Is interracial dating with asian men not popular?

[Generic]

First off, I am a white guy.

I do hate it when things get labeled in American society as racist when they clearly aren't. So yeah you'll probably label me as conservative.

But, having said that, let me just say that the American media is racist in its portrail of Asian men. I have been able to find reasons to refute many claims of racism in our society but on that one, there's no excuse.

It's no wonder that asian guys are having trouble dating outside of their race and their women are flocking to other races in higher proportion.

These dudes are getting portraid as asexual, meek, no personality - or the opposite - weird, and finally the all too familiar martial artists. Secondly, I think this is giving them a complex as to loose confidence towards approaching women of other races.

The media thinks it's fine to show a white male with an asian female like in the Tide commercial or that friggen Kaiser permanente commercial but they will never show an asian male with any other race. That's f'ed up.

They never show an asian male in any serious staring role except martial arts. And by the way, he never gets the girl in the end. Hell, there isn't even a girl to get in half those movies. That's f'ed up.

For all the complaints of racism that I think are bull-ish and I wish would shut the f-up, I'd actually like to see more asian men start complaining about this one a lot more.

Basically, this kind of racist crap gives all the other false claims of racism credence.

[cool_dude855]

I´m an Asian girl, but where I live there are few Asians that I know, fact is I hardly know any guy about my age who is Asian. I do see Chinese students at my university, but I have to admit, physically they do not attract me at all. As I also don´t really like the way how they often approach me, it kind of lacks manners (manners = petit-bourgeois?), I don´t care much for getting to know them better or befriend them. I don´t say that all are like this, but very often they are a bit rude, I never get approached like this by Japanese people, neither by women nor by men.

 

You find them a bit rude because you don't know their culture very well. Chinese are among the most polite people in the world. I found them too polite. On the other hand: I find girls like cultivated man with clean shave and nice haircut. Maybe that's why. Most of women judging their future mates by their looks instead of their brains, their potentials. I think that's silly.

 

I only date girls with brains. Of course she has to be cute as well.

 

[Wolvesbaned]

I noticed this thread's been around for awhile... and I've never participated until now.

 

I'm Asian and used to have a preference for Asian men, especially beautiful slanted eyes. It was unusual even then, during my teens and early college years. This preference of mine was partially influenced by my childhood experiences with racism and not belonging. I have more "Asian" features for a Filipina and was always presumed as different. I also grew up in a neighborhood almost entirely ignorant of any other Asian culture aside from Chinese, and where there were no Chinese families around. Incidents of racial slurs from strangers, and feeling like I didn't belong in my own culture, had affected my self-image as a child.

 

Thank goodness I learned to "love myself" at an early age and began to view my Asian eyes as they were... only beautiful. I then sought out boys with similar features. Yes, I liked Asian guys before Jet Li broke into the mainstream.

 

I must confess that the Asian men I dated were all relatively tall, 5'10 and up, and none were meek. Most were born in raised outside of Asia but still retained their Asian culture.

 

As for "white boys", I was never really interested in dating them for some reason (and I had met some very attractive ones in the past). Until now But that's a completely different matter, which has something to do with my ex and wanting something completely "different" even if its just the physical that's different.

 

There are books about how Asians in general (especially men) get a bum rap in American media. I've actually been surprised lately how more Asians are seen on TV --though not enough, and yes no real leading roles outside the martial artist. But hey, martial artists are pretty damn cool anyways and other (non-Asian) girls are noticing!

 

As for the Asian boy who started the thread (if he's still around): Play the media's limited/stereotypical portrayal of Asian guys to your advantage. With girls: what's different is cool

[Wolvesbaned]

The stereotype about asians is a little classist on the global level -- women are conditioned to be drawn to wealthier men. Right now, at this point in our civilization, size is associated with social status and wealth. Other visual indicators of wealth of resident nation are the straightness and whiteness of teeth, fineness of hair, variation in hair color, clothes, shoes, etc.

This stereotype is blown completely out-of-the-water when these "women" (that are attracted to, yet associate wealth with bulk & good teeth) meet a filthy rich Taiwanese businessman (or his only son, depending on age)

[alphamale]

Why is it that whenever american talk about "asians" they end up meaning oriental like japanese or chinese. What about asian-indians who are actually caucasoid?

