iceis44 Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 What part of "I will bring home 100%" was confusing to you? She won't have to work so please what is my fair share of the dish washing? And I told you what ever YOU and HER DECIDE IT IS, did you miss that part? You are under 30 is my best guess ?? do tell Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Not sure if it's a deal breaker or not, but I think most men will be bothered by that. I really do not mind doing any of those traditional female roles though, as a matter of fact I enjoy doing them. I cook everyday after work, clean up, do laundry, even when I have a domestic helper at home. To me, that's just another way of spreading out my love to the people I care about. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 My boyfriend NEEDED me to be able to cook for him when he moved in with me... Some guys just do need you to. His parents are very traditional European, as in, the woman cooks/cleans/everything and the man reclines on the easy chair and expresses confusion when asked to operate the microwave. Yes, my bf's father cannot operate a microwave. He cannot reheat SOUP. She picks out his clothes for him too. My bf thinks his dad is absolutely RETARDED, but has still never had the CHANCE to cook anything himself either, as his mother (and grandmother) flurry around the kitchen cooking homecooked meals and REFUSING to let him cook anything for himself. The woman won't ever sit and eat with us, she hovers around after serving everyone, apologizing for the low quality of the food. She serves herself last, and then eats quickly, serves seconds to everyone, then gets up and starts clearing the dishes. The woman never stops moving. When my bf moved in I blew him away with my recipes I've amassed over the years. My specialties are desserts, but, well, those aren't as practical. The first time I asked him to make dinner was a day I had flu. All he had to do was heat up a CAN of chili on the stove. I explained how, and not to leave it, to put it on medium heat and keep stirring. He read the back of the can. Then, he cranked the heat up all the way to "cook it faster" and promptly burned it to a black sludge. The next time he was determined to make a steak for us(before we were vegetarian!)..... he used seasoning salt.... and then salt.... and then steak spice... without realising this would make the steak...salty. Then he served it. And my mouth practically turned inside out. I couldn't eat it, so he pouted and got pretty angry. In defiance, he ate all of the steak, mine and his.... cringing as he did so. He spent the rest of the night lying on the ground holding his stomach, moaning, "I think it's drying out my insiiiiiides!" I have been teaching him gradually, and he's very good. He can now make stir-fry, breakfast hash, eggs in a basket, curries, and has even made up some pretty damn good recipes using tofu, rice, and assorted sauces, beans and canned tomatoes. However, there have still been...issues. He still has problems figuring out what spices "go" together. The day he used italian pasta sauce with oregano and added mexian ground round with cumin..... well, we ordered sushi that night! The way to a man's heart really is through his stomach. I have had exes boast to friends and family about me. "She cooked the BEST MEAL last night!!!" "She can bring her DELICIOUS FUDGE to the potluck!" etcetera. My man may be PROUD of himself for cooking, but it's nothing compared to coming home to a house that smells of something amazing, and your gf/wife peeks around the corner, smiles and says, "Come on honey, take off the coat, dinners JUST being served!" It's a bonus, and you may not be EXPECTED to do it nowadays, but EVERYONE loves to come home and find an amazing dinner someone you love cooked for you. It may not be a dealbreaker, but in some cases I bet it's that last checkmark to a guy that says "THIS is the woman I'm going to marry!" And also, it's not too hard to learn. At least learn ONE really amazing dish. It doesn't even have to be hard to make, just make it taste like it. My showstopper was Balsamic Chicken with portobello mushrooms and goat cheese. My mom couldn't even believe I made it, My bf said it tasted like classy restaurant food. I sorta cobbled this one together from other recipes and things i like.. Do this, it's good. Unless you hate chicken...or vinegar... then I can't help you. (the strong vinegar taste boils off leaving only a tangyness) 4 Chicken Breasts 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar 1/4 cup red wine 1/2 cup water/chicken stock 1 small jar of sundried tomatoes, chopped 1 large portobello mushroom, sliced a hunk of goat cheese to put on each breast *Chopped potatoes(optional) 1 tbsp savory leaves 1 tbsp rosemary a bit of flour salt, pepper 1. coat chicken in salt and pepper, put in frying pan on medium high until they get that crispy brown skin(*optional at this time:add chopped potatos to cold water and set to boil) 2. Uhhh.... add everything else but the cheese and flour 3. Turn to medium-low heat, (*add half-cooked potatoes) and simmer for about half an hour uncovered, cover, and simmer for 15 more minutes 4. Check if chicken is white inside(NO SALMONELLA!!! ), if potatoes are edible and not crunchtastic 5. Serve breasts, arrange potaoes and make sure you scoop all solids out of the sauce that is left onto the plate... leave the sauce in the pan 6. Add a TEENY bit of flour, bit by bit until the sauce thickens to a gravy 7. Pour over meal, garnish with goat cheese 8. BLOW EVERYONE THE HECK AWAY! Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 I mean, cook up and freeze some meals on Sunday and give him a five minute blow job every day. Nothing if not efficient I don't know, man a 5-min BJ from the gf becomes 5-min of 69-ing, to 5-min of c**k teasing her, to 15 minutes of side-position, 5-min of drinking water, to 15-min of missionary LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 PinkKitty, which Starbucks shop are you sitting at? lol j/k. Love the recipe by the way. Gonna try it for my family. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 And I told you what ever YOU and HER DECIDE IT IS, did you miss that part? You are under 30 is my best guess ?? do tell I'm asking for your opinion, and my age seems irrelevant to that but I'm in my early 40s with a great career. Ready to settle down in other words. Link to post Share on other sites
andrewrost3241981 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Honestly, I don't care whether she can cook at all. If I ever find the right girl, and she can't cook, I don't really mind making dinner for both of us. As long as she loves me and I love her, I doubt that food will ever get in the way of our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Jaytb Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 It's not so much the ability to cook as the willingness to learn and open mindedness to cook that would be the deal breaker. If a woman is absolutely unwilling to learn and says she would never cook, that would be a deal breaker. But even if she can't cook but is willing to learn, that would be acceptable. And I am a guy who would be comfortable cooking and cleaning as well. I would want household tasks to be split up 50-50, and I'd hope both of us would cook sometimes and that we'd alternate with the task. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 The situation with me is that I don't cook and i don't have money to buy food...so I am thin and look rockin' in everything! I'm not skin & bone, but at least I'm not fat. At least I know that b/c I don't cook, if he doesn't cook, we will never have to worry about putting on weight. Link to post Share on other sites
iceis44 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I'm asking for your opinion, and my age seems irrelevant to that but I'm in my early 40s with a great career. Ready to settle down in other words. My opinion is, what ever you and her decide together what your portion of contrubution to the maintaince of the home IS, Its not that its her job to maintain the home, and yours to bring all the bacon, what if she wants to work at home, what if she wants to work part time? what if she wants to volunteer at the hospital, since you make enough to support the family, Is her opinion of value when making the financial decisions, will she be able to spend freely as needed to maintain home and image you desire? just some thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 My opinion is, what ever you and her decide together what your portion of contrubution to the maintaince of the home IS, Nicely dodged. Its not that ...., what if ...., what if ....? what if ...., If those what if's are not compatible with my requirements we won't be getting married. That sort of brings it right back on topic too - good job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 Honestly, I don't care whether she can cook at all. If I ever find the right girl, and she can't cook, I don't really mind making dinner for both of us. As long as she loves me and I love her, I doubt that food will ever get in the way of our relationship. Awesome answer, I am in love with you :love::love: Link to post Share on other sites
Author CandyGirlXO Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 The situation with me is that I don't cook and i don't have money to buy food...so I am thin and look rockin' in everything! I'm not skin & bone, but at least I'm not fat. At least I know that b/c I don't cook, if he doesn't cook, we will never have to worry about putting on weight. Yeah samehere, but if you don't cook (like me) you must eat out a lot right? I mean cheap things. I do, and even though I am thin now, I am sure it will catch up to me sooner or later. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Yeah samehere, but if you don't cook (like me) you must eat out a lot right? I mean cheap things. I do, and even though I am thin now, I am sure it will catch up to me sooner or later. I work out like a madwoman! lol Link to post Share on other sites
