Who are the apha-men?

[Taramere]

I don't think it's offense as such but rather an inaccurate use of the term. People who are truly accepting of themselves and have true confidence - which in my opinion is not based upon egotistical comparisons with other people - don't need a term to desribe them. You only have to search on google the term 'alpha male' to find several articles and paid downloads on how to become the alpha (and it is almost always about attracting girls). My feeling is that that is fake, the pigeon-holing is unnecessary and for the people 'dating' alpha males, why do they feel the need to say so? That to me just seems like a bit of an ego-massage....

 

And I think maybe that's what Citizen was saying too

 

There must be a small part of most people that wonders how they would manage in the wilderness. Would they either be, or attract (and therefore be protected by) the fittest and most likely to survive?

 

As far as women saying they attract alphamales goes - some women do. It might be because of their looks, or it might be because there's something about them that brings out the protective instincts in the male. That desire and ability to protect is, so long as its not overdone, extremely attractive in a male. Men who don't have it can still make good playmates, but they don't have the same emotional and physical draw as a stronger, protective type does. On a very basic, survival level, from a woman's perspective the alphamale is the one who is best equipped to protect her from danger. This might be why so many PUA techniques revolve around encouraging a woman to feal insecure (a very diluted form of the fearful feeling she'd get in a threatening situation) and then reassuring or "rescuing" her from that feeling he personally encouraged her to have in the first place.

 

The problem being that trying to artificially create all those feelings in another person is liable to create the usual mess that tampering with nature creates. If a woman sees through a man's attempts to make her feel insecure, then he's going to seem like a cunning predator rather than the desired alphamale. The alphamale is probably the one who watches other men make that blunder, and then steps in...or "AMOGS" them. I often wonder if that's the main driver for some of the men who advocate "treat her mean, keep her keen".

[Sam Spade]

There must be a small part of most people that wonders how they would manage in the wilderness. Would they either be, or attract (and therefore be protected by) the fittest and most likely to survive?

 

As far as women saying they attract alphamales goes - some women do. It might be because of their looks, or it might be because there's something about them that brings out the protective instincts in the male. That desire and ability to protect is, so long as its not overdone, extremely attractive in a male. Men who don't have it can still make good playmates, but they don't have the same emotional and physical draw as a stronger, protective type does. On a very basic, survival level, from a woman's perspective the alphamale is the one who is best equipped to protect her from danger.

 

Yes, yes, and yes, and that's also why the only pairing that actually makes sense is an alpha :rolleyes: male and an actually feminine woman (an increasingly rare old-world quality, much like handsewn shoes ). Understood to mean not submissive/repressed , but kind, sweet, demure etc.. Hence, the non-uniform success rate in attracting 'alphas':rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: in the female population .

[Taramere]

Yes, yes, and yes, and that's also why the only pairing that actually makes sense is an alpha :rolleyes: male and an actually feminine woman (an increasingly rare old-world quality, much like handsewn shoes ). Understood to mean not submissive/repressed , but kind, sweet, demure etc.. Hence, the non-uniform success rate in attracting 'alphas':rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: in the female population .

 

That's me! Kind, sweet and demure!

 

Another way of looking at it is "runt of the litter". Another example from the camping trip. It had come to the point where the food (prepared by the martyr of the group who took speedy ownership of the bbq rejecting all offers of help, then complained about having done all the work) was ready.

 

The pack assembled in order of hierarchy, with the exception of alphamale who waited on the outskirts - presumably monitoring the goings on and ensuring that everyone got fed. I was also on the outskirts - partly as I'd been invited along by a friend and didn't know most of the group, and also because it offends my sensibilities to rampage my way through a crowd for my share of the burning sausages.

 

A man, let's call him B, shoved past me and earned an instant rebuke from Alphamale.

 

"Ummmm....mate. Ever heard of the phrase ladies first?"

 

B: "Oh, I see. Ladies first, eh? I thought it was supposed to be all equal opportunities these days. They wanted feminism - they've got it. Eh?" (turning to look at me with expression of smug conqueror).

 

Alphamale "Save it. We're not in the European Parliament here, pal. It's a social occasion - so show a few manners and stop shoving the ladies."

 

Gentleman alphamale versus resentfully thuggish betamale. The classic scenario that was probably playing out back in the days of the Stone Age, and will probably still be playing out in 100 years time.

