exactly where he intended to be and likes where he is going. It really doesn't matter if his life is you or my idea of success, but it probably will be anyway. He is happy about it regardless and it's that confidence is what make the difference. It will bring him success in almost anything he puts his sights on - flashy or not.

 

The bad boy causes people unrest. So does the skirt chaser. Both are really bad at adapting to new situations and race against time. Every year that they don't learn to adapt, learn new tricks only sees them a year older with nothing substantial to show for it. The also play a game of odds. Every year they up their chance of taking collateral damage for their lifestyle that can sometimes lead to consequences they didn't choose and cannot change.

[butcher's hook]

Nice one Sally!! I knew you'd come through with something to really sink your teeth into. This is exactly what I would find appealing in a true leader of a man. As I mentioned earlier a man who is an independent thinker, and who is considerate and adaptable. NOT some clown with a loud mouth who dominates social situations and has a permanent audience everywhere he goes, and who overcompensates with trite displays of selfassurance in order to appear like he has it together. Not by a long shot.

 

Being the most charming, wealthiest, funniest, best looking, the strongest physically and a hunter does not an ideal man make, those qualities alone are all superficial qualities that could easily equal "player", in my books.

[Noos]

I studied with them and work with them.

 

• They are the partners in big businesses.
  
• The ones who think the rules of social ettiquette do not apply to them but they enforce them on everyone else.
  
• They expect everyone to bow down to them.
  
• They judge other people on how much money they earn and their social status.
  
• You are expendable if you don't have something that can contribute to the their social status.
  
• They are materialistic.
  
• They don't have to be good looking - they have massive egos so they just assume they are good looking.
  
• They only care about other people on their level and even then, there is an underlying element of competition between them and their peers that never goes away.
  
• They are selfish and thinks they are clever but they know of nothing outside their own little world (unless it directly affects their own interests).
  

Avoid them at all costs.

[DMoon]

I studied with them and work with them.

 

• They are the partners in big businesses.
  
• The ones who think the rules of social ettiquette do not apply to them but they enforce them on everyone else.
  
• They expect everyone to bow down to them.
  
• They judge other people on how much money they earn and their social status.
  
• You are expendable if you don't have something that can contribute to the their social status.
  
• They are materialistic.
  
• They don't have to be good looking - they have massive egos so they just assume they are good looking.
  
• They only care about other people on their level and even then, there is an underlying element of competition between them and their peers that never goes away.
  
• They are selfish and thinks they are clever but they know of nothing outside their own little world (unless it directly affects their own interests).
  

Avoid them at all costs.

 

Those descriptions do not apply to quality or authentic men. You are merely describing the destructive actions of socially acceptable narcissistic psychopaths.

[Island Girl]

NOT some clown with a loud mouth who dominates social situations and has a permanent audience everywhere he goes' date=' and who overcompensates with trite displays of selfassurance in order to appear like he has it together. Not by a long shot.[/quote']

 

All of the qualities described would be anti-Alpha behavior actually.