What I think about hitting children.

[Moose]

I'd love to just take their head and smash it into a building.

Whether you meant this in a literal sense or not, this is not good....in retrospect, yes, please stick with not spanking your children and go on letting others "think" your a wuss of a parent.........(Not meant as an insult).....

[Meaplus3]

 

When parents say others have no idea how hard it can be...well I believe that they don't.

 

This is so true!!

 

AP:)

[Nemo]

As well as an "Alert Us" button next to each post, we need a "Spank Me" button, too. There are plenty of LS heads that I wish (at times) I could smash into a building. A hard, unforgiving building - not one of those bouncy castle things.

[hotgurl]

I am a single parent of a 13 year old and I never have spanked her.

 

I don't believe in it. I feel it is demeaning and counterproductive.

 

I used time outs, talking, behavior modeling, the method of taking away something she likes. ie no computer etc...

 

For her I found it is the best to use positive reinforcement for good behaviors therefore I rarley have to punish her.

 

but we are a weird family in that we have no tv, family dinners are a must and we do a lot together including working around the house etc...

 

Sometimes I worry about my parenting maybe I could be better and doing more but I have to it has worked out for us.

 

case in point she has a friends who is hanging out with people who are doing drugs. and she told this friend that it wasn't cool and she didn't want to hang out with druggies and that she was worried about the friend.

[a4a]

Yeah but I don't much care what others think of me.

 

It is that though. I feel ashamed because it's a reflection on me. My kids go at it a lot. Mostly always at home. When they misbehave in public it irritates me so badly I'd love to just take their head and smash it into a building.

 

But I constrain myself.

 

Slapping my kids around is not my style. The hugs and kisses I've given them by far have outnumbered the hits they've gotten. Way far outnumbered the hits.

 

The bottom line is we all do the best that we can according to our own situations.

 

You do have an obligation to keep your children under control in public. So don't think of it as just their actions make you look bad. For their own safety and safety of others you have to control them as well.

[amaysngrace]

You do have an obligation to keep your children under control in public. So don't think of it as just their actions make you look bad. For their own safety and safety of others you have to control them as well.

 

Thanks.

 

I don't freak out for no apparent reason. If they misbehave in a way that is not to my liking I tell them to knock it off. They usually stop but if they go at it again I give them a warning. "Knock it off or we're leaving". If they act up one more time then we leave.

 

A word to the wise ought to be enough. If it's not then too bad. They're acting stupid. So we go home.

[hotgurl]

Thanks.

 

I don't freak out for no apparent reason. If they misbehave in a way that is not to my liking I tell them to knock it off. They usually stop but if they go at it again I give them a warning. "Knock it off or we're leaving". If they act up one more time then we leave.

 

A word to the wise ought to be enough. If it's not then too bad. They're acting stupid. So we go home.

 

I had to do that once with my daughter when she was five. She threw a fit in the grocery store because I wouldn't get her candy and I picked her up and left. I had to leave a whole cart of groceries too.

 

but she never pitched a fit in a store again.

 

I think the problem is not whether or not you spank you kids. the problem nowadays is that parents try to be their children's friends.

[amaysngrace]

I had to do that once with my daughter when she was five. She threw a fit in the grocery store because I wouldn't get her candy and I picked her up and left. I had to leave a whole cart of groceries too.

 

but she never pitched a fit in a store again.

 

I had that same grocery store experience.

 

It was the worst. I think it was Thanksgiving shopping and the store was packed and the food in the cart was mounding up in a heap.

 

I left it anyway.

[Moose]

I had to do that once with my daughter when she was five. She threw a fit in the grocery store because I wouldn't get her candy and I picked her up and left. I had to leave a whole cart of groceries too.

In that scenario, I would've kneeled down to her level, and tell her that I'm about to count to three. If she didn't quit throwing her fit by the time I got to three, she would get swatted.

 

99% of the time, that worked. The other 1% causes DFS to come back for a visit.....they know me quite well......

 

It's a terrible shame that you've wasted all that time shopping, then make one of the very UNDERPAID associates put your stuff back.....all because of a bratty kid.....(no insult intented here either).....

[Lizzie60]

Parents that beat their children are, IMO, most of the time, uneducated people.. negligent.. or/and just plain lazy.. spanking and beating is waaayy easier and faster.. no need to use psychology.. just your 'strength'...

 

Only 'weak' parents use force with their children. It shows poor parental techniques..

[hotgurl]

I had that same grocery store experience.

 

It was the worst. I think it was Thanksgiving shopping and the store was packed and the food in the cart was mounding up in a heap.

 

I left it anyway.

 

it does suck.

 

The one the really stuck with my daughter was when she was 4 or 5 she took a candy bar in the check out line. I didn't notice at the time.

 

but when we got to the car I noticed it and marched her back in made her talk to the manager and give back the candy bar and apologize. She never took anything again.

[Moose]

Parents that beat their children are, IMO, most of the time, uneducated people.. negligent.. or/and just plain lazy.. spanking and beating is waaayy easier and faster.. no need to use psychology.. just your 'strength'...

 

Only 'weak' parents use force with their children. It shows poor parental techniques..

It's a good thing you've posted this only as your opinion.....

[hotgurl]

In that scenario, I would've kneeled down to her level, and tell her that I'm about to count to three. If she didn't quit throwing her fit by the time I got to three, she would get swatted.

 

99% of the time, that worked. The other 1% causes DFS to come back for a visit.....they know me quite well......

 

It's a terrible shame that you've wasted all that time shopping, then make one of the very UNDERPAID associates put your stuff back.....all because of a bratty kid.....(no insult intented here either).....

 

well I think it a shame that DFS has been to your house so many times.