 

Why is it always about the mongoloids? There are other asians too, you know!!

[dyermaker]

You're complaining for the sake of complaining.

[phat.mah]

Hey all im new to this forum.

I'll give my own input being an asian male.

 

I live in Australia and am considered a "Aussian" ( Aussie Asian). My friends from high-school and uni say out of a group of around 60-70 there are only another 4 asians ( 2 males , 2 females ) in the group.The rest of my friends are "white" but all from different walks of life. I always go to the gym and like playing rugby. I've dated few asians but mainly "white" women (south african, aussies etc.)

 

For the Asian guys wondering why you have problems with White females :-

 

1) Height and mass is pretty important. I'm not tall but im not short, I'm 5' 11. Taller than a majority of the aussie women. I wouldn't say you'd NEED an average build, but it'd be a definate helper.Not saying you need to go to the gym, but hardly any aussie women like skinny, "fragile" looking men. They want men who they can feel safe with if you get where im coming from..

 

2) I've been told this by many aussie chicks.. the main problem with asian men is that YOU ARE NOT CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO APPROACH THESE "white" girls! And if you are an asian which just hangs out with asians, speak only asian, eat only asian etc.. HOW DO YOU EXPECT THEM TO FEEL COMFORTABLE BEING WIT YOU? If you wan a partner outside your own race, stop speaking only asian, stop mixing with only asians. If you can't do this, how do you expect the WF ( white females ) to step out of their own comfort zone?

 

3) SPEAK & PRACTICE your english! If you can't communicate fluently and smothly with the girl, forget your hopes.

 

For the White guys who want to date Asian women :-

 

1) this will seem weird but, quite a large majority of the asian female population dont' fancy too much bulk.

you hardly see a well-built asian male model in a asian magazine?? They are mostly pretty slender. tall & skinny.

 

2) Aussian women will date white guys for sure. Its the asian asian women who are bit more closed. Same point as in number 2 in the earlier collumn, except for females now.

 

 

jus my thoughts on this topic. if u wan an asian girl, you can be as asian as u want..if u wan a WF, den start thinking outside the box.

[MarilynMonroe]

i'm black and i find asian men attractive. but i don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that i took tae kwon do for several years when i was younger so i spent a lot of time around korean kids. but i find beauty in every race. u kind of have to when u grow up aroind the military. i have noticed that u rarely see black women dating asian men. i've seen a few white women with asian men. i have a lot of friends that are black and korean or white and korean, but in those cases, their mother's are asian, not the dad, but anyhow, i'd like to date an asian man. i have a thing for pretty eyes and i absolutely LOVE slanted eyes. they're gorgeous. and i think asians and blacks make beautiful kids together..... but i haven't had any asian guys to ask me out. i had a crush on a guy who was part asian and white, but he looked mostly asian. u wouldn't have known one of his parents was white unless he told u, but i got my feelings hurt with that one because we were both in middle school and he lived in my neighborhood and i went to ask him if he wanted to come outside and hang out, but he told me he couldn't because his white grandparents didn't want him playing with black kids. that was when i lived in alabama.

[statsgirl]

I dated an Asian man for 8 years. His parents moved here a month before he was born. They had a big problem with me, but toward the end they admitted that i was good to him and they accepted me.

 

I was totally into him and he was good to me for most of our relationship and then we just grew apart. But, after him, I dated a Caucasian man for 3 years and then I dated a black man for 5 years. I must say that the Asian man treated me the best of all of them. He was the most giving, emotionally speaking, he was by far the most honest and the most responsible.

 

He is married now and we are still close friends today. We split up 10 years ago. The other men, I wouldn't waste my spit on if I saw them in the street.

 

I am 5'9", and I was an inch taller than my Asian boyfriend. He did have the smallest penis of all three men, but I had very good sex with him. Size didn't matter in the end. People need to stop using that as an excuse. It is more of the cultural differences and our beliefs about those differences that make people "stick" to one race or another. Sheer ignorance, that's all.

 

Men are men. Some are good and some are bad. Get to know a man and consider dating him based on how he treats you and how well you communicate, trust and respect each other, and how close you feel toward each other. Learn to be color blind, leave your misconceptions about culture at the door and take a person for how they are, not what they are.