[Trialbyfire]

That's me! Kind, sweet and demure!

 

Another way of looking at it is "runt of the litter". Another example from the camping trip. It had come to the point where the food (prepared by the martyr of the group who took speedy ownership of the bbq rejecting all offers of help, then complained about having done all the work) was ready.

 

The pack assembled in order of hierarchy, with the exception of alphamale who waited on the outskirts - presumably monitoring the goings on and ensuring that everyone got fed. I was also on the outskirts - partly as I'd been invited along by a friend and didn't know most of the group, and also because it offends my sensibilities to rampage my way through a crowd for my share of the burning sausages.

 

A man, let's call him B, shoved past me and earned an instant rebuke from Alphamale.

 

"Ummmm....mate. Ever heard of the phrase ladies first?"

 

B: "Oh, I see. Ladies first, eh? I thought it was supposed to be all equal opportunities these days. They wanted feminism - they've got it. Eh?" (turning to look at me with expression of smug conqueror).

 

Alphamale "Save it. We're not in the European Parliament here, pal. It's a social occasion - so show a few manners and stop shoving the ladies."

 

Gentleman alphamale versus resentfully thuggish betamale. The classic scenario that was probably playing out back in the days of the Stone Age, and will probably still be playing out in 100 years time.

I'm laughing my head off over this apt description!

[Taramere]

I'm laughing my head off over this apt description!

 

Human dynamics at their most basic can be observed in the stone age setting of a camping trip. No wonder so many corporate organisations use outdoor pursuits for teambuilding exercises. I'm seriously thinking of starting some kind of business running camping trips for "teams in trouble". Even if I didn't actually help the teams in trouble in any tangible sense, it would be excellent fun watching the goings-on.

[Trialbyfire]

Human dynamics at their most basic can be observed in the stone age setting of a camping trip. No wonder so many corporate organisations use outdoor pursuits for teambuilding exercises. I'm seriously thinking of starting some kind of business running camping trips for "teams in trouble". Even if I didn't actually help the teams in trouble in any tangible sense, it would be excellent fun watching the goings-on.

If you're looking for a partner in this endeavor, count me in. Betamale chest beating, is always a riot to watch, albeit it draws no wimmins, for the purposes of reproduction.

[Taramere]

If you're looking for a partner in this endeavor, count me in. Betamale chest beating, is always a riot to watch, albeit it draws no wimmins, for the purposes of reproduction.

 

I think Canada in the summer would be a very promising setting for this type of enterprise. Just remember who's in charge of it, though!

[Trialbyfire]

I think Canada in the summer would be a very promising setting for this type of enterprise. Just remember who's in charge of it, though!

If you make good decisions, you'll not hear a peep from me. Make bad decisions and I get to veto. If that works for you too, Canada in the summer is a done deal!

[Taramere]

If you make good decisions, you'll not hear a peep from me. Make bad decisions and I get to veto. If that works for you too, Canada in the summer is a done deal!

 

That's settled then. All that's left is to do a practice run on the members here. $1200 per person, not including flights, should cover it nicely. I think it's about time we found out who the real alphamales on this site are., and perhaps we could advertise on that other site too. People could wear their usernames on a tag. I think it would be an incredibly interesting experiment.

 

Tony, in view of the "no get togethers to be arranged here" it is just a joke. Maybe.

[Lyssa]

That's settled then. All that's left is to do a practice run on the members here. $1200 per person, not including flights, should cover it nicely. I think it's about time we found out who the real alphamales on this site are., and perhaps we could advertise on that other site too. People could wear their usernames on a tag. I think it would be an incredibly interesting experiment.

 

Tony, in view of the "no get togethers to be arranged here" it is just a joke. Maybe.

 

I remember that site.. those were the days..

[Shygirl15]

i am alphamale

Doubt if alpha males would ask for tips on how to charm a girl..

[butcher's hook]

It's funny that every single person that has posted and given a definition for "Alpha" males gave a different set of criteria and descriptors. Some were super vague others so detailed and ridiculous that it leads me to believe no one has a real clue what they are all talking about. :laugh:

In the end everything that was described here is anything but a shy introverted guy. Is that really what an Alpha is?

 

"The Alpha male label is simply a label people use to put people in boxes", I would have to agree with that. The funny thing is that if you ask any woman who was involved with a lying sack of sht for any period of time they will describe their mate as most if not all the descriptors that were offered in this thread. Is that REALLY what women want in a man?