 

They have never been to mine.

 

also I am surprised you think the associates are underpaid since you are not in favor of raising the minimum wage since it would bankrupt businesses.

 

but she learned the lesson.

[Trialbyfire]

I think the problem is not whether or not you spank you kids. the problem nowadays is that parents try to be their children's friends.

Until they get to a certain maturity level, individual-reliant, a real equal friendship can't exist. Mutual respect, love and trust can exist. You move from parent to advisor/friend when they hit that level of maturity. I think many parents have difficulties with this time, in that they have difficulties letting go of control.

 

Having said all that, going back to reasoning, children are rational beings that can and need to be encouraged towards rational thinking and self-control. If you can't even control yourself as a parent, what kind of example are you providing to your children?

 

I recall as an older child and teenager, my parents as they should, would shut us down on certain wants. This was final unless you could bring new information to the table, that was delivered in a reasonable and rational manner. Conceptually, it was intended to teach negotiation without displaying negative emotional behaviours. This didn't mean they always said yes, far from it since as children and teenagers, we didn't always bring irrefutable proof that we should be allowed to do or have whatever.

[a4a]

My H was never spanked as a child and look how great he turned out.

[amaysngrace]

The one the really stuck with my daughter was when she was 4 or 5 she took a candy bar in the check out line. I didn't notice at the time.

 

but when we got to the car I noticed it and marched her back in made her talk to the manager and give back the candy bar and apologize. She never took anything again.

 

My son too. He theived a little glass rabbit from a bird house place down the road. I made him bring it back and apologize.

 

Kids....

[amaysngrace]

My H was never spanked as a child and look how great he turned out.

 

Get the fork!

[a4a]

I am a single parent of a 13 year old and I never have spanked her.

 

I don't believe in it. I feel it is demeaning and counterproductive.

 

I used time outs, talking, behavior modeling, the method of taking away something she likes. ie no computer etc...

 

For her I found it is the best to use positive reinforcement for good behaviors therefore I rarley have to punish her.

 

but we are a weird family in that we have no tv, family dinners are a must and we do a lot together including working around the house etc...

 

Sometimes I worry about my parenting maybe I could be better and doing more but I have to it has worked out for us.

 

case in point she has a friends who is hanging out with people who are doing drugs. and she told this friend that it wasn't cool and she didn't want to hang out with druggies and that she was worried about the friend.

 

You need to apply for the wife/spouse swap show ..... you make 50 grand if they take you on.

I wonder if your teen is upset over the no tv thing... seems a bit extreme... very granola. But your kid.... your rules. I can respect that but you got to respect other peoples choices too.

[hotgurl]

You need to apply for the wife/spouse swap show ..... you make 50 grand if they take you on.

I wonder if your teen is upset over the no tv thing... seems a bit extreme... very granola. But your kid.... your rules. I can respect that but you got to respect other peoples choices too.

 

I can accept other peoples choices. I just don't agree with spanking.

 

The TV thing is a combo of us loosing our antenna and not wanting to shell out for satellite and seeing how much more she read after the TV was gone.

 

We haven't had TV for 2 years. but we do rent netflix. I am so not granola I am one of the only people in VT to wear heels.

 

but to each his own I guess I just think it is extreme if DCS gets called in.

[Nemo]

I stole a medium-sized pink dildo from an "adult" shop when I was five or six. (I was with my parents at the time.) I got caught because the price tag was conspicuously hanging out below one of the pockets in my shorts. Anyway, when they found out where I had hidden it, they didn't want it back.

 

And so began a long sequence of disappointments for my parents. They never screamed at me, or raised a hand in anger, but they did make a point of keeping track of all my toys.

[Moose]

well I think it a shame that DFS has been to your house so many times.

 

They have never been to mine.

 

also I am surprised you think the associates are underpaid since you are not in favor of raising the minimum wage since it would bankrupt businesses.

 

but she learned the lesson.

1. It's not shameful to have DFS come out and check on the conditions in which children live. In our case though, they've always left with POSITIVE remarks, and I've always gotten straight A's across the board.

 

2. Where in the world did you get the idea I'm not in favor of raising the minimum wage??!!

 

3. "You" say she's learned her lesson. Only "she" knows what's she's learned.

[a4a]

I stole a medium-sized pink dildo from an "adult" shop when I was five or six. (I was with my parents at the time.) I got caught because the price tag was conspicuously hanging out below one of the pockets in my shorts. Anyway, when they found out where I had hidden it, they didn't want it back.

 

And so began a long sequence of disappointments for my parents. They never screamed at me, or raised a hand in anger, but they did make a point of keeping track of all my toys.

 

See reason enough to be pro spanking.... look at how Nemo turned out!!

[a4a]

I can accept other peoples choices. I just don't agree with spanking.

 

The TV thing is a combo of us loosing our antenna and not wanting to shell out for satellite and seeing how much more she read after the TV was gone.

 

We haven't had TV for 2 years. but we do rent netflix. I am so not granola I am one of the only people in VT to wear heels.

 

but to each his own I guess I just think it is extreme if DCS gets called in.

 

OT - you are too granola!!! (wood stove and all)

 

DCS gets called for a variety of reasons. If your kid draws a picture of a vampire on Halloween at school they are (DCS) called in because your kid obviously has problems at home.

 

Cripes - Am I defending Moose? Capt Ahab of the old days?

[hotgurl]

See reason enough to be pro spanking.... look at how Nemo turned out!!

 

well in Nemo's case I don't think spanking would have really been a punishment.

[hotgurl]

OT - you are too granola!!! (wood stove and all)

 

I think we are just cheap. Although we were thinking of setting up that lesbian soap making commune.