[Patiently waiting]

Well, I don't date Asian men simply because I don't find them attractive in general, just a personal thing I guess. I have never met or seen one that I would want to date just as I have never seen a watermelon that I would want to eat. (I don't care for watermelon......).

[statsgirl]

That is a good point. Personal preference is OK too, as long as it based on personal taste. I would not want to date a man with a mullet and tattoos. Just personal preference. Understood.

 

My point is about making choices based on perceptions of a culture or race, not the facts about the person in front of them, race aside. Some caucasions would never date a black man even if they find him attractive just bc of their upbringing or perception about black men.

 

I see your point also.

[GreenCap]

It has been interesting reading the comments, being an Asian guy myself. And after speaking with my caucasion and black friends, I realise that interracial dating is all about perception either propogated by the media or just cultural steoreotypes. Granted not all people think of feel this way but again this is from my observations and discussions with friends after observing that many Asian women who come over to the US to study seem to be able to hook up quite easily while the men seem to strike out.

 

It appears that many in the West perceive Asian women to be "cleaner" if you catch my drift while perceive Asian men to be "shorter" in stature. I understand this is a gross generalization but this perception has been embedded in the Western psyche for quite some time now and it is tough to shake. Why this perception persists I do not know as I know many Asian women who flaunt their sexuality much more overtly - particularly if they arrived from major foreign cities.

 

As for Asian men, I am not quite sure what the issues are as I myself have trouble meeting women of other races. Anyway, thought I throw this thought out there for discussion purposes. And if anyone can suggest the best way to meet women of other races, that would be helpful as well :-)

[Violet1978]

 

Love the brown boys! luv 'em! I think asian mixes are the sexiest all around.

 

The last boyfriend I had was Korean, Japanese, Hawaiian, and white.

 

Incredible. He was 6ft, with coffee 'n cream skin, gorgeous cheek bones and

 

eyes and a lean, muscular body (and other asian sterotypes did not apply,

 

I'm happy to report). Although, I suppose I should be upset b/c

 

now I can't look at a white boy without comparing <sigh>.

 

Anyway, I didn't realize that dating one race or another was a trend and even

 

if it were, I wouldn't pay much attention. I happily await the day when

 

everyone is a nice muddled color and it ceases to be an issue. Until then, I

 

will continue to date men who can be out with me all day in the sun and not

 

worry about frying or turning lobster-red. <grin>

[Ravena4321]

[And if anyone can suggest the best way to meet women of other races, that would be helpful as well :-)

 

Greencap,

 

There is no specific 'formula' for meeting women of other ethnicities as Im sure you are aware. However, I believe that I can offer practical advice that may assist you. The first thing you may want to do is to be 'open'. By that I mean when you see a woman of another race 'see' her or acknowledge her presence either by holding eye contact and smiling at her or do so in conjunction with saying hello. A smile and eye contact goes along way.

 

I am a Black woman and believe me when I say that we are watching and we do 'see' [Asian men]. Just give us the 'go' sign and you may not have to do much beyond that

 

Good Luck to you!

[linchong]

I love al you girls, including girls not interested in asian guys. I'm asian, and I start to love my own asian girls after years of getting accepted and rejected by white, black, and latino girls... but I still love them all. You are all my sweet hearts! and btw... how can you say asian guys, especially china boys, not attractive. I weigh 165, 5'10... man, i think I'm "awefully" attractive...

[VercigenariX]

I would love to date an asian woman, they are the only girls that look hot even though they are generally way too small. (I like bigger women normally).

 

Unfortunatelly, in my immediate area, absolutely none of them have enough grasp of the english language to reasonably carry on a relationship. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, since it doesn't bug me as much as it should, im more or less afraid of her being rejected by my family because of it.

 

But hey, im a collegiate black male, ill probably end up dating one person from every country until I find the right girl. I think im going to put a calendar on my wall and cross off a country per girl i find.

[debs]

 

I admit it I look at Asian men more so now after being married to a man of Korean descent! Both his mother and father were Asian, who migrated to Aiea, Hawaii...

 

Now that I am open to freely date ( I am divorced), I do tend to look at them more so than the Caucasian ones!