 

 

 

And I couldn't disagree more that the Alpha will be the great protector and provider, in my experience it was the ones who would fall under the "beta" description that were the best protectors and providers, they really put themselves out on a line to give from the inside out. They loved from the inside out. Not the ones who fell under the "Alpha" description, those ones were very generous in financial and material ways but at the end of the day they were emotionally bankrupt and the only thing they protected was their own pride and self love. Typical of the player (I mean alpha) mentality really!

[Citizen Drawn]

So an alpha male is protective? Right, off to get me a small firearm before the weekend, that should be a real hit with the ladeees.

[butcher's hook]

Right, off to get me a small firearm before the weekend, that should be a real hit with the ladeees.

 

 

My knickers just dropped, c'mon in we're open!

 

 

:rolleyes:

[Citizen Drawn]

My knickers just dropped, c'mon in we're open!

 

 

:rolleyes:

 

Just wait until I whip it out and put one of those jerk beta's in his place. Ha, I am alpha! Fear the gun I point at your head and heed my advice!

[Taramere]

I remember that site.. those were the days..

 

Haha. It was akin to a recruitment campaign by the scientologists.

 

And I couldn't disagree more that the Alpha will be the great protector and provider' date=' in my experience it was the ones who would fall under the "beta" description that were the best protectors and providers. They loved from the inside out. Not the ones who fell under the "Alpha" description, those ones were very generous in financial and material ways but at the end of the day they were emotionally bankrupt and the only thing they protected was their own pride and self love. Typical of the player (I mean alpha) mentality really! [/quote']

 

It depends, I suppose, on whether the word "alpha" has positive or negative connotations for you. My worst relationship was with someone who I regarded as decidedly beta. I saw the relationship as an opportunity for me to learn a bit more independence and have an equal relationship, as I've always tended to be surrounded by quite controlling people - which encourages me to be lazy.

 

I took an uncharacteristically mothering approach towards this particular man. He was, indeed, self seeking and narcissistic, and perhaps on that basis other people might regard him as an "alpha". It's seriously hard for me to imagine anyone seeing him in those terms, though. He really didn't have that "alpha" vibe about him at all....and he ran like the wind when it was my turn to need a bit of support during a crisis. And generous? Not a chance in hell was he anything close to that. This is a guy who, if we went on a train trip, would carefully divvy up the cost of snacks as though he was on his last £5.

[butcher's hook]

Just wait until I whip it out and put one of those jerk beta's in his place. Ha, I am alpha! Fear the gun I point at your head and heed my advice!

 

I think you should make me do a beta and you can watch in digust yet secretly enjoy.

 

Wait, you're alphaman I shouldn't tell you what to do, you are the boss of me, you can read my mind amongst other super powers...

 

(suddenly picture you in a tight shiny chartreuse spandex unitard, with a big A across the front and a little black book in your left hand. Oh and the oozy in the other of course)

[GorillaTheater]

Oh and the oozy in the other of course)

 

I was going to suggest you meant "uzi", then realized you probably had it right the first time.

[Citizen Drawn]

I think you should make me do a beta and you can watch in digust yet secretly enjoy.

 

Wait, you're alphaman I shouldn't tell you what to do, you are the boss of me, you can read my mind amongst other super powers...

 

(suddenly picture you in a tight shiny chartreuse spandex unitard, with a big A across the front and a little black book in your left hand. Oh and the oozy in the other of course)

 

:D:D too funny

[Sam Spade]

hmm what are the characteristics of an alphamale, lets see:

• good looking
  
• smart/educated
  
• perceptive and follows his intuition
  
• experienced
  
• cultured
  
• has money but not necessarily "rich"
  
• knows how to please a woman
  
• independent and not needy
  
• has his own life
  
• is picky about who he lets into his "inner circle"
  
• has hobbies
  
• doesn't feel uncomfortable doing traditionally female tasks
  
• good with kids and animals
  
• has a good sense of humour and can laugh at himself
  
• generous but not overly so
  
• outgoing, confident
  
• knows when to keep his mouth shut
  
• doesn't kiss and tell
  
• doesn't let people take advantage of him
  
• has fun and makes the best of life
  
• makes friends easily
  
• takes the lead in things that are important to him
  
• is decisive and sticks with his decisions
  

 

 

So basically, you're an alpha if you're a half-decent guy/person.

