Art_Critic Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 To suggest that this was a P/R stunt is ludicrous. She emailed him first. She posted it. Of course she emailed him first.. he won't contact her.. he only replies to her contact...and only twice in over 2 years and only twice to her 10's or 100's of emails she has sent him. and the PR stunt slant was meant by the posters in the order of what he replied back to her with not the fact that he replied... The content of the email is what was the PR part... Link to post Share on other sites
Calisto Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Yes he was being trashed for his personal lifestyle, decorating taste, etc. he would probably have some reaction, but he was relating this reaction to Ariadne, not the board. I doubt he gave a rip if she posted it or not. Seriously, saying it's a P/R stunt is giving him way too much credit and I thought he responded very well. If one of your exes posted a link to your website on a public website and people were trashing it, wouldn't you have a similar reaction 'sorry your internet friends can think what they want about my website, I really don't give a rip if they think I'm nerdy, gay, have unhip decorating tastes, and am gay/asexual?' I like my website so that isn't getting to me? I would. Of course she emailed him first.. he won't contact her.. he only replies to her contact...and only twice in over 2 years and only twice to her 10's or 100's of emails she has sent him. and the PR stunt slant was meant by the posters in the order of what he replied back to her with not the fact that he replied... The content of the email is what was the PR part... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Yes he was being trashed for his personal lifestyle, decorating taste, etc. he would probably have some reaction, but he was relating this reaction to Ariadne, not the board. I doubt he gave a rip if she posted it or not. Seriously, saying it's a P/R stunt is giving him way too much credit and I thought he responded very well. If one of your exes posted a link to your website on a public website and people were trashing it, wouldn't you have a similar reaction 'sorry your internet friends can think what they want about my website, I really don't give a rip if they think I'm nerdy, gay, have unhip decorating tastes, and am gay/asexual?' I like my website so that isn't getting to me? I would. What would you suggest Ariadne do ?.. remember now that this has been going on for about 3 years or so and she has yet been able to get over him .. By the way.. a website is public... nobody did anything wrong... if he didn't want his taste to be questioned then he wouldn't have posted it.. he is in the movie biz.. Link to post Share on other sites
Calisto Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I think it is clear that if she can afford therapy, she should do that, and find activities which will enrich her life so that she will soon cease to obsess over this man. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I think it is clear that if she can afford therapy, she should do that, and find activities which will enrich her life so that she will soon cease to obsess over this man. I agree with you... the OP however will not .. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 There are some societal and moral obligations involved in this situation. I hope the fantasy man can understand this and do whatever is within his power, to help Ariadne move on. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 to help Ariadne move on. He isn't going to do that because as sick as this is, he enjoys the ego feed. He enjoys knowing that a woman out there, that he really doesn't have to put much effort into, adores him. All he has to do is whisper (write) afew nice words to her and BOOM, he's got an adoring woman who finds him better than sliced cheese. If he truly cared about A and her wellbeing, he would tell her goodbye forever, block her email and never look back. He won't do that because he just doesn't care either way. He is NOT going to let himself feel partially responsible for leading her on. To him, it's ONLINE and NOT real, she doesn't count, her feelings don't count. He doesn't have to look at her as a real human being with real feelings. I said this earlier, they're on two ends of the opposite corner - Hers is fantasy and she enjoys filling in the gaps, unrealistically, fantasy-like. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 He isn't going to do that because as sick as this is, he enjoys the ego feed. He enjoys knowing that a woman out there, that he really doesn't have to put much effort into, adores him. All he has to do is whisper (write) afew nice words to her and BOOM, he's got an adoring woman who finds him better than sliced cheese. If he truly cared about A and her wellbeing, he would tell her goodbye forever, block her email and never look back. He won't do that because he just doesn't care either way. He is NOT going to let himself feel partially responsible for leading her on. To him, it's ONLINE and NOT real, she doesn't count, her feelings don't count. He doesn't have to look at her as a real human being with real feelings. I said this earlier, they're on two ends of the opposite corner - Hers is fantasy and she enjoys filling in the gaps, unrealistically, fantasy-like. I guess it might be wishful/idealistic thinking on my part that Ariadne might have been right about him being an honourable man. Of what I've experienced with honourable men, much of this would have been intuitive. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 My ex was excellent with words, always made me doubt myself and love him more. I learned that actions matter far more than words. He didn't forward the e-mails? Then how did Wendy "not tell him you wrote"? How did she get your naked pictures? Liar. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 If A's emails were forwarded to W's email, bypassing DG's email and he didn't hear from A, he could have easily emailed her. He didn't. You're right NM, actions speak louder than words - Though online it's hard to decipher what's what - That's why the fantasy is easy to keep alive on her behalf and why it was easy for him to detach. He didn't call her on the phone either and that is telling as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Exactly. And he claims, he had not forwarded her e-mails, so there is even less of an excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I think it's rather silly to say he "should" be saying this and doing that, etc. He doesn't have to come out and spill it, he probably doesn't want to hurt her further since he has already done so several times it appears. You aren't him and you can't edit what he says and doesn't say and people here are saying he should 1. contact her or 2. he was wrong by contacting her. So no matter what this guy does, he is doing the wrong thing in SOMEONE'S eyes. This guy just appears to want to live his life and isn't being overly engaged in this drama of Ariadne's. He was kind enough to email back. Oh for heavens sake do the words "put her out of her misery" mean anything to you? Or "you have to be cruel to be kind"? This has been going on for YEARS, not weeks/months. Can you honestly say YOU would string someone for years- someone you knew had a major obsession with you- without eventually telling them you aren't interested? Would you truly be nicey nicey about it and email back? (and DG isn't a "nice guy"- as Nevermind said many of his actions towards Ariadne have suggested otherwise) he either enjoys the ego boost, or he is spineless. Neither of which mean he is a "nice guy". As TBF says: There are some societal and moral obligations involved in this situation. I hope the fantasy man can understand this and do whatever is within his power, to help Ariadne move on. He isn't going to do that because as sick as this is, he enjoys the ego feed. . If he truly cared about A and her wellbeing, he would tell her goodbye forever, block her email and never look back. By the way.. a website is public... nobody did anything wrong... if he didn't want his taste to be questioned then he wouldn't have posted it.. he is in the movie biz.. Yup. Link to post Share on other sites
Calisto Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I disagree. He is not stringing her along. That is why he didn't tell her he missed her, wanted to visit her, no promises of further contact, etc. To accuse him of doing so does make it more dramatic than it is and keeps this saga going on this board, though. You know what, whichwayisup states that "if he truly cared about Ariadne".....well guess what, he doesn't really care for her, he told her that two years ago when he outright stated that he didn't love her and that he was done with all that. He is basing his behavior on the fact that he made this clear to her and the fact that she knows they are writing only as email friends. Like I mentioned before, have you had a guy interested in you and you weren't interested in him? Did you really care that much? That ambivalent feeling is natural because we don't love them, can't blame the guy for that feeling. Personally regarding the website, I don't think Ariadne has much respect herself for the OP or she wouldn't make sure that his personal blog is posted so he is subject to the drama. Illegal means nothing, I never said she was doing anything illegal. I do believe she wants real love in her life and DG represents it, but it is not true love or she wouldn't make him the subject of humiliation. Woulda coulda shoulda, we have all kinds of opinions on here on what DG should or shouldn't do, like I stated. I'm still not seeing how he is leading her on, Ariadne is the one contacting him, etc., not the other way around. She is choosing to be strung along, he isn't doing anything wrong. He might be afraid she might jump off the deep-end - I mean look at that thread, some of those comments.....if he does tell her, who knows? Suicide, I wouldn't rule that out. Sorry, I wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I disagree. He is not stringing her along. That is why he didn't tell her he missed her, wanted to visit her, no promises of further contact, etc. To accuse him of doing so does make it more dramatic than it is and keeps this saga going on this