[goforberoke]

I'M AN ASIAN GUY AND I THINK WE ASIANS ARE BEING TOO DAMN INSECURE!!!!! FEMALES ARE ATTRACTED TO CONFIDENCE, SHOW CONFIDENCE!!!

[GreenCap]

Yeah, confidence....and putting too much in and you come across as a total jerk.

 

I just regained some self-esteem due to a bad break-up and only managed to gradually get back to my pre-breakup confidence. But you add 5 pints of harpoon dark to it and yikes....all those pent up anger plus the goal to break free from the past brought out some jerkiness....thankfully the ladies were cool with my bluntness and devil may care attitude......and took it for teasing....will have to temper the drink in take next time.

 

Anyway, confidence does go a long way and eye contact baby, eye contact.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by GreenCap

Yeah, confidence....and putting too much in and you come across as a total jerk.

 

I just regained some self-esteem due to a bad break-up and only managed to gradually get back to my pre-breakup confidence. But you add 5 pints of harpoon dark to it and yikes....all those pent up anger plus the goal to break free from the past brought out some jerkiness....thankfully the ladies were cool with my bluntness and devil may care attitude......and took it for teasing....will have to temper the drink in take next time.

 

Anyway, confidence does go a long way and eye contact baby, eye contact.

 

well GREENCAP, i am asian-indian and have dated women of all backgrounds. Then again I am taller, 5'11" with a large build (200 lb) and above avg looking and come from a upper middle class background.

 

I always found that I had to work harder and be better than the white americans to get decent girls. But I have date a number of beautiful caucasian women. It is confidence but it is also about money and looks. I am not a typical asian indian cause we moved here when I was seven. The only thing about me that is different is my upbringing and the way I look. But women of all races tell me I am handsome.

 

But 95% of asian guys do have a lot of trouble in this area. I know a lot of asian indian physicians that can have any girl they want, unfortuantely the women are after $$$.

[GreenCap]

In this globalized world, isn't it always about money...that was one of the things that got me together with my ex for after knowing her for over year, she didn't seem like those money grubbing types but in the end, that was one of her concerns. I guess women want that financial security and while I am able to provide some of that, apparently not enough...also she makes quite a bit as well and that was never an issue until Sept last year.

 

Hmmm, where did I put that lotto ticket :-)

[debs]

I for one would rather someone who complimented my salary than a millioniare types. Being a caucausin I never was one who "went" after one with mega bucks.

 

Nice to have but as I now know money does not buy happiness just more material things!

 

I now look at a more simplistic life style and travel!

 

No I am far from the norm! I have learned from years of lost loves!

[mochaprincess]

Hello, everyone! I recently caught a glimpse of this site while browsing the internet. I'm a black female and I just adore Asian men! What attracts to me to them? Physical attributes: mysterious dark eyes; high, defined cheekbones; silky, black hair; slender, muscular physiques. Emotional attributes: quiet strength; sense of pride in family and friendships; strong work ethic. What appeals to me the most is the high level of intellect. Asians seem to have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and strive to reach even higher levels. Remember, the sexiest part of the body is the brain!

 

My advice to Asian men who are interested in dating Black women is to just be yourself. Try to be a little less modest when approaching women. We are much more receptive than you give us credit for. After all, we do "see" you watching [and you know who you are]. I hope this helps. By the way, Linchong, are you available?

Wuan aun!

 

 

 

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

[alphamale]

Originally posted by mochaprincess

What appeals to me the most is the high level of intellect. Asians seem to have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and strive to reach even higher levels. Remember, the sexiest part of the body is the brain!

 

Let me point something out here MOCHAPRINCESS:

 

The reason why there are so many smart asians here in the US is cause they are the only ones allowed to immigrate here. My father came to the us in 1972 cause he was a physician and me and my two brothers are all educated.

 

Asians as a race are no smarter or dumber than any other race. Most asians you see here are smarter cause their parents were and they stressed education.

[GreenCap]

The recent wave of asian immigration to the US was due to education opportunities to take hold of future economic prospects, much like alphamale's parents.

 

But we also have to look back in the early 1900s and even some instances now where asian immigrants from the uneducated classes came over to provide menial labor much like our neighbors from the south of the border are doing present day. But one thing for sure as AM pointed out is that education does provide the stepping stone to brighter opportunities whether the chance exists or not.

 

Anyway, we are diverging from the topic.