Author Ariadne Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 Letting go of your fantasy will be tough...I get the sense from other posts that therapy is out of the question for you? Well, maybe I'll make the fantasy work somehow if I ever need that again. Come up with some weird explanation for everything, I need that sometimes. But yes, I don't believe in therapy. Thank you.
Calisto Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Well, maybe I'll make the fantasy work somehow if I ever need that again. Come up with some weird explanation for everything, I need that sometimes. But yes, I don't believe in therapy. Thank you. I'm with you on the therapy thing. They just really tell you the same stuff people who are close to you will tell you.
Art_Critic Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Well, maybe I'll make the fantasy work somehow if I ever need that again. You need to stop trying to make the fantasy work.. Remember this:.. it bears repeating But you should understand that I'm not looking for a romantic relationship with you
Author Ariadne Posted June 26, 2008 Author Posted June 26, 2008 You need to stop trying to make the fantasy work.. Remember this:.. it bears repeating Well, I don't care to date anyone either. Sometimes is good to have some make believe perfect love.
Art_Critic Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Sometimes is good to have some make believe perfect love. But to combat make believe you might try some reality.. This part is real... But you should understand that I'm not looking for a romantic relationship with you
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Ok you guys, This is it. I wrote those emails to Denver guy this morning hoping that he'd say something that would justify writing to him. But there isn't anything else to say... I wrote to him again and told him that he didn't need to respond to that. I am absolutely nothing to him. He cares for me like he cares for "fellow human being". And of course, there is nothing else to talk about with him, either. Before, we shared, but now that it is completely pointless. I'm not going to write to some guy just because. I don't write to anybody. And I can't possibly put him through that drag. My fantasy worked because I believed he loved me. But now, my fantasy is gone. There is no fantasy. No more Denver guy. I hope you mean this and really work on changing your thinking patterns, because just saying no more DG isn't going to work. It's a start, but you need to really WANT to work on getting over him, getting out of the habit of dreaming, fantasizing and wanting him. I know you aren't into therapy, which is a shame because CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) would really help you with this. It would give you the tools and confidence to deal with the emotional part and the mental part as well. Just a suggestion, why not pick up afew books on CBT? Been there, done that, try this! By Sam Obitz and The Feeling Good Book by Dr. David Burns are afew to read to help you.
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I'm with you on the therapy thing. They just really tell you the same stuff people who are close to you will tell you. Friends and family and online forums can only help to a certain point. If someone has real issues that affecting their lives and are out of control only a trained therapist can help them out of the funk. They don't just tell you the same stuff a T does. Those who don't believe in counselling are scared of change, scared of all the hard work they'll have to do.
Walking away Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I find it very hard to believe that our heroine will be able to give up this obsession after two full years of feeding it, living it, breathing it.... just like that. Doubtful. Very doubtful. Unless this was all a bunch of bull from start to finish and she has just been vying for attention all this time. And if that is true: if she can walk away from Denver Guy without a look back after two years of "obsession".... She has been playing everyone for years... And THAT would be sick.
Nevermind Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I don't know, it seems "interesting" that Ariadne can simply decide to end the fantasy. However, telling her that it was never a real obsession to begin with..is the wrong way. It can only give the impression that she needs to stay hooked to prove her love...which is not true. So...if you're really seeing it this way now, Ariadne, then I am very glad. Congratulations.
Walking away Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 I am simply speculating on how much of her talk is true or how much is attention seeking. It almost seems histrionic to me.... I have no doubt that she was obsessed two years ago. That is clear. Was she STILL obsessed when he responded back to her after two years? I don't know. Seems weird that she was totally obsessed last week and now she isn't. That isn't how obsession looks. You can't just change your mind. It takes lots and lots of work to get over that type of thing. What I do doubt is how easy it will be to give the obsession up just like that if, in fact, she truly is still obsessed. If she is able to just walk away, she is odder and more bizarre than I thought. And totally out of my realm of understanding. This situation gets crazier and crazier by the day.... Doesn't make sense. But, then again, this type of situation has NEVER made sense to me. WA
tinke Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 nope, as stated earlier, this thread NEVER added up! NEVER believed it! Never believed her son wrote, etc. It IS indeed, twisted! Very manipulative...poor me. But...nope, I refuse to hear what anyone is saying. Throughout the all of it, I never saw her purpose for continuing this thread...except, attention. It is my belief, the woman enjoys starting things up, and fuels the fire as needed. Furthermore, to HER, I believe this becomes very entertaining...even the atavar gets changed frequently throughout her posts. awww, sweet! The amusement is done!