board, though. "more" dramatic? Could it get any more so? Certainly not from my input. Ariadne will keep the saga going on this board with or without my input- in fact you encouraging her that DG is a "nice guy" is probably fuelling the fire even more. Ariadne started this thread and every single other one in the last 3-4 years about Denver Guy. This topic has been part of LS on/off for as long as I can remember, since long before I became a member. You said you "skimmed" the 50 page thread. That thing was the most dramatic thread that LS has seen for ages, and most of the drama was due to DGs exes contributing and then the full extent of Ariadnes obsession with DG being uncovered. He IS stringing her along. He knows her feelings for him, and he is doing nothing to discourage them. You may not believe this, but I actually care about Ariadnes feelings, and I hate seeing her passion go to waste on someone who clearly has no feelings for her, and would happily go along with her public humiliation, yet is too weak and spineless to tell her so. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I don't think Ariadne would be suicidal over DG. She has her son to think of, for a start. And that job of hers that she LOVES Link to post Share on other sites
sfsassy Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 "more" dramatic? Could it get any more so? Certainly not from my input. Ariadne will keep the saga going on this board with or without my input- in fact you encouraging her that DG is a "nice guy" is probably fuelling the fire even more. Ariadne started this thread and every single other one in the last 3-4 years about Denver Guy. This topic has been part of LS on/off for as long as I can remember, since long before I became a member. You said you "skimmed" the 50 page thread. That thing was the most dramatic thread that LS has seen for ages, and most of the drama was due to DGs exes contributing and then the full extent of Ariadnes obsession with DG being uncovered. He IS stringing her along. He knows her feelings for him, and he is doing nothing to discourage them. You may not believe this, but I actually care about Ariadnes feelings, and I hate seeing her passion go to waste on someone who clearly has no feelings for her, and would happily go along with her public humiliation, yet is too weak and spineless to tell her so. Having been in a somewhat situation as Ariadnes, the best thing to do is just encourage her to go completely NC and not even talk about DG. When people told me my ex was a jerk, I couldn't hear them, at all. However, telling her that he is a nice guy, will just fuel the mythical god image she has in her mind. This isn't about DC guy or his exes, this is about Ariadne's life and well being. Besides being with this guy, what do you want to accomplis in your life Ariadnes. What makes you happy, besides the guy? You have a teenage son? What do you think you still could teach him? What hobbies, interests do you have? I think the most imprtant person to love, cherish , adore is youself. Truthfully I could have gone to your extreme, but I have friends, family, and most importantly a cause I care deeply, deeply about. Working on the cause in some ways saved me. I threw myself into it. What kind of work and/or interests do you have? Do you want to advance at work? These are questions that have nothing to do with DG, but YOUR life. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 When we were together my ex and I did A LOT of sharing At the time I considered him the best friend I had EVER had. We were together 11 months. Talked marriage. And like you I was DEVESTATED when he broke up with me (the day after Christmas, over the phone, no less. The dude lived 5 minutes away.) So I truly understand where you are coming from. I can't quite tell - did you miss the part where Ariadne never actually had a relationship with DG? In that sense you don't understand where she's coming from...because her obsession is not based on a real life relationship that went sour... it is based on a fantasy that has existed only in her mind for the last however many years. (dammit! I'm sucked in again too!) Link to post Share on other sites
Calisto Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 He was encouraging NC for quite a while. People are making it this DG's fault and that is not the issue. I still think he isn't at fault and wasn't stringing her along because he told her outright 2 years ago he didn't love her and he was done with that. How much more clear does it get? He is not at fault here, she knows he is not interested, she is not really holding out hope. She said she would be happy just being his penpal. She is not asking for advice, she just stated that he emailed her. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 He is not stringing her along. He IS stringing her along by continuing to write to her when HE knows HE IS NOT into her at all. She is stuck in fantasyland and interprets everything he says into something else, which inturn, gives her hope. He is not at fault here, she knows he is not interested, she is not really holding out hope. Yes he partially at fault here. That's thing, she has CONVINCED herself that HE does love her and has given many reasons why he isn't with her - That other women got in the way, etc.. etc.. This is part of the obsession, it has warped her mind and she has trouble seeing which is real and which is fantasy. That's why she stalked him and continues to hope that he'll someday come to her because they're soulmates.. I still think he isn't at fault and wasn't stringing her along because he told her outright 2 years ago he didn't love her and he was done with that. How much more clear does it get? She is not thinking clearly as you and I - We can see this, understand it and know he isn't into her - But she cannot. She's obsessed with him, why can't you see that? Link to post Share on other sites
