Taramere Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 If you think about it an Alpha male' date=' by definition, is overly concerned with being the leader in every sense, there is no room for a partnership when a person needs to overpower every single aspect of their existence all the time.[/quote'] Some men just naturally gravitate towards taking charge and getting stuff done....and yes, if they're not careful it can start to seem a bit controlling. I think that's relatively easily addressed in a naturally dominant but reasonable man who just hasn't stopped to think about whether other people want him to automatically take charge in a particular situation. It's only liable to be a problem for the insecure man who has a need to be perceived as "the boss" at all costs. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Oozy was funnier... Yes as in: Tun tadaaaadaaaaa Alphaman "oozies" confidence and power. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Some men just naturally gravitate towards taking charge and getting stuff done....and yes, if they're not careful it can start to seem a bit controlling. I think that's relatively easily addressed in a naturally dominant but reasonable man who just hasn't stopped to think about whether other people want him to automatically take charge in a particular situation. It's only liable to be a problem for the insecure man who has a need to be perceived as "the boss" at all costs. "If you insist on controlling the barbeque even if you're not the host - you're a Mitchum man" "If you told your girlfriend that those photos are for your personal use only - you're a Mitchum man" "If you deleted the unflatering ones - you're a sensitive mitchum man" Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Yes as in: Tun tadaaaadaaaaa Alphaman "oozies" confidence and power. I was thinking along the lines of something more graphic and probably unprintable, but that works too. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I think that's relatively easily addressed in a naturally dominant but reasonable man who just hasn't stopped to think about whether other people want him to automatically take charge in a particular situation. It's only liable to be a problem for the insecure man who has a need to be perceived as "the boss" at all costs. Ever try to get a doctor an executive or a lawyer to stop and smell the roses? I have dated all, let me tell you it is no an easy task. Not my idea of ideal relationship material. But that's just me. I think there is nothing more beautiful than sharing a "nothing" moment with someone you love where you can just exist together because you are breathing. Overachievers just don't understand how to do this and this is where they lack depth. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I was thinking along the lines of something more graphic and probably unprintable, but that works too. Check! get out of my dirty head, I am warning you it can get pretty scary in there... Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Holding his oozy in his hand... *shudder* Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Ever try to get a doctor an executive or a lawyer to stop and smell the roses? I have dated all' date=' let me tell you it is no an easy task. [/quote'] Sure. I've worked as a lawyer myself, and I've dated other lawyers. Getting them to stop and smell the roses is a hard task if they're on the other side of the table from you in court. And so it should be. In a dating or friendship situation it's easier. Still challenging when it comes to issues you both take a very different stance on, perhaps, but I find that fun. It probably hinges on whether you enjoy dominant men and have the ability to challenge them without it becoming unpleasant, or if you feel a natural dislike of them. A totally controlling and aggressive man - that's something different. But most dominant men I've met enjoy being challenged, if it's done playfully rather than angrily. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 It probably hinges on whether you enjoy dominant men and have the ability to challenge them without it becoming unpleasant, or if you feel a natural dislike of them. I enjoy dominant men in the bedroom and men who give and taken outside the bedroom. The thing is I love a man who can make love to my mind, (or is it feck my brains out?) just as much as the next girl but when it comes to love I have no real desire to be sitting opposite the man I love in "court" defending my stance and looking for ways to trump his stance or pulling rabbits out of a top hat to be a "good challenge" for him so that he can feel like he is in power yet in another realm and entertained. Get a pet monkey it's less hassles in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Sure. I've worked as a lawyer myself, and I've dated other lawyers. Getting them to stop and smell the roses is a hard task if they're on the other side of the table from you in court. And so it should be. In a dating or friendship situation it's easier. Still challenging when it comes to issues you both take a very different stance on, perhaps, but I find that fun. It probably hinges on whether you enjoy dominant men and have the ability to challenge them without it becoming unpleasant, or if you feel a natural dislike of them. A totally controlling and aggressive man - that's something different. But most dominant men I've met enjoy being challenged, if it's done playfully rather than angrily. It is fun! S. is my first run at dating a lawyer and he's a blast! While he doesn't play emotional games, he certainly plays flirtatious, mentally challenging games. In the past, I've always steered clear of lawyers, keeping them as friends and business contacts. My mistake which I will openly admit now. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Oh I see, so only lawyers are intellectually stimulating now? :lmao: This thread is getting better and better. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Oh I see' date=' so only lawyers are intellectually stimulating now? :lmao:[/quote'] Nobody said that. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Nobody said that. It would appear there is an equation to mentally stimulating men who want and give a mental challenge to the likes of men who are doctors, executive, lawyers etc..."alphamales or dominants" as you had previously introduced. When you said it hinged on whether you like dominant men who like to be challenged. Then the example of the lawyer boyfriend loving to give mental challenges comes up. I think enjoying a mental challenge, or an intellectually stimulating conversation which is essentially what it is, has less to do with dominance and it is more intrinsically what men are like regardless of how socially dominant they are or what their overachieving careers are. A computer geek who is shy and demure is just as up for a good mental challenge if not moreso than the corporate executive who sits prosed up at the hipster bar in his pin striped suit and martini in hand. In fact, the latter is just looking for an opportunity to outshine a woman who will try to step on his alpha tail where as the former is really just there for an exchange of intellectually stimulating banter. I still prefer the former. I like to cut through the bullsht I guess you can say.... Link to post Share on other sites
MattyTee Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 It would appear there is an equation to mentally stimulating men who want and give a mental challenge to the likes of men who are doctors, executive, lawyers etc..."alphamales or dominants" as you had previously introduced. When you said it hinged on whether you like dominant men who like to be challenged. Then the example of the lawyer boyfriend loving to give mental challenges comes up. I think enjoying a mental challenge, or an intellectually stimulating conversation which is essentially what it is, has less to do with dominance and it is more intrinsically what men are like regardless of how socially dominant they are or what their overachieving careers are. A computer geek who is shy and demure is just as up for a good mental challenge if not moreso than the corporate executive who sits prosed up at the hipster bar in his pin striped suit and martini in hand. In fact, the latter is just looking for an opportunity to outshine a woman who will try to step on his alpha tail where as the former is really just there for an exchange of intellectually stimulating banter. I still prefer the former. I like to cut through the bullsht I guess you can say.... Well said! Intellectual challenge can be found in both dominating and non-dominating people. A question you could ask is whether the person you are playing mental table tennis with is trying to win at all costs or is simply engaging in a stimulating 'game'. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 It would appear there is an equation to mentally stimulating men who want and give a mental challenge to the likes of men who are doctors, executive, lawyers etc..."alphamales or dominants" as you had previously introduced. When you said it hinged on whether you like dominant men who like to be challenged. Then the example of the lawyer boyfriend loving to give mental challenges comes up. I think enjoying a mental challenge, or an intellectually stimulating conversation which is essentially what it is, has less to do with dominance and it is more intrinsically what men are like regardless of how socially dominant they are or what their overachieving careers are. A computer geek who is shy and demure is just as up for a good mental challenge if not moreso than the corporate executive who sits prosed up at the hipster bar in his pin striped suit and martini in hand. In fact, the latter is just looking for an opportunity to outshine a woman who will try to step on his alpha tail where as the former is really just there for an exchange of intellectually stimulating banter. I still prefer the former. I like to cut through the bullsht I guess you can say.... I am a college professor, doctorate and all, and my needs for "mental challenge/stimulation" (in a relationship) are very limited . Me and my silly girlfriend (in her own words) have an IQ discrepancy of at least 30 points, and I'm perfectly happy with her. Emotional intelligence and goofy sense of humor are way higher on the list of essential traits (and she excels in those), while she's perfectly capable of discussing all the existential things that matter to most or all people. So, while witty intelecto-repartees are often enjoyable, I doubt their importance for actual relationship (and don't doubt their importance in snobbyish social situations ). In previous relationship, I'd engage in lengthy and agressive arguments, just so I could prove my ex (a PhD rocket scientist, no less) how wrong she is. SHe was, but that's not being intellectually stimulating on my side, that's being a dick. In other words, character trumps intellect, always. Trust me, I'm a doctor ! Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 To Sam Spade: there you go, even "alpha males" find "alphas" annoying! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 I guess, conversely, you ain't a decent person unless you're an alpha; girls surely seem to think that way :laugh:. Nah, then you have your average guy. Average Joe (95% of men). They may have a good job, somewhat successful, may have an education, may even have some girls in love with them, may be intelligent, good looking, may be confident in certain occasions, etc etc. But the alpha-men are just awesome. They totally stand out. Examples of alpha-men in movies: In the new Star Trek movies, both Spock and Kirk, Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind, Sean Connery as James Bond, most of John Wayne characters, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Nah, then you have your average guy. Average Joe (95% of men). They may have a good job, somewhat successful, may have an education, may even have some girls in love with them, may be intelligent, good looking, may be confident in certain occasions, etc etc. But the alpha-men are just awesome. They totally stand out. Examples of alpha-men in movies: In the new Star Trek movies, both Spock and Kirk, Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind, Sean Connery as James Bond, most of John Wayne characters, etc. Then I'm an average guy allright. But I'll totally kick John Wayne's azz, due to my passing resemblance to Charles Bronson, and Charles Bronson always trumps John Wayne, everybody knows that; so, Mr. Wayne (and all other alpha males) can lick my bollocks , uh-oh. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Alpha-males are men who take control of our own lives and don't live under another person's thumb. It's not abut being a player or being arrogent or any of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Alpha-males are men who take control of our own lives and don't live under another person's thumb. It's not abut being a player or being arrogent or any of that. This I agree with. (I know Woggle! I can't believe it either! ) My husband is the guy other guys want to be friends with and gravitate towards - and the one the girls in the room want to date. He isn't pompous or arrogant but he is extremely confident in himself and who he is. He has no problem being himself always and in all situations. He is demonstrative when he wants to be and really doesn't care what others think - in fact he'd probably wonder why other people would be concerned about what he does or doesn't do because it is such a foreign concept to him. Whereas other people have said the term Alpha Male is just a stereotype it is referenced a lot in biology and sociology in regards to all social animals - including humans. In my world there are members of these communities and I have witnessed quite a few conversations about Alphas, Betas, and Omegas in our society. All are necessary and all fill a need. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Alpha-males are men who take control of our own lives and don't live under another person's thumb. It's not abut being a player or being arrogent or any of that. Erm, well if that is an Alphamale, which the description changes yet again, then an alphamale is just a guy who has his sht together. I am with an alpahmale now then! Wow. The entire label is stupid. There is no one definition and the reason everyone keeps attaching these fantastical examples to it is because it means something completely different for everyone. Might as well call the alphamale "The Chupacabra"! I mean c'mon Brett Butler (professional gambler), James Bond? (player!!) these are the characters women want in real life? No wonder everyone is single and miserable! This thread and the silly spectrum of definitions is just ridiculous!! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Erm, well if that is an Alphamale, which the description changes yet again, then an alphamale is just a guy who has his sht together. I am with an alpahmale now then! Wow. The entire label is stupid. There is no one definition and the reason everyone keeps attaching these fantastical examples to it is because it means something completely different for everyone. Might as well call the alphamale "The Chupacabra"! I mean c'mon Brett Butler (professional gambler), James Bond? (player!!) these are the characters women want in real life? No wonder everyone is single and miserable! This thread and the silly spectrum of definitions is just ridiculous!! Most players are alpha-males but that doesn't mean that most alpha-males are players. A man has to have a spine and not be an oversensitive wimp in order to be a player because that is how he keeps from getting attached. If a man commits to a woman on his own terms and does not put his balls in her purse he is also an alpha. James Bond is a fictional character so there is no way of knowing how we would do in real life. I don't know who the other guy is but anybody who can make a fortune without being a corporate slave is certainly an attractive person in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Erm' date=' well if that is an Alphamale, which the description changes yet again, then [b']an alphamale is just a guy who has his sht together[/b]. A bit more than that actually. The entire label is stupid. There is no one definition and the reason everyone keeps attaching these fantastical examples to it is because it means something completely different for everyone. Might as well call the alphamale "The Chupacabra"! Have you studied Human Biology and Sociology at all? I mean c'mon Brett Butler (professional gambler)' date=' James Bond? (player!!) these are the characters women want in real life? No wonder everyone is single and miserable! [/quote'] Who is Brett Butler... And not everyone is single and miserable. Some aren't single and are quite happy. Others are single and blissful. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 A bit more than that actually. Yeah spare me on your personal definition. Chupacabra. Have you studied Human Biology and Sociology at all? Yup. Who is Brett Butler... Rhett Butler, you know what I meant. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 Who is Brett Butler... Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind: (watch) Link to post Share on other sites
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