Trialbyfire Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 While some of you might not believe this thread, it's real, for all its fantasy elements. Ariadne, I also hope you continue to work on this!
BlueEyedGirl Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Breaking news: Wendy and Denver guy got back together.
Citizen Erased Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Breaking news: Wendy and Denver guy got back together. And? I really don't see how that is any of our business.
whichwayisup Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Breaking news: Wendy and Denver guy got back together. Huh?
Author Ariadne Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Hey, I hope you mean this and really work on changing your thinking patterns, because just saying no more DG isn't going to work. I'm just fine actually. I see DG like I see a total stranger now. And I'm happy even. Today as I was driving in the freeways I was so exhilerated it was almost as if I was high. Don't know why. Singing all the way home. I know you aren't into therapy, which is a shame because CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) would really help you with this. No, I'm not into therapy because I don't like that approach to problems. I'm into spiritual stuff as I mentioned before. Say, this is a good example for the understanding of this (listen).
Author Ariadne Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 I find it very hard to believe that our heroine will be able to give up this obsession after two full years of feeding it, living it, breathing it....just like that. Well, the whole point that sustained this was that we were soulmates. After his response and his rejection I don't believe that anymore.
Author Ariadne Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 While some of you might not believe this thread, it's real, for all its fantasy elements. Ariadne, I also hope you continue to work on this! Thank you TBF.
Ocean-Blue Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Well, the whole point that sustained this was that we were soulmates. After his response and his rejection I don't believe that anymore. I see the cows have their bags packed... I hope this is the start of something fresh for you. I dig you.
Walking away Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Well, the whole point that sustained this was that we were soulmates. After his response and his rejection I don't believe that anymore. He rejected you two years ago when he stopped contact, yet you still clung to the "soulmate" thing... Why NOW isn't he your soulmate? He just reiterated in his email what he had been saying in his actions for two years....
Author Ariadne Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Breaking news: Wendy and Denver guy got back together. Yeah, She posted this this morning. Not sure if she is talking about him: --------------- But I realized that instead of whining about how I feel like everything is shifting, and like I'm running on sand, instead I could just realize I AM running on sand, because it's a beach and it's beautiful and has so much potential. I am happy. Really, really happy. No expectations. No strings. No cherished outcomes. No demands. Just a man. A really, really nice man. And he's not hard on the eyes, either. (rowr!) When things are good and I'm busy, I'm not on the internet so much (hmmm, what does that say). So no worries. Things are awesome. --------- And then added a piece at the end for you guys: --------- P.S. Okay, so you LoveShack people. I don't care. Seriously. Please stop emailing me. I know you mean well. I really do, and I'm sorry to hear that without us evil exes the new thread isn't as interesting, but I'm not coming back to your forum. I don't care about that situation, and there's nothing I could do about it even if I DID care. Thanks, but no thanks.
Walking away Posted June 27, 2008 Posted June 27, 2008 Ariadne, If you are over all this finally, why are you still reading Wendy's stuff?
Author Ariadne Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 I see the cows have their bags packed... I hope this is the start of something fresh for you. I dig you. Thank you. Something new I don't look forward to, but you never know what will happen. I'm open.
Author Ariadne Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 He rejected you two years ago when he stopped contact, yet you still clung to the "soulmate" thing... Why NOW isn't he your soulmate? He just reiterated in his email what he had been saying in his actions for two years.... Because this is the second chance that he doesn't want anything to do with me. It's clear now. I justified it the first time as he was bound on a promise, that's not the case anymore.
Author Ariadne Posted June 27, 2008 Author Posted June 27, 2008 Ariadne, If you are over all this finally, why are you still reading Wendy's stuff? I've never been an advocate of NC. I'm still curious, I'll be curious till I'm curious.
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