iceis44 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Nicely dodged. If those what if's are not compatible with my requirements we won't be getting married. That sort of brings it right back on topic too - good job. How is that a dodge? Just wondering what your stand is on your future wife, helping with the financial decisions, availablity of independent funds at her disposal? Just curious as to how far the "Me make the money, you take care of my needs" theme goes.?? Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 "Me make the money, you take care of my needs" theme goes.?? The theme is more like "I do what I do best and you do what you do best, and thus we can complement each other". The question I asked was simply seeking to discover what you would feel the appropriate split of housework would be if you were being completely fiscally supported by someone. Link to post Share on other sites
iceis44 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 What I find most amazing clv, Is all of us had a plan or progam for our lives. I am a planner believe me, seems just like you, as my girlfriend says "I make a plan, to make a plan." I say "I even make a plan, to take a ...oh well" But sure as you have a plan, someone will come along and change it, with just a breath, mark my words. I find humor in the fact, that a woman is gonna walk into your life, knock your socks off, tie them in a knot, and throw them on the floor, and if your are lucky you wont give a dip, if she can cook, clean, or catch a dust bunny on the run. Link to post Share on other sites
iceis44 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 The theme is more like "I do what I do best and you do what you do best, and thus we can complement each other". The question I asked was simply seeking to discover what you would feel the appropriate split of housework would be if you were being completely fiscally supported by someone. I would NEVER be completely fiscally supported by ANYONE! period Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 ..... a woman is gonna walk into your life, knock your socks off, tie them in a knot, and throw them on the floor, and if your are lucky you wont give a dip, if she can cook, clean, or catch a dust bunny on the run. Well I'm currently dating 3 girls who seem to be pretty good candidates so I'm not holding my breath waiting for anyone else to walk in. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I have no desire to cook and would never date a man who thought it was my job to cook for him. I am able to feed myself so I would hope that my boyfriend is able to do the same. I have no problem buying him a nice dinner or picking up some take out and bringing it home to him though. I just don't want to spend alot of time cooking especially since I don't really enjoy eating. I don't think cooking would be alot of fun for me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I'm not the best cook, but I do enjoy making meals that are tasty and healthy for my H. I like to sit down and have supper together, talk about our days.. If I don't feel like cooking, then we order in or on the way home from work he'll stop off somewhere and pick up burgers. Boyfriend/girlfriend dynamtic with meals are completely different when you're living with someone and/or commonlaw/married. You can't compare or have the same expectations or obligations to one another. Hope that makes sense..It did in my head. LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Boyfriend/girlfriend dynamtic with meals are completely different when you're living with someone and/or commonlaw/married. You can't compare or have the same expectations or obligations to one another. Hope that makes sense..It did in my head. LOL. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years now and we live together. We just both have no desire to marry. Im not sure if you were reffering to me in your post but I just thought I would clarify about our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I ... would never date a man who thought it was my job to cook for him. A lot of guys feel they would never want to date a woman who thought it was their job to pay for everything. I'm OK with it. *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years now and we live together. We just both have no desire to marry. Im not sure if you were reffering to me in your post but I just thought I would clarify about our relationship. So you don't feel the need to want to cook him a nice meal on occasion? Can I ask? What do you two do when it comes to meals? He makes his own dinner and you make your own? Or do you take turns? What about laundry, do you each do your own or take turns, same goes with the house cleaning and yard work? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 It isn't my JOB to make supper for my husband - I LIKE to do it because it's just nice to come home from work and have a good cooked meal on the table. He does the same for me. Rainfall, what are your thoughts on this? If one person works and the other doesn't, who makes dinner? Let's say if you were home and he was working, wouldn't you think it would fair for you to be the one making dinner? Or if he was the one at home and you were out working, then he should be the one making dinner..Just curious on your thoughts.. This isn't a sexist question, btw.. Link to post Share on other sites
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