I guess, conversely, you ain't a decent person unless you're an alpha; girls surely seem to think that way :laugh:.

 

It would never occur to me to label myself as an 'alpha', but I can surely put many a loudmouthed popular sissies in their place when the going gets tough .

 

In other words, while of course I admire quality man qualities - in myself and in other guys - whenever they are actually present, there is a very unfortunate tendency to label as 'alphe' behaviors that have weak to zero correlation with the person's underlying character. I blame it on the girls, just because they're so gullible .

[butcher's hook]

 

It depends, I suppose, on whether the word "alpha" has positive or negative connotations for you. My worst relationship was with someone who I regarded as decidedly beta. I saw the relationship as an opportunity for me to learn a bit more independence and have an equal relationship, as I've always tended to be surrounded by quite controlling people - which encourages me to be lazy.

 

 

 

Honestly Taramere, it does not even enter the equation for me when choosing a mate. I see the label as something stupid. Anyone can fall into the "characteristics" of an Alpha and be a useless prick, or be a great mate.

 

For me an Alpha is a player and the buck stops there. I would never even entertain the idea of dating a player, and I've been hit on by a few in my time, they are very good looking dressed to the nines, powerful, charming overly confident, great with words, come on very strong (read as "destermination" ) blah blah blah the list goes on and easily distracted by shiny objects. Players do nothing for me.

 

I suppose you can count me in on the negative camp then if at all.

 

I like a man who is equally self confident as he is humble and who is classy. Overly confident men are really insecure men who are just running from themselves so they have to put on a super strong front. In fact I find most of them really tacky. A man who is in tune with himself on an emotional level not a superficial one. A man of depth is where it's at for me. The rest is all filler and combinations of positives and negatives you are willing to work with.

 

If you think about it an Alpha male, by definition, is overly concerned with being the leader in every sense, there is no room for a partnership when a person needs to overpower every single aspect of their existence all the time.

[butcher's hook]

I was going to suggest you meant "uzi", then realized you probably had it right the first time.

 

 

Trust me I doubted it too after I hit "sumbit reply" I think you are right it is "uzi"

[MattyTee]

Honestly Taramere, it does not even enter the equation for me when choosing a mate. I see the label as something stupid. Anyone can fall into the "characteristics" of an Alpha and be a useless prick, or be a great mate.

 

For me an Alpha is a player and the buck stops there. I would never even entertain the idea of dating a player, and I've been hit on by a few in my time, they are very good looking dressed to the nines, powerful, charming overly confident, great with words, come on very strong (read as "destermination" ) blah blah blah the list goes on and easily distracted by shiny objects. Players do nothing for me.

 

I suppose you can count me in on the negative camp then if at all.

 

I like a man who is equally self confident as he is humble and who is classy. Overly confident men are really insecure men who are just running from themselves so they have to put on a super strong front. In fact I find most of them really tacky. A man who is in tune with himself on an emotional level not a superficial one. A man of depth is where it's at for me. The rest is all filler and combinations of positives and negatives you are willing to work with.

 

If you think about it an Alpha male, by definition, is overly concerned with being the leader in every sense, there is no room for a partnership when a person needs to overpower every single aspect of their existence all the time.

 

That little comment in bold made my day!!!

 

If you take the literal meaning of alpha male into the context of human society you end up with a dominant male. They may well be good looking, fitter, richer and so on but they will also aggressively defend their position as the dominant male and they will display characteristics that are actually unhealthy for relationships - selfishness, lack of sensitivity, lack of compromise etc. So, perhaps these guys are great at attracting women but in the long run do these relationships last? I think these alphas are most probably the guys that people come on here to post about... "My ex the ****head", "Why did he treat me so bad?" etc

[MattyTee]

Oozy was funnier...

[Phateless]

I think alpha-ness and attraction are subjective to a certain degree. I have a female friend who once insisted that my then-roommate was bigger/buffer than me. It didn't matter to me at all, but this cracked me up because I know for a fact that I weighed a solid 25 lbs more than him at the time.

 

Later on when she wasn't into him anymore she saw me again and volunteered that "...ok maybe you are bigger than he is."

 

I was amused by the whole thing and found it really interesting that attraction/infatuation/whatever could influence perception that much.

 

So yeah... she perceived him as more masculine because of whatever qualities he had that she was interested in for a potential mate. Fascinating, really...