Calisto Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I don't have to agree with you. I do understand everything going on. I still don't think this guy is feeding her fantasy or stringing her along. That might be your angle to solve this but it's not mine. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 He knows she's obsessed with him - He knows she's inlove with him - He doesn't feel the same way towards her. WHY on earth would he continue a friendship with her if she cannot handle it and refuses to see that he isn't into her. Any act of kindness as a friend IS being taken out of context upon her behalf. HE is loving this ego feed and doesn't care what it's doing to her. Any honest and good man would unselfishly see this and back off - TO the point of saying goodbye and never contacting that person again. He didn't have to write her back, yet he did. He's having fun with this. The bottomline is, this is doing alot of long term damage to Ariadne and this so-called friendship with DG is UNhealthy for her. It prevents her from moving on, finding real love face to face and it keeps her in fantasyland. She already lost TWO jobs because of her obsession for DG. I understand you don't have to agree with me - That's fine - But please keep in mind what's logical to you, isn't to A. Link to post Share on other sites
zicke Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 He knows she's obsessed with him - He knows she's inlove with him - He doesn't feel the same way towards her. WHY on earth would he continue a friendship with her if she cannot handle it and refuses to see that he isn't into her. Any act of kindness as a friend IS being taken out of context upon her behalf. HE is loving this ego feed and doesn't care what it's doing to her. Any honest and good man would unselfishly see this and back off - TO the point of saying goodbye and never contacting that person again. He didn't have to write her back, yet he did. He's having fun with this. The bottomline is, this is doing alot of long term damage to Ariadne and this so-called friendship with DG is UNhealthy for her. It prevents her from moving on, finding real love face to face and it keeps her in fantasyland. She already lost TWO jobs because of her obsession for DG. I understand you don't have to agree with me - That's fine - But please keep in mind what's logical to you, isn't to A. The only person preventing Ariadne from moving on is herself. NO ONE else. If she had any self-esteem, or maybe some therapy, she would move the hell on. This is in NO WAY DG's fault. Ariadne is doing this to herself. The man told her TWO FREAKING YEARS AGO that he wasn't into her that way. Ariadne put herself in this position, and she is the only one who can get herself out. She is Not a victim here people. Link to post Share on other sites
tinke Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Personally, I believe this is a hoax, or embellished at the least. It appears that A. may have some personality traits and enjoys the attention (whereas she still cannot state a solid reason for this post..it's surely not for advice). The huge lapse between her posts may be due to the fact that she enjoys everyone else here squabbling about the matter. Then there is the lone post or two to start it back up. Same with DG, sent enough e-mails, etc. just to keep things in an uproar. I agree, the focus continues to divert from the cause, which is A., herself. It is quite obvious that she is not seeking any advice, so I remain befuddled as to her purpose with this post. Link to post Share on other sites
zicke Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Because she is an attention whore...that's why. I have yet to see her ask for any advice on how to get over him, etc...Just repeating "but, but, he's my soulmate"..and then a ton of people here then state what an ass DG is for emailing her. He might be, but he is not the one here screaming for attention, she is. She is the one now with two threads with no point. She is enjoying the attention, and she knows it. Ariadne lost her own jobs, no one forced her to become obsessed with a b movie actor. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 People are making it this DG's fault and that is not the issue. Are you DG or a friend of his ? .. just curious... you seem pretty invested in this thread. Not that being invested in this thread is a bad thing.. I'm just curious Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts